Why Do Flowers Wilt?
by Mercy2908
Summary: The war breaks out, and its biggest consequences are those which are invisible to the eye... yet.
1. Prologue

**Why Do Flowers Wilt?**

**Prologue**

_3 November 1861_

When this war's over, don't dare come back to me. I don't want to see you again. You made your decision, and now you have to come to terms with it. Live your life the way you want and I'll live mine.

Louise

* * *

5 May 1863

Dear Mrs. McCloud,

I deeply regret to inform you that your husband Lieutenant McCloud is missing presumed dead on war action. Any further information will be communicated to you immediately.

Please let me offer you my heartfelt sympathy in your sorrow, and I pray we may soon send you good news about your husband's whereabouts.

Yours sincerely

Colonel Leonard Cooper


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_September 1871_

The door was slightly ajar and through the gap the luminous bedroom was visible to the naked eye. The flowery wall paper and the light-colored curtains at the wide windows cast no doubt about the gender of the room's owner. It was clearly a female, and every single object around oozed femininity and delicacy.

A figure had stopped at the half-opened door, and dared to scan the inside of the room. The sunlight through the spotless window panes fell on the bed dominating the place. A patchwork quilt covered the length of the bed, with matching cushions. A white blouse and blue skirt rested on top as well as one single stocking. The other one dangling from a thin hand softly flapped in the light breeze coming through the slightly open window as a woman got ready to pull it on her naked leg. After a relaxing bath, she was just wearing her white undies, and feeling totally laid-back. It was a young woman in her late twenties, and her fibrous, slim body clearly evidenced that motherhood had not touched her yet.

After a few seconds, the onlooker finally rapped her knuckles on the wooden surface of the door, and the half-dressed woman directed her eyes in that direction. A smile lit up her features as she said, "Come in, Tessie. You know you don't need to knock."

Theresa stepped into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. With slow steps she approached the bed and her sister. Her curvy hips swung gracefully in the plain dress she nicely filled. Her brown eyes and a fleshy mouth highlighted her beauty and youth, and her golden hair done in a very serious bun embellished the soft pallor of her skin.

Theresa sat down on the bed next to her older sister, and in silence continued watching her putting on both stockings. "Anything I can do for you, honey?" asked Louise, brushing her hand over her leg to smooth the folds in the material of the stockings.

"The shop's closed for the day, and I thought I could enjoy my favorite sister's company for a while."

"I'm your only sister," Louise reminded her with a smile.

"All the more reason for me to love your company. That's what sisters are for."

Louise giggled. "If you say so," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest barely covered by the flimsy chemise she was wearing. "Isn't Albert at home?"

"Yes, he returned an hour ago and…" Theresa paused, and lowering her tone of voice, she added, "he told me you got a letter today."

Lou smiled knowingly. Theresa had come to see her because she wanted to know all the details of her letter. Living with her sister and her husband of two years meant that it was almost impossible for her to keep her personal matters private. Her life was an open book for Theresa and Albert to read, and Lou guessed the same happened from their angles as well. In any case, that was a lesser evil, and she could not complain. Losing her privacy was a little price to pay if that meant she got to enjoy the pleasure of their company and the feeling she still had a family. Otherwise, life would be too lonely.

"It's a letter from Rachel," Louise explained even though her sister surely knew that already. "Apparently, next month is the tenth anniversary of the end of the Pony Express, and there's gonna be a celebration in Rock Creek."

"A celebration?"

"Yes, I'm not sure about the details, though. All I know is that it's Tompkins' idea. Remember he was elected the mayor last year?" Theresa nodded, and Lou continued, "He's decided that Rock Creek should commemorate the day since there was a station at the time. So he's asked Rachel to help him by bringing the riders to town."

"Sounds interesting," Theresa remarked, and eyeing her sister carefully, she asked, "And are you going?"

Lou hesitated. "I ain't sure, but I've thought that maybe a change of airs would do me good," Lou said. A sigh escaped her lips, and then she added, "Since we lost Miah, I've felt too suffocated, too lost… I don't know. Maybe this is what I need."

Theresa could not deny she was openly surprised. It was true that Jeremiah's death had affected Lou too much, at least more than her. Maybe it was because she could rely on Albert for comfort while Lou had nobody. Yet, just the fact that her sister was considering going to Rock Creek was really baffling. "You said once nothing in this world would make you set foot in Rock Creek again."

Lou shrugged her shoulders indifferently. "Things sometimes change."

"The memories you were so intent to flee from six years ago still remain there," Theresa remarked pointedly. When she and Jeremiah had followed their sister to Seneca, Lou had sworn she would never go to Rock Creek again. In these years Rachel, Teaspoon, and even Jimmy had visited them in their new home from time to time because Louise was adamant to keep her promise, and not even Rachel's wedding had been enough reason to persuade her to reconsider her resolution.

"I guess I'll have to face them," Lou admitted in a soft voice, doing up the last button of her blouse. "Memories never leave us no matter where we are."

Theresa kept quiet for a few seconds, pondering what her sister had said, and what she had not. Lou was a very particular person in some aspects, and Theresa hated to walk on tiptoe around her sister and certain points that in her rule book should not be mentioned. In fact, Theresa was sick and tired of being shushed, and for some reason she was feeling rebellious today. So even though she knew the risks, she said, "Louise, was Kid that important for you?"

If looks could kill, Theresa would be a dead woman at that very precise moment. "I don't want to talk about Kid," Lou muttered between gritted teeth. Just hearing his name made her throat go dry and her eyes sting.

"Yes, I know. You never want to talk about him," Theresa replied, and shifting her body so that she could look her sister directly in the eyes, she took her hands and her tone softened as she added, "Don't you think it's time for you to move on and leave the past behind?"

"The past is way behind me," Lou retorted defensively.

"I beg to differ," Theresa counterattacked. "Louise, there hasn't been a single man in your life in the last years. And not because you haven't had suitors calling at your door. Gosh, even Albert tried his hand."

Lou shook her head. "That's before he met you, and you know he was a goner the moment he set eyes on you."

"Yes," Theresa admitted with a smug smile. "But that's not what I'm talking about. Louise, what I'm saying is that you're a beautiful, young woman, and I want you to be happy."

"I 'am' happy," Lou stated, and as Theresa raised an eyebrow showing her skepticism, the brown-haired woman added, "In any case, I don't need a man. And even if I wanted, I couldn't… I just couldn't."

"Yes, I know," Theresa replied patiently. "That's why I'm telling you to break your ties with the past, free yourself from your yoke. You need to start from scratch, honey, and stop thinking about Kid and his memories, because that's all he is. It's not healthy, Louise."

Lou lowered her eyes as the pushy tears kept trying to force their way out. "I don't think about him. I think about me." A new sigh escaped her lips as she added, "You're right, I ain't really happy."

"Maybe this chance to go to Rock Creek is what you need, as you've said yourself. Take the bull by the horns, Louise, and set things right in your heart and in your life. I know you're a brave woman, and it makes no sense to let life pass you by. You have too much to give, and you just can't bury or hide your heart forever."

Louise sighed. She still did not want to talk about this whole matter; maybe she was not ready yet, and her demons still haunted her even though too much time has passed. "I haven't made up my mind whether to go or not. I told you, I ain't sure."

"Then you need to think about it." Lou nodded, flashing a forced smile, and Theresa rose to her feet. "I'll let you finish getting dressed, and I'd better start dinner."

Theresa waltzed out of the bedroom, and as the door clicked closed behind her, Lou let out a sigh, and in a very tiny voice, she whispered in the empty room. "Thank you."


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Good morning!" Louise said jovially as she sat down for breakfast. Her brother-in-law was already at the table, eating by himself, and after his polite greeting, Louise asked, "Where's your better half, Al?"

"At the doctor's," Albert replied, and surprised by his answer, Lou stopped pouring her coffee mid-way to look at him with a worried face. "No cause for concern," the young man added. "It's the same old story again, but with a twist. Your dear sister thinks we aren't parents yet because there's something wrong with her, so she woke up bright and early this morning and went to check out her suspicions with Dr. Hill."

Lou rolled her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with her! She's healthy, but a bit too eager. What she needs to do is relax."

"That's what I keep telling her," Albert agreed. "But I hope the doctor can ease her worries."

"You're both young, and children will start coming soon enough," Lou replied while she helped herself to some eggs from the skillet.

"I know," Albert replied.

Silence fell over the pair, and the clanking of the forks against the china plates could be heard in the room as they quietly ate their breakfast. Albert finished first, and after wiping his mouth, he directed his green eyes to Louise and said, "Theresa's told me that you've finally decided to go to Rock Creek."

"Yes, I'm taking the stage tomorrow," Lou replied. Reaching a decision had been her personal cross for weeks, and her feelings about this visit had fluctuated as much as sea tides. Some days she had woken up with the firm intention and reassurance that this trip was just what she needed to do, but on others she just found more than enough reasons to stay in Seneca. However, after swinging like a pendulum from one point to the other, she had finally made up her mind, and now there was no way back. She was going tomorrow… to the place that had been her home for years.

Albert repositioned his spectacles on his curved nose in perfect angle with his winged eyebrows, which he always did when his mind was mulling over something. His black hair harmoniously shaped his profile and features. He was a handsome man, always smart in any sense and with a ready smile to spare which hardly ever faded. "Uh… I'm not sure I like the idea of you traveling all alone," he finally said.

"Please Albert don't start."

"A single woman is easy prey for the countless despicable men this world is full of," Albert insisted.

Louise stopped for a second to look at him with a strange expression. Echoes from other times resounded in her head as just one of his words reverberated in her heart like an omen, and her heart felt for all her losses over the years. Her body shivered for a single second, but she composed herself almost straightaway before she spoke up again. "Albert, you know I can take care of myself. I already gave in, and I ain't riding for your sake."

"Thank God for that."

Lou narrowed her eyes in an unhappy expression as she glanced at her brother-in-law with a troubled expression. Albert was a good man, but sometimes he could try her nerves too much. It seemed as if the fact that he was married to Theresa granted him the moral right to tell Lou what was best for her. Of course it did not help that she was living under his roof, but circumstances had not allowed otherwise. Louise knew that being the only man in the family, Albert thought he was responsible for her wellbeing, and in a way Lou appreciated that, but not all the time. Years had given her some good temperance, and she now tended to keep her opinion to herself when Albert was in his paternalistic mood. So when he just turned around and left, she forgot about his warnings and did whatever she liked.

From the dining room they heard the front door open and close. The heavy steps that followed clearly told them about the mood the newcomer was in. Their guess was confirmed when Teresa walked into the room with resolute stripes and dropped onto a chair heavily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Something wrong, love?" Albert asked.

"Yes, Dr. Hill is an idiot!" Theresa exclaimed angrily.

"What happened, Tessie?" Lou questioned, resting her folded arms on the table.

"Nothing, and that's the main problem!" Theresa continued in the same tone. "That silly doctor says there's nothing wrong with me!"

"I already told you that," her husband said half-heartedly while his eyes were directed inside his briefcase as he checked his documents for the day. This was an old conversation, and he was so used to it that he could answer automatically without even listening to his wife's comments.

"Honey, I don't know why you're so upset," Lou remarked as she dragged her chair closer to her sister, and rested her hand on Theresa's shoulder affectionately.

"I asked him why I haven't conceived yet, and he started stammering like a fool, and just gave me a few vague explanations."

"If the doctor says everything's right, then why should you question him?" her husband said. "You won't expect to know more than him."

Theresa did not reply, but exchanged a knowing look with her sister. Albert then had a glimpse at the wall clock, and realized it was time for him to go. "Ladies, however much I enjoy the pleasure of your company, I have to leave now." He rose to his feet, carefully slid into his smart jacket, and picked up his briefcase. "See you later," he said and bent down to place a chaste kiss on his wife's cheek. "Have a good day."

The young man walked out of the room, and a few seconds later the two women heard the front door shut. It was only then that Theresa spoke up again. "Louise…"

Lou turned her gaze to her sister, and noticed a strange glimmer in her eyes. Knowing Theresa as well as she did, Louise could tell that her sister had a card up her sleeve, and she wondered what it was this time. "Yes?"

"Buck's gonna be in Rock Creek, isn't he?" Theresa started.

"I imagine so. Why?"

"I remember when Buck and Julia first got married, you know, when they still lived in Rock Creek. Back then they also had problems with, you know, like me, so they both started drinking some kind of tea that worked the miracle. Julia is pregnant with her sixth child, isn't she?"

"What? How on earth do you know that?" Lou exclaimed. She had never heard a word about Buck or Julia being worried about their chances to become parents. It was true that their first child had been born two years after their wedding, but that had not meant anything at the time.

"I was nothing but a child back then, and sometimes people tend to think that children are deaf or stupid. I'm sure I could tell you a few things from the apparently private conversations people had around me when I was just a tiny tot, including you." Lou chuckled, admitting her sister's words, and Theresa paused for a second and then added, "Louise, why don't you do me a favor and when you see Buck you ask him for some of that tea for me?"

"Wh… what? I … I can't do that!" Lou exclaimed, sounding as if her sister was asking her to commit an atrocious crime.

"Why not?"

"Because… because that information you heard was private, and if they didn't tell anybody, they must have had their reasons," Lou explained.

"Louise please. I'm desperate here," Theresa almost begged, squeezing her sister's hand between hers.

"Tessie, Dr. Hill says you're fine and healthy. There's nothing wrong with you. Please heed him for goodness's sake."

"But maybe there's something wrong with my husband, and you know, I won't be able to talk him into checking it out with the doctor," Theresa replied.

"And he won't drink any strange concoction either, Tessie."

"He doesn't need to know. A splash in his normal tea won't make a difference."

"Honey, I don't think that's correct," Louise said, and as her sister did not seem very convinced, the older woman added, "If you want that tea or whatever it is, ask them yourself. Mail works fine even though the Pony Express closed off long ago."

The comment did not sit well with Theresa. Letting go of Lou's hand as if it were a piece of junk, she crossed her arms and rose to her feet in a dignified pose. "Thanks for nothing," she said stiffly, her proud chin tilted upwards. "I just hope you will never need a favor from me because in that case you'll have to knock somewhere else."

Without another word Theresa walked out of the room with a gait that was close to mimicking the queen of England in the very least. Louise stayed in her seat, shaking her head. Her sister was a charming girl most of the time, but she could also be quite impossible when she did not have her way. Thankfully, her so-called tantrums did not last long, or at least Louise hoped this one did not. She did not want to leave tomorrow being at odds with her sister. It would make her trip worse than she already anticipated.

* * *

Louise was right in her predictions. The day had not crossed its equator when Theresa had already forgotten her anger, and was back to her usual self. The following day she and her husband accompanied Lou to the stagecoach deport. The women walked arm in arm along the main street while Albert followed them closely, carrying Lou's carpet bag.

The coach was already waiting for the passengers, and as the sight appeared before her eyes, an involuntary shiver ran Lou's body. "Are you nervous?" Theresa asked, noticing the expression on her sister's face.

"Very… and scared too. It's been so long."

"You'll be fine," Theresa assured.

"Yes, and I'm actually looking forward to seeing everybody," Lou admitted.

"Then let yourself enjoy the fun. Put the flood of negativity out of your head. Remember the good moments, and shush the bad memories."

"I'll try," Lou promised.

When they reached the carriage, Lou handed the driver her travel passage. The man asked for her luggage, and Albert handed over the bag, instructing him to place it carefully and in a safe place on the coach rack, which incidentally was almost empty.

While Albert and the driver were busy exchanging diatribes, Louise turned to her sister. "You know, I'll be back in a week."

"Make it longer if you're up to it," Theresa replied with a smile.

"I don't know. I feel bad already for leaving you alone with running the store."

"I'll be fine, Louise. Stop fretting!"

Louise blushed. Theresa was right; she was more nervous than she was even aware of. "Thanks, sweetie. You're a dear. I owe you one," Lou added sincerely.

Theresa discreetly had a look behind her back, and seeing her husband still bickering with the driver, she turned her attention back to her sister, and said in a low voice, "Then ask Buck you know what and we'll be even."

"Tessie, that again?"

"Please Louise. I won't ask you anything more… ever again."

Lou sighed tiredly. "I'll think about it, all right?"

"Thanks!" Theresa beamed happily, and even hugged her sister quickly.

"I haven't said I'm gonna do it."

"I know," Theresa replied, but her expression clearly implied she expected her sister to do what she had asked.

Minutes later Louise was inside the narrow, stuffy carriage. From the small window she waved Theresa and Albert goodbye just as the stagecoach set into motion. Her body sprawled limply back into the seat and her fingers frantically scratched up and down the leather upholstery. Apart from her, there were no other passengers, which was a real relief. Her eyes focused on the empty seat backrest opposite her, and once the sound of the horse hooves and the wheels rolling told her Rock Creek was closer and closer, she shut her eyes to calm her nerves. She would do what Theresa had said. Yes, she would. Forget her haunting memories, and focus on the present. That was it. Who said she couldn't do it?


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

A blush crept onto her cheeks and her heart started pounding when Louise recognized the familiar surroundings the stagecoach was rolling through. Poking her head out of the small window, the young woman focused all her senses on the beautiful scenery that whizzed past her eyes. She had ridden through this land so many times in her Pony Express days that she could identify everything, the vegetation, the smells, even the different feelings of the air caressing her skin.

Minutes later she spotted the first buildings in the distance, and she gulped, feeling her throat go dry. Above the indistinctive wooden buildings the local stables stood up proudly, and when the coach finally made its way into the town, she was welcomed by the jovial peal of the church bell where she had got married so many years ago. Even though she tried to block the memories, they came unleashed anyway.

"Rock Creek, ladies and gentlemen," the driver's rough voice announced as the stagecoach came to a standstill in Rock Creek's main street.

Few seconds later Louise got out of the vehicle after a middle-aged lady who had joined the coach half-way between Seneca and Rock Creek. As soon as her feet touched the dusty ground, her eyes instantly saw Rachel. "Louise!" the former station mistress squealed happily and ran to hug her friend. "It's so good to see you … so good."

"And I'm glad to be here," Lou replied with a smile when both women pulled away.

"Tell me, how are you?"

"Fine, I'm fine," answered Lou.

"And your sister?"

"She's good too, but sorry she couldn't come with me. You know, we couldn't _both_ be away and leave our shop unattended. Besides, Tessie just wouldn't go anywhere without her dear Albert. She's so attached to him that it's sickly."

Rachel giggled heartedly at Lou's comical expression. "She's just in love, Louise. It's natural."

Lou shrugged shoulders, trying to appear indifferent, but in truth, Rachel's casual comment stirred her already troubled waters. If every soul under the sun was in love, so what? She shouldn't care, it shouldn't hurt, but as a matter of fact, she cared, and it hurt like hell.

Looking around as a way to distract her mind, Louise remarked, "Rock Creek has hardly changed over the years."

"Actually, it's grown quite a lot," Rachel disagreed to her comment. "Bunches of new people have settled down around Rock Creek in the last years, but it's true that the town in itself looks practically the same."

Rachel noticed that Lou's eyes were staring at the last building of the street whose shutters on both stories were shut. "I took the liberty to clean it a few days ago. I wasn't sure if you'd want to stay there."

Louise did not reply, and kept her eyes glued on the building in the distance. That blue-boarded house had been her home after she had left her job at the Pony Express. So many dreams had filled those walls, but unfortunately, the spell had been broken too soon, and the magic had vanished. The years she had spent there had been too strange, and the house that had first been her lovely palace turned out to be her personal dungeon.

"I… I'd rather not," Lou replied awkwardly.

"No problem, honey. You can stay with us at home."

Minutes later the two women were crossing the yard that had been part of the Rock Creek way station years ago. Today it belonged to Rachel. The station mistress had used all her savings to buy the whole property from Russell, Majors and Waddel. Next to Sweetwater, this had been the home where she had started to live again after leading a dead existence when her husband had died. That was why Rachel had been ready to sell her own soul to keep the place as her own, and she was now its proud owner. Everything looked almost the same, but for some exceptions. The stables that had taken in so many horses in the past had decreased its size while her white-washed house had almost doubled its dimensions. Nothing else had changed, and even the bunkhouse stood unaltered, and when Rachel had guests visiting, they could stay there comfortably.

"Welcome home, Louise," Rachel said as she opened the door, and both women stepped inside. A tall, handsome man was sitting on the sofa, and stood up when he saw the two ladies enter. "Do you remember Allan?" Rachel asked her friend.

"Of course! How can I not remember your husband?" Lou exclaimed as if her friend had gone crazy, and stretched her arm to shake hands with the man. "How are you, Allan?"

"Good. It's nice to see you again, Louise."

Allan's words were instantly followed by a soft squeaky cry, which drew Lou's attention. Her eyes grew wide as she directed them to the bassinet next to the sofa Allan had been sitting on. A smile appeared on her lips as she exclaimed, "Oh Rachel. Is this…?"

"Yes, our Louise," Rachel confirmed, beaming proudly.

"She… she's beautiful," Lou breathed, watching the baby in awe. "Can… can I hold her?"

"Naturally," Allan replied, and Rachel quickly lifted her eight-month daughter from the cot and placed her in Lou's arms.

The baby squealed happily, staring with big green eyes at the new face watching her. "She's quite fussy with new people, but she seems to be charmed with her namesake," Allan commented.

"You should've been her godmother," Rachel added in a slightly critical tone. "We would really have liked to have had you at her christening."

"I know," Louise whispered, gazing at the baby adoringly, and regretting what her friend had reminded her. Rachel had been asking over and over to be her baby's godmother for months, but Lou had always declined the invitation and request, stating she still felt unable to go back to Rock Creek. Rachel had finally convinced herself that there was nothing she could do, and picked one of her friends to fill the place she wanted for Lou. "I'm sure Anna Mallory is perfect for this beauty. She lives close by, and I'm too far to make a good godmother."

Rachel shook her head in obvious disagreement. It wasn't that Anna was not great; Lou's excuse was just too lame. The former station mistress did not intend to question Lou's words because she had learned long ago that it was impossible to reason with Louise when she had made up her mind about something.

The front door opened and a gruff voice interrupted the moment between the two women. "Where's my girl then?"

"Teaspoon…" Lou breathed, her mouth stretching into a wide, natural smile. Rachel took the baby back, and Louise ran to the old marshal's open arms. "I'm so happy to see you."

"Yes, me too. And you look beautiful," the man added, gently holding her at arms' length to have a good view of the woman who was almost a daughter to him.

"At least much better than the last time you saw me," Lou muttered sadly.

Teaspoon exchanged a tense look with Rachel and Allan before he dared to ask, "How are you holding up, sweetheart?"

Lou sank down on one of the sofas as if all of a sudden she realized how heavy her soul actually was. "I guess I'm better," she said in a soft voice. "It's been a horrible year, totally horrendous."

Teaspoon sat down next to her, and stroked her arm affectionately. "The sheriff didn't find out anything else, did he?"

Lou shook her head morosely. "Miah had many faults, but he was a decent, young man. He didn't get into brawls, and I never saw him carry knives with him. I refuse to believe that his death was the result of a fight he provoked." Lou sighed to control the tears threatening to spill. "He was killed in such a hideous way… his chest was almost completely pierced from all the stabs he received. My brother didn't deserve that death, and his murderer shouldn't get away with it."

"I agree," Teaspoon replied.

"I think the sheriff's stopped looking for the bastard who did that to him," Louise added between gritted teeth. Another sigh escaped her lips, and then she said, "I'm still too shaken even though almost a year has slipped by. Maybe this time here will help soothe my nerves, clear my mind, and shush those ghosts away."

"We were so pleased when you wrote you were coming," Rachel replied. "It wasn't so difficult, was it?"

Lou shook her head. "I fled to Seneca because I couldn't face what was missing in this place, and now I come all the way here to escape my home. I'm hopeless."

"Not worse than most people," Allan replied.

"And you know what I always say. What is family for if not to cushion our painful behinds after a fall?"

Lou could not help but giggle at the marshal's words. Teaspoon had the knack to cheer her up in the most horrible moments even though his powers had failed when he had been at Jeremiah's funeral. In any case, she was actually happy to be surrounded by her family again. In Seneca she was not alone either, but things were different. Theresa had her husband, and from time to time Louise felt as if she were an outsider in their small, perfect family of two.

"So when's everybody expected to arrive?" Lou asked eager to change the subject into more pleasant thoughts.

"Buck and Julia will be here sometime tomorrow morning, and Cody sent us a telegram to welcome him with all the honors in the afternoon," Rachel informed her.

Louise shook her head with a smile. "Same old Cody. Nobody else is coming then?"

"Well, Emma's son was poorly, and she might travel depending on how he gets on. So we are not sure if she'll show up. And apart from her, we haven't got word from anybody else."

"I see," Louise replied thoughtfully.

"I wish everybody could be here," Teaspoon added in an evocative voice. "Then it'd feel like old times."

"It could never be like old times, Teaspoon," Lou stated with a strange choking voice. "Too many are missing forever, and our wounds will never be healed."

"You're right, honey," the marshal admitted, patting her knee, and an unexpectedly thick, tense silence fell over all of them like a bad omen, a terrifying prophecy, which was only broken by the baby, burbling happily in her mama's arms.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Hmm, that smells divine," Lou said as she made her way down the last flight of stairs. After unpacking her few things, she had taken a much-needed nap. The trip on the stagecoach had left her exhausted, and after a couple of hours' sleep she felt refreshed and full of new energy. "I really miss your cooking, Rachel," she added as she finally reached the end of the staircase and crossed over to the kitchen.

"Thanks, darling," the blonde woman replied with a smile.

Louise approached her friend who was feeding her baby some vegetable purée, and stood watching the magical moment between mother and daughter. "There's little left of the baby in the photograph you sent me."

"She's almost eight months now."

"Not so much a baby anymore, is she?" Lou remarked, and Rachel shook her head, suddenly assaulted by some strange sadness and longing for the baby her daughter had been and would never be again. "Theresa wants to have a baby," Louise continued, "and I wish that too. A child in our very silent house would make a whole lot of difference."

"Yes, you're right there. A child changes everything."

"So since 'I' can't have babies, she…" Lou muttered.

"Lou! Sure you can!" Rachel exclaimed, stopping the spoon midway in the air. Baby Louise had her mouth open, eagerly expecting the next spoonful of food, but, when her much desired purée did not come, she started to fuss in protest. Rachel then resumed the feeding while saying, "Lou, you're young, and life is long. Look at me, for example. I thought I'd never become a mama, and then I was proved wrong."

"You sound like my sister," Louise replied.

"She thinks that what I need is for a man to sweep me off my feet, and then all my other problems will be over."

"It's true you need to sort out your love life," Rachel added. "Maybe Theresa is right."

"Prince Charming won't knock at my door, that's for sure," Louise replied in a mocking way.

As luck would have it, a few knocks came from the front door. Rachel lifted her eyes to check the time on her wall clock, and said, "Who could that be at this time? Allan is at the stables, but he won't knock."

"Let me get it," Lou offered, and before walking out of the kitchen, she stopped. "Who knows? Maybe it's my Prince Charming," Lou joked, batting her eyelashes comically.

Rachel's giggles resounded behind Lou as she resolutely marched into the hall. With a powerful yank she opened the front door, and almost instantly her smile froze, and a face of apprehension and even shock appeared instead. Her big eyes almost popped out, staring at the person in front of her, and her whole body seemed to have turned into hard stone all of a sudden.

"Hello, Lou."

The voice managed to snap her out of her torpor she had momentarily fallen in. Very aware of her surroundings, Louise let out a simple grunt and whipped around. In three heavy, angry strides she returned to the kitchen as if she was running away from the devil. "You have a visitor," Lou announced in a harsh tone, and sank down on a chair.

Rachel frowned questioningly, but Lou never even saw her expression since she was staring blankly ahead, her chin resting on her flexed arms on top of the table. The former station mistress wiped her daughter's mouth with her bib, and untied it from around her neck. "Keep an eye on Louise, Lou."

The young woman nodded, and Rachel walked to the front door. Her feet stopped dead for a second in surprise when she finally spotted her visitor at the threshold of her door. "Kid…" she exhaled, her tone leaving no doubts about her frame of mind.

"I'm sorry to show up unannounced," he apologized sheepishly. "I wasn't sure if I could make it until the last minute."

Rachel took a few steps closer, and said, "You don't need to apologize." With Kid here things would turn out to be quite interesting, to say the least. The two of them had not seen each other since Kid had returned from war and Rachel could guess the encounter would not be a bed of roses. "Please come in. You're staying for dinner, ain't you?"

"I… I don't want to cause any inconvenience with… with your guest," Kid replied morosely, realizing that he had chosen the worst possible moment to turn up. Lou's reaction just now told him that she had not changed, and her opinion remained the same.

"Nonsense!" Rachel exclaimed, flapping her hand in a disregarding manner. "You won't walk out on me now. You'll stay, and I won't have no for an answer." Despite her words, the former station mistress knew that dinner would be a hard bite to chew because Louise was clearly in the same strange mood that she knew so well. That was the reason why Rachel almost jumped in relief when she saw Teaspoon coming up to the house after dropping by the jailhouse for a while. Rachel just felt unable to endure a night with the pair all alone, and the marshal appeared as if he were her savior.

As expected, the marshal welcomed Kid warmly, and after joining in a hug, the two men followed Rachel, who had returned to the house already. The Southerner could not help but chuckle when Teaspoon let out one of his very particular quips. Yet, once he walked into the house, his mirth died as soon as he noticed Lou and her very stiff, hostile pose. She was sitting on a sofa in the living room, her arms crossed over her chest, her firey eyes shining provocatively, and her mouth pursed into a scowl.

Kid's feet halted, and remained rooted on the spot. Like he had told Rachel, he had been unable to make up his mind whether to come to Rock Creek until the last minute. In his last visit ten days ago Jimmy had told him that Lou would probably join the celebration. That had initially put him off because he could guess what would happen between him and Lou. On the other hand, the idea of seeing her pushed him. It was high time they saw each other and talked for once and all, instead of playing hide and seek as they had done until now. So this latter argument had won him over, and here he was.

Lou's initial reaction to his presence, though expected, did not augur well. This was actually the first time he was in the same room, under the same roof as her in too many years, and all he wanted to do right now was to run away. Lou's silence and icy demeanor made him feel too small and inadequate, and he wished he could vanish into thin air because that was not far from the reality he lived in himself.

A gurgle nearby drew his attention away from his thoughts and the upset women. As his blue eyes fell on the baby in Rachel's arms, his mouth stretched into a smile which lit his features. "Rachel, this young lady has grown up so much since I last saw her. It's amazing."

Her mother nodded with a proud smile. Without uttering a word, Kid made a request, and Rachel granted her permission, so the young man took the baby from her mother. The woman excused herself to finish dinner, and Teaspoon volunteered to give her a hand, leaving the two former riders alone in the sole company of the baby as a chaperone.

Kid took a seat on the sofa across from Louise, resting the baby on his lap. From her sitting position, Lou watched him with narrow eyes. Kid kept talking sweet-nothings to the toddler, cooing and even playing with her, and the child giggled in the natural, beautiful way only children are capable of. As Louise kept eyeing them, she felt moved and angered at the same time. The image of Kid and the baby was beautiful and touching, but it also stirred too much indignation and regret in her heart. This man before her very eyes had stolen her chance to be a woman and a mother, and have a real family. What the hell was he doing now? What was this intentional display of his charms with the baby? Was he just gloating over her misery, her loneliness?

Lou breathed in to control her soaring fury that escalated by the minute. She was seething, and totally jealous. Yes, jealous. Kid had known Baby Louise before she had the chance to do so, and apparently he had visited Rock Creek whenever he liked while she lived in exile. It was so unfair! She had chosen that voluntary exile, but even so, it was not fair!

Her eyes did not move away from him, but if he noticed, he did not let on since his attention was totally focused on the giggling baby on his lap. Lou was surprised by how well he handled the child, and as the thought entered her mind, she was assaulted by another idea. Maybe Kid was a father himself, and that was why he looked so natural with Baby Louise. Rachel had not said a word to her, but in fact, they never talked about Kid as Lou tried to avoid mentioning him at all costs. In any case, if that was true, it shouldn't surprise her, and she shouldn't care if he had got one of his lovers pregnant. What should she expect from someone like him? Yet, deep down she knew she did care, and the idea clearly upset her more than she was ready to admit.

Almost reading her thoughts, Teaspoon stepped back into the living room and answered her curiosity. "Kid, if you like children that much, you should consider fatherhood," the marshal remarked pointedly. He knew that his words touched a raw nerve, but he was actually provoking some kind of reaction.

Kid's eyes automatically darted to Louise. She blushed at being caught eyeing him, and averted her gaze immediately. "Uh… maybe one day," Kid muttered awkwardly.

"In the meantime let's fill our bellies. The lady of the house says dinner's ready."

Lou quickly scurried away to help set the table, unable to sit still any longer, and foreseeing a torturous, long meal ahead. Minutes later they were sitting and enjoying Rachel's cooking. Lou had chosen the seat farthest from where Kid sat, and kept her eyes fixed on her plate. Even though she could not see him, she still could feel his uncomfortable presence. This was what she had dreaded when she had considered whether to come to Rock Creek, and now the experience was proving to be worse than in her imagination. Her appetite was gone, and she simply kept toying with the fork, moving the food in her plate to and fro.

Her attitude was evident to everyone, and even though tense looks were passed, nobody said a word about it. "So, Kid, how are things going?" asked Allan, who had joined them for dinner, and was brave enough to break the ice.

"Slow but steady," replied the Southerner. "The place looks better than when you were there, but it's still nothing much. These years working for Mr. Granger have helped me a lot, and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have dared to embark on this adventure."

Although Lou kept her eyes downcast, her curiosity instantly perked up, wondering what Kid was talking about. She had no idea what he had been doing in the years after the war, because she had not wanted to know or even think about him.

"If someone can do it, it's you," Rachel said encouragingly.

"Few people know more about horses than ya," Teaspoon added.

"It's hard work, but I hope it'll eventually pay off," Kid replay. "Having my own ranch was always my dream, and…" His voice faltered, and he did not dare to say that the dream was dented because a part of that dream was missing. Kid's eyes glimpsed at Lou, and he let out a silent sigh.

Louise almost cringed when she heard him talk about him having his own ranch. When they had first got married, they had talked at length that one day they would own a nice piece of land and raise horses. The plan was to save enough for a couple of years, and then do it. Yet, he had ruined everything when he decided she did not count in those plans.

Strangely she could feel his gaze on her, so Lou dared to slightly lift her eyes that stumbled upon his. Almost as if looking at each other burned their skin, they both glanced away simultaneously. The conversation then moved onto other topics, especially about the celebration that was to take place in the following days. Apparently, Tompkins had organized some kind of competition in which the former Pony Express riders had to test their abilities against anybody from town who was ready to enter the challenge. It seemed that the local people were eager to join and prove their abilities against Buffalo Bill and Wild Bill Hickok. Even though Jimmy, who was supposedly on his way back after delivering a prisoner, was nothing but another deputy in town, his reputation had not diminished over the years, and was a magnet for badly-reputed men.

Louise did not say a word over the whole conversation, and Kid kept his words to the minimum. When Rachel was about to serve her lusted-after apple cake, the Southerner declined politely. He could not stay longer than necessary, and it was clear that his presence was making everybody uncomfortable. Lou couldn't wait for him to go, and once he would, the others would also feel a clear sense of relief.

"You're leaving already?" Rachel asked in a shrill, unhappy tone.

"I'm… I'm tired," Kid excused himself. "I've been riding all the way. I ain't so young anymore, nor am I used to riding so much."

"Where are you staying?" asked Allan.

"I still need to get myself a room at the hotel."

"I wish you could stay in the bunkhouse like you've done other times," Rachel stepped in, "but we have prepared it for Buck, Julia, and the children, and they are quite a troupe."

"It's fine, Rachel." Kid replied.

Then to everybody's surprise, Teaspoon suggested something. "Why don't ya stay at your place these days?"

For almost the first time during the whole night Louise lifted her eyes, and stared at the marshal as if he had lost his marbles. "Teaspoon!"

"What? That house is also his, ain't it?" the old marshal started, looking into the young woman's eyes purposefully. "Or are you plannin' on sleepin' there yourself?"

"No, but…"

"But what?" Teaspoon urged her. Lou's strident silence all through dinner had peeved him too much because her attitude was beyond reason. She had no right to stay angry in that childish way after so many years. Maybe his suggestion was too blunt a provocation, but at least it had pushed her to talk for the first time that night.

Before Lou could reply, the Southerner broke off. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"You too, Kid?" Teaspoon added in an impatient tone. "That house's been closed and unused for too long. Don't tell me you'd be more comfortable in a small hotel room than in your own place?" Kid hesitated, and the marshal turned to the young woman. "Say somethin', Lou."

"I have no objections," she replied surprisingly. "If he can claim he has a clean conscience, then I have nothing to say against it."

"Lou! For goodness' sake!" Rachel exclaimed.

Louise proudly held his hard eyes to him, and it was Kid who finally broke her provoking gaze. "Rachel, thanks for dinner. I better get going. With a bit of luck there'll still be rooms left and I won't have to sleep under the stars."

"Hold on, son. "I'll walk with you to town. I need to stop by the jailhouse and check on my deputies."

Kid politely bid goodbye to Rachel and her husband, and without sparing a single look in Lou's direction, he and Teaspoon left, closing the door behind. The sound reverberated in the room for a few seconds, and Lou still held her head high and proud.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The sound of the door closing had just faded when Louise turned to Rachel. "He has some nerve!" she exclaimed. "He comes here, looking all innocent, and he even dared to consider taking over _my_ house and sleeping in _my_ bed!"

Rachel sent Lou a look that spoke louder than words. It was clear that the former station mistress did not appreciate her friend's comment, and could not refrain herself from saying, "Please Lou, don't start!"

Sensing that things could get tense between the two women, Allan decided that he did not want to get caught in the crossfire. "Ladies, if you'll excuse me, I better check if my sweet girl is sleeping."

Allan started off for the staircase, and without a word Rachel rose to her feet, picked up the platter with the intact apple pie, and in her other hand she collected the clean dessert plates. Lou also got up and helped clear the table before following her friend into the kitchen.

The blonde woman placed a lid covering the pie when Louise stopped next to her. "What was that before, Rachel?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? I tried to talk to you, and you brushed me off."

Rachel sighed, "Lou, you know you can talk to me about anything. What did you want to tell me?"

"Nothing," Lou replied stiffly.

"Very well then," Rachel said, relieved that Louise did not push the matter any more.

Minutes later both women were washing the dishes in silence. While Rachel lathered the plates, pots, and cutlery, Louise rinsed everything before leaving it to dry. Rachel welcomed the peace and quiet. Dinner had been a very uncomfortable event, and she knew her mouth could not stay on the sidelines while Louise expressed her categorical opinions about Kid. Her relief, though, did not last long because Lou spoke up too soon.

"He must have a little friend on the side."

"Who?" Rachel asked, playing dumb even though she was pretty sure who Louise was referring to.

"Kid. That must be why he was in such a hurry to leave. His lover must have been waiting for him somewhere."

"I really don't know," Rachel replied indifferently, hoping that her friend dropped the matter.

"I do," Lou stated. "Didn't you see him? He looked impeccable, smooth shaven, his clothes spotless and without a single crease. That's because he has a woman. And I ain't really surprised he has lovers, but he has no right to even think about taking that woman into my house and my bed."

"For goodness' sake, Lou!" Rachel exclaimed, unable to turn a deaf ear to her comments. "You make him sound as if he were the biggest womanizer in history. You don't know if that's true."

"Men are too predictable, Rachel."

"I don't really know where you get all those ideas from. I have no idea if there's a woman in his life, but what if there is one? What is it to you? Why do you care?"

Lou left the plate she was rinsing heavily on top of the counter, and turned to Rachel. "Because no matter the circumstances he's still my husband! He should respect the vows we took!"

"Louise, you haven't lived as husband and wife for ten years!"

"That doesn't matter!" Lou retorted in a gradually increasing tone. "The law says I'm his wife, and as long as that remains the same, he owes me respect."

"And do you respect him?" Rachel asked pointedly. "Do you respect those vows you talk so much about? For the better or the worse, Lou. Did you stick by his side when the worse appeared unannounced? I seem to recall you stopped being his wife at that very moment."

"And whose fault was it, Rachel? He abandoned me three months after our wedding when he'd promised we'd stay together forever!"

Rachel had heard the same speech dozens of times, and it had always been impossible for her to reason with Louise in this field. The sensible thing would be to keep quiet, and stay put, but Rachel felt unable to hold her tongue today. "He didn't _abandon_ you. He went to war to defend what he believed in. He didn't run on you, Louise. When are you gonna understand that?"

Rachel's tone and words did not sit well with Lou. Her face hardened and she sent a glare at her friend while folding her arms over her chest. "I see where your heart lies, Rachel. You had me fooled. I'd never thought you'd take his side."

The former station mistress pressed two fingers on her forehead as she started to feel the beginning of a headache. "I ain't taking sides, but I don't understand you. I really don't."

It was true. Rachel did not really comprehend what was in Lou's head and in her heart. Somehow the blonde woman could go as far as feel Louise's disappointment, bitterness, and anger when Kid decided to join the raging conflict dividing the country, but other than that, the way she had acted afterwards was beyond Rachel's grasp.

The blonde woman could remember as if it were yesterday when Lou had received that terrible letter announcing that Kid was missing, and in all probability dead. Lou had almost gone out of her mind with pain, crying and bawling like a small baby for weeks, and the tears had given way to a deeper pain in the following months. She had neglected herself in every way, not caring whether she ate, drank, or slept. She hardly talked, and left her bedroom just enough to go to the telegraph office where she worked at the time or to clean the house. Everybody had been very worried about her, but Lou just wouldn't talk, suffering her pain in solitude.

Eight months later another letter had arrived, bringing the best news. Kid was alive. It turned out that he had been kept captive in a working camp, and the confederate army had freed him thanks to an exchange of prisoners between the north and the south. Kid himself had written that letter, and the day Lou had received it, she had almost ran Rock Creek up and down, to and fro, shouting from the top of her lungs that Kid was alive. Then at the end of the war when he had returned home from the east, against all odds Lou had sent him packing, and her bulletproof determination had been impossible to knock down.

"He made me suffer too much, and took with him all my dreams of love, happiness, and family," Louise muttered in a husky voice.

"I… I know, but if I may be frank, you also brought some of that suffering upon yourself."

Lou could not believe her ears. "What?"

"Things could have been easier, Louise," Rachel added. "If you had given in just a little…"

"A little? How could you say that? You were there; you saw what I went through! How could you not understand?" Lou barked angrily.

"Honey, I love you very much, and if I tell you this, it is for your own good because I don't like what you've been doing to yourself all these years," Rachel said, rubbing her hand over Lou's tense shoulder. "Your problem is that you've always demanded too much from Kid, just as much as you demand from yourself. We all err and make mistakes, even you and Kid, but it's as if you expected him to be perfect, as if he could not fail."

"That ain't true!" Lou exclaimed, tears springing up to her eyes.

"You should admit it, honey," Rachel said as softly as possible, and she noticed Lou's face adopt all kinds of expression as her mind seemed to consider what Rachel had said. Tears poured from her eyes, and trickled down her cheeks. "Louise, I ain't saying you were bad for him. In fact, you made a beautiful couple, and you were great together. It's just a shame you couldn't work out your problems. No problem is too big to overcome if there's love."

Those last words managed to take Lou to the edge. Roughly she swatted Rachel's hand off her shoulder, and after wiping her tears with the back of her sleeve, she barked angrily, "Get this clear, Rachel Dunne Collins. First, I loved Kid very much, more than what everybody can even imagine."

"Lou, I didn't mean…"

Louise did not let the woman speak, and flashing two fingers in a V shape, she continued in the same tone, "And secondly, he ruined our marriage, nobody else, understand?"

"Louise…"

"Leave me alone!" Lou roared, and sprinted out of the kitchen as fast as her legs could. Tears cascaded her eyes, almost blinding her, and she shot up the stairs. Once in the bedroom, she dropped heavily onto the bed, and buried her face on the pillow.

Her tears became sobs, which she tried to muffle, pressing the material of the quilt against her mouth, but she did not try to stop. She needed to cry and let her pain out. She was feeling very miserable, lonely, and totally worthless, and not because Rachel had offended or treated her wrong, but because everything she had said was true.

Her life was a mess, and she had not had the courage to fix it the way she should long ago. Her pride had got in the way, and now her panorama looked like an arid desert, and it was too late. The flowers had died, and her poor water can would not be enough to turn her dry land into the lush fields that they had been once. Everything was lost, but her pride still rebelled against her weak will, and she could not even accept her defeat. Poor, stupid soul.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next morning Lou woke up, feeling tired and suffering a splitting headache. She was not sure how long she had cried her eyes out last night, but it felt like it had been hours before she had fallen asleep. Her sleep, though, had been plagued by terrible nightmares, and she had kept waking up every other hour. It had been a very long night, and right now she wanted to bury herself under the sheets. She definitely was not looking forward to this new day.

After staring blankly at the ceiling above her for a while, Lou finally dragged her exhausted body out of bed. With slow motions she got out of her clothes, which were all creased after sleeping in them all night long. Taking the first blouse and skirt out of the wardrobe, she slipped into them, and as she did so, she wondered if she should start packing her things and go.

The day before had been absolutely detestable. Facing Kid after six years had been a total ordeal, and the humungous fight she had with Rachel afterwards had not made her feel much better. Could she stand more of this in the following days? She did not think so. Today the rest of her friends would arrive, and they would all pass judgment on her just like Rachel had done last night. They would come with their curiosity, their questions, their comments, and their advice, and she did not need any of that. And on top of it all, it was Kid. He was the last person she wanted to see again. This was too much for her, and she was not strong enough.

When she had finished getting dressed, she left the bedroom, and made her way downstairs. Her steps alerted Rachel, who stood at the foot of the stairs waiting.

"Morning," Lou let out in a grunt as she reached the last step.

"Good morning. Would you like some breakfast?" Rachel asked in a tone that did not show any of the acrimony from the previous night. Before Lou could answer to her offer, she added, "You must be very hungry. You hardly had a bite last night."

Louise shrugged her shoulders, and sat at the table. Rachel poured some coffee for her, and as she proceeded to serve some scrambled eggs, she said, "Lou, I need to apologize for what happened between us. I overstepped my boundaries, and I shouldn't have said what I did. It wasn't my place."

"You just said what you thought," Lou replied stiffly.

"I didn't want to upset you, Louise," Rachel continued, sitting on a chair next to the younger woman. "Like I said yesterday, I'm very fond of you, and all I want is your happiness. Please forgive me for making you feel bad."

"There's no reason to apologize. I ain't angry with you."

"Then we're fine?" Rachel asked with a smile, squeezing Lou's hand affectionately.

Louise nodded, but her stiff disposition remained. "I'm going back home today," she suddenly blurted out.

"Lou!" Rachel exclaimed in disappointment and shock.

"I'll get myself a mount, and ride off as soon as I can," she continued, and turning her eyes to Rachel, her expression softened. "It ain't because of you, Rachel. I thought I could handle Kid better, but I can't… I really can't. You saw that with your own eyes."

"Please Lou, reconsider it," Rachel almost begged. "It's natural to feel uncomfortable around him because you haven't seen each other for so long. What you have to do is learn how to stay in the same room as him without feeling crowded. I'm sure you can do it. You and Kid were best friends once. Is the past so terrible that you can't even find a middle ground and be civil to each other?"

"I… I don't know," Lou replied honestly.

At that very moment the door opened and Teaspoon walked in. "Look who I've stumbled upon this morning, honey."

Behind him appeared Jimmy. Despite her current mood, a natural smile came to her lips as she rose and welcomed her good friend with a warm hug. "It's so good to have you here," Hickok said once they were comfortably settled around the table and enjoying Rachel's hot coffee. "This town hasn't been the same since you left."

"Jimmy's right. Hear him out, Lou," Teaspoon added.

Lou sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "Life often pushes us in other directions even though we might not want."

"The good thing is that you're here, and we're gonna have some great good days. It's gonna be almost like old times."

At Jimmy's comment Lou bit her lower lip and shared a knowing look with Rachel. She had decided to leave Rock Creek today, but seeing Jimmy's enthusiasm, she was not sure how to break the news.

"Anything wrong?"

Lou sighed again, and just as she was ready to inform him about her intentions, the words that came out of her mouth were quite different. "No, nothing. You're right. It's gonna be fun."

At her words Rachel smiled, and strangely Louise also felt relieved but at the same time she dreaded what was to come: a whole week ignoring Kid and what he brought about in her. He was going to be a constant reminder of what she was, of what she lacked, and in particular he was going to make her very aware of all her failures. It was going to be too hard, but she told herself that she would do her best to ignore him, as if he did not exist.

The day progressed hour by hour. Around midday Buck showed up with his troupe like Rachel called them. The five boys aged between seven and two years old had such enthusiasm and energy that they were impossible to control. Julia Cross, Buck's wife, in her sixth month of her pregnancy, kept complaining that the trip to Rock Creek had proved her nerves too much, and this would be the last time she would travel anywhere with her litter, an oath nobody took seriously because it was not the first time she had voiced the same.

The boys choosing the bunks on which they would sleep tonight was a ruckus event as each of them demanded loudly to have a top bunk, but of course there were not enough for everyone. With a great dose of patience Buck managed to reach a compromise with his sons, and surprisingly there were no more complaints or fussy whines.

Lou had not seen Buck and Julia since they had boy number three, Hieronymus, and she was genuinely impressed and amused by the family's dynamics. As an uninvolved spectator, Lou was curious, and also glad that Buck had such a lovely family. He was a good man, and after the flawed childhood and early youth he had, it was comforting to see he had found happiness. Naturally, raising a big family would not be easy, but just the shine in Buck's eyes told Lou that he was a proud and happy father and husband.

The hours rolled on slowly, and despite the distraction that Buck's boys provided her, Lou felt unable to steer her thoughts away from the place it had stayed all day long. It was the middle of the afternoon, and Kid had not shown up. Even though his absence should be a relief, it was proving to have the opposite effect. Lou had been expecting him to appear at any moment, but when he did not, she kept wondering where he was. Maybe after last night he had resolved to leave like she had intended that morning. Or perhaps he was actually spending time with the woman Lou imagined he could have. Even though she had never heard anything about him taking a mistress, that did not mean he did not have one. Even after all these years, Lou had to admit he was a very attractive man, and who couldn't say he and that likely woman were not living like husband and wife, and claiming they were married to the rest of the world. Of course Kid could not show up with her at the station, so if she was in Rock Creek, they must be somewhere else spending time together.

Louise did not dare to ask anybody about Kid. She did not want to initiate another argument with Rachel, and asking the others would be too awkward. Nobody mentioned him at all, and Lou wondered if everybody knew and were hiding Kid's adulterous affair from her. As time went by, Lou was starting to feel more than irritated. The idea that all of them were aware that Kid was making her a cuckold and flaunting that woman behind her back was pushing her to the edge, and if somebody told her anything right now, she was ready to explode.

When Cody and his family arrived later in the day, Lou had to make an almost supernatural effort to bite her tongue. Cody had not changed and tended to make his usual mocking comments. Lou had to control herself because this was not the moment to fly off the handle. At some point she even realized she had a terrible urge to cry. Even surrounded by her dear friends, she felt very lonely, as she mused that everybody had someone to love, someone to spoil, even Jimmy who told her in detail about the lovely lady he was courting.

Almost at dinner time Kid turned up alone, and he explained he had been busy all day, closing a business deal with one of the locals. Lou was so furious by then that she could not keep quiet. "Is that the new excuse now?" she remarked ironically. At once all eyes, including Kid's, were on her, wondering what she meant. Yet, nobody asked him or said anything, and she did not bother to offer an explanation.

Lou cursed herself as all her initial intentions had crushed down too soon. She wanted to ignore Kid, and even though she tried to avoid looking at him, she was fully aware of his presence. In fact, she was doing just what she had failed to do, that is, ignoring her completely. Not once had he looked her way, and he had even walked to the other side of the room when she had happened to be too close.

His attitude managed to irritate her even more. This was not the Kid she thought she knew. Louise was used to having him fuss over, idolize, and almost worship her in every way. The last time she had seen him, Kid had almost begged her on his knees for forgiveness and her love. Now his indifference baffled and annoyed her, and as her suspicions that there was another woman seemed to be confirmed by his attitude, she felt like crying. Even her own reactions infuriated her, and she wanted to kick herself hard. Kid meant nothing to her, and the moment he had decided to walk through life without her, she should have stopped the useless feelings in her heart. She had to be as indifferent as he was, because the truth was that Kid was nothing to her, just a name next to her on a paper, nothing else.

Once dinner was over and the children tucked up in bed, conversation moved onto the celebration that would start the following day. Nobody had missed the lively atmosphere in town, the banners and flags embellishing the buildings, and the welcoming warmth of the locals. Tompkins had really outdone himself with the arrangements, and everybody commented on that. Tomorrow the games would start, which included target practice, lasso handling, and of course horse riding.

"Boys, don't be disappointed when I receive the trophy from lovely Miss Jenny Tompkins," Cody said in his usual flamboyant way. Jimmy rolled his eyes, causing the rest to laugh, but Cody could not be put off by their usual mock. "You should all admit you ain't so young anymore and have lost your abilities. I'm still in pretty good shape, actually I feel better than I used to be. My daily activities require great strength, courage, and top physical qualities, so I'm hard competition."

"Cody, will you cut the speech for once?" Buck added. "If your entire ego actually took up space, your head would have burst long ago."

Like in old times Cody was once again the butt of jokes and witty remarks, but even though he protested, he secretly enjoyed this bickering, and even ended up joining the laughter. His eyes then fell on Louise, who tonight was not as cheerful as she used to be, something which everybody pretended not to notice since they all knew the reason. "What about you, Lou?"

"What about me?" Louise asked, confused by Cody's question.

"Are you gonna take part in this thing?" Cody clarified.

"Why shouldn't she?" Jimmy stepped in. "She's still one of us."

"I ain't saying she shouldn't, but circumstances are different now," Cody replied. "You know as well as I do how competitive and foul-players we men are, and if these local men get to know Lou's going to enter the competition, they are going all out against her."

Lou made a face, not liking Cody's opinion, but in fact, she had never had any intentions to join the silly contest Tompkins had made up. She did not care what Cody's big mouth would say. The last thing she wanted to do was join a bunch of males trying to prove their manhood in the most ridiculous way. Maybe in the old times for reasons that did not exist today, competing against the men would have been a question of honor for her, but now things were different, and what was vital back then had lost its importance.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Kid, and his body language clearly expressed that he agreed with Cody. Annoyance filled her soul, but she still did not try to say anything. She did not have to prove herself to anybody, not any more.

"Nobody needs to know Lou's in," Rachel spoke up.

Everybody looked at the woman wonderingly, and Lou also voiced a 'what?'

"I still have your male clothes in my trunk. You deceived people once, why couldn't you do it again? Most people are new in town, and the old ones don't even remember any of you."

Lou knew that what Rachel was suggesting was not possible. Even though she was still as thin as she was ten years ago, her body had changed in ways that might not be too evident, and her hair was too long now to prove she was anything but a woman.

"That's impossible," a soft voice reached her ears. When she realized it was Kid, her face flamed and her hot blood started bubbling in her veins. There him again doubting her worth, and undermining her value. Who did he think he was?

Very slowly Louise turned her glaring eyes to him, and said, "I can do it. And nobody has a right to stick their noses into my matters, especially you."

With a simple gesture Lou motioned Rachel to follow and help her find those clothes. Kid would have to eat humble pie because she would show him differently, and tomorrow she would be in that stupid competition with all the men.

Unfortunately, Lou did not hear Kid's next comment, or she would have to rethink what she was foolishly going to do. "She now looks too much like a woman. No clothes can hide that." The others did not know whether to agree or keep quiet. Nobody had missed the cold, silent war between Lou and Kid, especially from her side, and all of them knew a word in one or another direction would push them into hot water.

Meanwhile, Lou and Rachel reached the loft where the former station mistress had a trunk with some old mementos. Rachel unlocked the chest and lifted the lid. "Are you sure you want to do this?" the former station mistress asked while Lou was rummaging among the numerous objects.

At the question Louise stopped and looked at her friend with a frown. "This was your idea, Rachel," Lou reminded her.

"Yes, but not as a way to sharpen your claws against Kid."

Lou shrugged, and continued rummaging until she found some of her old things: her brown pants, a couple of shirts, her vest, and hat. "I need to see if they still fit," Lou said.

Rachel nodded, and the two women came down from the loft, and walked into Rachel's bedroom. Lou stripped down to her underwear, which was not appropriate for the attire she was about to try on, but all her worn-out long johns had become dusters long ago.

Lou quickly put on the clothes, and had a look at herself in the mirror. Rachel stood next to her, also studying the reflection. Louise scrunched her nose. The clothes look fine on her, even though the pants were a bit taut on her hips and the shirt strained against her chest. "Something ain't right," Lou whispered thoughtfully.

"Put the hat on," Rachel suggested.

Lou did as her friend told her, but her long braid was still visible, so Rachel helped her hide her hair under the crown of her hat. "It still doesn't seem right," Lou remarked. "I wish I had my spectacles."

Rachel smiled as she said, "I have them here." Lou frowned, and the blonde woman added, "I found them in the bunkhouse. I don't know why I didn't put them with the rest of your things. They're in my closet in the corridor."

Rachel went to get the fake spectacles that Lou had worn for so long, and found them exactly where she had said. When she returned to the bedroom, she stopped short at the threshold of her door and an exclamation of horror left her lips. "Louise!"

Lou was still standing before the mirror. In one of her hands she held a pair of scissors, and in the other the long braid she had sheared off her head. Leaving both the scissors and the shorn hair on the dresser, she turned to Rachel with a smile. "Give them to me."

Rachel slowly walked into the room, watching Louise, who kept running her fingers through her now cut short curls. "Oh Lou, your beautiful hair."

Louise did not say anything about Rachel's comment, and simply took the spectacles from her, and put them on her nose just before she placed her hat again onto her head. Her eyes checked her reflection in the mirror once again, and her lips stretched into a satisfied smile. Now everything was right, and turning her eyes back to Rachel, she said, "So here he is. Lou's back."


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

For some reason she did not know, Louise woke up the following morning with renewed energy. The world presented itself before her eyes with a different light, and she even felt confident she could conquer everything today.

After donning her male clothes, she had a look at herself in the mirror, and smiled satisfied. Then she put her hat on her head, which completed her new image, and then dashed downstairs. When she was descending the last flight of steps, her mouth broke into a big smile when she discovered the person sitting at the table with Rachel.

"Emma!" she exclaimed happily and ran to hug the woman.

"It's so good to see you, Lullabelle!" Emma enthused, and as she pulled away, she eyed Louise up and down with open curiosity. "Let me have a better look," she said, and dared to take Lou's hat off much in the same way as she had done years ago when she had revealed she knew that Lou was actually Louise. This time Emma also knew the younger woman's secret, because Rachel had already updated her about everything that had been going on. "Oh, Lou, what have you done to your beautiful hair?"

Louise turned around from her, and automatically her eyes directed to the small mirror on the wall that reflected her image while her fingers ran through her short hair over and over again. "It'll grow again. I like it like this. I remember I was happy when I used to wear my hair short, and everything went from bad to worse when I let it grow long."

"Like Samson, but the opposite case."

At Rachel's comment Lou swirled around and asked, "What?"

"Samson was a very strong man back in the old days of the Bible," Emma explained. "His strength was invincible, and came from his long hair. When bad Delilah learned his secret, she cut it all off."

"He lost his extraordinary force," Rachel continued, "and his enemies made him their prisoner. Then years later when his hair grew again, God renewed his strength, and he destroyed the temple and the people who did him wrong."

Louise narrowed her eyes, looking at both women warily. "Are you mocking me?"

"Course not, honey!" Emma said, closing the distance between them. She took Lou by the hand, and steered her to the table. "How could you think something like that?" Emma added as she sat next to Louise. "We're just worried about you."

"Worried? Why?" Lou asked with a frown.

"Louise can fight her own battles; she doesn't need to hide behind Lou," Rachel remarked as she started serving breakfast.

"I ain't hiding," Louise defended herself. "This… this is just for those stupid games." Emma and Rachel shared a skeptical look, and Lou insisted, "It's true. I swear."

"And we believe you," Emma added. "Even with your short hair, you look pretty, doesn't she, Rachel?"

"Totally, and younger. I wish I had your face, Louise."

Lou gave her a small thankful smile, and eager to change the direction of the conversation, she asked, "So, Emma, tell me. How are the twins?"

"Jamie was unwell all last week, but thankfully he got better, and is already looking for trouble. And Annie is as restless as always. I don't know how we didn't wake you up with the ruckus they created just now."

"I slept like a log," Lou replied, smiling. "And where is your offspring now?"

"Sam took them to see Buck's boys."

"This Express family has really grown over the years," Rachel remarked casually as she rocked her baby in her arms.

"Yes," Lou whispered, trying to smile, but a sudden pressure squeezed her chest, and her face cringed when her stomach lurched painfully. After her comment, watching Rachel and her daughter brought back the black clouds. This was not supposed to happen; she should be feeling as happy and confident as she was when she woke up. Knowing she could not pretend before her friends, she looked down and focused on her coffee. The two other women kept talking, and again Lou cursed herself for her lacking.

* * *

There were bunches of people gathered in Rock Creek that day. Apparently, curiosity had brought many from other towns and villages. Over the years the Pony Express had come to be a symbol of the young nation, and its riders were considered legendary heroes. It was no wonder people had travelled all the way from their hometowns to lay eyes on those that were their idols, especially Wild Bill Hickok and Buffalo bill.

With this celebration Tompkins was ensuring his re-election as the mayor of Rock Creek. Money was fattening the local businessmen's wallets, and everybody was happy. The two hotels were fully booked, the stables working at full steam, and the restaurants and other shops were filling their money boxes more than ever.

The competition between the riders and the locals took place in the main street. A huge corral had been put up, and dozens of onlookers stood around it to watch. Cody proved that his words from the night before ran true. His performance with the rifle was unparalleled, and amazed everybody. His skill with the lasso had also improved greatly from his Express days, and surpassed the other former riders easily. Yet, he was unable to do as well as Tommy Johnson, one of the locals, who did a spectacular show with the rope.

Then the men had to prove their excellence in horse breaking and revolver shooting. Even though Louise was enjoying the different competitions more than she had thought, she decided to simply stay aside during this one, and instead she watched the men being tossed by the wild stallions chosen for the occasion. She would not stay on top of the horse for too long, and would not look forward to being all sore and stiff tonight after one of those animals threw her onto the ground floor mercilessly. Most men did not stay long enough to even touch the saddle, like Jimmy, who bit the dust a few seconds after he got on the horse. Cody and Buck did much better, but it was Kid who finally managed to remain on top of the stallion the longest. He had learned a lot from Noah's breaking skills in the old days, and he had obviously put them into good practice.

"Congratulations, Kid! Well done!" Jimmy exclaimed when the Southerner left the horse and came up to his friends.

Everybody effusively congratulated Kid, but Lou simply snorted, and muttered under her breath, but loud enough for the comment to reach his ears. "That is hardly fair competition for the rest. What would be expected from someone who works with horses every day?"

Kid cast a dead serious look in her direction, but kept quiet, and after a few seconds he just walked away. Later something similar took place. This time Lou also joined the men to test her proficiency with a gun. It had been too long since she had last had practice, but when she knocked down most of the cans on a fence in the test, she realized that despite everything, she was still quite good. Naturally, like years ago Jimmy and Kid were the best shots, and it was Hickok who got the upper hand, but with the minimum difference. Once again Lou could not control herself and dropped a devious comment about Kid, but now he did not even bother to spare a look in her direction.

That was the last competition for the day. The horse race would be tomorrow, and would be followed by a dance in the evening. So when the trophies were presented to today's winners, the crowd dispersed.

The owner of one of the new fancy restaurants in town approached the ex-riders and offered them a free meal in his elegant establishment. At first, since the invitation did not include the men's families, Rachel, Emma, or Teaspoon, they intended to refuse. Yet, the marshal convinced them it would be a good occasion for the friends to be together and reminisce old times.

Even though Buck, Cody, and Jimmy knew that in the tense situation Lou and Kid were in, dinner would be anything but relaxing and pleasant. However, none of them dared to voice their reservations before the troubled couple. Besides, they suspected that Teaspoon was behind this scheme, and that generous meal Mr. Henderson had kindly offered them would come from Teaspoon's pocket. With all certainty the marshal intended to force Kid and Lou to get closer. So far the couple had been surrounded by too many people, and that encounter had not really happened. Maybe Teaspoon was right, and these two needed a push so that they could at least talk, but the other three former riders foresaw it was not going to be easy.

After freshening up and getting changed into clean clothes, the four men and Lou met at the restaurant. Lou had donned a blue dress and a bonnet that hid her now short hair. The waiter led them to their table, and as it was expected Kid and Lou sat at opposite extremes from each other, separated by their friends.

Contrary to their dreaded expectations, the meal was better than they had imagined. They actually enjoyed a good laugh, retelling their past adventures and mishaps. True to his character, Cody hogged the conversation for the most part, exaggerating his accounts like usual, only pausing to fill his mouth with the food from his plate. Next to him, Lou was strangely in a very talkative mood, which contrasted with Kid's silent mood. Louise kept remembering and bringing out story after story, which incidentally had happened when Kid wasn't around, or she simply left him out of the moment without a single mention to him.

As dessert was being served, Kid decided the night was over for him. Putting up with Lou was proving to be too much. Her comments punctured his heart painfully, and tonight's dinner had not been much easier. Even though she had not flaunted her caustic tongue, her cold looks in his direction and her purposeful blanking him out made him feel like an outsider. It was sad for Kid to realize that it was as if he had not existed in her life, as if he did not even exist, and he could not hold on any longer. Wiping his mouth, he started to rise to his feet. "I'm going now."

"You're leaving? So early?" Cody asked.

Kid simply nodded, and muttered a soft 'good night'.

No sooner had the Southerner taken a couple of steps than Lou's voice resounded behind him. "Let him go. That's the only thing he's really good at."

Kid stopped, slowly turned around, and directed his irritated eyes to her. "It's enough, don't you think, Louise?" he said and with slow steps he came closer so that his body rose above her imposingly. "What on earth do you want from me?"

Lou held her head high proudly. "I don't want anything from you, nothing at all."

"What the hell do you want?" he repeated in a louder tone, which attracted the looks from the people in the restaurant. "Do you want me to beg? That's what you want? Do you want me to beg for your royal forgiveness on my knees? I already did. Remember I did that five years ago, and you turned me down like a mangy dog."

"Kid, let it go," Jimmy tried, but Kid ignored him completely.

"Or maybe what you really want is for me to disappear from this damned world? Is that my sin, Lou? Is that the terrible sin I committed? That I didn't die as you thought? That's why you're so angry because I ain't dead?"

His words felt like a slap across her face. A twinge in her stomach reminding her of other times hit her, and she brought her hand to rub her middle as tears blurred her eyes. His angry comment brought back the most horrible moment in her life, and her body reacted strongly to the recollection. "No!" she cried. "I… that's… that's too cruel."

Noticing her troubled countenance, Kid regretted his rebuke, and softened. "Yes, you're right. It was too cruel of me. I'm still a fool, and as you can see, I haven't changed." Lou opened her mouth to talk, but she felt unable to form a single coherent thought, and all she could do was stammer. As she stuttered the syllable three times in a row, Kid cut her off and added, "I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to be here these days. I shouldn't have come. Good night." This time without waiting for a reply to his words, he rushed out of the restaurant as if he were coming out of hell itself.

Louise could not hold back any longer, and pressing her fingers against her eyelids, she let the unshed tears run into her hands. She stayed with her face buried in her palms as the silence of her friends engulfed her. "Are you all right?" Buck asked in a serious voice.

Without lifting her face from her hands, Lou shook her head. The three men shared a concerned look, and Jimmy said, "Don't mind him, Lou. He's just a moron."

The comment finally made Lou react, and she lifted her head. "No, he's not!" she exclaimed. "I deserved it!"

"If you allow me, there's something you should do in this situation with our friend Kid. Lock yourself up in a room with him, and that'll sort out all your problems."

"Cody!" Buck scolded, swatting his blonde friend on the arm.

Cody definitely hadn't changed, and Lou forced herself to smile shyly. Her hand lowered to her stomach, and rubbed it against it in circle motions as she still felt a dull ache in the area. "I hate to say that," Jimmy piped up, "but Cody is right to a certain degree."

"Am I?" the former rider exclaimed surprised, and Lou frowned. She knew she had to take Cody's comments with a pinch of salt, but Jimmy's words were a different story, and she was not sure whether to feel insulted or angry.

Jimmy ignored the expression of her face, and started, "When I was eight, a new girl came to the school. I instantly liked her, and I tried what I thought was my best to call her attention. So every chance I got, I acted like a jackass, pulling her piggy tails, messing around in her games with the other girls, and even tripping her up a couple of times. Needless to say, I managed the opposite of what I intended. Gwen didn't understand I liked her, and she ended up hating my guts." He paused, and rising his eyes to Louise, he added, "Lou, Kid ain't gonna understand either."

Louise looked away. "I don't know what that silly story has to do with me."

"Lou…" Jimmy insisted, pointedly raising an eyebrow that showed his skepticism. "You've gone out of your way to put him down at every single opportunity. You ain't like this, Lou, but it's no wonder Kid thinks the worst."

Louise blushed, and then unexpectedly, the dull ache in her stomach tuned into a sharp pain, which had her double in pain. "Lou! What's wrong?" the men's alarmed voices exclaimed, overlapping one another.

Breathlessly, Lou raised her eyes, and weakly said, "Don't worry. It's fine, and…" Yet, her stomach contorted in pain again, and she finally muttered, "Please could you walk me to the doctor?"


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Louise scanned the chaotic crowd that spread all over Rock Creek's main street. Today's horse race had attracted more visitors than the day before, and from where she stood, sheltered under the covered walkway, she had difficulty spotting her friends among the hundreds of people.

Buck was the first one she saw in the short distance, surrounded by his family. Standing next to his chestnut horse, the Kiowa patiently helped his sons on and off the animal in turns. The horse seemed to have as infinite patience as its owner because it never stirred even though once on top, the boys kept kicking its flanks and slapping its back.

Not too far was Cody, who was circled by a group of curious onlookers. He was holding a jar of what looked like a greasy ointment, and started smearing it over the body of the horse. Then he stepped back to watch the animal. Its coat shone in the sun beautifully, and with a proud smile Cody turned to his audience, and pointed at the horse in his usual flamboyant way.

Lou finally spotted Jimmy and Teaspoon as well, who were walking down the street. They were talking in a relaxing fashion. The ladies coming across the pair smiled, and the men greeted them politely. It was clear that they were respected in town, and people admired them as the good lawmen they were.

Lou kept straining her eyes throughout the crowd when a voice resounded next to her. "Louise."

Lou turned her face away from the multitude of people and smiled at Emma awkwardly. "Morning."

"How are you, honey? Rachel told me that you were unwell last night, and even had to pay a visit to the doctor."

"I'm fine," Louise replied, brushing her hand over her middle. "It was my stomach. I should've brought along the medicine I take when it bothers me."

"Does it happen very often?"

Lou shook her head. "Not really. I had an ulcer years ago, but as long as I watch what I eat, I'm usually fine. I only have these pains from time to time," Lou explained.

This was the first time Emma had heard about Lou suffering from a stomach ulcer. They both kept contact by letter, and once in a while Lou came to visit her, but Louise had never mentioned any of this before, and Emma was curious. "When exactly did that first happen?"

"About seven or eight years ago."

Emma worked out the numbers in her head, and said, "That was around the time Kid went missing, wasn't it?"

Lou did not reply, and turned her eyes back to the crowd. On top of a wooden platform Tompkins was urging the participants in the race to take their positions because it would start in just twenty minutes. "Kid ain't here," she whispered without averting her eyes from the people. "Last night he hinted he might go back home."

"Kid wouldn't go without saying goodbye," Emma said, and as Lou kept quiet, the red-headed woman dared to ask, "Does it bother you that he plans to leave?"

Louise then shifted her eyes back to her, and said, "He belongs there with Cody and the rest. It ain't right if he misses this."

"Well, that's his decision," Emma commented matter-of-factly.

"But it's my fault. I said a few horrible things to him yesterday, and now he feels unwelcome."

Emma nodded in understanding. "His hotel room is 134, just a few doors from ours. Why don't you go and check if he's really gone?" At Emma's suggestion, Lou lowered her eyes, and the older woman could clearly guess what Louise was not saying. "Would you like me to go for you?"

Lou looked up. "Would you do that for me?"

Emma smiled in agreement. "Give me five minutes," she said, and as she was about to head for the hotel, Lou grabbed her arm to stop her. "Please if you see him, don't tell him it was my idea."

Emma nodded slowly, and as she started towards the hotel, she shook her head in a mixture of amusement and puzzlement, because she could not understand how Lou's mind actually worked. Yesterday she was adamant to show Kid her scorn and hostility, and today she was clearly worried sick about him. Maybe this was a good symptom, which would mean that Lou could finally see past her ghosts and insecurities. Maybe the immense gap that separated the young couple could close. They might never be a pair of lovebirds again, but at least they should be able to have a respectful and civil relationship.

Emma knocked at the room door, and heard Kid shout 'one moment' from inside. A few seconds later the door opened, and the Southerner's face registered his surprised when he saw the woman. Kid seemed to have just woken up. His hair was tousled, his face unshaved, his feet just clad in socks, and even though he had his pants on, his upper trunk just wore his long johns top. "Did you oversleep, Kid? Everybody's waiting for you," Emma said.

"I ain't going, Emma. I'm not in the mood for games," he muttered, and hanging his head low, he turned from her and sat down on the edge of the still unmade bed.

Emma followed him inside, and stood before him. "Why, Kid? Is it because of Lou?"

The Southerner raised his blue eyes, and after a beat he said, "I thought I could cope with her, but I can't. I'm sorry, but I just can't."

"She hasn't made things easy for you, has she?" the woman added as she sat next to him.

Kid shook his head. "It ain't really about that. I don't really know what I expected to find here. I'm fully aware things will never be the same, but I don't know… it's so sad to realize there's nothing left, not even what used to be our friendship. She hates my guts."

"I don't think she hates you, Kid. But this ain't easy for her either."

"I know," Kid muttered. "I even know this ain't easy for anybody else. I'm sure things would be less tense for everyone if one of us wasn't around. So my good deed of the week will be to volunteer to go and clean the air for you."

Emma did not agree with his decision. Kid leaving would not sort out anything, and whatever the problems the pair had, they should be able to talk to each other and act like the adults they were. "Why you, and not her?"

"Because I know Lou needs this time with her family," Kid replied. "It's the fair thing to do."

"Lou wouldn't like you to make this kind of decision for her," Emma remarked as a way to make him react.

"Probably, but there are so many things she doesn't like about me that one more won't make much of a difference. It's also my decision, and it wouldn't be very gentlemanlike of me to ask her leave, would it?"

Emma sighed. "So you've made up your mind then? Ain't there anything we can do to persuade you to rethink your decision?"

Kid shook his head. "I will stay for tonight's social, but I'll be heading home first thing tomorrow morning."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Emma said sadly, patting Kid's hand affectionately. "You know you're as big a part of this family as Lou is. You're a good man, and this won't be the same without you."

"Thanks."

They remained in silence for a few minutes, both lost in their own thoughts. Noises from outside reached them. A shot followed by loud cheers clearly told them that the horse race had started, but neither of them moved from the place.

"Kid," Emma called him after debating with herself whether she should address the matters she had been pondering. The Southerner shifted her eyes to her, and the woman continued, "May I be so bold and ask you something very personal?"

"You can ask me anything."

Emma smiled appreciatively. "This ain't my business, but if I stick my nose in, it is because I'm very fond of you and Louise." Kid nodded, wondering what the woman seemed to have so much trouble to bring into the open. "You and Lou have been married for about ten years, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Honey, have you ever thought of legally breaking that marriage that ain't actually real?" Emma finally blurted out.

"Yes, I have," Kid replied in such a soft voice that Emma hardly heard him.

"The fact that your story with Louise didn't work doesn't mean you can't both be happy with other people. You're both young, and your life doesn't end here. Look at Rachel and me. We both had a second chance in love, and we can't be happier. I'm sure a handsome man like you has caught more than a lady's eye, or even some lady has also caught yours," Emma dropped not very subtly. Emma did not intend to pry, but maybe there was another reason why Kid should finally break ties with Louise. That would be the right thing to do, and a little push would be helpful for them. Kid had always been very discreet in his matters, but his silence in the last few days had even been too much.

Kid did not say anything, but his face puckered. For a moment Emma thought he was going to crumble down, and cry, but Kid remained stoically serious.

"Kid, what's wrong?"

The Southerner shook his head bleakly. "I never thought I'd willingly walk away from Lou. Not even when I decided my duty was to join the war did I believe I could go through with it. And now…" Kid sighed. "I still can't understand how I ruined everything."

Emma smiled sadly. "Neither can we, honey. But life goes on."

A few minutes after ending her conversation with Kid, Emma found Louise waiting outside the hotel. "I thought you'd joined the race," Emma remarked, raising her voice to be heard among the jeers and shouts of the people cheering the racing riders.

Lou ignored the woman's comment, and asked her while they started walking away from the hotel. "Did you see him?"

"Uhuh," Emma nodded.

"Well? What did he say?" Lou urged her.

Emma did not intend to tell Louise everything that she had talked to Kid about. There were certain things she should learn from Kid herself, and the idea of bringing back and forth bits and pieces between the two of them as if she were delivering mail did not appeal to Emma very much. Like she had told Kid, it was high time the two of them talked face to face, and stopped playing hide and seek. "Kid says he's leaving tomorrow."

Lou's face fell. "But why?"

"Do I really need to tell you the reason, Lullabelle?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow meaningfully. Lou shook her head, and both women kept walking in silence.

"Lou?" Emma called after a few moments, and as the younger woman turned her attention to her, she asked, "Do you still love your husband?"

Louise was completely taken aback by the question, and her feet stopped dead. "Wh… what?"

"I know that doesn't concern me, honey," Emma continued. "Marriage is a very strong commitment, and staying married is often hard and very trying. When you decide to take that step, you believe you're insanely in love with your man, but sometimes that might be just a mirage."

Emma's comment felt like a punch on her nose, and Lou exclaimed, "Are you saying I never loved Kid?"

"No, course not! I just mean that loving a man is more than letting him lead you to the bedroom, if you allow me to say so. Love is endurance day after day, and we women and men have to learn about it as we walk along the road. That finally proves to us for real how much our love for the other person weighs. Do you know what I mean?"

Lou slowly nodded, feeling so sad all of a sudden that she wanted to fall on her knees and cry her eyes out. A shiver ran though her body, and a cramp stirred her stomach.

"Look! Buck's won!" Emma exclaimed, pointing at the crowd that had gathered around the Kiowa to congratulate him. "This ain't the first time. Remember when he won the Founder Fathers' race?" Lou nodded, and forced a fake smile onto her lips, which hurt like hell. "Come on, Louise. Let's join the men."

Emma started to steer Lou in the opposite direction, but the younger woman stopped her. "I think I'd rather go back to Rachel's."

"Why? Anything wrong?"

"My stomach's starting to complain again, so I'd better take my medicine and lie down for a while."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

Lou shook her head, and before Emma could say another word, she almost ran from her. She really needed to be alone for a while, or maybe for long. Peace and quiet. Silence. That was what she needed, silence and her solitude, because that was the only way she could stand her own pathetic, rotten soul.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Louise?" Rachel called after knocking at her guest room. She dared to open the door a crack, and saw Louise in bed, still in the pants and shirt she had put on that very morning.

"Please come in," Lou said, pushing herself up and resting her back on the headboard. As Rachel slowly walked into the bedroom, Lou smiled appreciatively when she noticed the woman's elegant attire. "Rachel, you look beautiful!" Louise exclaimed. Tonight the former station mistress had donned a delicate maroon dress with a discreet neckline and elbow-long sleeves lined by delicate lacing. Her strawberry-blonde hair was done in a pretty topknot, and some curls were hanging loose framing her pretty, pale face.

"Thanks," Rachel replied as she took a few steps further into the bedroom. "How are you feeling? Still rough?"

"I'm feeling much better, but let me spare you from asking. No, I ain't going to the dance."

"So what's your plan? Stay in this room for the rest of the week?" Rachel asked ironically.

"That wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"Louise!" Rachel berated her in a shrill voice. "I thought you've come to Rock Creek because you wanted to spend time with us, but we haven't seen much of you so far."

"My stomach…"

"Please keep that excuse for the others. It's me, Rachel! I don't doubt your tummy's bothering you, but I know you too well, and that's not the reason, is it?"

"I just ain't in the mood, understood?" Lou muttered reluctantly.

"Why?" Because Kid might be there? Lou, this is a bit childish of you. I think you acted more like an adult when I first met you than now. Kid ain't gonna bite you, and if you ask me, Kid should be more afraid of you than you of him."

Louise nodded slowly, accepting the direct scolding because she deserved it. "You're right, but I… I don't know. I have a strange feeling, a bee buzzing in my ear."

"What is it, Louise?" Rachel asked in a softer tone as she sat down on the bed.

"It's something Emma said this morning. She… she implied that I married Kid because I was… infatuated, not because I was in love."

Rachel narrowed her eyes skeptically as she processed the information. "Whatever she said, I doubt Emma meant that, honey. Nobody can know about your feelings, but yourself. Do you actually believe what you think Emma told you? That you didn't love him?"

"No!" Lou exclaimed a bit too quickly, and then she paused for a beat, and added, "I… not really, but maybe I didn't love him the way he deserved. If I had been more reasonable, more understanding, more…"

"Then it wouldn't have been you," Rachel cut her off. "Kid married 'you', not a possible you."

"And now I imagine he regrets it," Lou muttered.

"And you? Do you regret marrying him?"

Louise kept thoughtful for a few seconds, and then added, "I wanted to believe I do, but no, I don't regret it. I'd do it again if I started my life anew. I can't turn my back and forget all those magical moments we shared. They're too precious."

"Then why do you think Kid regrets marrying you?"

Lou shrugged her shoulders, and flexing her legs, she hugged them close to her chest. "I… I don't know."

"Maybe it's time you found out," Rachel suggested, and as Lou cast her an are-you-crazy kind of look, the blonde woman added, "Lou, why don't you talk to him? He's gonna be at the dance tonight, and he'll be gone tomorrow. It's your last chance. Please don't miss it because I'm sure you'll regret it." As Lou remained quiet, Rachel asked, "Louise, what are you so afraid of?"

"I…"

"What, honey?"

"I'm afraid he'll have as low an opinion of me as I have of myself," Lou mumbled, letting her head rest on her knees.

"Lou, what's happening to you? Where's that proud girl I know you are? I can hardly recognize you," Rachel exclaimed.

Louise lifted her head and looked at Rachel with bright eyes. "That was just my mask!" she exclaimed, and easing off the bed, she turned around and stood with her back to Rachel. "It was just an armor to protect myself. That wasn't the real me. I'm just a pathetic, little woman. That's me, only me."

"Oh Lou!" Rachel let out as she noticed her friend's shoulders shake and heard her soft sobs. The former station mistress came closer to her, and placed a comforting hand on the younger woman's shoulder. Louise turned her tear-streaked face back to her friend, and said, "I'm so lonely, Rachel. I feel more and more lonely with each passing day, and it's so powerful that it suffocates me completely. I've missed him so much all these years, and I miss him with all my heart now."

Rachel smiled sadly, feeling she was seeing the real Lou after a long time. "Lou, you still have a chance. He's here, and he's your husband. Talk to him for goodness' sake."

Lou's eyes widened in horror after hearing Rachel's suggestion. Her forehead started perspirating and her breathing quickened. "No! I can't do that!"

"Lou, I ain't saying you go to him and declare your unconditional love. What I mean is that you try to address a few words to him that won't sound like an attack." Louise blushed at the new rebuke, and Rachel continued. "You can do that, and maybe things can go in the right direction from there. You might be able to start fresh, and renew that special friendship you shared. And who knows? One day you might get back what you lost, or what you mislaid on the way."

"Or he might turn me down like I deserve."

"But he might not. Don't you think it's worth the risk?" Rachel asked. "You're a brave woman, Louise."

Lou kept thoughtful for a while, and then said, "I have nothing decent to wear."

Rachel smiled a wide, genuine smile. "I'm sure we'll find something. Let me help you."

* * *

Louise held her gloved hands together to avoid showing how nervous she actually felt. This was ridiculous. Why on earth was she feeling this way? Her stupid nerves had even made her trip on her skirt a couple of times as she followed Rachel and her husband into the social hall. The inside of the building was full of people, and as soon as Louise stepped inside, she quickly swept her eyes around to discover Kid was not there yet.

"Louise, would you grant me the honor to dance with me?" Allan asked after a -not very discreet nudge from Rachel, who then tilted her head meaningfully to her friend.

Louise smiled as she accepted his request and let him steer her to join the other dancing couples. As they danced, Lou could not enjoy herself since her eyes continuously wandered to the door, or around the room to check if Kid turned up. After Allan, she kept changing partners, and swirled around with Jimmy, Cody, Buck and Teaspoon, who one by one in perfect coordination asked her for a dance. Lou knew that somehow the men must have talked beforehand and agreed not to let her stand alone during the social. Louise appreciated the gesture, but she still did not manage to have fun. The night progressed, and there was no trace of Kid, and Lou started to fear that he might have already left Rock Creek.

After dancing with Sam for the second time, Lou excused herself and headed for the refreshment table. After all the physical exercise, she was feeling quite hot and flustered, and as she eagerly drank the punch, her eyes traveled around the place for the umpteenth time. She spotted all her friends with smiling faces as they danced with their significant others. Lou conscientiously forced herself to stretch her tense lips to convey how glad it made her to see that her family had found happiness and love. Yet, deep down a powerful sense of bitterness and desolation surged all through her soul. The blissful countenances of friends and strangers around her intensified the cracks in her spirit. This was too selfish of her, and she was aware that, like Rachel had said, her present situation was only her fault, but she could not help feeling totally miserable.

Unable to endure the pressure, Lou dashed out of the social hall onto the solitary porch. The night's cool breeze welcomed her with open arms, and she let out her contained breath. Leaning her body against one of the porch posts, she remained there, watching the lonely street and breathing in the fresh air.

"What are you doing here?"

Louise turned her eyes to the unexpected voice, and was surprised to find Kid there as if he were an apparition. Since there was nobody else around, his question was addressed to her, and since her face could not conceal her surprise, he added, "I mean, you should be enjoying yourself inside." Kid paused for a second, and raising a hand at the level of her eyes in mock surrender, he continued, "I know what you're gonna say. This ain't my business."

Lou lowered her eyes. "I wasn't gonna say that. I wasn't gonna say anything," she whispered.

They remained in silence for a while, and neither tried to move away from where they stood. Lou kept looking at the empty street before her since she felt unable to face Kid. His mere presence was unnerving, and even though she told herself she should jump at the chance and talk to him like Rachel had told her to, she realized she lacked the courage she needed.

"This is nice," Kid finally broke in, and as Lou timidly peeked at him through the corner of her eye, he added, "You know, the silence."

Lou shifted her position to glance straight into his eyes, and gave him a strange look. The music from the hall was so cheerful and loud that it sounded as if the musicians were playing just next to them. "Silence?" she croaked, and then her face flamed when it dawned on her what he might mean with his words. "Oh you mean 'my' silence."

"No, I didn't mean that. Sorry if it sounded that way."

"I couldn't blame you if you meant it," Lou continued. "I haven't been too nice to you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kid added, making an exaggerated gesture that clearly told Lou that there was no reason for apologies. "Is everyone inside?" he asked after a few seconds, eager to change the subject.

Lou nodded. "Yes, well, that is, except you."

Kid dared to take a few steps closer, but still remained at a safe distance. "Lou, I wonder if I could talk to you about something."

"Uh… yes, sure."

"But not here," Kid replied, and after considering his options mentally, he asked, "Are you hungry?" Lou simply shrugged her shoulders, which might mean anything in reality. "Then let me buy you some dinner."

Louise did not say a word against it, which Kid took as a yes. He led the way in the opposite direction, and Lou followed, feeling a weird sensation at the pit of her stomach. It was strange to walk alongside him, mere feet separating, but the gap between them was actually immense. In a way, this walk to the restaurant reminded her of those simpler times, or maybe in a way more complex, when they could not show they were nothing more than two male friends to the outer world. Things had changed from those days, and today the gap between them might not be much wider in the physical way, but it was immense in other senses. Yet, it was true they had talked without her losing her temper. That was a start, and maybe she could be hopeful. Who knew? Perhaps they could fix something. But what on earth would he want to talk to her about?


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Louise sat at the table across from Kid and downed her second glass of water in just ten minutes. Being here alone with Kid was more than daunting, and even though she silently chastised herself for behaving like a silly teenager, she just could not avoid feeling this nervous. It was absurd.

"Thirsty, uh?" the Southerner remarked causally when she left the second glass empty. Lou smiled uncomfortably, feeling her cheeks flamed. "Want some more?" he offered, reaching for the water jug.

"No, thanks," Louise replied, moving her palm to and fro at the same time.

The waiter came with their order, and the pair quickly started to eat. Both of them focused their attention on the food as a way to avoid facing each other. Lou noticed that Kid kept stealing glances in her direction, which made Lou more nervous than she already was. The situation reminded her of better times when his intense look across the bunkhouse table made her heart flutter. She loved the feeling, and back then just by looking in his eyes, she could always read what he was saying without uttering the actual words. Lou had always felt there was a constant declaration of love in his gaze, and everything seemed so simple in those days.

Too much time had passed since then, and everything was so different now. His eyes looked as blue as always, but she sadly realized that she was not sure what she might find in them. Selfishly or not, she really wanted to have Kid silently love her like always. She longed to believe that his eyes expressed the same adoration, the same passion for her. It was a beautiful illusion that she could not afford to believe.

Louise turned her eyes to Kid. His countenance was serious, but he smiled as he noticed her gaze in his direction. "This is a nice place," Kid remarked.

"Yes, and quiet," Lou added. Almost the whole town was at the social, and only a couple of the tables were not empty. This was one of the new restaurants that had opened in Rock Creek in the last year, and it was obviously better than the single one existing in town years ago.

"It's kind of romantic too, ain't it?"

Lou smiled sheepishly, and felt a tug in her stomach. It was a strange sensation, and she did not know if it was something good. What she realized, though, was that lifting her mask and getting rid of her iron façade had not been so difficult, and she even felt good with herself. Rachel and Emma had been right. Getting out of her shell was what she had needed all along. Maybe she had not ruined everything as she had believed, and there was still some hope she might redeem herself.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Lou finally asked with a smile.

His smile, though, vanished as soon as he said, "Us."

"Uh… us? What about us?" Lou stammered, not expecting he would be so direct in whatever he had to tell her.

Kid breathed in, put his fork down, and wiped his mouth with a napkin before he spoke up. "About our situation," Kid muttered, keeping his eyes low while his thumb scratched an imaginary stain on the tablecloth. "It… it's pointless to have a paper saying we're married when that ain't a real fact. Maybe… we should set things right, and… and get a divorce."

Lou's expression froze, and the fork almost slipped out of her fingers when she heard him. Her face paled, and a shiver coursed all over her body, but Kid never noticed any of this since he could hardly look at her. "A… a divorce?" she managed to croak.

"It's the right thing to do. We haven't lived as husband and wife for too long, and it doesn't make sense to keep this fake marriage going."

"I guess you're right," Lou muttered. Of course he was right, and she shouldn't be surprised. In fact, she had even considered the option a few times over the years, but she had always backed off, thinking that she would have to contact Kid. Now that he put the option on the table, she felt strangely disappointed and sad, and she could even feel that the mask she had disposed of that very day started to cover her face again.

"The lawyer here in town, Lance Gordon, would receive us tomorrow. I went to see him today."

"You seem to have things very clear," Louise remarked, her voice coated with a tinge of irritation.

Kid shrugged his shoulders. His right hand picked up his fork again, and started to toy with the food in his plate. "I've had too long to think everything through."

His words sounded like a recrimination to her ears even though he had not intended them to come out that way. All of a sudden, her defense mechanism kicked in, and her whole body hardened, ready to fight a new battle. "Do you have a kept woman at home?" she asked dryly.

"Wh… what?" exclaimed Kid, taken aback by her question so much that his eyes finally lifted to face hers.

"Kid, there's no need to be ashamed," she continued in a patronizing way "Life goes on for everybody, even for you and me. There's a special person in my life too. We're very much in love, and people in Seneca even think we're actually married."

Kid stared at her. His eyes had lost their previous softness, and shone with coldness. "Then as soon as you're free, you can marry and join him forever," he said sarcastically between gritted teeth.

"I can't wait," Lou replied, letting out a fake peal of laughter. "And I know he'll never leave me… never ever. He's a man of his word."

It was almost physical the pain that Kid felt as he received Lou's direct kick. There was no doubt about the intention in her comment, and Kid felt the urge to rise to his feet and leave. Yet, he remained there, stoically enduring the idea that another man had taken his place, and what was worse, had managed to gain Lou's love when he had failed. "Good for you then," he replied, unable to keep the bitterness from echoing in his voice.

Eager to distract his troubled mind, Kid lowered his eyes and forced himself to eat even though he had lost his appetite completely. His most dreaded fears in these years had finally got confirmed. He had never dared to ask Rachel or Teaspoon, fearing what they might tell him, and it was Lou who finally broke the news to him. Of course it was natural. Lou was a great, beautiful woman, and it was long ago she did not need to be faithful to him. He should feel happy for her, but what he felt was deep grief and desolation. He just couldn't share her happiness, he just couldn't.

Lou kept quiet, and almost mimicked her still husband. Casting her eyes down, she simply stared blankly at her uneaten food. Once again she had resurfaced among her ashes, and came back to life. Kid would not hurt her again, not him, or any other man for the matter. If she had to lie or deceive, she would, but nobody would harm her. What a fool she had been! Here thinking she could smooth things with him, and all he wanted was a damned divorce! Now he would be able to frolic around with that woman he hid somewhere. Why else would he want a divorce? If he thought he could flaunt his righteousness and bliss in her very nose, and get away with it, then he had another thing coming. Of course she had hit back as strongly as she could. And she had beaten him… yes, she had won over him, Lou kept repeating over and over again in her mind. But then, she mused, why on earth did she feel like a loser?

* * *

After leaving the restaurant, Kid had insisted on walking Lou safely home. She had declined at first, but when he had reiterated his offering, she did not have the energy to refuse again, and had granted him permission with a shrug.

The anger she had felt during their dinner in the restaurant had gradually vanished, and had given way to overwhelming misery. The tears strongly fought to escape their confines, but Louise made an almost superhuman effort to choke them back. Her situation was so pitiful and contemptible.

As she thought about what she had just done, she felt more and more miserable and ashamed. Why the hell did she have to make up that stupid story about that imaginary man in her life? That said so little of her, or maybe too much of the person she actually was. Why did she have to resort to these childish tricks? What was more, what she had managed with her stupid antics was to lower herself even more. What if Kid had a mistress at home? That was beside the point, but she had stomped over her own dignity and pride. It had been her own big mouth, nobody else. That showed how little of a lady she was. No wonder she had always feared people would think she wasn't one, but she had proved tonight that was a fact. She was no lady, and had shown herself to Kid as an adulterous witch. Now he had more reasons to think the worst of her.

They started walking in silence along the main street. Lou did not try to say anything because in her current mood she did not trust herself. Her big mouth had done too much tonight. Besides she was too sensitive and hurt, and her voice would betray her for sure.

"Lou…" Kid called after a while. Louise looked at him, and he did not rush to speak, and when he did, he struggled to get the words out of his mouth. "Lou, I… I wanted to tell you I'm really sorry for what happened to Jeremiah."

Louise was surprised to hear the sincerity in his voice after the way they had ended up at the restaurant. "Thanks," she whispered, the unshed tears shining in her eyes. Even though a year had passed since then, she still got very upset about her brother's death, and tonight she was especially sensitive.

"I deeply regretted his death when I heard. He was a good boy."

Louise sighed. "It's been a horrible year. I still can't believe he's gone. His death wasn't fair. My brother shouldn't have died."

"I considered coming down to Seneca for his funeral," Kid admitted softly, "but then I decided against it. I knew you'd be shattered, and I…"

"I was devastated," Louise cut him off, daring to lift her shining eyes to him. "You should have come. I felt so hurt and lonely, and I'd have welcomed to have you there by my side."

Her words took Kid by total surprise, and he stopped dead in his tracks. Daring to place a hand on her arm and stop her, he exclaimed, "Lou, what are you saying?"

"I… I don't know." She was not sure why she had said that. Maybe she was more upset than she was ready to admit, and now she did not care if she had let her guard down and tore her stupid mask into shreds. It was the first true thing she had said tonight. The day of Jeremiah's funeral she had secretly been hoping Kid would turn up, and she would have welcomed him with open arms. On those days or maybe weeks the need for him was so huge that when he did not show up and she did not even get a letter from him, she even felt more empty and miserable.

"Lou, you didn't even cross a word with me a couple of hours ago. How could you say you wanted me there with you? I had every reason to believe you wouldn't want to see me."

"I know, but I hoped…"

"Hoped? Lou, I never heard from you at all in years," Kid cut her off, rising his voice, which just showed how totally flabbergasted he was.

"Because I was angry and hurt! Not because I didn't care!" Lou retorted. "I suffered so much… so, so much during the war. I thought you were dead for too long."

"Don't you think I didn't suffer too?"

"Yes, but…"

"And I came back!" Kid continued in the same tone. "I came back to you, Lou! I called at your door, longing to see you, hug you, kiss you, but you slammed that damned door in my very nose."

"I… I just wanted you to suffer like I did, feel what I did!" Lou answered back, hot tears springing to her eyes. "It was never my intention to delete you from my life. I only wanted to punish you… a little."

Kid shook his head in disbelief. What he was learning tonight turned his whole world upside down, and he was not even sure how to take all this. "Lou, I kept knocking at that closed door for three whole weeks, hoping you opened it a crack, just a crack. Three whole weeks, and you didn't even give me the chance to talk to you! I never noticed a small spark of hope because all I saw was that damned closed door. I left because it was obvious you didn't want me!"

"I would've come round in the end! You would have knocked down my resistance because I was actually willing… I just needed a little more time."

"Oh Lou!" Kid exclaimed, throwing his arms to the starred sky above them. "How can you tell me this now? You can't imagine what this does to me!" He paused and asked, "Why… why then did you never contact me in all these years?"

"Because I was proud… proud and stupid!" Louise replied, and the tears that had shyly appeared on her eyes finally flowed down her eyes. She did not want to cry and appear like a poor, needy woman to his eyes, but she couldn't hold them back. So as she swirled around from him, those tears turned into racking sobs.

"Lou…" Kid breathed. As he heard the pain behind her tears, his anger had turned into tenderness and even compassion. He dared to come closer, and placed a hand on her shoulder."

"I'm so sorry," she bawled and buried her face in her right hand. "My life's a mess, a total mess. I've ruined everything. Nothing I touch remains intact. Everything turns into rubble, everything!"

"Lou, that ain't true!" Kid exclaimed softly, stroking her tense shoulder from behind her. "You're a very capable woman… like always. From what I've heard, you're a terrific businesswoman, and your store is doing so well thanks to your efforts, and…" Kid paused and swallowed. What he meant to say next was not easy, but Lou needed to be reminded of all the blessings she had in her life. "And well… There… there's somebody… a very lucky fella who adores you and must be missing and thinking of you right at this moment."

His words went straight into her much wounded heart, and something triggered within her. Whirling around, she fixed her red, puffy eyes into his blue one. "That's a lie!" she cried, and at Kid's confused frown, she repeated, "It's a lie! There's nobody… no man in my life. I… I just wanted to get even with you, and made all that up! I didn't want you to think I'm just a pathetic, little woman, but I don't care anymore. That's what I am, and that's all you can see."

"Lou, don't say that! You ain't pathetic, and I've never thought you were," Kid replied, his heavy heart feeling much lighter as he learned there wasn't somebody else for her. Taking a step closer, he rested his hands on her shoulders. "And, Lou, get even with me? Where did that idea come from? I never said I had a woman. How can I? I'm still married to you, and in all these years no other woman has made my heart beat as fast you always did."

Silent tears kept cascading from her eyes, and Kid dared to softly wipe them with his thumbs. Lou held her breath. His touch still managed to send shivers all through her body, and that increased her awareness of what she had lost. Lou knew she could not ask for his comprehension or support after the way she had treated him, but even risking to be refused, she blindly threw herself against Kid and hugged him. "I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. Will you ever forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Lou," Kid softly replied, also hugging her. "I also made too many mistakes with you."

"I know I have no right to ask anything from you," Lou said, lifting her eyes form his chest to look at him. "But could… could we start afresh? Could we some day … be at least friends again?"

Kid did not say anything, just looked at her with his intense eyes. Then he answered her questions by framing her head between his hands, and ever so slowly his face towards hers. His lips touched hers in a brief, soft kiss, but so powerfully that her body shivered from head to toe and her heart pounded in her chest like never before. Her big eyes met his and this time she was absolutely sure what she saw in them. Unable to resist her desire any longer, she found his lips once again with such passion and yearning that surprised both of them, but that did not stop them. It had been so long since she had had that sweet mouth of his adoring her that her hunger for him was incontrollable. She needed to feel him as much and close as possible. Her lips fully demanded that attention and Kid followed her lead, kissing her ravenously and eager as if there was no tomorrow. Her fingers intertwined in his hair, bringing him closer to her while his hands stroked her body from her shoulders to her back and arms… everything and everywhere he could reach.

Some sounds nearby made them stop abruptly, and they realized for the first time they were in the middle of the street where anybody could see them. Panting after their intense and ardent kiss, they kept staring adoringly into each other's eyes, and when Kid managed to get his breath back, he said, "Come on, Lou. Let's go someplace more private."


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Kid unlocked the door to his hotel room and opened it wide for Lou. Shy Louise stepped inside, and stopped just before the bed while her eyes studied everything around. Kid came behind her, placed his hands on her shoulders, and caressed them softly. As his lips found their way to her neck, she felt ticklish and, giggling, she ran to the other end of the bedroom.

Looking at him flirtatiously out of the corner of her eye, Lou unclasped the button on her waistband and the skirt slid down, pooling at her feet. She picked it up, and carefully placed it on a chair. Then sitting on the edge of the bed, she started undoing all her buttons at the front of her blouse, and soon it came to rest next to the skirt. Clad in just her chemise and bloomers, she felt a shiver run her body. Without turning her head, she could feel Kid's warmth on her back. He had his knees on the bed, and leaning over, he placed a soft kiss on the bare flesh of her right shoulder. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, his lips so close that his warm breath caressed her ear.

Lou turned her face round, and gave him a shy smile. Kid was already in his long johns, and shifting his body in the bed, he laid down. "Get under the bedding," he said, tapping the empty place next to him.

Louise slid into bed, and without a word, her arms eagerly claimed him. The couple embraced, clinging to each other almost desperately. The realization that she was in Kid's arms and all that had happened in the last ten years was enough to pull at her heart again. Tears blurred her eyes, and even though she tried to control them, her body shook while she wept silently. "Lou, please," Kid said softly as he pulled away just enough to see her tear-streaked face. "Don't start again. I don't want to have you crying all the time. I'd rather you stay mad at me. If it helps, just give me a punch to the jaw. Don't hesitate, let all that energy out and punch me," he said, pointing at his own face. "I'd even settle for a powerful one as long as you look after me afterwards."

Among tears Lou could not help but giggle, and instead of the punch he requested, she kissed him softly on the lips. They remained close together and staring into each other's eyes. "It feels so good to be here with you," Kid breathed, caressing her cheek. Lou smiled, and kissed his fingers as they brushed against her lips.

"Kid…" Lou called after a few silent but emotion-laden moments. "I want… I want you to talk to me." Kid nodded. That was what they had agreed on when they decided to come here, and if he did not start straightaway, he might easily forget his promise not to touch her until they had got reacquainted for real.

"I want you to tell me everything since you left. I need to know."

Kid nodded again, and his face shadowed. Knowing he was about to embark on a journey he would rather not go on. Breathing in, he got ready to speak up. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done, and now that the reasons that were so plausible back then don't make sense, I feel you should have shot me before I could walk out on you."

"Yes, I should," Louise muttered. What was happening between them now did not mean her feelings about that particular moment had diminished or changed. It still hurt too much.

Kid bobbed his head up and down, accepting her vague rebuke. Over the years he had chastised and almost tortured himself over his mistake, and nobody could make him feel worse than he already felt. In truth, he did not regret following his heart and ideals; he loved the land that had seen him born and grow up, but he had learned in this odyssey that there were more important things, and his priority should have been his wife above anything else.

"I still remember the night I left," Kid continued. "After those previous horrible days, that morning topped anything else."

Lou knew what he meant. Since Kid had announced his intention to join the war, fights and long silences had been the norm in their home that week. Louise had even refused to sleep in the same bed as him, and had gone to spend her nights in Theresa's bedroom. Then the day Kid had left, she had locked herself at home, and had not bothered to join the others who came to see Kid off.

"I… I just couldn't say goodbye," Lou whispered. "I saw you ride away from the window of our bedroom… I wanted to go after you, and hold you, but I just couldn't. Seeing you go broke my heart. I cried for weeks."

Kid cupped her face with his right hand, and stroked her cheekbones softly with his thumb. "I'm so sorry," he said, feeling her anguish in his heart. "During the whole ride I kept thinking about you, and how much I missed you already. I even thought of forgetting about the war and riding back to you every five minutes."

Lou refrained herself from saying the obvious 'I wish you had', and instead she asked, "What did you do when you got to Virginia?"

"I went straight to the recruitment office, and enlisted," Kid replied. "The officer in charge there told me I would have to report back in a week. Seven days for myself and my thoughts. That time in my own company turned out to be a hard journey to my past."

"What do you mean?"

"I decided to visit all those places that had been part of my childhood, you know, like the house I was raised in," Kid explained. "The run-down, weak cottage didn't exist anymore, and in its place a comfortable house loomed in our old field. Some folks had bought the property after we lost it to the bank. You can't imagine what it was like when I was a child. These folks had really made the place bloom the way my father the drunkard never could."

Louise slid her hands from his shoulders to his chest. She could feel his body tense under her touch, which did not surprise her. Talking about his father had always upset Kid, and things had not changed. She still remembered the first time he had shared his troubled past with her, and it was then that she had truly understood what kind of person he was, and why he was always so wary in his relationships with others, much like herself.

"The new owners let me have a look around when I told them it had belonged to my parents years ago. The property really felt like a real home now, with the Hales' children laughing and playing around happily, without cares. I thought about my mother and how she would have loved it. I thought about you too." Louise cast a questioning look, and Kid added, "I thought to myself, '_this looks like the home I'd want to create with Lou and where we could raise our family'_. Actually, apart from the children my ranch has quite a lot of what I saw because that was what I knew you loved."

Louise smiled, and even though they had not even voiced their love for each other in words yet, she dared to say, "I'm sure I'll love it."

Her comment hid the hope of a promise, which lit up his features for a few seconds, but when he resumed talking, his face darkened once again. "That wasn't the only bleak memory I had to relive that week. I felt very strongly I had the moral obligation to visit Garth's and Doritha's families. I kept putting it off for a few days, but I finally mustered the courage and went through with it."

"How… how did it go?" Louise asked cautiously.

Kid made a grim face that answered her questions, but he still elaborated. "You know I sent them a letter when they died, but even though some time had passed, they hadn't recovered from the blow of losing their children. Mrs. Simmons looked twice her age since I last saw her. The poor woman had lost her husband and daughter in just a few years, and it was obvious that after living high off the hog, she wasn't coping with her new financial situation very well. Talking to her, though, wasn't as bad as dealing with Garth's parents. Mr. Maxwell wanted to know in detail how his son had met his death, and… Lou, I had to lie!" Kid exclaimed, his anguished eyes searching for his wife's. "How could I tell the Maxwell's that Garth had become a crook, a criminal, and his greed had been the cause of his death? I couldn't, and I just told them Gath had been shot dead when he had surprised a couple of rustlers trying to steal his horses."

"You did the right thing, Kid," Lou whispered, rubbing his shoulders encouragingly. "The truth wouldn't have given them their son back. Garth might have been a rogue, but that wasn't anybody's fault, and his parents didn't deserve that pain and shame."

"That's what I thought," Kid muttered.

As Kid kept quiet after his last comment and did not seem eager to talk, Lou urged him once again, "And what happened then, Kid?"

"At the end of the week I returned to the recruitment office. I was assigned to the 42nd battalion Virginia Cavalry…"

"Seventh unit, company C," Lou finished for him, and at Kid's curious stare, she added, "I read your letter… all your letters."

"I thought you'd burned them, or in the very least, torn them off."

Lou shook her head. "They're still in one of my drawers at home, and if they're worn out, it's because of all the times I've read them. I think I could say every sentence and word by heart."

"You're really full of surprises," Kid remarked half-heartedly. "That's not what I imagined you'd do after I got that fierce telegram of yours. But I wrote to you anyway."

Lou blushed awkwardly as he mentioned the telegram in which she told him she did not want him to come back to her. "I… I was angry, upset, and…"

"You wanted to punish me," Kid finished for her this time. "You already told me, and congratulations on that. You did succeed for sure."

"I… I'm sorry," Lou muttered sincerely, lowering her eyes as she realized what her blind anger had pushed her to do. She imagined Kid receiving her spite, her words of scorn, all alone, and thousands of miles away from his dear ones. And she had removed her love like a brat throwing a tantrum. Now as she thought of him, feeling lonely and turned down by the woman who swore to love him for as long as she lived, Lou felt like crying.

Kid put a finger under her chin, and lifted her eyes to him. "Don't apologize or feel bad, honey. That's in the past, and will remain there. We both made mistakes, and I think we've learned from them a lot."

Louise nodded, and smiled sheepishly. The few letters that she got from Kid and still kept told her about his days in the battalion, the training, the other men, and his undying for her. Yet, there was something she longed to ask him, but the mere idea scared her. Yet, her desire to know was stronger, and she finally questioned, "Kid, what happened that day… the day you went missing?"

Kid stared at her bright eyes in the dark for a few seconds, and taking a deep breath, he then said, "Let me start from the beginning."


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Kid opened his mouth to talk, but stopped when he felt Louise's body tremble. "Are you cold, Lou?" he asked, rubbing her bare arms up and down.

"A bit," she admitted softly.

"Let me get another blanket then," Kid offered, and easing out of bed, he walked to the wardrobe where there were extra blankets. Then he spread it over the length and width of the bed, making sure that Louise was warm and cozy. "Better?" he asked as he lay back down beside her.

"Much better… now," Louise replied, wrapping her arms around his torso. Then without a warning, she leaned across and joined her lips to his. Her touch was soft and tentative, but as Kid invited her to deepen the kiss, she let herself get carried away. Hunger and thirst for each other was evident in the way they responded and felt. The kisses continued passionately, ardently, as they moved at the familiar pace of their hearts. Lou's hand snuck under his long john top and eagerly explored his bare skin while Kid stroked the curves shaping her hips. Without stopping adoring her lips, Kid rolled Louise over and had her lie on her back.

Knowing that he had to force himself to make a break now, or there would be no stopping, he whispered breathlessly. "Lou…" His lips softly brushing hers as he spoke, "Do you really want me to carry on? You know I long for you, and if we keep going, I don't think I'll be able to stop."

"And we agreed to talk," she said softly, her expression denoting she wished she had bitten her tongue when she had voiced that promise. "I… I want you… so much."

Kid smiled, caressing her face softly. "Me too. It's been almost ten years since the last time. But Lou, I really want you to know who this man you're ready to join your body and soul to really is. I've changed in many ways from the boy you first met, and most of the changes are due to everything I lived during the war. Maybe when you hear my story, you'll change your mind again, and be willing to file for a divorce."

Lou did not like the sound of his words. It was true that too many years had gone by, but she felt in her heart she knew Kid, and nothing he could say would make her think less of him.

"I'm ready to listen," Lou finally said.

Kid shifted and moved from his position hovering over her, and rested on his side. Louise snuggled closer to him, wrapped her arms around his strong torso, and snuck her right leg between his. "Oh Lou you're killing me?"

"Are you uncomfortable?" Louise asked, feigning ignorance about what his comment meant.

"Too comfortable… so much that I might forget all that about getting reacquainted. Please just don't move too much."

Lou grinned, and as their amused eyes met, they both burst out laughing, clear, natural laughter that reverberated in the whole room. Lou realized that it was the first time in a long time she felt good about herself, and the black clouds haunting her mind were not so dark tonight.

As laughter died down, Lou kept smiling while she said, "I'm here, Kid. Talk to me."

Kid's merry expression suddenly vanished, and his eyes adopted a strange far away expression. "In April 1863 I had already seen so much death and cruelty that…" Kid sighed, and raked his fingers through his hair almost frantically. "Blood and death had become part of our existence as much as eating or sleeping. Your words in that letter accompanied me every day, and I always woke up in the morning muttering, _'You were so right, Lou.'_ "

"I'm so sorry," Louise voiced, caressing and smoothing the tense lines forming on his forehead.

"A few months before I'd been made the captain of my unit, something I took little pride in," Kid continued. "My men respected me, but I could hardly share the feeling."

"Why, Kid?"

"I… I felt as if I were in hell and fighting a war that was not mine anymore," he mumbled. Again his silence dominated the room, and Lou could see the emotions and the pain battle in his head as his face was a clear mirror of his insides. Shaking his head very slowly, he said, "Oh Lou, I've killed so many men… men who surely had families waiting for them at home. I've left so many children orphaned, so many wives widowed, so many families scarred. How could I feel respect for myself? How?"

Tears shone in Lou's eyes as she heard her husband. Never before had he sounded so distraught, and Louise felt moved by his pain and own fight. "That's war, Kid. You can't blame yourself because you were just doing your duty… maybe a cruel and unfair one, but a duty anyway. None of those men would have hesitated to do the same against you, and now "I" would be a widow." Lou's voice trembled and her body shivered as her own words made her relive the horrible months during which she had believed Kid was gone from this life.

Kid refrained himself from saying that for a long time he had thought it might have been better if he had been killed. Letting out another sigh, he continued, "In fact, by then I hadn't even started to taste what war was really like. That was just the beginning, and the worst was about to come."

"Tell me about it, Kid."

The Southerner nodded. "That day the view before us was a hellish sight. The sounds of gunfire deafened the cries of the hundreds of men finding their deaths. We were in Spotsylvania County, near Chancellorsville."

"I read about it before I even got that horrible letter," Lou whispered. "The newspaper said it was a big defeat for the union, and thousands of men had died."

"There were too many casualties on both sides," Kid continued. "You can't even start to imagine what it was like. A carpet of corpses covered the bleeding fields at the end of every day in that week, and the smell of burned skin and blood was so powerful that it remained in your nostrils almost as a constant reminder of what kind of creatures we've become." Kid paused and, noticing the pallor in Lou's countenance, he grimaced. "I'm sorry, honey," he said, softly stroking her face with his calloused hand. "There are things that should have remained there and be kept here," Kid added, tapping a finger on his head.

"No! I want to know…" Lou exclaimed. "Don't keep anything from me, please."

Kid nodded reluctantly. "All right."

"What happened to you, Kid? What happened to my husband?"

Kid breathed out, trying to muster the courage to relive a part in his personal history he would rather forget. "The battle had been going on for days. My unit was scattered over an area of woodland. The enemy…" Kid paused, and rectified. "The others were too close. Bullets whizzed past too near, and we tried to defend our position. Jack Martin was a few feet from where I knelt behind some bushes. Jack was a reliable fella, and we had struck some kind of friendship almost by chance. A few months before he had received a letter from his family. Since he had very little schooling, he asked me to read it to him. It was from his mother telling him about his wife's death. Apparently she had been suffering some heart disease for years."

"Oh Kid."

"Yes, too sad," he continued. "Naturally, Jack crumbled down, bawling like a child. He was a big man, twice my size, and it was heartbreaking to see him so lost. I did what I could to offer him some inadequate comfort. At some point, I also ended up telling him my story with you. Jack was convinced you were just bluffing, and would be waiting for me. I guess he was right."

Lou gave him a small smile. "What happened to Jack, Kid?"

"Among the sounds of bullets, I heard a loud explosion. We were used to the thunder of cannons in the distance, but this sudden blast felt too close. My eyes moved to the direction the explosion seemed to come from, and realized I was right. Men were shouting, yelling, broken cries that reached my ears unintelligibly. My experience told me we had to pull out. I gave the order as loud as possible to get my men to hear me, and when I turned to look at Jack, he was not where I'd last seen him. He was lying on the ground. A bullet had hit him, and blood profusely seeped through the wound in his stomach."

"Oh Kid…"

"I couldn't leave him there as he weakly demanded I did. He was a big man. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to lift him over my shoulders, much in the same way I did that time I found you wounded so many years ago. Of course I was younger then, and you didn't weigh nearly as much as Jack." The sweet memory of the beginning of his love story with Lou mixed with the bitter fruits of war brought about a strange kind of expression on his face, which was half-way between a sad smile and a scowl. "I managed to carry Jack for longer than I thought, and when I didn't have a single ounce of energy in my body, I had to put him back on the ground."

Kid stopped and closed his eyes in a futile attempt to block the terrible images bombarding him. "And what happened?" Lou's voice managed to penetrate the haze dominating his mind.

Kid opened his eyes again. "A union scouting party fell over us. I shot at one of them, but I couldn't do much. Before I could react, one of the men knocked me out with the butt of his rifle, and I passed out. I never saw Jack again. I was told after quite a long time that he was found dead just where I had left him."

"I'm so sorry, Kid. So sorry," Lou exclaimed, hugging him close.

"Yes, me too," he muttered. "When the war finished, I decided to go and pay my respects to his parents. It wasn't easy. They had lost their only son to the war. Jack's two children were living with them, so in a way I think both the kids and the adults were filling a vacuum for each other."

Louise nodded in agreement. "At least those poor children have somebody to care for them," Lou muttered, feeling in her very soul how excruciating being an orphan had been for her. She sighed, and added, "It was then that they sent you to that war prison, and everybody thought you were dead?"

Kid nodded slowly. "I was there for almost a year, but it felt like ten. If being in the battlefield was terrible, this place was just indescribable. It was there where I reached my limit, and I sank to the lowest trenches of my soul. To say the conditions in that place were hell is a clear understatement and so far from the true reality that it could even be a lie. Every day men died by the dozen from starvation and disease, and I feared that I would find my end in those sordid dungeons. I wasn't afraid of death, but at night I prayed to God I remain alive… I… I couldn't leave this world without seeing you again. Life couldn't be so cruel. That became my personal battle. It was me against the rotten world, and I became an animal. I used every trick to resist, and like a vulture I fought my own brothers for a miserable chunk of bread. I'd even have killed anybody for those crumbs. Eating every day was important to keep alive, but nobody could do anything against disease. In the end, despite my efforts to keep a grip on life, I came down with some powerful fevers, and felt sick. I remember seeing your beautiful face in my feverish dreams, and I cried… cried bitterly as I thought this was my end while you were so far away. I regretted leaving you with my whole heart, and trading all the years, months, days, and hours I could have spent with you for a miserable death."

"But you're here now, Kid!" Lou exclaimed, cutting him off as he was getting too upset. "We are together now, and that's what matters. You said it yourself. We need to leave the past behind, and forget about that year… those horrible years."

Kid rubbed his tired, wet eyes with his balled hands. "I still can't believe I survived," he muttered. "I'd have died for sure if they hadn't accepted that exchange. Prisoners' swapping had stopped months ago between sides, but this was an exception. I don't know why. I can't really remember much of what happened on those days."

"You were then sent to a hospital as you said in your letter," Louise added.

Kid nodded. "I was there for too many months. The atmosphere and the views around me weren't much nicer than in the prison, but at least I felt more normal. I managed to dodge death, but I'm afraid it hadn't become a total stranger. I was surrounded by death in my new lodgings, but after years of this routine, it didn't impress me at all."

Lou snuggled up even closer as if an inch between their bodies was too long a distance. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that alone. You must have felt so lonely."

"During my stay there I got a letter from Rachel," Kid dropped unexpectedly. "It wasn't really the person I hoped to hear from."

Louise blushed, silently accepting the slap his words delivered. "What… what did she say?" she whispered, wondering why Rachel had never said a word about that letter. If she came to think of that, it wasn't that strange, because back then she and the station mistress had been quite at odds.

"You know, the usual. She was happy I was alive and fine, and told me a bit about how things were in Rock Creek."

"Did … did she mention me? " Lou dared to ask bashfully.

"You're my wife, Lou. How could she not mention you?" Kid replied, unable to hide his irritation as he brought back to mind those moments from the past. "She went on and on about how hard it had been for you to think I was dead and also that my letter had literally brought you back to life." Kid paused and then added. "That gave me hope, and that was why I believed I could go back to you. It also made me hope for a second letter… one from you, a letter that never arrived."

The shame and pain she was feeling right now was such that a sharp, brief tug contorted her stomach at the same time as tears blurred her eyes. She pursed her lips tightly together in a vain attempt to dampen her misery, but in the end a sob escaped her control that racked her petite body.

"Lou!" Kid exclaimed mortified, softly cupping her face in his hands. "Please don't."

"I'm so sorry! So sorry!" Louise bawled. "I did want to write to you, and I even considered riding all the way from Rock Creek to where you were. I swear it's true!"

"Lou, please…"

Even though Kid tried to break in, Louise would not even hear his poor attempts. "Every night a heap of crumpled, discarded pieces of paper lay scattered over my table, because I wasn't sure what to tell you. After many days I managed to write one, but.. but… but I couldn't send it… I just couldn't… I just couldn't."

"Lou… Lou, listen to me," Kid finally managed to speak up, and tilting her face, he made her meet his eyes. "Lou, I ain't recriminating you anything. We agreed to be honest and tell each other everything. That was what I felt back then, but it ain't my intention to hurt you. We have both suffered too much alone. I don't want to add more pain to your full hands. I would never harm you, you know that. I told you before. The past will remain there… in the past, but I think we need to leave things in the open before those wounds might start to fester. But if this upsets you too much, I can stop, and…"

"No, I… I'm fine," Lou replied, sniffing and wiping her eyes with an edge of the sheet. "I can also express my sadness now, can't I? Please don't stop."

"Are you sure?"

"Please carry on. Talk to me. Please."


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Everything was in silence. It had been hours since Kid and Louise had found shelter in his hotel room, and the voices of people and the neighing of horses outside the window had diminished to nothing long ago. It was about three o'clock in the morning, and the only sound breaking the silence was Kid's deep voice.

"When I was released from the hospital and returned to my unit, I could really tell very notable changes had taken place in that almost year and a half. Before I was made a prisoner, we all believed that the south would easily win the war. Yet, after years of fighting, we were resigned to lose. People were tired, disappointed, and totally embittered. I could tell nobody cared who the victors or the losers would be. In a way, every side, north and south, had already lost too much, and the victory would mean little. The men just wanted all this to finish and go home."

"How long ago was this before the end?" Lou asked.

"Five or six months," Kid replied. "A few months that felt like years. Sometimes I thought the war would never end. I then remembered something I learned at school, the Hundred Years' War. A hundred years fighting! Imagining that long perspective made me wish to die. Every day I replayed in my head all our terrible fights before I left. You always said I'd be ruining our chance to a real life, to a family… Those words kept torturing me every day. You had been so right, and I thought that if the war lasted dozens of years, our dreams would be destroyed. I even had nightmares about it, but fortunately, the war did finish in the end."

"Kid, I also had a part in ruining our chances," Lou remarked bitterly.

"Not everything is ruined," Kid replied, taking her hand and squeezing it between his. "It ain't too late. We have our whole life ahead of us. This morning when I went to see that lawyer, I remembered your words again, and how they had become a reality. I also realized that despite the years apart, I still cared for and missed you. I hated going to that lawyer, and standing before him to say I wanted to break my ties to you. And now…" Kid paused as his smile grew bigger and his eyes stared at her as if he could not believe what he was seeing. "Now you're here, and I feel like the luckiest man on earth."

Louise smiled shyly. "I made us waste so much time," she muttered.

"What matters is what we will do from now on," Kid replied.

Lou nodded. They would also have to talk about what steps they were ready to take after tonight, but first she needed to listen to the rest of Kid's story. "What happened after I made you leave Rock Creek?" she asked sadly.

"I can't lie to you, Lou. I was very hurt because I had dreamed so much about seeing you again, and even though I felt I didn't deserve you, I really hoped you still loved me and would be glad I had returned to you," Kid said. "Maybe you're right, and I gave in too easily. Maybe I should have resisted your coldness, and fought for you more."

"Don't blame yourself because it was just 'my' fault," Lou replied, voicing her acceptance of her responsibility in their problems for the first time.

"The truth is I shared some of your feelings too, Lou. I believed I had sinned against our love, our marriage, and this was my punishment. I felt you were right to kick me out of your life."

"Don't think like that, because that ain't true," Lou reassured him.

Kid nodded slowly. "I wasn't sure where to head for when I left Rock Creek. I was not well in here," he said, placing a hand over his heart. "I'd lost what I loved most in the world, and a life without you made little, if any, sense."

"I know it's hard to believe, but it didn't make sense for me either," Lou whispered.

Kid stared at her, expecting to hear more about what she had felt in those days, but when she did not elaborate, the Southerner continued, "Anyway, I ended up in Fort Kearney." Louise nodded, already in the know where he lived. "I really considered returning to Virginia, but there was nothing there for me, and naively I also thought I couldn't go too far from you. I foolishly hoped that maybe you qould change your mind about us, or I might feel brave enough to try my luck again at some point. The months that passed without a word from you proved me wrong, and I just didn't have the courage to face another refusal. I settled in Fort Kearney, and I guessed this town was as good or bad as any other."

"I… I should have followed my heart," Lou muttered, her cheeks tinted by shame and mortification. "When I learned you were gone, my heart pushed me to go after you, but my stupid pride wouldn't let me. I lived miserably because of my damn pride!"

"We both did," Kid said in a soft voice. "I tried to live without you… I really tried, and I suppose I survived in some way. When I reached Fort Kearney, I started looking for a job, but it wasn't easy. There was a latent hostility everywhere against anything that was even remotely linked to the defeated side in the war. My accent always gave me away, and as soon as I opened my mouth, I was asked if I had fought for the south, and I couldn't lie. So naturally, I kept being turned down at every door."

Lou shook her head morosely. "That wasn't fair… I can't really talk because I didn't treat you much better, and I was your wife, the woman who swore to love you forever."

Kid did not like the way she kept whipping herself at every chance, and something told him Louise had been torturing herself about the same for longer than he might have thought. This did not sound like a first time thing. Feeling he had already reiterated his understanding and forgiveness too many times already, Kid simply took her hand and brought it against his lips to kiss it. "You've always been a true woman, too true to betray your own feelings. But this war also defeated you… defeated us, but I hope, we can rebel against it now."

Lou managed to stretch her lips into a sad smile. "What did you do in Fort Kearney? That man you were talking about the other night at Rachel's… Did he hire you?"

"Mr. Granger… yes," Kid replied. "He owned a huge horse ranch, but he also raised cattle, and other farm animals. I heard he was hiring, and I hoped I could have a chance. It turned out he wanted someone to work with his herd of pigs. The job mainly involved cleaning the sties, feeding the hogs, and looking after them. Pigs are tough animals, and dealing with all these animals wasn't a piece of cake, not like with horses. I ended up every day totally exhausted. The pay wasn't too good, but at least it was enough for me to get by."

"I'm sorry, Kid."

"I'm not, Lou," he contradicted her. "It was a decent job, and at the end of every day I really felt useful. For the first time in too many years I felt I was doing something good, and I needed it so much." Kid paused for a second. "I did that for a few months until one day Mr. Granger happened to see me around the horses once. I sometimes snuck to the stables at night to just admire and see the beautiful animals my boss owned."

"Like you did with Katy," Lou remarked. Kid nodded slowly, and Louise added, "You know, Katy's in Seneca."

The expression of surprise Kid gave her was priceless, and she almost laughed. "Wh… what?" he exclaimed, and before Lou could say anything, he added, "When I returned to Rock Creek for Rachel's wedding, and I didn't see her at the stables, I thought the worst… I didn't even dare to ask."

"I didn't mean to take her. She's yours, and belongs to you. Yet, when I was getting ready to move from Rock Creek, you know, loading the wagon, and hitching up the horse, she seemed to feel we were abandoning her. She got agitated, kicking the stall door over and over, and even though I tried to calm her down, it was useless. She even broke the door, and we had to leave her in another stall. And when I was finally driving away with my siblings, I could hear her desperate neighing from the distance. Call me silly, but I kept thinking it wasn't right we both abandoned her. Tessie and Miah looked at me as if I was committing a horrible crime. So I pulled the reins, and drove back for her."

Kid smiled. "I don't think you're silly. I'm glad she's with you… my favorite girls together."

"I don't understand why you didn't take her with you, Kid."

The Southerner shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I just wanted to punish myself."

Lou shook her head. "Fool," she scolded lightly, tapping him on the head. Kid smiled, accepting her criticism. "So what happened with Mr. Granger?"

"That night we had a conversation, and as he asked me about my interest in horses, I told him all about my time at the Pony Express. Mr. Granger didn't believe me at first. He thought I was lying, so he wanted to prove me wrong. 'Let's see what you can do on a horse.' So under the starry night I rode one of his stallions, and showed him what I've learned from Teaspoon and from my own experiences back then. The expression of Mr. Granger's face reminded me of Teaspoon and all of us when on that very first day you jumped on Lightning and proved what a skilled rider you were… you are."

Lou smiled at the memory. "So you impressed him?"

"I guess I did. He then offered me to join his team of men who worked with his beautiful horses. You can imagine I was thrilled, but then the whole thing started quite awkwardly."

"Why?" Lou asked. "You're great around horses. I can't think of anyone better than you."

"Well, it wasn't that, actually. The other men… they didn't welcome me too gladly. You know, I was just the hog fella, and they never accepted me as one of them. They were all a bunch of arrogant, envious men I never got along with. When I got this new job, I moved from the humble hut where I lodged with a couple of shepherds, and I went to share a bunkhouse with my new fellows. I first hoped it could be similar to those times we enjoyed during the Pony Express, but it was nothing alike. I hated sharing that space with them."

"Nothing can compare to what we shared back then. That was a one-time thing."

Kid nodded. "All of them treated me as if I was less than them, especially Hank. He was the foreman, and he just couldn't stand the idea that Mr. Granger sometimes sought my company for a chat. In fact, my boss was the only person I felt comfortable talking to, and he was really interested in my views and opinions. He is a bit like Teaspoon, who seems to know a lot about everything."

"I can imagine what kind of man Hank was. Your friendship with Mr. Granger must've annoyed him," Lou remarked.

"Very," Kid replied. "And to make matters worse, there was Mr. Granger's daughter."

At the mention of a woman Lou's attention perked up. "His daughter?" she echoed in a voice that clearly denoted that her interest was more than curiosity.

Kid sighed, realizing he had been talking without thinking. Running his fingers through his hair a few times nervously, he added, "Uh… it's difficult to talk about these things to your wife. Uh… Gloria… that is, Mr. Granger's daughter normally came to the stables every day to pick up a horse for her daily ride. She was a good rider… not like you, or course, because you're out of the ordinary." Lou did not budge at his flattery as her heart was speeding and her cheeks flamed, fearing the worst. Her mind kept crying wordlessly, begging in silence he didn't tell her what she dreaded most.

"We sometimes talked about unimportant things," Kid continued. "She was a nice girl, but after a while little by little I noticed things… I realized that she…"

"She liked you," Lou finished for him in a dead serious tone, feeling her eyes sting with the tears she stubbornly chocked back. "And did you?"

"No!" he almost cried. "No, I swear I didn't, Lou. Gloria was a good woman, but I couldn't think of her as anything else but a friend. I was already married to you, and despite everything, I couldn't betray you even more." Kid paused for a second. "Lou, I never took off my wedding band," he added, showing his hand and the ring glowing on his finger. "But I never mentioned you because… it hurt too much. So people thought I was a widower."

Louise nodded, understanding what he was saying, but despite his assurances, her fear did not diminish. "What happened between you and Gloria?"

"Nothing, Lou. I swear," Kid replied. "I tried to avoid her, but she always found me somehow. You know, it ain't easy to shun your boss's daughter without being blatantly rude. I felt quite uncomfortable with the situation, and her hints got more and more obvious." Kid paused for a second. Telling Lou that one day Gloria had suddenly kissed him was not a good idea. And he could not say either that he had been too tempted to forget he was married. He was a man after all, and feeling lonely all these years had made him yearn for some loving. That would just cause Lou useless suffering, because nothing had happened between him and Gloria, nothing at all. He had said no, but he had realized he had to handle the matter delicately. "I decided to talk to her father."

"Her father? Why?"

"Lou, I'm not very knowledgeable about women, but I do know you ladies don't take refusals right because it ain't very gentlemanlike to say no to a woman. I didn't want to humiliate Gloria," Kid explained. He still remembered the time Doritha had appeared in Rock Creek and made passes at him. Her strong reaction to his refusal still stung his pride whenever he replayed the memory in his mind. "Naturally my intention was not to complain to Mr. Granger about his daughter's attitude. I just wanted to clear the air. So one night when I was talking to him, I casually dropped that I was married, and I told him about my situation with you. His face told me he was disappointed at learning about my truth, so I guessed he was aware of his daughter's feelings in all this matter. Mr. Granger even hinted that if you and I were already separated, we should make it permanent and get a divorce."

"And what did you say?" Louise asked eagerly.

Kid smiled, and stroked her cheek. "I told him I still believed we could sort out our problems one day." Louise did not know whether to smile or cry, but he saved her from the dilemma as he continued. "My conversation with Mr. Granger worked, and Gloria changed, and her hints stopped. Yet, I'm afraid all this had very nasty consequences."

"You mean for you?"

Kid shook his head morosely. "For Gloria," he muttered. "I didn't know at the time, but Hank was sweet on her, but all his attempts to approach her were always turned down. Hank hated my guts, so you can imagine how he must have felt when he noticed Gloria paid me special attention."

"I can share the feeling," Lou said truthfully. Even though she did not know Gloria, and nothing had happened between her and her husband, Louise could not help but being stirred by deep jealousy.

"I don't think so, Lou," Kid contradicted. "Hank was a bitter, mean man. He only thought about himself, nobody else. Please don't ever compare yourself to him."

Louise was struck by the seriousness in his words. "What ain't you telling me?"

Kid inhaled deeply. "One night Hank returned to the ranch after spending all his pay on booze. He must have been blind drunk when he ran into Gloria at the stables. And then he… he attacked her."

Lou's hand flew to her mouth in total shock. "Oh my God!"

"It was a nasty business. The worst was that Mr. Granger walked in on them. That beast was abusing his daughter. Can you imagine what that can do to a man? I can put myself in his shoes, and I understand why he did what he did. I imagine he was totally blind with rage, and no wonder he drew out his gun and …"

"Killed him," Lou whispered, guessing the end of her husband's account.

Kid nodded. "There was an inquiry, naturally, and Mr. Granger was cleared. Since then things changed for the worse. Gloria became a prisoner in her own home. She stopped riding, or much anything else… she never went out, and became almost a hermit. Mr. Granger suffered almost as much, or even more."

"What do you mean?"

"This whole thing devastated him. I can rightly imagine that seeing what that animal had done to his vibrant daughter day by day is more than what a man can handle." Kid explained. "Gloria is his only family. His wife died years ago. After this happened, he lost the sense in life. So he started neglecting his business. With Hank gone, Mr. Granger decided I should take that place, and I tried to do my best, and I think the whole thing would've gone to rack and ruin much earlier if we, his workers, hadn't tried so hard. But however much we did to help, he was the boss and the owner. In two years he customers decreased to half, and months later he was bankrupt."

"Didn't Gloria get over her… her attack in all that time?" Lou asked. "I know it never goes completely, but time helps, especially if you have the right people by your side."

Louise gave him a small, sad smile, as a shiver coursed all throughout her body. Memories of her most terrible moment popped in her mind but those images now appeared linked to more gentle ones, when she had confessed her dark secrets to her now husband.

Kid placed a soft kiss on her cheek, and squeezed her hand encouragingly. "Last time I saw her she seemed to be doing much better, but her father didn't cope with his own demons so well. You women are way stronger than us men."

"We're just prouder. We just can't let ourselves be ruined by those despicable beasts that call themselves men. We need to win over them, or otherwise, we'll be defeated forever," Lou stated firmly.

"It was Mr. Granger himself who talked me into trying my luck in the business. I was reluctant… I was unsure if I could pull it off, and, you know, this was something we said we'd do together. But Mr. Granger spoke with such conviction that he finally persuaded me. He helped me find a nice piece of land, and I didn't stop to think too much even though I was still wary. It was quite a lot of money, and I had to get a mortgage. So right now the bank owns most of my property, but one day hopefully it'll be mine… it'll be ours."

Lou smiled as he corrected himself. "I know it will. I have no doubts in your capability and value."

"Things are going slow at the moment, but it's doing good," Kid replied.

"I'm really glad. You deserve it," Lou said with a big smile.

"And that's my story. Last month I got Rachel's letter. I hesitated for weeks. I didn't know if you'd be here as well, and if you actually were, I asked myself if I wanted to see you. I even wondered what I felt for you after all these years. I believed we needed to talk things through, and sort out our messy marriage. That was what made my mind up in the end."

"And what do you feel for me, Kid? Do you know now?"

Kid smiled, cupped her face in his right hand and looked into her eyes. This would be the first time in years he would voice his deep feelings, and he wanted to do it right. "I love you, Lou," he whispered, praying she could read the truth in his simple words.

"And I love you too. I never stopped… I swear I…"

"Shh," Kid gently shushed her flood of words by placing a finger on her lips. He smiled again, and soon his own lips replaced his finger. They kissed softly but intensely for a few minutes. When they pulled away, they remained locked in each other's arms. Louise pressed her face against his chest, closing her eyes as she relished the wonderful feeling overwhelming her. "So Lou, now that you know everything, would you take me back? Will you be my wife again?"

Without moving from her position or even opening her eyes, she said, "I've always been your wife, Kid."

"Lou, you know what I mean."

Louise nodded against his chest. "I'll be your wife… forever… until I die, that is, if you still want me."

"Honey, you know I've wanted you almost since the beginning," Kid said, staring blankly at an unspecific point in the dark. "I don't quite remember what my life was like before I met you. Even without your physical presence all these years, you have always been with me. Maybe I should've gotten used to your absence, but I never could. Does that answer your question?" Kid kept quiet, waiting for her answer, but when she did not answer, he insisted, "Lou?"

Looking down at her, he noticed her deep intakes of air, and he realized she had fallen asleep. A smile lit up his face as he hugged her even closer. Tonight the demons had gone out of the window. His angel had restored his faith in love and life, and he knew for sure that tonight he would sleep better than he had done in the last ten years.


	15. Chapter 14

**Author's note: This chapter contains a scene in which a sexual encounter is described in quite a specific way, so if you don't like this kind of scenes, just skip it. The scene is marked in bold so that you know when you have to stop.**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

His eyes fluttered for a few seconds, and when he finally opened them, he felt disoriented for an instant. His senses gradually came back to Kid, and he then noticed an alien pressure around his chest. His gaze lowered, and his mouth stretched into a wide smile when the events from the night before unfolded in his mind as his eyes fell on Lou. She was sound asleep; her arms were tightly wrapped around his torso and her face buried on his chest, so from his position Kid could just see the nape of her head and her tousled short hair. The Southerner could not help himself, and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head almost at the same time as a series of knocks resounded in the silence.

It was then that he realized that he had not woken up on his own, but it was the insistent knocking that had interrupted his rest. The light timidly filtering through the window told Kid that it was still quite early, so he wondered who might be calling at his door at this time of the morning. Moving softly, Kid tried to disengage himself from Lou's hold without disturbing her sleep. Yet, the grip she had around his middle was too strong, and Kid eventually had to wake her.

"Lou, honey, there's somebody at the door, and I need to answer it."

Louise moaned, mumbled a few unintelligible words, and rolled over to the other side of the bed, burying her face in the pillow. Kid smiled, his heart warming at the sensation of familiarity this moment stirred in him. He still remembered their first months as a married couple. When for some reason they had a late night and went to bed later than usual, Lou always responded in the same way as she was doing now, muttering in her sleep, when he tried to wake her.

Kid almost laughed at the sweet memory. Some things never changed, and he felt like reaching for her and kissing her awake as he used to do in the old times. Yet, he paused. The thrill came not alone, and he also felt assaulted by a great dose of fear. Now Lou was sleeping peacefully in his bed, but what if tomorrow his bed was empty again? Life could change so fast, and the idea that he might lose her once again filled him with dread and anguish. It had taken so many tears, so much suffering, and too long to come to terms with the fact that Lou was not part of his life, and Kid believed he could not go through that ordeal another time. He had to think Lou was here to stay, and he was ready to do and sacrifice anything to make sure that their marriage would not sink now.

Some more insistent knocks snapped him out of his brooding. "Coming!" he called annoyed as he slid from under the bedding. For a few seconds, he remained seated on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes out of the deep tiredness he felt.

He then heard his name being called by a feminine voice, which came muffled by the protection of the wooden door, so Kid could not tell who it was. Rising to his feet, he finally dragged his body across the room as he repeated, "I'm coming!"

With a strong yank, he pulled the door open a crack, and his eyes opened in surprise when they spotted the person at the other side. "Rachel…" he exclaimed, and then he also noticed the woman was not alone. "And Jimmy. What are you doing here? Anything wrong?"

"Maybe… I hope not," Rachel replied. "It's Lou."

"Uh… Lou?" Kid echoed slowly.

"Nobody's seen her since last night," Jimmy explained.

Kid lowered his eyes, and focused them on his bare feet. His hand kept a strong grip on the doorknob, and his body blocked the view of the inside of the room. "I see. Well, you know her, and what a free spirit she is. She might be anywhere. I don't think there's reason to worry." He could simply come out and say that Lou was sleeping safely inside, but something pushed him to protect that new sweet secret of theirs. It was clearly foolish, but even though they were husband and wife, he did not feel comfortable revealing Lou had spent the night in his bed and with him.

"Kid, her bed hasn't been slept in," Rachel added. "Allan and Teaspoon have gone to find Buck and the others."

"We're gonna ride out and try to find her. We've checked around town, and there's no trace of her. You're coming with us, ain't you, Kid?"

The Southerner passed a hand over his face. "I think you're overreacting. I'm sure Lou's fine. She can take care of herself, and…"

"You've changed your speech all of a sudden," Jimmy retorted sarcastically, not a pinch of amusement in his tone. "You almost suffocated Lou with your almost insane worrying, and now you don't care two bits what happens to her!"

Kid was starting to feel annoyed. "You know that's not true!" he said between clenched teeth.

"Can you just put aside your problems with Lou just for once? Kid, we don't know where she is! This ain't like her at all, and we're so worried because she wasn't feeling too well yesterday."

Even though the Southerner knew that Louise was safe a few feet from where he stood, he could not help feeling concerned by Jimmy's words. "What? Lou wasn't feeling well?"

Jimmy did not seem to hear his friend's questions and continued, "Maybe she felt sick and might have fainted somewhere, or maybe she's been assaulted by some despicable drunkard, or maybe…"

"Or maybe nothing!" Lou's voice resounded from inside. Kid felt her small hand on his right flank gently pushing him aside, and Louise appeared by his side. She had thrown Kid's white shirt over herself to cover her scantily-dressed body. "Jimmy, stop badgering my husband. You know what he's like… always protecting a lady's honor. He seems to forget we're already married."

Kid gave her a strange, embarrassed smile. "I can never forget that, Lou."

Louise shook her head, and tapped him on the shoulder while she turned her eyes to Rachel and Jimmy, who were staring at her and Kid in stunned silence. "Rachel, please forgive me for this scare. I know I should've told you something last night, but it just slipped my mind. I just did what you advised me to. Kid and I started to talk. Then it got late. We came here, and I fell asleep. Sorry for worrying you."

Rachel could hardly believe her eyes, and it took her a few seconds to react to Louise's words. "It's… it's fine. I imagine we woke you up now, so please forgive us."

Lou and Kid shared a too obvious, goofy look, and Jimmy cleared his throat uncomfortable. "Shall we go, Rachel? There's nothing else to do here."

"Uh… yes, let's go find Teaspoon and Allan."

A few awkward goodbyes were exchanged, and Jimmy and Rachel made their way down the corridor while Lou said, "And again… I'm sorry."

Kid silently grabbed her by the elbow and steered her inside. When the door closed behind them, they locked eyes, and suddenly burst out cackling. Lou even had to rest her back against the door as she got out of breath from guffawing so hard. "Poor Rachel," she managed to let out among gasps.

Kid sobered when he remembered something. Taking a closer step, he reached out and removed an unruly tendril of hair from her face. "Jimmy said you weren't feeling well yesterday."

Louise rolled her eyes. "Don't start, please. I'm fine. My stomach just hurt a bit, that's all," she said, not intending to go into details about the reasons why she had suffered those pains.

"You sure you're okay?" Kid asked, taking another step. His body hovered over hers, and his hand pressed against the door close to her head.

"Do you think I could do this if I didn't feel fine?" she asked, and hooking her arms around his neck, she joined her lips to his in a hot kiss. Kid wrapped his own arms around her petite frame, feeling her warmth and vibrant body against him. He soon invited her to deepen the kiss, and she instantly followed his lead, avidly tasting and exploring what she had missed for so long.

As they stopped breathlessly after a few minutes, their eyes kept locked into each other. Lou smiled as she broke the silence, "I don't think Rachel and Jimmy believed we'd just been talking all night long."

"I suppose not," Kid softly whispered.

"We shouldn't disappoint their imaginations, don't you think?" she added, grinning flirtingly. Her cheeky expression suddenly turned into seriousness as she repeated what he had already confessed to him a few hours ago. "I want you, Kid. I want you now."

**The hunger shining in his eyes responded to her own desires. His hand slowly reached to touch her face, and he kept staring at her as if she were some kind of ethereal apparition that might vanish into thin air at any moment. "Kid, I'm here," Lou said, getting increasingly anxious.**

**He smiled bashfully. "It's been so long, Lou, and I'm feeling nervous. I really want our first time after all these years to be good and pleasant."**

**"It's gonna be perfect," Lou assured him, and taking hold of his hand, she led the way to the already slept-in bed. Louise stopped, and turned around towards her husband. Her eyes lifted to his, and as the couple stared at each other cravingly, her hands worked on the buttons of Kid's too big shirt she was wearing, which slipped from her shoulders onto the floor.**

**Kid leaned forward, and his lips nuzzled and kissed the sensitive area of her neck. Lou let out a moan of pleasure as his touch woke sensations within her that had been dormant for too long. His mouth softly travelled over her skin, almost reverently adoring every inch his lips caressed. Kid's fingers undid the small buttons at the front of her chemise, and Lou eagerly helped him shed the garment. As Louise appeared naked from the waist up, Kid stopped, and pulled back to admire her. "You're so beautiful," he whispered in a husky voice.**

**Lou smiled, and eased down across the width of the bed, spreading her arms in an open invitation. Kid discarded his long johns top, and pressing his hands on the mattress, he sank down to join her. His lips found hers once again. Lou's hands craved for him and zestfully brushed up and down his muscular back while they kept kissing with desperate ardor. Her bare breasts pressed against his chest, and through the flimsy material of her drawers, she could feel his desire for her.**

**"I love you," she panted among kisses, and his passion-stirring caresses. "I love you."**

**Longing to feel him completely, Lou placed a hand against his chest, pulled away, and made them roll over the bed so that Kid lay on this back and she was on top. Kid let out a groan of protest, missing her lips and her touch, as she shifted away from him and knelt on the bed next to him. Trembling with anticipation, Lou fumbled with the ribbon in her drawers until she managed to untie it and peel the unwanted garment from her body. Kid's eyes almost popped, seeing her in all her glory and his hand reached for her, eager to touch her beautiful body. Yet, she scurried away again, and stooping between his dangling legs, she gave his long johns bottoms a powerful yank, tearing the buttons holding them together in her eagerness to get rid of any barriers that could get in the way to be completely with her husband. She stood up, and her smoldering eyes hungrily all over his body to finally meet his gaze. The intensity in his blue orbs sent a shiver down her spine, and triggered her into action.**

**Without breaking eye contact, she straddled his waist. He was smiling and Lou responded with a girly giggle of her own. Lowering her face to him, she found his mouth again, and after a few minutes of relishing in his sweet lips, Lou's kisses made their way downwards. Kid grunted in pleasure as his wife took an active part in her loving ministrations, and made love to every inch of his skin. Her lips travelled from his shoulders to his chest, and at the same time her body moved, brushing momentarily against his manhood to finally sit on his thighs.**

**"Oh Lou, you're killing me."**

**Lou smiled and ignored his protest as she continued getting reacquainted with his body. Her mouth probed and explored every muscle, every crevice, every imperfection at the same time as her hands fondled the familiar terrain. She knew every scar marring his beautiful, strong body from all those times Kid had been wounded while running for the Express, but as her probing mouth reached his abdomen, she stopped as she noticed a new ugly scar in his lower stomach she had not seen before.**

**"Kid…" she breathed, lifting her eyes to him as her finger gently caressed the length of the mark.**

**He met her gaze, and without saying a word, he shifted and softly pulled Louise up towards him. They kissed again as they rolled across the bed, their arms and legs straining to touch each other and stay as close as possible. Lou finally came to rest her head on the pillow, and Kid hovered over her. Her legs wrapped around his waist, their eyes stared longingly at each other, and their faces merely an inch apart. "I love you, Louise McCloud."**

**"I want you now," Lou whispered breathlessly. "Please."**

**Kid nodded, placed a soft kiss on her check, and his intense gaze asked her a silent question. Lou closed her eyes, granting the permission he was requesting. He then unwrapped her legs from his waist and accommodated them in a better position flanking his sides. Louise let out a deep moan, and her body trembled as he entered her, and the realization of how lonely and empty she had felt all these years brought tears to her eyes. Kid noticed her tearful eyelids straightaway, and hesitated. When Louise felt his movements still, she opened her eyes and saw his concerned expression looking at her. "I'm fine," she whispered. "Please don't stop. I… it's just… I missed you so much… so much."**

**Fresh tears appeared on her eyes, and Kid tenderly kissed them away. His lips caressed her beautiful face until joining her mouth again while they confirmed the love they had sworn to each other so long ago in a very intimate, passionate oath. Their passion escalated and broke out among words of love, moans and sighs. Sweating and panting, they remained locked into each other's arms, their legs hugging, and their tired eyes chanting a happy, romantic tune. The room remained in silence, only broken by the sound of their ragged breaths and their husky voices, uttering promises of love and passion that would hopefully fill the emptiness and misery that had reigned in their lives for too long. Today marked a new fresh beginning and their hearts hoped that the road they had ahead now would be smooth, and a long one to get back all they had lost and missed on the way here.**


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

A bright smile shone in Louise's beaming face as she held onto Kid's arm proudly. The sun climbed high in the sky, weakly warming the earth below, and a cool breeze impregnated the town with its freshness. Arm in arm, Kid and Lou walked along the main street, looking as if they were newlyweds.

After their passionate and intense night together, they had slept in and even had a repeat of their love making before they had left the room. In the almost empty restaurant they had a late, relaxing breakfast. Later Louise had helped Kid pack his few things, and they had briefly stopped at the reception to pay for the room and leave the key.

Kid carried his saddlebags and bedroll in his left arm as he proudly boasted of his beautiful wife to the world. Lou lifted her bright eyes to him again, and looking at his baggage, she said, "I see you still travel light just like when we worked for the Express."

"I don't need much," Kid replied non-chalantly. "And right now I could even get by with less. I have you back, and that's all I care about."

Louise grinned coyly. "Are you sure you have the key then?" she asked as they directed their steps to the line of buildings at the end of the street.

"Yes, I'm sure, woman of little faith," Kid said, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. Lou giggled, and as they reached their destination, Kid dropped his bedroll on the wooden porch, and rummaged inside his saddlebags. When he finally found the key, he flaunted it before Lou's eyes. "See?" he asked before bending over and inserting it into the lock.

It was sheer luck he had brought the key along. After the war when he returned to Rock Creek, Rachel had handed him his belongings, which Lou had previously packed. Kid never understood why Louise had included the extra key for the house they had bought to build their home. Back then she still lived with her siblings there, and he had never learned why she had given him the key. Before coming to Rock Creek, Kid had taken the key with him because he had thought to give it back to Lou if he happened to see her during this visit. Naturally never had he thought he would be using the key to reenter his so-longed-for home with his wife. Actually, he was still in disbelief, and had to pinch himself from time to time and make sure he was not dreaming.

Kid unlocked and opened the door, and stepped aside. "After you, Ma'am," he said, stretching his arm pompously to the door.

Lou smiled, and hardly had she taken a step when she felt her body be lifted in the air by strong arms. "Kid!" she shrieked startled.

"Honey, we need to do this right," he said, securing his hold around her waist and under her legs. "You know the tradition. The groom carries the bride over the threshold of their home. I know it's been too long since we were newlyweds, but for me this is our fresh chance, a new beginning, and I feel as if we had just got married."

Louise grinned, and hooked her arms around his neck as he carried her into the dark interior of the house. Once inside wrapped in the shadows, they kissed more longingly and passionately than on their wedding night. When the extended kiss ended, their mouths remained together as they kept whispering sweet nothings and words of love like a mantra.

When Lou finally slid out of his hold, she quickly started opening the windows and shutters to let some light and air in. The living room looked like a drawing that had frozen in time. All the furniture was covered and protected by sheets, which gave the place a rather spooky appearance.

Louise removed the fabric from the sofa, and sank down onto it. "Rachel said that she had given the house a good cleaning, and I think we should do something later to get rid of this stuffy smell."

Kid had picked up his saddlebags and bedroll he had left outside, and came to sit down next to her. "Lou, why didn't you want to collect your things from Rachel's? I hope you don't plan to leave me here all alone tonight."

A goofy smile lit up her features, and scooting closer to him, Louise took his hand and intertwined her slender fingers between his. "I'm never gonna leave you alone. Never again. You're stuck with me now, cowboy," Lou said, and Kid's expression clearly showed he liked what he was hearing. "We'll have to go to Rachel's later anyway, but now I want to spend some quality time with my husband, and you know I'm not in the mood to answer all the questions we are likely to be bombarded with. We can't avoid them, but at least we can put that off for a while."

"You've always been very clever," Kid said, touching the tip of her nose with the index finger of his free hand.

Louise giggled and her eyes lowered to settle on their joined hands. Kid's gold wedding band shone brightly on his finger, and she shifted her eyes gloomily to gaze at her free, bare hand. "Kid?" she called hesitantly.

"Yes, honey?"

Before answering, Louise reached for her reticule, and disengaging herself from him, she started rummaging inside. Her fingers found a small embroidered pouch she kept her money in, and fished her smaller ring out of it, and showed it to Kid. "Will… will you put it back on me?"

Kid nodded. Taking the ring from her, he slid it onto her delicate finger, and brought it against his mouth, kissing it. Louise grinned happily, but her expression froze when he asked, "When did you take it off, Lou?"

"That doesn't matter, does it?"

"I just want to know. That's all. You know everything that happened to me in all these years, and I'd like to hear something from you," Kid replied.

"You haven't told me everything," Lou said, and as Kid frowned, she added, "How about that new scar I found?"

The Southerner sighed and heavily let his head drop against the sofa backrest. "I was in a war, Lou. It's almost impossible to get out of it alive without even a scratch." He turned his head back to her, and took her hand again. "What matters now is that I'm alive and here with you. And now, beautiful, it's your turn."

"My turn?" Lou echoed.

"Tell me when you took the ring off," Kid insisted stubbornly.

Louise finally relented. "I… I was so upset when you left, Kid. I was livid, and I even felt my heart was about to break into a million pieces. Then I saw your ring on my finger, almost burning my skin. I furiously snatched it off, and tossed it away. The following weeks were like a strange, bad dream. All I remember is that I spent night after night crying my eyes out, and feeling so lonely and miserable." Kid reached out to caress her cheek, and Louise gave him a sad smile. "One night I had a horrible nightmare… terrifying. I woke up with suffocating anguish pressing my chest, and automatically my hand itched to touch your ring, but when I noticed my finger bare, I… I don't know. I totally panicked. It was three or so in the morning, and I got up from bed, and I started looking for it… checking every single corner of this very room where I faintly remembered I had been in when I shoved it away. I couldn't find it, and the next morning I moved all the furniture, but again my search was barren. I did the same in every single room."

"Where was it, Lou?"

She shook her head. "Nowhere," she answered. "I knew it should be someplace. This matter was driving me crazy, and I think Rachel, Teaspoon, and my siblings believed I was… especially when I hired Barry Willow."

"Hold on. I ain't sure I'm following you. What does the local carpenter have anything to do with this?"

"I… I wanted to tear up the whole floor and I even asked him to remove the skirting boards," Lou explained sheepishly. "I knew the ring was here, and I had to find it."

Kid looked down to notice for the first time that indeed the wooden floor looked smoother and less worn out than when they first bought the house. "And you did find it."

Louise nodded. "It had slipped through a small crack on one of the boards, and it was just under the floor. When it was back in my hands, I felt such relief you can hardly imagine. I started crying and kissed the ring, dusty or not, over and over again and I didn't care if Barry was standing before me. All I cared was that I had found my connection to you. Yet, absurd or not, I felt unable to wear it on my finger again. I don't know why. The touch of it left a burning sensation on my skin, but I always had to have it close by." Lou paused, and looking sheepishly at her husband, she asked, "Does it sound crazy to you?"

Kid shook his head. "I just think you took all that trouble because it was something important for us," he said. "Nobody can argue that all that effort made you worthy of that ring more than anybody." Kid shifted his gaze back to the floor again, and rubbed his right sole up and down the soft surface. "Changing this must have cost you dear."

"It took me a couple of years to pay Barry all his money," Lou replied. "That's when I found the job at the telegraph office. I realized I needed the money, and not just to pay Barry. Miah and Tessie depended on me, and I couldn't let them starve to death."

Kid stared at his wife as if a ton of bricks had fallen over him. "Lou, I left you enough money to get by for quite a while. You know that after paying for this house, we still were left with a good nest egg."

"But I didn't want that money. It's still in the bank."

"Why?" Kid asked in a serious tone, and when his wife kept quiet, he insisted, "Lou?"

"Don't you understand I was too angry with you?" Lou exclaimed. "I didn't want anything from you, not a single cent, even if part of that money was mine too. I… I thought you were just trying to ease your conscience."

"That ain't true," Kid replied, feeling deeply hurt by her words. "That money meant you could live comfortably. I wanted to make sure you were fine because I cared for you."

"I know that," Lou said softly, lowering her eyes. "I was too blind then, but to be honest, working again helped me in a way… I couldn't remain in the house all day long, brooding over your absence and my misery. I had to distract my mind somehow. Yet, working in that office day by day soared my anguish too."

"Why?"

"We got notifications from the army every week… telegrams and letters to communicate to families about the loss of their dear ones in battle. It was so hard to see those poor mothers, wives, and sisters completely shattered. I kept praying 'Please spare me of that pain. Keep Kid alive'. But the good Lord didn't spare me, or at least, He had the worst punishment for my pride and wrath on the way."

"I'm really sorry."

"When I got that letter, that horrible letter," Lou continued in a broken voice. "Oh God… you can't even start imagining what that did to me. It was as if all of a sudden everything around me had been destroyed… as if the world had gone eerily quiet, and all I could hear was silence and my pain… the horrible voice of pain. Then that silence filled with noise… so much noise that I thought I'd go crazy. People and everything else continued moving, breathing… living as if nothing had changed. I hated everybody and everything, especially myself. I couldn't stop thinking about the way we parted … the cold way you had to leave without a word, a kiss or even a look. I tried to remember the last time we kissed, and I couldn't… I… I couldn't remember when my husband last wanted me." The final part of her speech came out as a sob, and Kid instantly reached for her and circled his arms around her shaking body.

"Lou, none of that matters now," he cooed softly. "I'm here, and I can kiss you any time, that is, if you let me. Please don't cry. I thought we had an agreement, and you promised there wouldn't be more tears."

Lou calmed down, and lifted her liquid eyes to him. "You're right," she croaked.

"I'm really sorry you had to go through that predicament and suffer unnecessarily," Kid replied. "When we got married, I swore to myself I'd make you happy, but…"

Louise placed her hand on his forearm to stop his flow of words. "Sometimes we can't choose, Kid. Life often doesn't let us," she said, and he nodded morosely. "But we also have a chance to turn the bad into something better, and I did just the opposite. I've had time to reflect upon those times lately. I admit I was too selfish. Yes, I was sad, shattered, devastated… I had a reason to be that way, and all I could think of was me and my pain."

"That's natural, Lou. When we hurt, we can't do much else," Kid tried to soothe her sense of self-hatred.

"I got sick," Louise blurted out, and as Kid's surprised eyes stared at her, she added, "I started feeling heartburn and dull pains in my stomach. I didn't pay them any mind. I hardly had any appetite, and ate even less, so I thought it was the lack of food that made me feel that way. But then the pains increased in frequency and intensity. I felt sick to my stomach most of the time and very weak. I even had to take to my bed eventually, but I refused to go to the doctor because… because… I didn't want to live, and I prayed with all my heart to be let to die."

"Lou…"

"Yes, I know. I was so selfish, totally selfish. One night Tessie came to my room, crying her eyes out, and begging me to let myself be helped. I still remember her exact words as if it had happened yesterday. It's strange. I don't really have any recollections from that time, but I do remember that. At twelve Theresa was still a little girl, but then she acted like an adult more than me. She was scared of being alone and without a family again if I died. I realized then what I was doing. My brother and sister counted on me, depended on me, and I hadn't given them a single thought since… since you left. Of course, needless to say, my little sister persuaded me to go to the doctor's. It turned out to be a stomach ulcer, and I survived. My stomach still bothers me from time to time, but I'm fine."

"Remind me to thank your sister when I see her," Kid remarked.

Louise gave him a sad smile, and kept quiet, deep in thought. "Kid," she called apprehensively after a while. "I … I want to show you something."

"All right."

Louise took his hand, and rising to her feet, she led the way towards the staircase. They climbed the stairs to the top floor. The corridor was in darkness, barely toned down by the reflection of the light coming from downstairs. All the doors were shut, and as Kid followed his wife's lead, holding onto her hand, he strongly suspected where they were heading. His suspicions proved to be right. Louise stopped before the door of what used to be their bedroom, and opened it. The inside was almost pitch dark, and letting go of her husband's hand, Lou walked in and opened the window and shutters. Light rushed in, and Kid's eyes squinted against the sudden brightness, and as they gradually got accustomed to the generous luminosity, the Southerner eagerly scanned everything around him.

Apart from the logical emptiness of an unlived-in room, everything was almost the same as he remembered. The white quilt that had been Emma's wedding present beautifully embellished their bed now. Kid felt a surge of melancholy shake his soul as he brought back to mind all the times he and Lou had shared this space. He could even hear in his head the sonorous ring of her laughter and even her emotional voice calling his name when they made love.

Kid forced himself to look away as the memories stirred too strong sensations in his body, and he directed his eyes to Lou. She had removed the sheet covering the beautiful dresser Kid had made for her just after their wedding. Louise started opening and closing drawers, clearly trying to find something, and the Southerner grew curious. "What are you looking for?"

Louise ignored his question. "I know I left it here," she said instead as she kept rummaging in a drawer that strangely was not empty. "Oh… here it is!" she exclaimed.

Lou turned around, and Kid noticed she had an envelope in her hand. Stopping in front of him, Louise held it high for him to see. "I told you I'd written a letter to you, and this is it. When I left Rock Creek, I took everything I kept from you… your letters, a few photos, your presents, but I left behind what reminded me of my regrets and mistakes… like this letter," she explained in a soft voice.

"Lou…"

"I want you to read it," she said straightaway. "Please. I want you to see who your wife was back then."

"I already know."

"Read it," Lou almost ordered, cutting him off.

"All right. As you wish," Kid replied. He took the envelope from her, and sat down on the bed. His eyes studied the envelope in his hands. Time had left its mark on it, and the whiteness of the paper had faded into a yellowish shade, which intensified on the edges. Kid then ripped the envelope open, and took out the sheet of paper from inside. As he unfolded it, he smiled when he recognized Lou's handwriting. The ink had also faded, and two folding marks marred the smoothness of the paper from one end to the other. Kid rested his elbows on his knees and held the letter before his eyes, and as he finally dared to start reading, his heart began thumbing in his chest. There was nothing to worry about, and he knew as much, but then why could an old letter pose such a threat to his peace of mind?


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Louise bit the nail of her thumb as she sat down next to her husband. As she gently placed a hand on his thigh, Kid turned his eyes from the letter. Lou smiled nervously, and nodded her head in encouragement. The Southerner again shifted his head back to the paper in his hands, and started reading.

_My dearest Kid, _

_I can't really tell whether you are still mine, or if I have a right to call you dear, but if I overstep my limits, please forgive me. Your letter arrived weeks ago, unburying my pitiful soul from the grave where it had been since you went missing. I've been trying to fill this one with my words all this time, and with all the paper I've misused and discarded since then one could write one or two of those dime novels Cody liked so much. I'm not sure if this letter will end up in the same pile of crumpled paper, or even if I will get to finish it this time, I doubt I'll have the courage to post it._

_I've thought so much about you in these long, awful months I thought you were dead. I kept dreaming about everything we lived together, the good and bad times, and every single memory of yours came to tear my heart to shreds on the realization I had lost you. Losing you was my most dreaded nightmare that turned into a reality for too long. I became a widow too soon before I could even learn to be a wife. People came to me and offered their polite condolences, and all I wanted to do was shout 'Don't you understand? My husband ain't dead. He can't be'. I wanted to deny the truth that hurt so much, and believe you were alive because I felt nobody really understood. That was always our case, wasn't it? Nobody ever understood us and our love, not even those closest to us. I guess it didn't help that I chose to show just Lou to the others while you were the only one privy to see a glimpse of Louise. Maybe I also hid a part of her from you too, and I now long for a chance to show you Louise completely, without masks or shields._

_I'd love to have you here and tell you everything that lies in my heart. I know that after the way we parted and the only letter I wrote you must think I hate you, but please believe me. I love you with all my heart. I wish the war would finish soon because I can hardly wait for you to hear the words from my lips. I'll be waiting for you. Please keep safe, and when you return, we'll start making our dreams a reality. I know one day we'll be able to do what we wished for: the ranch we long for, a home full of children, and you in my life forever._

_Please, love, remain safe and come back to me, your wife who loves you more than life itself._

_I miss you with all my heart._

_Love_

_Your Louise_

As Kid finished reading, his whole body was trembling from emotion but at the same time his mind was reeling. Folding the paper again, he turned his eyes to Lou and said, "I don't understand."

"You… you don't understand?"

"What happened to you? This doesn't sound at all like the woman I found when I returned… I didn't find a woman longing to see me. What happened? What made you change your mind?"

"Nothing changed," Lou muttered. "I didn't actually change my mind."

"I want to understand you, I really do, but I find it difficult to see that the sweet person who wrote this was the same cold woman I saw in my return."

Lou blushed, feeling mortified because he was totally right. "I told you. I wanted to punish you and make you feel what I felt and realize what your absence did to me."

"Don't you think I didn't suffer your void too?" Kid asked, raising his tone slightly.

"I know you missed me, but leaving was your decision, not mine!" Lou retorted.

"What you say ain't fair."

"I know, but that's how I felt back then. After your liberation those nearly two years were endless and torturous. I was so lonely, and everywhere I looked people were happy and in love. Allan had started courting Rachel, and they were already talking about marriage. Teaspoon was seeing a widow who unfortunately died a few years later. Even Miah had a sweetheart. I was so miserable, and the feelings I got at the beginning of the war returned to me. I was angry, and blamed you for what I had to go through."

"And seeing me again after those years didn't soften your heart," Kid muttered.

"No!" Louise exclaimed, her bright eyes staring at him. "You're wrong! When I saw you there before me, I almost fainted. I was dying to throw my arms around you, touch you, and kiss you."

"You never budged," Kid reminded her.

Lou shook her head morosely; her eyes were downcast, focused on her hands resting on her lap. Kid looked at her, and knew she was fighting the tears.

"Lou, look at me," he softly called, taking one of her hands in his. As Louise timidly turned her eyes to him, he added, "I know we already talked about this last night, but this is too important. I want to know if you still hold a grudge against me."

Kid noticed her forehead crease and her eyebrows move together as she kept thoughtful. Lou was not taking his question lightly, and Kid knew she would give him an honest answer. "No, I don't," she finally replied.

"Lou, we need to be absolutely certain about this. We both made mistakes, and I'm ready to start fresh, without regrets. If we keep baggage, sooner or later that'll end up showing up and marring what we might have, and I don't want that."

Lou stared at Kid in horror as a rebellious tear managed to escape and roll down her cheek. "Are you… are you saying you'll leave me now if I can't assure you I can forget?" Lou croaked huskily.

"No…" Kid exclaimed too promptly, and then paused to rectify. "Lou, we've both suffered too much, and this is our chance at happiness. We have to start from scratch, really from scratch."

"I already told you. I love you, and I promised to do everything to be a good wife to you. And I want to forget these damn ten years ever existed."

Kid smiled a faint, almost unnoticeable smile. Lou's lower lip was trembling, and her face had grown extremely pale. "Lou, it's all right. You don't need to be strong for my sake." Louise gazed at him uncomprehendingly, and Kid added, "Cry… cry if you must."

As soon as his words were uttered, a sob escaped her lips, and a flood of tears overflowed her eyes. Reaching out for him, Lou tightly hugged him and buried her face in his chest, sobs racking her body. While Louise wept, Kid remained quiet and just stroked her head and her short hair encouragingly. He knew she needed to let the pain and pressure out. Hearing her sound so miserable made his own eyes moist, and however much it hurt him to see her suffering, he told himself he had to let her be.

After about ten minutes, Kid felt Lou relax and her sobs subside. Her wet eyes lifted to him, and they remained staring at each other. Then Kid cupped her face in his hands, wiped the trace of her tears from her cheeks with his thumbs, and finally caressed her lips with his in a soft kiss. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Lou muttered. "Thanks. I needed that. And I'm glad we've left things clear."

"Me too," he said, still with his arms around her petite frame.

"What else do you want to know?" Lou asked. The worst was already in the open, so she could as well tell him about the rest.

"What happened when I left Rock Creek?"

Lou nodded, and disengaging from his hold, she lowered her body and lay down across the width of the bed. Kid followed suit, and rested on his side next to her. "When you went away," she started, directing her eyes to the ceiling above them, "I was so sad and angry with myself. I never told anyone how much I hated myself. This house and the town suffocated me. I don't know why staying here in Rock Creek had become so unbearable all of a sudden. I had lived for a whole year with the pain of believing you were dead, and I'd never thought of fleeing. I guess it wasn't the town I couldn't stand, but myself. During this time I've learned the hard way that however much I run, I can't really escape. Like Teaspoon once told me, we can't save people from themselves."

"Did you know what you wanted to do in Seneca?"

"Not really," Lou replied, without shifting her eyes from the ceiling. "My siblings weren't happy with the move, but they never complained. I took some rooms in town, and tried to find a job. My brother started working at the blacksmith's, and I got hired in a couple of places but I didn't last too long in either. I wasn't easy to deal with, and I was fired both times." Kid looked at her in silence, unable to believe that such a hard, committed worker as he knew she was could be given the boot. "I was at a loss, and then I saw a for-rent sign in an empty store in town, and I realized I wanted to do something different. I liked the idea of owning my own business. I knew I could concentrate my energy in something like that, and I could be good. The owner of the place was a gentleman called Albert Keller, and we easily agreed on the conditions and price. My friend Charlotte and I used to talk about being partners of a ladies' shop, but I decided I wanted something different. I couldn't see myself advising women on dresses, hats, and what not. Albert told me the last tenant had owned a seed and feed store, but he had closed down when his wife had died. So I thought that could be a good idea, and it really was."

Something in what she had said stirred something familiar in his insides. "Albert? Are you and your landlord on first name terms?"

Lou smiled at herself as she could hear the veiled jealousy in her husband's voice. Shifting in the bed, she rolled onto her side so that she could look into his eyes "We got along very well," Lou said. "When I first settled my business, he was such a dear. He helped me so much, arranging everything, contacting suppliers, and even talking to locals about my new shop."

"He was a dear," Kid echoed her words without the slightest hint of amusement in his voice.

"Why, Kid. Are you jealous?" Louise remarked teasingly.

"Do I have a reason to be jealous, Lou? You tell me."

"Well, Albert doesn't really beat about the bush, and one day he blurted out he wanted to court me," Lou explained, studying his face which looked as if it were going to explode.

"And what did you do?" he asked the question between gritted teeth.

"I said no, of course!" Lou exclaimed. "What else could I say? Apart from being a married woman, I didn't like Albert that way. But he didn't seem to accept my refusal, and was pretty insistent."

Kid frowned his forehead. "What on earth did he want from a married woman?"

Louise sighed. "I didn't tell him I was married," she said, and at Kid's shocked expression, she added, "I don't need to hide behind a ring, a marriage certificate, or you to fight my own battles. I kept telling him I wasn't interested in him in that way. And well, one day he finally stopped."

"Thank goodness he left you alone," Kid mumbled, totally relieved.

Louise grinned, amused by his attitude. If only he knew Albert hadn't been the last one who had tried his hand… Naturally, she did not plan to tell him, because that would cause him useless suffering, and she knew jealousy was a terrible feeling. "Well, that ain't exact. He's still around. He just transferred his affections to somebody else… somebody very close to me, my little sister."

"Theresa…"

Lou nodded. "He saw her once at the store, and suddenly got totally smitten. The feeling was mutual. Tessie fell for him hard too. They wanted to marry straightaway. Theresa was sixteen at the time, and Albert is ten years her senior. Miah and I refused to allow her to get married in such a rush and at such a young age. We managed to convince her to wait for a couple of years. She and Albert tied the knot just two years ago, and they're happy."

"So Albert is you brother-in-law."

"And yours," Lou said with a smile. "I now live with them. When Miah … Miah passed away, Theresa insisted on me moving with them. She didn't want me to be alone. They live in a big house adjacent to my shop. They bought it when they got married. Tessie helps me with the business, and Albert gives us a hand with the accounts. He's an accountant, and has his own office. He's quite well reputed in town."

"I guess I'll meet him soon enough, and if he's been so good to you, then he's good to me."

Lou smiled. "I love you, Kid," she whispered, snuggling closer to him. "That's my past, my history, but now life starts for us. From now on we can do what we want… and as long as we're together, I don't care about anything else."

Kid's arms drew her to him, and his mouth met hers again in an avid kiss. Their caresses, their whispering voice, their passion and kisses swore to each other a deep devotion forever, and as the midday sun sneaked its rays inside, they fell on the couple and spied on them as their bodies promised a new life, a new beginning, a new love.


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

A shiver ran down her spine as Kid's hand brushed up and down her naked body. Lou turned her head and smiled blissfully when she found herself staring into the deep, blue eyes of her husband. She told herself she couldn't take things for granted. Having Kid back was too precious, and in silence she prayed she be allowed to gaze at his handsome face and drown in his profound eyes for as long as she lived.

An unexpected giggle escaped her lips as Kid's fingers caressed her most sensitive skin on her waist. "Hey, that tickles!" she exclaimed, chuckling as she playfully swatted his hand away.

Kid joined her mirth, but then he sobered and turned all serious as he said, "Oh God, you're so beautiful, and I love you so much."

Lou smiled bashfully, and let herself be cocooned in his arms again. Their lips merged into a deep, hot kiss, and when they pulled away, they remained locked into a close hug, both spellbound staring at each other. Louise breathed in as strong sensations coursed all over her body. Her eyes closed as she buried her face in his bare chest and planted a soft kiss on his skin.

"I'm sorry for bringing this up now, but shouldn't we get going?" Kid said as he kissed the top of his head. Lou lifted her face and looked at him quizzingly. "I believe we're already running late. Everybody must already be at the station."

Lou made an unhappy face. "I don't want to go," she said in a whiney tone. "We can stay here all day… getting further reacquainted." As she talked, her two fingers flirtingly tiptoed over his chest.

Kid grinned with a very goofy kind of smile. "Lou, however tempting your offer is, I think we should leave our reacquainting for later. It ain't very often we all have the chance to be together, and in two days we'll have to say goodbye."

Louise disengaged herself from his hold, sat up, and pulled the sheets up to cover her body. It was obvious she was anything but happy after what Kid had said, and he grew concerned. Lifting his head from the bed, he shifted to prop his back up against the headboard, and passed an arm around her shoulders. "What's wrong, Lou? Why don't you want to go to the station?"

Louise slowly turned to look at him. "I… I… I'm afraid they might not approve of us," she whispered, swinging a finger to and fro between their close bodies.

"What?" Kid exclaimed, staring at her warily as if she had gone crazy all of a sudden.

"I already know they don't have a very good opinion of what I did to you. I can't blame them, of course. Rachel told me I had been unfair to you, and Emma kind of implied I might never have loved you in the real way. Maybe they'll feel pity for you when they learn we're back together. They may think I ain't the right person for you."

"Lou, I don't care what Rachel, Emma, or the president of this country think," Kid explained. "The only person that matters to me is by my side right now… you. I chose you to be my wife… my wife for life, and I plan to keep our vows and live with you until death do us part. Nobody's gonna interfere. Nobody. Besides, what do you plan to do? Stay hidden here for the last few days?"

"No, of course not. And I understand what you're saying, but it'll hurt if I notice their disapproving looks," Lou muttered sadly.

"Honey, Emma, Rachel, and the others love you dearly, and just want you to be happy. I very much doubt they'll be anything other than over the moon for us. But if someone feels differently, that's their problem, not mine."

"I know you're right."

"I am," Kid added with a goofy smile. "Come on, Lou. Let's get a move on. I'm pretty hungry, and I'm sure you are too."

Kid slid out of bed, Lou did not move as she longingly kept watching him naked around the room, picking up his discarded clothes. A disappointed sigh left her lips as he finally covered his nudity, and then without much enthusiasm, she followed suit.

* * *

"Are you all right? You've hardly said a word since we left the house… I mean… home," Kid said, swelling with satisfaction with just uttering that word, a word that changed everything. They had reached the bunkhouse and were climbing the couple of steps leading to the porch. The walk to the way station had been filled with too much silence, momentarily interrupted by the welcoming loud shouts from Buck's and Cody's children to the cry of "Uncle Kid" and "Aunt Lou" since they were playing in the yard.

"I'm fine, Kid."

"Still nervous about us making our entrance?" the Southerner insisted.

"I guess," Lou admitted in a soft voice as she warily looked at the closed door.

"Everything's gonna be all right, you'll see," Kid assured, giving her cheek a peck just before he grabbed the door latch and lifted it.

Inside the bunkhouse the usual banter was taking place, and the couple could hear Cody loud and clear. "Oh come on, Teaspoon. Don't give us that. You know I…" The former rider's voice faltered when he noticed Kid's head crane inside.

"Hey, Kid!" Teaspoon exclaimed, bringing everybody's attention to the blue-eyed man. "Don't stand there and come in."

The Southerner opened the door wide and stepped aside to let his wife enter. Lou slowly walked into the bunkhouse with her eyes downcast and her arms folded over her chest in a protective way. "Sorry we're late," Kid apologized as he stood, looking over the table for a place for him and Lou to sit. There were two free spots on the packed benches, but on opposite extremes, and of course he wanted to sit next to his wife. Emma realized what his hesitation was grounded in, and rose form her position. "You two sit here," she offered, and took her plate to take the free other space at the further extreme of the table.

Lou could feel all eyes boring onto her skin, and was unable to face all those curious stares. The room was in silence, which made her feel even more self-conscious. Kid put his hand on the small of her back, and steered her to their places on the bench. Kid sat down next to Sam while Louise took the edge, next to Teaspoon, who took the head of the table, and across from Cody. Rachel soon put some food on their empty plates, and Kid finally broke the silence as he asked, "How's everybody doing today?"

"Not as good as you, my friend," Cody piped up, and those words made everybody roar with laughter.

Kid also joined their amusement, admitting Cody's words, but Lou remained stoic, staring at the food in her plate, and feeling her cheeks even hotter with embarrassment. As laughter died down, she told herself she was acting silly. She had nothing to be ashamed of, so steeling herself to face the music, she finally lifted her gaze to find three pairs of eyes belonging to her former fellow riders staring in her direction inquisitively. "What on earth are you looking at?" she asked in an unkind tone.

"We're just curious," Cody answered, smirking at the same time. "Jimmy told us about what he saw this morning… about you and Kid in the hotel room."

"Cody…" Jimmy warned softly, foreseeing that his friend was getting himself into a jam.

"We ain't a show," Lou retorted, glaring at Cody. "So keep your curiosity for yourselves."

"I beg to differ," Cody continued. "There are people in this room, one of whom is my wife, who have never seen you two together. Our curiosity is logical."

Lou narrowed her eyes, glowering at the blonde young man. She was not happy at being the centre of attention, and this was exactly the kind of situation she had been dreading all along. Before she could say anything else, or would punch Cody for that matter, Kid stepped in. "That has an easy solution." The Southerner passed an arm around his wife's shoulders and scanned his eyes over the people at the table. "Ladies and gentlemen, my name's Kid… Kid McCloud and this charming, beautiful lady is my wife, Louise McCloud. From now on you'd rather get used to seeing us together, because that's the way things are gonna be like." Unexpectedly Kid turned her face to him and kissed her on the lips. Louise blushed as she pulled away, and kept her eyes downcast but smiling from ear to ear. Clapping and whoops around the table made her look up, and she found everybody with pleasant smiles on their faces.

"We're so happy for you," Emma said.

"Same here," Rachel agreed.

"And it was high time," Teaspoon added, clearly happy for the couple. "I always knew you'd find each other sooner or later, but it took ya a while to make your move."

"Thanks," Lou said bashfully, her previous fears vanished as she heard the sincere congratulations from her family. Kid squeezed her hand under the table. She was beaming happily when Cody spoke up again. "Fellas, what about some bets?" he asked, sharing a conspirational look with his male friends.

"Bets, Cody?" Buck asked, completely lost at what Cody was up to now.

"Yeah, let's guess how long they last this time. I got myself good fresh money last when I staked they wouldn't survive together longer than four months."

Cody's words were followed by an avalanche of recriminations, rebukes, and protests. Kid glared at him in such a way that it was obvious he would throttle his friend's neck right now if he were closer. Louise kept staring between Cody, Buck, and Jimmy with an expression of utter horror. "I… I can't believe you… you of all people played and made fun of our life and our suffering as if we were just two puppets in a farce!" Lou's voice trembled with sheer anger, and hot tears pushed behind her eyelids. "I hope you had your entertainment at our expense. We didn't have any… any at all!"

"Lou, please, don't listen to Cody," Buck said, cursing his clumsy friend under his breath. "You know how he likes to make up all kinds of silly stories. Do you think we could do that to you and Kid, and play with your feelings?"

"Lou, we love both of you," Jimmy added, sending Cody a wait-until-I-catch-you kind of look. "We know it hasn't been easy for you and Kid. We couldn't take your problems lightly."

Cody realized he had really blundered this time. Even though he was the first wanting a good laugh, he was also always ready to admit his mistakes. "I'm really sorry," he said in a low voice. "I didn't mean to hurt you or Kid. I thought this would make us loosen up a bit. Lou seems too wound up today and she looks as if she needed to laugh a little."

"Forgive my husband," Louisa stepped in before Cody could say something that would sink him even deeper. "His sense of humor is often hard to understand."

"Often?" Jimmy echoed sarcastically. "I'd rather say always."

Her friends' words made Lou soften, and her anger gradually disappeared. She exchanged a look with her husband, who looked less irritated too, and said, "I have to admit I'm a bit nervous today. I've had too many emotions in the last twenty-four hours."

"That's natural," Rachel remarked with a smile.

Kid squeezed Lou's hand comfortingly, and she felt her cheeks blush at the simple gesture. It was ridiculous. She was almost in her thirties, and a simple touch from her husband made her act and feel like a teenager.

"And let me get this clear. We never bet on your marriage… never. Take my word for it," Cody stated firmly.

"It's fine, Cody. We believe you," Emma added with a smile.

Tempers relaxed, and everybody started to eat in peace and quiet. Naturally, attention was drawn to the couple who had reconciled, and everybody was more curious than they would let on. It was Sam who finally asked the question that all the bunkhouse occupants were dying to know the answer of. "So what are your plans now?"

Lou and Kid shared a look before he said, "We've talked about a lot of things, but not about our near future."

"I'm going where my husband decides to go. I ain't leaving him alone anymore."

Kid smiled at his wife's statement of loyalty, and looking at no one but her, he said, "I… I've been thinking that we could now have the honeymoon we didn't have back then. Name where you want to go and we'll spend a week or so there. I think we have good reasons to give ourselves a treat with the money we still have in the bank.

Lou's blissful expression showed she was delighted with the idea.

"Oh I think that's so romantic!" Julia exclaimed, looking at her husband sideways, and wishing she could enjoy a respite from her hard daily routine as a mother of her four boys from time to time. That would not happen any sooner, especially when the new baby was born in a few months.

"And then what?" Cody dared to ask after his previous blunder. "Fort Kearney and Seneca ain't really too close. You'll have to choose a nest to lay your egg, won't you?"

Even though not liking the choice of his words, Lou decided not to comment on it, and instead she turned to look at him. "When Kid and I first got married, our plans didn't include selling feed and seeds to make a living. But we did talk about breeding and raising horses."

"Do you mean you want to move to Fort Kearney with me?" Kid asked, smiling hopefully.

Louise nodded. "Of course I'd need to go to Seneca to sort out the matters of the shop and pick up my things."

"We can do that, naturally," Kid assured her. "There are a couple of mares that are close to foaling in the next weeks. What if we spend that long at the ranch, and when the mares and their babies are settled, we can go on our honeymoon."

Lou smiled from ear to ear. "And finally we can head for Seneca."

"Is that right?"

"I don't know what my sister will say, but I think that's a wonderful plan."


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

An orange, dull sun hovered low on the horizon, and soon enough it would disappear. The dome covering the sky would be tinted in a dark color and the bright moon would replace its celestial partner.

After spending the day at the station Teaspoon and the men he sometimes still called his boys decided to walk in town. The marshal led the way in animated conversation with Cody, and their guffaws reverberated in the solitary streets of town; Jimmy and Kid followed them in the company of Ike Cross, Buck's eldest son, who had insisted on coming along. At a close distance came Lou and Buck.

The latter pair walked in companionable silence. Louise kept watching her husband as he easily talked to little Ike, and they shared some laughs. The boy seemed delighted to have the attention of his two uncles. Lou felt a tug at her stomach as she kept studying the scene in front of her eyes. If the darn war had never taken place, or more importantly, if she had not been so stubborn and proud for so long, Kid and she might be parents now. As Kid had repeated several times the night before, they shouldn't have any regrets. They had been given a new chance to start fresh, and she wanted to believe that if parenthood was in their destiny, they would fulfill that dream one day.

"If you keep staring at him so intensely, he's going to get two marks from the reflection of your eyes on the nape of his neck."

Louise turned her glance to her side, and blushed when she saw Buck's amused grin. "I wasn't looking at Kid… I… I was looking at your son. That's all."

The Kiowa gave her a skeptical look, and decided to play along. "Why, Lou? Are you planning to start a family tonight?"

Louise made a face and punched him on the shoulder. "When did you go and turn into a new Cody?"

Buck replied by simply smiling from ear to ear, and Lou could not help but join his mirth. "Well," she started shyly after a beat, "I can't deny I'd love to have a family with Kid one day."

"I'm sure you will."

Lou nodded her head in thanks, and suddenly, a voice started in her head. She remembered the conversation she and Theresa had before she left Seneca. "I don't know if that'll be possible. I ain't so young anymore."

"Nonsense, Lou! You ain't even thirty yet."

Louise nodded again, and even though she knew Buck was right, she also felt she had wasted too much time because of her own stupid pride. It seemed as if she now had to work against the clock, and try everything in her power to achieve what her tomfoolery had prevented her from having.

For a few seconds she debated with herself whether she should bring up the issue she had been so against when talking to Theresa. If indeed there was something that might increase her possibilities to give Kid a child, she wanted to try it. So despite her initial objections, she started to smooth the way for what she wanted to finally spit out. "Buck, can I ask you something?"

The Kiowa gazed at her with curiosity, noticing a strange quality in her voice all of a sudden. "Sure. What is it?"

Uncomfortable, Louise cleared her throat. "Uh… this is kind of embarrassing, but Theresa told me something and I'm curious… well, not curious, just interested to know if there's some truth in it."

"What is it, Lou?" Buck asked again.

"Tessie told me that when you and Julia were first married, she overhead a conversation between the two of you."

"What kind of conversation?" Buck asked with a frown.

"Of… of intimate nature," Lou whispered, and as she noticed Buck's ears crimson in obvious embarrassment, she quickly exclaimed, "Not in that sense! Tessie… she says you were talking about something you or Julia… I don't know… something you ate or drank to help you … help you with your fertility."

An amused smiled appeared on Buck's lips. "I see."

Without noticing his amusement or his smile, Lou kept talking, looking ahead of her. "Tessie is quite desperate to become a ma. I believe she's taking things too far because she's still too young to worry about that, but you know what my sister is like. She almost begged me to ask you for your secret… for your secret… uh potion. I had no intention to do so, but now that things are working with Kid… I…" Louise turned her eyes to his friend, and added, "I really want to give him a child. I hadn't realized how important it is to me till now, and I need to do anything to make it happen."

"And let me say this again. Let Mother Nature run its course. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful ma one day."

"Buck, why don't you help me here? Maybe Mother Nature needs a little push. Kid and I lived together for three whole months as husband and wife, and nothing happened." Lou did not say that before their marriage they had been intimate more times than she was able to count, but the idea that not once did she even have to worry she might be with child concerned her now.

Buck sighed at her stubbornness. "Let me be honest with you."

"I'm listening."

"I don't know what Theresa heard years ago, but she got everything muddled up."

Louise frowned. "How so?"

"When Julia and I got married, we didn't want children straightaway. Our courtship was too short, you know, and we still needed to learn too much from the person we had married, and we thought we needn't have distractions from a bawling baby day in, day out. I knew some men from my tribe used a concoction with some special herbs to… to stop Mother Nature from doing its duty."

Louise's forehead creased in wonder, and when it dawned on her what he was saying, her eyes widened in surprise. "So you took that… that brew to… to… to…?"

"Exactly," Buck answered, understanding what Lou seemed unable to ask. "Julia didn't get pregnant that first year, and we thought it really worked. And when we had our second boy, we thought two children were enough, and we started drinking our magical tea again. Yet, as you can imagine, seeing as my wife's about to make me a father for the fifth time, the beverage ain't too effective." Buck looked at Lou, and the dumbfounded expression on her face made the young man burst out laughing.

"I… I'm sorry," Lou apologized, feeling totally mortified. "I knew I shouldn't have told you anything. I'm such a blabbermouth. I didn't mean to pry."

Buck sobered and added, "It's fine, Lou. You needn't apologize. Just hear me out. Things will develop as they should. I have the feeling that before too long, you and Kid will have news to share with us."

Lou smiled, thanking Buck for his kindness. The others had stopped walking, and Buck and Louise reached them. Noticing his wife's expression, Kid grew curious and asked, "What's that face for?"

"Nothing. Buck and I were just talking about… unimportant things," Lou promptly replied, hoping Kid did not want to know more about that conversation.

The Southerner did not try to press for more information, not thinking much of it. When Teaspoon then announced he was going to turn in, Little Ike out of the blue asked his father to allow him to sleep over at the marshal's. With an exchange of looks, Buck silently checked with Teaspoon whether it was all right for the boy to stay with him, and when the marshal nodded his consent, Buck granted his son his permission, which was followed by Ike's cheerful whoops.

When the child and Teaspoon walked away, and the former riders were left alone, Cody said, "Fellas, why don't we have a drink at the saloon? I'm feeling quite thirsty." The other three men just directed their eyes to Lou pointedly, and Cody added, "Or maybe we can go to Mrs. Sherman's tea room. It ain't the same, but it can do. I guess it's still open."

Louise did not like the patronizing tone in Cody's voice. Years ago when she worked for the Pony Express, she could go in and out of the saloon without drawing anybody's attention, but now it would not be proper. Naturally, she had no interest in going into the saloon, but she sometimes missed the freedom that her disguise as Lou granted her.

Lou and Kid shared a look, and without uttering a word, the Southerner could guess what his wife was thinking. "You go ahead, but we're turning in. We didn't get much sleep last night, and we're tired."

The grins on the men's faces clearly gave away what they were all thinking. Lou's cheeks turned crimson, but she held her head proudly as she said, "We did a lot of talking… we stayed up until late and we just slept a couple of hours."

"Good night then, Lou," Buck said.

The couple nodded their thanks and goodbyes, and walked in the opposite direction Teaspoon had taken as they headed for their home. They had not taken more than a few steps when Kid wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and Lou snuggled closer. They kept walking close to each other, and in the close distance his friends kept watching them until they disappeared into their house.

"After all these years it's kind of incredible, ain't it?" Jimmy remarked with a smile.

"It's Kid and Lou," Buck just said, and Hickok's grin let him know he was aware of what his friend meant. "I can't imagine them being apart from each other. Even when miles and problems separated them in these years, I still felt they were together."

"I know what you mean," Jimmy agreed.

Cody hardly heard a word of what his two friends were saying since he was thinking about something else, and then he suddenly said, "So now that the happy couple ain't around, what do you say about some bets?"

"Oh Cody…" Buck uttered in reprehensible tone, shaking his head.

"When do you reckon they will have their first fight?"

"Do us a favor, and shut up, Cody," Hickok ordered, giving the blonde man a push, and joined Buck as they started to walk away, leaving Cody behind. Feeling left out, the blonde former rider called after his friends, and when they did not even bother to acknowledge his cries, he had to give in and reluctantly followed them in their tracks.


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Louise climbed the stairs for the umpteenth time that morning, and as she walked along the corridor, she kept opening and closing doors to make sure everything was as it should be in every bedroom. As she peeked inside the one she and Kid had shared for the last couple of days, she noticed the shutters were not closed and quickly made her way across the room.

Before closing the shutters, she cast a casual look around, and as her eyes fell on the bare, stripped bed that stood humbly in the middle of the room, she could not help but sigh. The place contained so many memories and had witnessed how the love between her and her husband had resurfaced and grew strong. Louise could remember and replay in her mind every word, every kiss, every caress and touch that she and Kid had shared in these days. The week spent in Rock Creek had been intense, and it was relief for her soul when she had finally stopped the hide-and-seek game she had been playing with Kid all these years, and gained her husband back.

Louise was so immersed in her reflections and memories that she did not hear or see Kid walk into the bedroom. It was when he encircled his arms around her waist that she snapped out of her daydreaming with a little startle. Lou gasped and smiled as she locked eyes with him. "What keeps you so thoughtful, Lou?"

"You…" she replied. A smile broke onto his lips, and she pursed her lips unhappily as she added, "I was also thinking I'm gonna miss our home."

"We're going home, honey. I'm sure you'll like it there too," he said, and leaning over, he playfully nuzzled her neck.

Lou giggled as his mouth tickled a very sensitive spot on her skin, but when he stopped teasing her, she sobered straightaway. "I know our home is actually where we'll both be together, but… it's gonna be a new place for me, devoid of memories, while this house holds so much between its four walls."

"That's why we won't sell it," Kid replied, voicing what they had discussed on previous days. "That way it would be easier for us when we visit Rachel and Teaspoon." Lou nodded, but could not shed the melancholy she was feeling. "Ready to go then and make new memories?"

Louise did not answer. She just closed the shutters, and then holding Kid's hand, she let him steer her out of the bedroom, and down the stairs. They picked up their bags, and after casting a last look inside, they closed the door.

Kid's horse had been housed in the stables at the old station, and Rachel had agreed to let Lou take one of her horses to Fort Kearney. Therefore, that morning Louise donned her masculine clothes, and as the couple headed for the Pony Express's old base, she silently admitted that the only good thing today was the ride to her new home, which she obviously preferred to taking the stage.

Rachel, Allan, Jimmy, and Teaspoon came out to the yard after Kid and Lou had saddled and got their horses ready. They were the last ones in their party to leave Rock Creek. Emma and Sam had been the first to ride away, and then one by one the others had also parted.

Goodbyes always made Louise teary. She still felt her heart pain every time the memories assaulted her, and her mind replayed the moment when she had first moved to Seneca. That had been one of the saddest days in her whole life. Back then she was still too miserable at losing her husband for her own silliness, and leaving those she loved dearly behind, though by choice, was excruciating, to say the least.

Today things were different. She was about to start a new life with the man she loved. The perspectives were full of hope and excitement, and Louise actually looked forward to becoming and being the wife Kid deserved. This was what she wished for most, and even though it was scary, she longed for it. However, right now the idea of leaving Teaspoon and the others made her hurt, and she could not help but feel down in the dumps.

Louise first approached Jimmy, and the deputy gave her a peck on the cheek. "It was nice to see you, Lou. Please don't be a stranger in these parts anymore."

"I won't."

Hickok turned to Kid, and as both men shook hands, the long-haired deputy said, "You better take care of her, or I'll kill ya."

"I know," Kid said with a smile.

Louise looked at the two men with irritation. "Jimmy, I don't need anybody to look after me. I can take care of myself."

Jimmy and Kid exchanged a knowing look. Lou sounded just like in old times, and even though her independence had been an issue for the couple too often, now her words sounded like music to Kid's ears.

"Just watch out for each other," Hickok insisted. "Don't let this husband of yours get into trouble."

The couple nodded with a smile, and then bid goodbye to Allan before coming to do the same with Teaspoon. "We're gonna miss ya, and let me say it again. I'm so glad you've sorted out what kept ya apart."

"Thanks, Teaspoon."

"And do this old geezer a favor. Be happy."

Lou smiled, but tears sprang up to her eyes as she hugged the man she considered a father. "We'll try. I plan to do everything to make it up to him."

Teaspoon wiped his own eyes that had also moistened when they pulled away. Louise caressed his stubbly cheek and gave him a kiss. "I love you, Teaspoon."

"I love ya too, sweetheart… both of ya."

Rachel had Baby Louise in her arms, and Lou smiled as she softly brushed her fingers on the child's chubby cheeks. "Beautiful, you keep an eye on pa and ma, all right? And grow stronger and prettier."

"The next time you come to Rock Creek, I'm sure you'll have a hard time recognizing her. Children grow up so fast," Rachel said.

A shiver ran down Lou's spine as something in Rachel's words greatly distressed her. Trembling from head to foot, Louise wrapped her arms around herself as a way to get rid of whatever was making her feel so weird.

"Are you cold?" Rachel asked, surprised. The day was quite warm, and an hour ago she had even removed the woolen hood she had put on Baby Louise this morning.

"I… I guess," Lou replied slowly, admitting Rachel's assumption since she did not know how to explain the strange cold sensation that had coursed all through her body just now. Even though it had been for a brief moment, it had left a strange, distressing feeling that squeezed her chest overwhelmingly. Lou put on her old brown jacket over her shirt, and folded her arms again. Rachel and Kid were watching her and Lou forced herself to smile. "This is goodbye then."

Rachel nodded, and after passing the baby to her husband, she hugged Lou and Kid in turns. "Please ride safe."

"Always," Kid replied, and looking at Lou sideways, he added, "Especially now."

"And remember, stick together."

Lou nodded, unable to utter a single word. Kid did not fail to notice she was becoming too emotional, and placing a hand on her elbow, he asked, "Shall we go?"

Louise did not reply, and after casting a last look at her friends, she simply let her husband help her onto the horse. When at last they spurred their mounts first into a canter, and then a gallop, Lou's tears finally flowed freely. For some reason leaving Rock Creek and her friends was hurting more than ever. She told herself that this was ridiculous because she now had a reason to visit then again soon, but strangely the idea of a visit did not bring her any peace, but rather the opposite.

From the corner of his eye Kid could see his wife weeping, but he did not try to say anything. Lou needed to let out some steam, he thought. They had lived too many emotions in the last week, and it was logical she was more sensitive than usual.

The ride against the wind through forests, across the prairie, and along familiar and new roads managed to calm Lou down, and she eventually found herself relishing the sensations and memories that it brought about. It had been so long since she had last ridden so freely and fast. In Seneca she normally took Katy and her old mare for a ride almost every other day, but she did not have the time to do much other than going for a short ride around town.

On Sundays after church when the shop was closed, and she could spend longer looking after her beloved horses and riding the way she liked, Theresa and Albert always insisted on joining her for their, in Albert's words, 'weekly healthy promenade in the countryside'. Their company was always welcome, but riding alongside the couple was anything but fun. Tessie had never been too comfortable around horses, and she simply sat on the horse rather than ride it.

Albert was hardly any better, especially when he acted in a fatherly manner around her. If she tried to spur her horse into a gallop, he seemed to guess her intentions and moved his own mount to block her way, giving her a lecture about the dangers of riding recklessly at the same time. Albert could sometimes be quite obnoxious, and he was always too worried about diseases and accidents as if he expected something to happen to any of them. Lou didn't know why he was so obsessed with that, but what she did know was that his overbearing attitude was genuine concern, so she did not have the heart to oppose him or make fun of his worries. At least, he was just her brother-in-law, so she did not have to bear his peculiarities too much. Lou often asked herself how Tessie could cope with him. In her position Louise was sure she could not stand having a husband like him.

As Lou thought of her sister and her brother-in-law, she wondered what they had thought of the telegram she had sent them. Her wire simply said that she would be away for a few more weeks, without stating the reason or where she would spend that time. Then she had received the reply from her sister, encouraging her to enjoy those few free weeks. Even though Louise knew that Tessie was a very capable young woman, she could not help but be worried about leaving her to shoulder all the responsibilities of the shop. Theresa would surely be fine, and would not be totally alone. Jack, the man who she had hired over a year ago, would be able to run the shop by himself if given the chance, so Theresa would not have to do much, just leave things to Jack. He was an excellent worker, and of course Albert would give her a hand too.

Later in the day the stars shone against a pitch black sky. Kid and Lou lay on the ground, cozily covered by a blanket, and holding each other in a close embrace. When they had stopped for the night, they had a light dinner, and feeling tired, they decided to turn in. Snuggling closer to her husband, Louise breathed in, filling her lungs with pure air. "This feels so good," she exclaimed, relishing the smells and sounds of nature that surrounded them.

"It sure does," Kid agreed, brushing his hand up and down her leg.

Louise giggled. "I don't mean that," she said, giving him a playful slap on his knuckles. "It's nice to be here with you… yeah, but… sleeping here in the open after so many years is just amazing."

"Do you mean you'd rather spend your nights on the hard ground other than on our soft, cozy bed?"

"Well, I wouldn't do this every night, but it's pleasant to do it from time to time. It's been so long since we last camped under the stars. I think I remember just that last time. It was when we took Dawkins out of Davenport, and even then we didn't get to sleep really together."

"Because you were angry with me," Kid reminded her.

"Yes, I was… because you wouldn't propose to me."

"That ain't strictly true. I did want to propose. Gosh, I had already done it twice before, but… but I was worried about you… worried something bad would happen to the person I loved most in this world just because she was married to me."

"I'm glad you got rid of that silly idea, and you finally popped the question."

"Me too, but that doesn't mean I don't worry about you," Kid replied.

"I know, and get this clear, nothing's happened before, and nothing's gonna happen just because I'm married to you. I think you're in a more risky position, having me as your wife," Louise joked, and suddenly another shiver coursed her body, leaving the same strange sensation as when she had said goodbye to Rachel. Kid felt her tremble, and wrapped both the blanket and his arms more tightly around her body.

Lou muttered a yes when he asked her if she was okay. In reality, she did not feel fine, but she could not put her finger on what it was. What the heck was wrong with her? Where did all these weird sensations come from? Why did she feel so scared all of a sudden? Lou could not even explain to her husband what she was experiencing because she did not even understand it herself. Her heart was pounding strongly, the pressure in her chest was even more powerful, and her whole skin was covered in goose bumps. Her eyes stared at the black sky above her, trying to forget what was happening to her. Soon she noticed Kid's hand loosen his hold on her and his breathe deepen, which told her he had fallen asleep. Louise remained fully awake, listening to his intakes of air, and even the horses' soft snores, and in the black, lonely night Lou kept praying over and over again she could shush the fears away because she just didn't understand.


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Louise smiled as she looked around the room. After riding for the whole day and stopping every three or four hours to rest, they had reached Fort Kearney and their home when the sun had already set. They had then taken care of the horses before heading for the house, so because of the darkness already reigning, Lou did not have the opportunity to see the ranch completely, just the stables and so far the living room of her new house.

"What do you think, Lou?"

"I like it. You have a very nice place here," she replied.

"We."

"I beg your pardon?" Louise asked, not sure what he had just said.

"We  have a nice place here," he repeated, emphasizing the pronoun. "This is your home too… so no more me and you, now it's us."

Louise smiled, and still looking around, she added, "I have to say I miss some feminine touch… it's too manly."

"You can add any touch you want now," Kid replied, reaching out and intertwining his fingers between hers. "You can go shopping, and do some decorating." Lou nodded, not voicing that she had already thought of doing just what he was pointing out. "When I first bought this property," Kid continued, "I only had a bed, a few chairs, and a table, just enough to get by. Later when I hired Ari, she helped me to furnish the rest of the house. I guess she kept her feminine side to herself."

Lou nodded, aware of who this Ari was. Kid had told her that he had hired a widowed woman years ago to help him with the housework. The woman lived in a hut on the property too. When Kid had told her about Ari, Louise had been unsure whether she would feel comfortable with a woman around… in her kitchen and her home. She wanted to be Kid's wife in all senses, and that included to even do cooking and cleaning, which she did not like very much. In an awkward way Lou had confessed to Kid about her reluctance to have Ari around. He had understood her position, but had finally talked her into letting the woman stay for the time being. They would be gone for a few weeks later, and she could decide then if they should have some help at home or not.

"I can't wait to see the rest," Lou said.

"It's a shame we couldn't get here sooner when there was still some light," Kid replied casually.

"Well," Louise starting, brushing her palms up his chest flirtingly until finally hooking her hands around his neck. "I meant something else… the bedroom."

Kid let out a sonorous chuckle. "You are naughty, did you know that?" he said, playing along enticingly.

Louise grinned. "And you haven't seen half of me yet," she replied, and taking his hand in hers, she steered him to the stairs that she knew would lead to their bedroom and the beginning of their life together.

* * *

Louise let out a groan as sleep gradually wore off, and her own body pushed her to greet a brand new day. Her head was buried under the pillow as an hour ago the first sunrays had disturbed her rest, and in a desperate attempt to hold onto Morpheus, she had instinctively sought out darkness and grasped some more sleep.

Still with her head under the pillow, Lou spread her arm across the bed and her hand crawled over the mattress, hoping to find Kid. When she noticed his side cold and empty, she finally opened her eyes, and in a sudden motion she sat up. As she rubbed her eyes and shifted in the bed, the sheets slid off, leaving her naked body exposed to the air. Little by little, her five senses recovered from a full night sleep.

Not bothering to throw anything over her body, Lou walked up to the window and had a look outside. Her mouth stretched into a smile as her eyes finally admired the whole property. As Kid had said, it was not very big, but she loved it. The way the different outbuildings were spread over the place reminded her of the station in Sweetwater, the town she had been happiest in her whole life. The stables rose up strong and solid on the right, and not far there was a corral. The yard was not as ample as the one in Sweetwater, and as Lou directed her eyes to the far end, instead of the empty horizon, she could see a line of thick trees bordering the property. Kid had told her that from the ranch it was possible to walk to a nice pine forest, and in the summer they could go swimming at the waterhole, sheltered inside the vegetation of the forest, just like they used to do when they were younger.

As Lou studied the property, she fell more and more in love with it. This was just exactly what she and Kid had always dreamt about. Prior to their marriage, they had talked at length about their plans and dreams, and it was great to see he had managed to materialize what back then had just been words gone to the wind. Louise felt this showed perfectly that Kid had not forgotten her all this time, but it also saddened her to have missed the beginning of their dream just because of her own stubbornness.

As she kept looking out the window, she saw Kid come out of the stables, carrying a wooden crate, which he left outside before walking back inside. Lou waved at him and tried to call his attention by knocking at the window pane, but he never noticed her. So eager to kiss him good morning, she rushed to grab her carpet bag, which was still full with her clothes and other items. She chose to wear one of the skirts she had brought from Seneca, and slid into the only clean blouse she had. This turn of events in her life had been totally unexpected, and caught her completely unaware, so she was without many clothes. Lou made a mental note to go to town as soon as possible and do some shopping. She really needed to get herself some more clothing, especially undergarments.

She cast a last look at her reflection in the small mirror on the wall, Lou dashed out of the bedroom. Her mouth was smiling, actually giggling in anticipation, and she almost took two steps at a time in the staircase, trying to get to Kid as fast as it was possible. Yet, she stopped dead in the middle of the stairs when she noticed a woman at the end.

The woman had a broom in her hands and stared up at Lou as if she was seeing a ghost. Without any preambles, she asked in a demanding tone, "Who are you?"

Louise climbed down the last few steps slowly, and stretched her arm as she said, "I imagine you're Mrs. Giles. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Looking at Lou with a wary shine in her eyes, the woman took her hand and shook it stiffly. She was a bit taller than Louise, with slender features, a severe expression on her face, and black hair tied up into a bun. Her neat looks made her appear fifteen years younger than her real age. She clearly did not have the grandmotherly looks of a woman in her sixties or too many lines on her face that marked experience and maturity.

"Who are you again?" the woman asked.

Louise chuckled at her own clumsiness. "Forgive my manners," she said. "My name's…"

Before Lou could finish, the sound of the front door opening drew both women's attentions. Louise's face lit up as soon as she saw her husband appear and completely forgot about the woman before her.

"Ari!" Kid exclaimed, averting his eyes from Lou to greet his housekeeper. This morning he had got up early to muck out the stables, foreseeing he had hard work ahead of him. In his absence he had hired a local man to just keep the stables clean, but his job was not as thorough as Kid liked. As busy as he had been all morning, he had not seen Ari till now. "It's nice to see you."

"I'm glad you're back," replied the woman.

"And I can see you've already met Lou," Kid said, coming to stand next to Louise. "My wife," he added, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, and leaning over to kiss her cheek.

Lou smiled but as her eyes were on Ari, she could see that the woman looked anything but pleased with the information. Ari did not move a muscle, and in a very serious tone, she said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. McCloud."

Louise could feel the coldness of her tone almost on her skin, and she could tell that for some reason the woman did not welcome her presence in the house at all. "Please call me Louise, Mrs. Giles."

Lou hoped that the woman reciprocated the gesture, and they could forget about formalities and be on first name terms, a sign that would knock down her assumptions about the woman's impression about her. However, Ari did not say anything else to her, but address the following question to Kid. "May I know how long Ma'am is going to stay?"

Lou was surprised by the question, which only confirmed her previous suspicions. "Ari, please!" Kid exclaimed. "How long do you think she's gonna stay? She's my wife, and the woman of the house."

"I see. Forgive me. It was a dumb question," the woman replied stiffly. "If you'll excuse me now, I have work to do."

When Ari disappeared into the kitchen, closing the door behind her a bit too powerfully, Louise turned to her husband and blurted out, "She doesn't like me."

"Nonsense, Lou. How can't she like you? She doesn't know you at all," Kid replied. "Ari is sometimes difficult to understand. She hasn't had it easy in life, and it takes her time to warm up to people. I guess she feels awkward around you. That's all."

"Does she know what happened between us? About the war? About me turning you down?"

"Well… some of it," Kid said reluctantly. "She's been real good to me during these years, and she often was the only person I could talk to. I guess she reminds me a bit of Emma, and you know how she always had the knack to make us all open up and tell her our problems."

The woman did not remind Lou of Emma one bit if she had to base her opinion on this first encounter. "Now I know why she doesn't like me," she muttered, understanding that if she were Ari, she would not like a woman like her.

"Don't mind her, Lou. You'll see. She ain't as bad as you think. Please give her a chance."

Lou nodded, wondering if Mrs. Giles would consider giving her a chance too. In any case, she would not let herself down for something so unimportant. That would not spoil her good mood, and Kid was right; Mrs. Giles did not know the first thing about her, and with time she would learn to appreciate her. But if that did not happen, she would not lose sleep over it.

"Are you hungry?"

Louise nodded. "I seem to recall somebody made me work up an appetite last night," she whispered flirtingly. "And I better fill my belly because it looks as if I'm going to need my energy tonight too."

Kid let out a sonorous peal of laughter and enfolded her in his arms. "You sure will," he murmured in her ear before he claimed her lips with so strong a passion as the night before. They kissed fervently, and when Kid released her, Lou let out a gasp, and felt her legs go weak.

"Come on. Let's get some grub," he said, and taking her hand, he steered her towards the kitchen, and Lou felt as if she was walking on the clouds, and even if he were leading the way to hell, she would follow him blindly.


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"There, there, girl. Not much longer now," Kid soothed the mare as he softly stroked her back. Experience had taught him how to figure out when a mare would be ready to bring a new baby horse into the world. He would never forget the first time he had helped deliver a colt. It had been the most beautiful sight he had ever been witness to, and it still impressed him just as strongly as the first day.

When a colt or filly was born, seeing mother and baby together for the first time always moved him, and he never failed to think of Lou even if they had not been together in the last years. Since the moment he started courting Lou, fatherhood had somehow always been present in his mind. First of all, he had been too worried that Lou might find herself in a very delicate position because of their unrefrainable desires for each other. And since that was a real possibility, it was then that he had started to wonder how he felt about the idea of becoming a father. In truth, the whole notion terrified him. He feared that along the way he might turn into the same kind of man his father had been, which had always been his most dreaded nightmare. His mother had always said that his pa had been a good man at the beginning of their marriage, but he had turned to the bottle and become a violent drunkard soon after Jed had been born.

That idea had almost obsessed Kid for years, and he had really feared that some of the anger and the personality of his father would have been passed onto him. Long years of suffering during the war, in prison, and in particular in his loneliness without his wife had taught him that he could actually survive extreme situations without losing his very essence or forgetting who he was. There were actions he was not very proud of, but now he knew he could never be like his father.

Now that Lou was back in his life, he could dream without fears. One day they would hopefully be parents of a little boy or girl, and Kid really believed that since they had both had poor examples in their fathers, they would not repeat those same mistakes, and could be good parents. Kid had no doubt that was true in Lou's case. She had done a terrific job with her brother and sister, and even though their own child would be a different story, the Southerner was convinced she would be an excellent mother one day.

"I'll be back in a bit, girl," Kid said, opening the door of the stall and walking out. "I'm gonna have some lunch now."

The mare snorted softly as if she were granting him permission, which made Kid smile, and he marched out of the stables. Before heading for the house, he stopped at the adjacent shed where he washed up and changed from his work shirt into a clean one he always kept there. Once freshened up, as he made his way to the house, he scanned the horizon. Lou had left for town that morning. She had not come back yet, and there was no trace of the coming wagon in the distance either, so Kid simply continued towards the house.

Once inside, he left his hat on the peg next to the front door, and crossed over to the dining room. Ari was setting the table for lunch. Kid nodded his head at her in greeting and took his usual seat at the top of the table. A smile came to his lips when he noticed the extra plate and cutlery set on the usual empty space on his right, a simple detail that made a whole lot of a difference in his life.

"Lou won't be long," Kid said, knowing how strict Ari was with meals. The woman also had lunch and dinner with him in the house naturally. "But I imagine she won't mind if we start without her."

Ari did not say anything, just nodded, and walked into the kitchen, returning just seconds later with a smoking soup tureen. The woman served Kid and herself her leek and potato soup and sat in her usual spot. They ate in silence for a while, and after a few minutes, Kid could not keep quiet anymore. "Ari, I know you too well, and you have something on your mind. Come on. Spit it out."

"Very well," the woman replied, lifting her eyes to him and putting her spoon down. "Kid, what is she doing here?"

Kid sighed. Even though he had initiated the conversation, he knew he was not going to like it at all. "I told you already… we're finally where we should have been all along. This is our home, and…"

"I thought you wanted to divorce her," Ari pointed out, cutting him off in mid-sentence.

"I believed it was the right thing to do since we haven't lived together for so long," Kid rectified her words. He could never want to divorce Lou; she was and had always been the love of his life, but their lengthy separation and many problems had made him think that ending their union legally was what they had to do now. Thankfully, they had been able to sort things out.

"And what happened to change your mind? Did she entangle you with sweet words and a few tears?"

Kid shook his head. "You're being totally unfair to Lou."

"Kid, that woman broke your heart! She stomped and trampled over it, and did not have an ounce of compassion in her soul when you returned to her after going through hell in that damned war! She kicked you out of her life as if you were a mangy dog! Have you forgotten that?"

"Lou made mistakes, I grant you that. But I also made her suffer. I'm not without fault."

"Kid, you're a very noble man, and I hate it how the best men always end up with all these cheating, treacherous, selfish women, and…"

"Hold on there!" Kid exclaimed seriously. "Ari, it ain't right what you're saying about my wife. Lou ain't perfect, but she's a generous, kind, and honest person. You can't judge her because you don't know her."

"I just know what you told me," Ari counter attacked. "And she surely didn't cut out a very nice figure."

Kid sighed, now regretting that he told her so much about his past history with Lou. "All married couples have problems, and we ain't different."

"You know I love you like a son, and just don't want you to suffer again… I don't want her to break your heart again."

"She won't," Kid stated firmly. "Maybe you find this hard to believe, but Lou's a very good person and I know she loves me. We both want to make this marriage succeed, and I'm sure we will."

Ari was an intelligent woman, and knew when she had to stop. "I hope you're right for your own good. I really want the best for you, and if you believe Louise is the person you need, then I have nothing else to say."

"Thanks, Ari."

They resumed eating in silence and not far from where they were, Louise stood, tears streaming down her face. She had happily returned from town a few minutes ago, but when she had walked into the house, her name being mentioned had welcomed her. Naturally, she had not thought much of it, and she had been about to walk into the dining room and made her presence known when the conversation had reached her ears, and she had realized what her husband and Mrs. Giles were talking about. Lou had frozen on the spot. It had not been her intention to eavesdrop, but she had felt unable to move.

That woman was poisoning Kid against her, but Lou could not blame her. Ari had every reason to think the worst of her, and her words were basically true. If she was in Mrs. Giles' position and one of her friends had been hurt like she had hurt Kid, she would certainly not keep quiet about it.

Deleting the past was not going to be as easy as Kid thought. Her actions had left a mark that might be impossible to rub out. Lou's intentions were genuine, and she really intended to love and respect Kid as he deserved. Mrs. Giles' words hurt deeply, but that pain was not new because it had been there all along, since it was actually her own doing. On any other occasion, Louise would have barged against the woman and showed her how sharp her tongue was. However, she could not do that now. Every word was true, and Mrs. Giles was acting as a true, honest friend to Kid, so Lou felt she had to accept her true criticism and keep mum.

Right now Lou was very scared… scared stiff. All Kid's friends in this town must have the same opinion about her as Ari. What if all of them talked to Kid against her? What if he started believing she was not worth it? What if all that venom really reached him? All these possibilities terrified her. If Kid decided to leave her for good, she knew she would go crazy with pain. That would be too hard to overcome. However, deep down she wanted to believe that their love was stronger, and could survive any external interference. Yet, she could not help but feel frightened.

Louise wiped her tears furiously with her hands when she realized the conversation had stopped. No more tears. She was tired of crying so much. Weeping had not led her anywhere, and she told herself it was time to jump into action. She had to show the world she was not as horrible as everybody believed, and she would prove herself to Kid and his friends. Being a good wife to him was her first priority, and even if she had to choke back her tears, swallow her words, or forget her pride, she would do it for Kid and their marriage. That was going to be her first duty, and nothing else mattered. What she had overheard had made her realize she had a long road ahead, but she would not give up on Kid, not this time.

Looking at her reflection in the small mirror in the hall, Lou noticed her eyes were red from crying, but it was totally logical to assume that the dust of the road had got into her eyes as she drove home. Now she had to forget what she had heard and focus on her husband, so plastering a wide smile on her face, she finally marched to the dining room, greeting her husband and Mrs. Giles as if nothing had happened.


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Louise had greatly enjoyed her visit to town and shopping. She had bought a few more clothes, and also some things for the house. Her initial intentions had not considered going over the top, or purchasing too much. Yet, when she had been in the store, she had not been able to control herself. There were so many pretty items for sale that she had felt a very strong temptation to buy everything.

Louise really wanted to make the house look nice, and add her personal touch. That way she would start to believe this was her home. The last thing she wanted was to feel like a guest in her own place. Actually, that had been her situation for too long. Even though she was totally at ease living with Theresa and Albert, she knew she was a mere visitor in their home. She really missed having her own space. Therefore, it was not so odd she got a bit carried away. And then, why should she restrain herself from doing what she felt like? She had fresh money with her. It was a neat sum they had now since the honestly-earned money had remained untouched for too long. Kid had told her they should make good use of it, so why not?

Louise swept her eyes around her bedroom with a satisfied smile. Now it looked a bit better. Lou had changed the quilt, and now instead of the dull brown spread that she had slept under last night, a new one in a soft blue shade embellished the bed. Apart from that, she had bought a couple of lovely vases she had placed on top of the chest of drawers, and filled with some dry flowers. This week she intended to make new curtains with the new material she had purchased in town, and maybe she could talk Kid into getting a bigger mirror and a dressing table for her.

After smoothing a rebellious crease on her new quilt, Louise cast a last look at her bedroom before she walked out. Now it was time for the living room. Once downstairs she stood before the table where she had left a box with other things she had bought. One by one, Louise took her purchases, and went about the living room, placing everything where she liked. With the new vases, the flowers, the lamps, and even a tapestry the room looked different, lighter and more colorful. Kid would also like it, Lou thought with a smile as she stood in the middle of the living room and admired the result of her few touches, and the room would even look better with new curtains and some other ideas she had in mind.

Louise's smile froze when her gaze fell on Kid's housekeeper, who stood before the kitchen door, arms folded, a serious expression on her countenance, and sharp eyes looking in Lou's direction. Since Louise had overheard the conversation between Kid and Mrs. Giles, she felt very uncomfortable. Sharing the table with the woman at lunch had been very awkward, filled with too many silences, and even though Kid had tried to engage her in conversation, Louise had not been in a very talkative mood.

"Mrs. Giles," Lou said in a soft voice. The woman did not say anything, which unsettled Louise even more, so she forced herself to break the uneasy silence. "Uh… I bought a few knick-knacks for the house in town. Don't you think the living room looks lovelier and prettier now?"

Ari ran her serious eyes around the room, but she did not seem too impressed. "I think most pretty things are impractical. The more you have, the more you have to clean," the woman said, and pointing her finger to the mantelpiece she added, "Those lamps with those innumerable crystals are a nightmare when dust gathers in the most unlikely places."

Louise naturally did not like the comment, but it didn't surprise her. "I don't mind cleaning," Lou simply said even though she silently admitted she had not given a thought to what the woman was saying.

Mrs. Giles took a few steps closer. "You got yourself a good bunch of things," she remarked in a flat tone. "Prices are hardly affordable in these hard times."

Lou nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's true," she conceded. In truth, it was not her style to blow money senselessly, but today had been an exception. Making her new home as cozy and welcoming as possible was one of her priorities, and if they had the money, why couldn't she be a bit extravagant for once in her life?

Ari had something on her mind, and she persisted until she finally had it out in the open. "You know, your husband's worked very hard these years to have this piece of land and the business. He's struggled to make ends meet more than once, and things ain't easier now."

Her words felt like the sharp bite of a poisonous snake. Lou's shocked eyes darted to meet Ari's, and in a slightly high-pitched tone, she said, "I've also worked hard all my life, and if you're implying I'm squandering what my husband's earned with so much effort, you know nothing… nothing at all."

"We women often don't consider money matters, and…"

"Not me!" Lou stated firmly. "If you are too eager to know, let me tell you I bought all this with the savings Kid and I have from the time we worked together years ago. It was a hard job, and I think we have a right to decide to buy what we want."

Ari's face flamed into an intense crimson color as she realized she had let her opinion of Louise cloud her senses. "Forgive me, Ma'am," she muttered between clenched teeth. "I had no call to nose into your matters. Won't happen again." The woman paused, and added, "I better start making dinner."

As Mrs. Giles slid back into the kitchen, Louse sighed. This was not the way she should handle things with the woman. Her aim should be to smooth the terrain between her and Ari, not make it even rougher. What the housekeeper had hinted at had annoyed Lou, but she should know better than let herself be carried away. As far as she had seen, Mrs. Giles was an important figure in Kid's life, and Lou knew she had to try her outmost to get on well with the woman. This was just the first day, and they were two strangers sharing a small space. It was natural to clash, especially when Ari had only heard about her bad side.

With resolution Louise entered the kitchen and without a preamble, she asked, "What can I do to help?" Ari sent her a dubious look, and Louise added, "You know, with dinner."

"What can you do?"

"Ah…" Lou hesitated, but her hesitation was cut short by Ari's next question.

"Can you make biscuits?"

"Sure I can," Lou replied in a more certain tone than she really felt. In all honesty, she had not cooked at all since she had moved to Theresa's. Lou did not know who her sister had learned her domestic skills from, but it was unquestionable that Theresa was an excellent housewife, and the food she usually put on the table was to die for. Even before moving with her sister and her husband, Lou had not really cooked that much. Jeremiah had never been too fussy, and he had always been happy with the simple dishes Lou was able to rustle up.

Louise started to make the dough for the biscuits, just pausing to ask Ari where everything was. "I'm sorry to be such a bother," she said with a smile, which contrasted with the older woman's cold countenance. "In a couple of days I'm sure I'll move around the house as if I'd always lived here." Ari did not reply, and with the cleaver in her hand she kept cutting the chicken she would be serving for dinner. Her silence unnerved Louise, and she tried to fill the emptiness with her words. "I always think that working with somebody makes the job much more pleasant, especially chores around the house. Having female companionship is always welcome. Until now I've been living with my sister. She's my best friend, and we always keep each other company when we have housework to do." Ari still did not talk, and Louise dared to ask a more direct question. "Have you been living in Fort Kearney for long, Mrs. Giles?"

The woman turned her eyes to Louise, and in a very flat tone, she said, "You could say so. Over fifteen years."

"That's a long time. I don't think I've remained in the same place longer than five years… well, except when I was a child, and even then I moved a lot, but I hope I get some stability now," Lou paused, and then asked another question. "Does your family live in these parts too?"

Ari pursed her lips, and gave a powerful chop with the cleaver, almost startling Lou. "All my family is dead. My parents, my relatives, my husband, and my son. All of them. There's nobody."

"Oh I… I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"Mrs. McCloud…" Ari called.

"Please call me Louise."

"As you wish. Louise," Ari continued, "I pray you keep your curiosity to yourself. I don't really appreciate being asked a lot of personal questions."

"I was just trying to be friendly."

"I have enough friends, and I don't need any more. You're just my boss's wife, so you stay in your place, and I'll stay in mine," Ari stated firmly, and coming closer to Louise, with a spoon she stirred and checked the dough Lou was doing for the biscuits, and she said, "This has too many lumps. It's inedible."

To Lou's utter shock the woman took the bowl with the dough and poured every single drop into the sink. Louise stared at Ari with big, unhappy eyes, but if the woman noticed her expression, she did not let on. "If you want to make yourself useful, why don't you hang the wash outside? I haven't had the time to do it yet."

Louise surprised herself once again when her quick temper did not retort to the woman's words, and instead she kept quiet as she took one of the wicker baskets sitting on the floor by the door. Carrying the laundry across the yard was a job in itself since it weighed more than Lou could imagine. The basket overflowed with sheets, clothes, and even thick blankets, and naturally as everything was wet, they weighed double. Lou was relieved to finally drop it when she reached the lines. Without wasting a single second, Louise diligently started the job.

As she hung the massive amount of laundry, she wondered whether Mrs. Giles was doing some general washing. Normally Lou did the laundry at home, and she tried not to do so much in just one shot, and when she wanted to wash the bedding, linen, and curtains in the house, she staggered it on different days. Maybe she should discuss laundry arrangements with Ari because it did not make much sense to have that much overload of work when they could do it more easily.

Louise had to return to the house twice for the rest of the laundry, and when she was hanging the last garments on the line, a voice startled her.

"Louise…"

Lou turned around to find Mrs. Giles. "Yes?" she asked, running a hand over her sweaty forehead.

"You're doing this wrong too."

"Excuse me?" Lou let out, not sure she had heard the woman right.

"You're hanging the laundry in the wrong way," Mrs. Giles repeated, and as she noticed Lou's clueless expression, she elaborated. "The shirts, blouses, pants, and undergarments have to be hung from under the shoulders or the waistband, depending on the garment. Otherwise, doing it the way you've done it, everything will end up creased, and we'll need twice the time and the effort to iron things. And the bedding has to hang from the shorter side because if a wind picks up, all these might drag on the ground and get dirty, and we don't want to have to wash everything again."

Lou nodded. What she said made sense, but in reality she had never thought it mattered how you hung clothes to dry. "Uh…thanks, I'll change everything," she muttered, not really happy about having to rearrange all the laundry.

"Don't bother yourself," Ari retorted sharply, and without waiting for her permission, she started to remove the clothespins and move everything. "It'll be faster if I do it myself," she exclaimed without bothering to conceal the hostile tone in her voice. "My goodness, didn't your mother ever teach you how to do some basic cooking and housework?"

The question was obviously direct criticism, and this time Lou felt irritated. This woman was judging everything she had done in the last hour, and now she even dared to pass judgment on her mother. Louise knew her skills around the house were not something she could brag about, but having a busybody pointing out her mistakes constantly was not something she had the patience to stand. Her fiery character was close to exploding, and this time she did not try to stop the dart she consciously threw at the woman. "My mother died when I was still a child, and unfortunately, she couldn't teach me anything from the grave," Lou spat, and after a second to catch her breath, she added, "Mrs. Giles, I thought personal matters were off the table… never imagined it would be just a one-way road."

Ari did not allow herself to be intimidated, and shot back. "I'm sorry about your mother, but maybe from now on you should let me do my job and limit yourself to rest, go for walks, and frolic around."

Louise shot the woman a deadly glare before she swirled around and marched towards the stables. God, she was fuming. That woman was beyond unbearable, and what was worse, she had managed to push Lou out of her good intentions and mood. Louise cursed herself for being so stupid as to let herself be dragged to her game. How was she going to bear this situation? What could she do now? Tell Kid about her as if she were a pathetic, childish woman who could not fight her own battles? That was not the best move, but Kid had to know, didn't he?

"Kid?" she called once she got into the stables. She did not intend to say anything about what happened with Ari, but she felt a terrible need to see him.

"Over here, Lou," Kid's voice resounded among some loud neighing.

Louise walked along the corridor, and as she approached the stall, she saw him on his knees inside. A mare was lying on the hay, and Kid was cooing and running his hand over the animal's swollen belly comfortingly.

Louise came closer and rested her arms on the stall door. "Is it time yet?" she asked, staring wide-eyed at the mare which was obviously in great pain.

Kid nodded. "Pretty soon we'll be welcoming a new member to this family."

"How can I help you, Kid?"

"Don't worry, Lou. I think Clara and I can manage fine," he replied, softly tapping the mare's back.

"Please don't send me away. Today I feel like the most useless woman in the whole world. Please let me help you."

"All right," Kid agreed, wondering what she meant by her words, but he felt he should not ask her. "Come here, and do as I tell you."

Lou nodded, slid into the stall, and lowered herself onto her knees just across from her husband. What she thought it would be a question of minutes turned out to take hours. Kid's estimate proved to be wrong this time and they remained with the animal for hours. Ari even had to bring them something to eat to the stables.

It was close to midnight when Clara finally went into labor. Lou was totally mesmerized as she saw the foal appear, first its thin legs, then its head, and finally the rest of its perfect body. By the time the colt managed to stand on its weak four legs, Lou's eyes were flooded with hot tears of emotion. It was the cutest and most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Lou felt unable to stop crying.

Kid had checked the new colt to make sure it was fine, and as he heard his wife sniff and saw her tears, he smiled, aware of what she was exactly feeling. Still on his knees on the hay-covered floor, Kid opened his arms to her. "Come here, Lou."

Louise crawled to her husband and hugged him tightly as she kept crying. Kid kissed the top of her head and breathed in, relishing the warmth and comfort her presence always gave him.

"I'm so proud of you," Louise said in a husky voice, lifting her red-rimmed eyes to him. "It's amazing what you've done today."

"We did it together, Lou," he softly replied.

"Do… do you think we'll ever have something like this? A baby?" Lou asked tentatively.

"I really hope so."

Lou smiled, but the fear she had felt the last days took a grip of her soul once again. She was trembling, and all she could see was a black cloud that blinded all her senses. Totally out of her wits with fear, Louise tightened her hold around him and buried her face on his chest while she mumbled in a shivery voice. "Oh God. I love you so much… so much. I don't want to leave you. Please don't let me go. Never let me go."


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

"You look absolutely stunning," Kid said as he clasped a string of pearls around his wife's neck. Louise looked at him over her shoulder, and then they shared a brief, but intense kiss.

Lou turned her head, and studied her own reflection in the mirror of the new dresser. A week had gone by since she had set foot in Fort Kearney. Things with Kid could not be better. Being with him was like living in a constant honeymoon. Everything was so romantic and special, and surprisingly they had not argued once, not even about trivial things. Lou would feel over the moon if life were reduced to the simple pleasure of enjoying her husband's presence. Unfortunately, nothing was simple, and there were other elements to consider, which were not as bucolic as that, and that point had a clear name, Mrs. Giles.

Her situation with Kid's housekeeper had not improved. Lou had tried to approach her, and make herself useful around the house, but that had failed every time. When Ari was around, Louise felt like an uninvited guest in her home, and she often found refuge in her bedroom, the only place Mrs. Giles never set foot in.

All the furniture and the floor in her and Kid's bedroom shone sparklingly from all the times Lou had cleaned, washed, and polished the whole room. It was one of the things she tried to distract herself with. When she did not clean, she simply lay on the bed or sat on the rocking chair while reading a book. The situation did not please Lou. She felt like a prisoner in her own home, but she trusted that with time things would not be so tense between her and Mrs. Giles. She would eventually have to talk to her, but she still believed the woman might realize she was not as bad as she thought.

Thankfully, she also had the opportunity to be outside the house quite a lot when she helped Kid with the animals and other chores around the ranch, which she adored. The property was not as big as the station in Rock Creek, so chores were limited. So once the stables were mucked out, the animals cleaned, fed, and exercised, the cow milked, and the eggs picked, there was not much to do. And apart from that, Kid always left to tackle some business dealings in town every day. So even though Louise would love nothing more than go with him, she always stayed behind, locked in her suffocating house. She knew how everything worked and whether she wanted or not, this world still belonged to men, and she could not interfere with the business. Kid never said a word against her joining him in town, but Lou knew better than say anything. Many men would not appreciate a woman's involvement in what they considered men's matters, so much to her chagrin, Lou stayed at home and tried to be the wife society demanded her to be.

Yesterday Kid came announcing his old boss had invited them to dinner. So tonight Lou had donned one of her new dresses and done what she could with her now short, untamed hair. What a fool she had been! Cutting her long hair for her stupid pride once again! There was nothing she could do now, just accept another mistake of hers.

The visit to the Grangers unsettled Louise greatly, in particular after experiencing Mrs. Giles' rejection all these days. Lou feared she would have a similar reception from Mr. Granger and his daughter. Gloria Granger had wanted to be more than friends with Kid, which was something she could not forget either, and Louise imagined that she and the woman would not hit it off.

Kid noticed Lou's troubled expression in the mirror, and grew concerned. "Lou, are you happy?" he blurted out.

The sound of his voice and the question in itself startled her. Louise turned around to face him, and said, "Of course I'm happy. You make me happy. Why do you have to ask such a question?"

"Well… I ain't blind, Lou, and I've noticed that you look sad."

"I'm not sad, Kid!" Louise exclaimed. "I'm just nervous about meeting your friends, that's all."

"I don't mean now. It's every day. It's as if your eyes had lost the light I could see in them when we were in Rock Creek. I really want to know what I'm doing wrong, and why my wife ain't happy."

Louise lowered her gaze. She had kept quiet about how Ari made her feel because she did not want to create problems. Lou had sworn that she would do anything to make it up to Kid, and that included to swallow her pride and overlook Mrs. Giles' attitude. This was her husband's life, and she wanted to make it better, not disrupt it with demands and trouble. "I swear I'm happy," Lou muttered again. "I… I… I just feel a bit unsettled. Everything around me is new, and it takes up a lot from me to adapt."

"But you're doing so well," Kid said, placing a finger under her chin and tilting her head to him. "I love working every day alongside you, and the house looks nicer with all that stuff you bought."

Lou gave him a small smile. "Do you really think so?"

"Of course I do. I know it ain't easy to start practically from scratch, and I appreciate what you've done for us, honey. I'm sure you'll settle down soon enough. I already think you're doing fine. This morning I came across Mr. Harper, the store keeper, and two other ladies, and they must already have met you because they told me what a charming wife I had, and how lucky I was."

Lou blushed at the compliment. "Thankfully, they don't know half our story."

Kid sighed. "Lou, please, let's not go down that road again. If we keep bringing up the past, we'll never be able to move on."

"I know, and… it was just a comment. That's all."

"Lou, our past and mistakes only belong to us. What other people think doesn't matter, so you don't need to be nervous about meeting Mr. Granger or anybody for that matter. You'll be fine," he said, almost guessing her thoughts, as he brought her hands to his lips.

"I don't know what I've done to deserve you," she whispered. "And I really mean it."

"I often wonder the same," Kid added. "All I know is we belong together, and history's just proved me right." Louise nodded with a smile. "And now, Mrs. McCloud, may I escort you to your wagon now?" he asked, offering her his arm in a pompous way.

Lou hooked her arm around his, and smiled. "Yes, let's go."

* * *

"It's a real shame this place has lost its splendor in just a few years," Kid said as he drove the wagon along the dirt path leading to the house. "You should have seen it back then, Lou. It was amazing."

"What does Mr. Granger do now?"

"He still has some horses, but business is quite limited, compared to what this ranch used to be in its best times. And since the property is huge and he doesn't need so much space, he lends land to farmers, and he gets part of his income out of this."

"Maybe this laidback way of life makes him happier."

Kid yanked the reins to stop the wagon just in front of the house. "Knowing him and the reasons behind these changes I very much doubt that. Yet, I have to say he sounded and looked better yesterday when I saw him. I guess time heals everything."

Lou nodded at Kid's words. She could easily imagine the ordeal this family had gone through, and she knew that black cloud would never go away completely. With time it would surely fade, but the memory would stay forever.

Kid helped Lou off the wagon, and once her feet were on safe ground, she lifted her eyes to study the house. It was an imposing and beautiful building. Three stories stood up against the dusk sky. The façade was white-washed, and the window sills and frames had wood-carved motifs that embellished the whole house; the front door was a combination of latticed wood and colored glass, and the porch had a beautiful verandah that invited you to relax in warm summer nights.

Standing at the door Kid tugged at some kind of metal handle several times that made a bell ring inside. The couple did not have to wait long for the door to open, and a man who Lou imagined was Mr. Granger received them with a welcoming smile. The man instantly greeted Kid with obvious fondness and pulled him into a bear hug. "It's always good to see you, Kid," the man exclaimed. "You know you're always welcomed in this house, but lately you've become quite a stranger. When did you last visit us? A month ago? Incredible, considering we don't live that far away."

"Things have kept me busy, Mr. Granger."

"Mr. Granger? How many times do I have to tell you to call me Trevor? You ain't working for me anymore."

"Yes, you're right," Kid admitted with a smile. He realized that his former boss was looking at Lou with curiosity, and he hurried to make the proper introductions. "Mr… uh … Trevor, let me introduce you to my wife Louise."

"It's a pleasure, Ma'am," the man said, kissing her hand politely.

Lou grinned pleasantly at Mr. Granger's grandiloquent ways. In a way he reminded her of Teaspoon, even copying his mannerisms around women. "I've heard so much about you. It was time we finally met."

"Your sly husband, though, never said a word about how beautiful his wife was. I can hardly blame him. If I had a treasure like you at home, I would be wary to share the information with other men."

Louise blushed at the man's comment. Her fears about meeting Kid's other friends were ungrounded, and she was starting to relax. Mr. Granger was all kindness, and she had been a fool to let her weird relationship with Mrs. Giles rule her apprehension.

"Thanks," Lou replied sheepishly, exchanging a look with her husband.

"Please don't stand there, and come in," Mr. Granger exclaimed, and stepped aside to let his guests step inside.

The couple left their coats and Kid his hat in the hall, and then followed Mr. Granger to the lounge. It was a spacious room, lavishly decorated, with plenty of light from the multiple lamps burning around. During the day the room would also be luminous as wide widows greeted from every wall. Lou noticed a very pretty young woman sitting on one of the plush sofas, and behind her there was a man standing.

Gloria rose to her feet when the newcomers walked in, and her attention was instantly directed to the Southerner. "Hello, Kid," she said warmly, stretching her arm to him.

"Gloria," Kid called her name softly and kissed her hand courteously, something the woman seemed to be used to.

A pang of jealousy hit Lou powerfully as she watched the exchange between her husband and the young woman. Gloria Granger was a beautiful lady, with long, green eyes, and dark, wavy hair done in a flattering French braid. Kid had told her that nothing had ever happened between him and Gloria, but now that Louise had the woman before her eyes, the doubts assaulted her. Naturally, she was certain her husband had not lied, but noticing the amazing beauty in the woman she wondered how Kid had remained faithful to her. Compared to Gloria, Lou felt she was nothing as far as looks went, and in the last decade she had not shown much perfection in her moral side either. She had been horrible to Kid. How was it possible he hadn't turn to another woman in all this time? Somebody with better looks, someone who didn't demand so much of him, and could fully understand him. Gloria Granger had been there when Lou herself had been missed. Why on earth hadn't Kid filled his empty heart with her presence and maybe her love?

"Louise, this is my daughter, Gloria."

Both women exchanged polite greetings. Lou did her utmost to smile and conceal the awkwardness and sensations she was feeling. In silence she cursed herself for her weakness. In these two weeks Kid had proved to her over and over again that he loved her, and there was no other woman for him. Why couldn't she then enjoy what she had? Why did she have to doubt him and herself? What was wrong in her head?

"Kid, I imagine you remember Channing Andrews," Mr. Granger added.

"Naturally," Kid said, walking up to the man and shaking hands with him. "How are you, Channing?"

When Lou was politely greeting the young man too, Mr. Granger spoke up. "Tonight apart from enjoying your company, Kid, we're celebrating something. Gloria and Channing just got engaged yesterday."

As soon as Kid heard the news he turned his surprised eyes to Gloria. For a few seconds he stared at her startled, and then when he realized all eyes were on him, he spoke up. "Uh… congratulations," Kid finally said after a few silent seconds. "I'm happy for you two."

"And thank God he finally popped the question. For one moment I thought I'd go to my grave before this fool had the guts to propose," Mr. Granger exclaimed good-humorously.

Channing and Gloria exchanged a look and blushed. "There's nothing wrong in being shy," the woman said in a soft voice.

"Of course not, honey," Mr. Granger added. "I was just teasing my future son-in-law. And now what about having some dinner?"

Everybody nodded, and Mr. Granger led the way, and as it was socially proper, Kid offered his arm to the hostess of the house while Lou and Channing followed them. Despite the first good impression tonight, Lou had sunk down again, and she was feeling anything but at ease right now. Her insecurities and jealousy had taken a strong hold of her, and did not let go, especially as she could see Kid smiling at Gloria as they walk arm in arm towards the dining room.

There was something else that worried her. Why had Kid reacted so coldly to the young couple's engagement? Was he jealous or did he regret he wasn't in Channing's shoes? A wicked voice was whispering unsettling ideas into Lou's ear. What if the reason why Kid had refused Gloria's advances was simply his condition as a married man? Kid had always been too upright, and Lou was sure he would never commit adultery willingly. What if Kid had said no to Gloria when in fact he was dying to be with her? Could his commitment to his wedding vows be so compelling to him that he had accepted and forgiven her after all these years because he couldn't aspire to Gloria as an already married man? The idea terrified Lou, and she knew she had to know. There was no way she could live a lie if her husband was in love with somebody else. However hard the truth was, she would have to ask him. Yet, first she would have to endure this dinner before he could ask him. It was going to be a very long night. Almost endless.


	25. Chapter 24

**Note: This chapter was a bit hard for me to write. There is a reason for it, and I hope you'll understand what I intend to express here.**

* * *

**Chapter 24**

During dinner her soul had been filled with awkwardness and tension even though she had done her best to act calm and content. Louise believed she had pulled it off, and nobody had noticed anything amiss in her behavior. When she wanted, she could be the best actress, and this occasion called for her most dramatic skills.

Louise had been seated between Channing and Mr. Granger, who presided at the top of the table. The young man was quiet for most most of the time, but the rancher had hogged Lou's attention completely, asking her dozens of questions and talking about anything under the sun. On any other occasion Lou would have enjoyed the conversation, but tonight she just could not stay focused. Opposite her were Gloria and Kid, sitting side by side. They were talking and smiling. Lou eyed them from the corner of her eye, dying to know what they were saying to each other, but their words did not reach her, which was driving her nuts.

Her own fears and imagination were already playing havoc on her, and as the night progressed on, her mood sank deeper and deeper, and everything she had believed in so blindly hours before seemed to stagger. From time to time Kid's eyes checked on her as he talked to Gloria and that unnerved Lou even more. The craziest ideas crossed her mind, and although she knew she was delirious in her thoughts, she could not shush them away. Lou told herself that she was a fool; Kid was her husband and loved her. He could not be flirting with another woman under her very nose, especially when that woman was engaged and her fiancé was there.

After Gloria served dessert, Mr. Granger opened a bottle of champagne to toast the happiness of the soon-to-be-married couple. Lou eyed Kid, and this time he was a bit more enthusiastic in his congratulating words to the couple. As the dinner approached its end, Lou felt relieved to say the least. Yet, just after dinner was over, Mr. Granger told Kid and Channing he wanted to show them something in the study. The men excused themselves and left the two women alone.

In the sole company of Gloria, Lou felt even more awkward. She smiled a strange kind of smile when the woman suggested they go to the lounge. As they walked together, Gloria said, "A few months ago the doctor forbid Father from taking any strong alcohol, but I know he has a couple of whisky bottles in the study. That's why he asked the men there. He doesn't like drinking alone, and he knows I'll give him an earful if I catch him drinking. I guess I can play dumb tonight. It's a special occasion after all."

When they reached the lounge, Gloria politely asked Lou to sit on the sofa. "Would you like coffee or something?"

"No, thanks. I'm fine."

Gloria nodded, and sat next to Louise. For a few moments they remained in silence, and Lou then asked, "So when's your wedding?"

"In the summer. We haven't set the exact date yet," Gloria replied. "There are still quite a few months to go."

"I imagine you can't wait," Lou remarked casually, but in fact, she was consciously trying to get information from her. This woman had claimed to be in love with Kid, and Louise wanted to know whether there was still some fire in her heart, or if Gloria had forgotten Kid and had found real happiness with Channing.

Gloria opened her mouth to answer Lou's question, but instead of her reply, a sob rose in her throat, and tears flooded her eyes. The woman buried her face in her hands, crying uncontrollably, and Lou felt so moved that she forgot her own agony.

Louise dared to rest a comforting hand on the woman's back, and when the sobs gradually subsided, Gloria lifted her wet eyes to her. "I… I'm sorry," she said in a husky voice.

Lou shook her head, silently expressing the woman had no reason to apologize. "I know we've just met, but sometimes it helps to talk about our problems to an outsider. It can give us some kind of perspective," Lou said honestly.

Gloria kept thoughtful, considering what Louise was saying, and she finally spoke up. "I… I'm afraid I might not be a proper wife to Channing… the wife he deserves."

"Why?" Lou dared to ask. "If you love him, nothing else matters."

Gloria nodded. Lou was not sure if the woman was answering her implying question, or if she agreed with her statement. "Things … things are more complicated," Gloria said slowly. She paused again, sighed, and then continued, "I… I imagine you know what happened to me."

Louise hesitated, not sure how to reply to her words. "Uh… I… I…" Lou faltered, feeling totally awkward. "When Kid and I patched up our broken marriage, we talked about everything, especially his life here."

"It's logical. You're married. After all, everybody in this town knows what Hank did to me," Gloria said sadly. "You'd have heard my story sooner or later."

"Do you think that because of what happened you won't be a good wife?" Lou asked, and at Gloria's nod, she inhaled deeply before she added, "Gloria, unfortunately, I can't say I don't understand you. I even got to think at some point I could never be a proper woman again."

Gloria frowned in confusion, but when it dawned on her what Lou was implying, her eyes opened like saucers and her hand flew to her mouth in shock. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed. "Wh… when?"

Louise lowered her eyes to her lap. "A long time ago… I was thirteen at the time."

"You were still a child! Who could do something so horrible to a child?"

"That ruined part of my youth," Louise continued, "and I did believe it had broken my whole life. But I managed to keep walking. Having good friends and family by my side saved me in many ways. Meeting Kid was a real push in the right direction too. Yet, when he started courting me, I was so insecure. I did my best to hide what had rotted my soul years ago. He was so patient with me. He didn't know what my problem was, so things didn't go well for us for a while. When I finally mustered the courage to tell him, the road got smoother for us."

"Channing has known all along, but I wonder if when we get married, I'll be able… I'll be able to…"

"Do your duty as a wife?" Louise finished the sentence, saving Gloria from further embarrassment. The woman nodded, and Lou said, "I guess it's different in every case, but I do believe that when you're with the right person, things just fit. The past still comes haunting us, but if your man really loves you, he'll wait as long as it takes until you are ready."

Gloria sighed. "That's not the only thing that worries me," she confessed. "My story with Channing isn't a simple love story… it's kind of complex."

"Love is always complex, but may I ask what you mean?"

Gloria lowered her eyes, and as her fingers toyed with the material of her skirt, she started. "If three years ago I'd been told one day I'd be engaged to Channing Andrews, I would've laughed my head off," Gloria explained honestly. "I've known him all my life. He started working for my father when he was quite young, so he almost grew up here. It was never a secret he was smitten with me. Everybody knew, and me too. I never took him seriously. He was just a friend who was always around, and handy when I needed him. But he was not the kind of man I would even stop to consider. I have other aspirations and tastes."

Lou nodded. "I see."

Louise's voice made Gloria lift her gaze, and strangely she realized she was not alone. A deep breath filled her lungs as she continued, "Take your husband for example. He's a man easy to love," Gloria blurted out, and Lou stared at her with an open mouth as her whole body stiffened and a shiver ran down her spine. "Kid is handsome, strong, sweet, kind, easy to talk to, and the kind of person you could bare your soul to." Lou's face blanched more, which did not go unnoticed by the other woman. "Forgive my bluntness, but I imagine you know about me and your husband. So why do we have to beat about the bush?"

Gloria's words managed to alarm Lou even more. What was she saying about her and Kid? What the hell was she talking about? What had happened between the two of them? Louise wanted to shout and demand an explanation, but she was so shocked and her soul was in such turmoil that she was unable to utter a single word. A painful cramp shook her stomach, and her hand automatically flew to her middle as a defensive act.

Gloria was oblivious to what her speech made Lou feel. She averted her eyes, and staring at an imaginary point ahead of her, she continued, "You've seen Channing. He doesn't stand out in looks or personality. He's quite plain, too thin and lanky for a man. And he has never been much of a talker because he's way too shy. But don't get me wrong. I've always appreciated his friendship. He's loyal and trustworthy, and a very generous soul."

Lou was not sure where Gloria was heading to with her story. The woman had extolled Kid's virtues and excellence while putting her own fiancé down, and Lou did not understand why. She was shaken and scared of what the conclusion of this conversation would be. The night was proving to be too hard, and she wished she had decided to stay at home.

"When Hank… when he attacked me, and everything else happened, I lost many I considered my friends. I became a recluse in this house, and I guess it isn't easy to be friends with somebody who's always sad and bitter. My father was not well either, and in the middle of my most horrible loneliness, only one person remained by my side, Channing. Even if on those days I was always in a bad mood, and often treated him most unfairly, he never faltered… ever. He helped me look at life again, climb out of my shell, and find reasons to live. He was so good to me… so good. I re-discovered a new person in him, and noticed what the real Channing was like. So I started to see him in a new light."

Lou nodded. She was still fighting her own demons inside, and right now she did not care if her comments sounded too direct or lacking propriety. "Love and thankfulness are two different things."

"I know what you think… what everybody thinks. People don't believe I can love Channing, but I do… I really do with all my heart. He's never demanded anything from me. He's just been there in bad and good times," Gloria said. "It was actually me who encouraged him to ask my father's permission to court me. He was over the moon when I told him. You should have seen his face. I'd never seen him so happy-looking before. And yesterday when he proposed and I said yes, I thought for a moment he was gonna faint." Gloria smiled weakly at the memory, but then sobered straightaway. "I'm just sorry I took him for granted all these years. Channing is a greater man than I thought, and he deserves the best life can grant him. He needs a good woman by his side. And… now I wonder. How can I know I'm that woman? How can I be sure I won't make him miserable? I ain't an easy person to deal with, and maybe I don't deserve this honorable position in his life."

Lou breathed in deeply. Gloria's doubts and apprehension reminded her so much of her own. It was like looking at herself in a mirror. She knew the questions and even the answers by heart, but it was so difficult to apply her common sense to her own problems. "Love," Lou whispered. "Love is all that matters in marriage. If you love him, there's no doubt you're the one for him. Trouble, though, won't be a stranger, but as long as you have each other, things will work out."

"I tell myself that too, but I don't know… I'm scared."

"I see," Lou replied. "Just make sure you feel for real what you think you feel. Marriage is an important step, and when shadows darken our perception, we have to stop and look those shadows directly in the eye. Do you understand what I mean?"

Gloria nodded. "Thanks for listening, Louise."

Lou shrugged her shoulders. "You're welcome."

* * *

The small lamp she had left at the window was the first thing Lou spotted as they drove the wagon into the property. The drive back from the Grangers' ranch had been too quiet and awkward. Louise felt unable to shed the negative thoughts and sensations that the visit to Kid's former boss had landed in her soul. Terrible doubts boiled in her mind, and she was feeling so extremely sad she wanted to cry.

A few hours ago everything had been crystal clear in her mind. The sky was blue, the grass green, and the clouds pure white. Yet, now everything was tinted in a black color to her eyes. The idea that her husband had feelings for another woman grew stronger by the minute. It scared her to death to think that Kid was in this marriage just because that was his duty to her. Louise knew that he was an honorable man and took responsibilities to heart, and naturally his wedding vows were sacred and a priority. Lou knew that maybe without actually being aware of it, Kid tried his best not to follow his father's steps and itinerary. The man had been a terrible father and husband, and had ended up abandoning his family to their luck. That incident in his childhood had marked Kid, and now Lou wondered whether Kid was sticking to her because she was his family, and he had to drown the love he might feel for somebody else because of his strong beliefs.

The conversation with Gloria had not soothed Lou's fears, but had even increased them. The woman had confessed to being in love with her fiancé, but she had not said a word about her having forgotten Kid or her infatuation for him. In any case, what Gloria felt did not matter so much. What Lou was worried about was her husband. She wanted to know whether Kid loved Gloria as a man should love his wife. Louise knew she could not carry on in this marriage if it was not real. In that case, Kid should be free to choose the person he really wanted to be with. However much that hurt, she knew she could not accept a fake husband next to her. Maybe that was her punishment for neglecting him for so long, for taking him for granted, and not being the woman he deserved.

They reached the ranch, and Kid helped Lou off the wagon. He was feeling a bit light-headed since he had a drink with Mr. Granger and Channing. His former boss had insisted, and even though Kid did not like to drink, he was not able to decline.

As they walked side by side towards the house, Kid looked at his silent wife curiously, and said, "When are you going to tell me what's been on your mind all night?"

Lou stopped on the porch and turned round to look at him. "What?"

"I know you too well, Louise McCloud, and you've been mulling over something. Gosh, you haven't said a word since we left the Grangers."

"I… I…" Lou stammered, not willing to have the conversation now, but maybe it made no sense to stall him any longer. "I was thinking about Gloria. She's a nice, beautiful woman."

Kid sighed, suspecting where this was heading. "What about her?"

"I… I know what you told me about you and her, but… but tonight seeing you together made … made me wonder."

Kid's face was inscrutably serious, and his eyes stared at her icily. "Wonder what, Lou?"

Louise crossed her arms, and lifted her chin proudly. "I… I want to know what you feel for her, and what you really feel for me. That's all," Lou managed to let out.

Her question did not please Kid at all, and growing irritation started to get a grip of his whole will, which in combination with the alcohol was playing havoc on him already. It was incredible Lou could ask him that question after everything they had shared in the last two weeks. He thought he had shown her enough what his feelings for her were. After years apart, he had not doubted to open his door to her because he loved her. He had decided to forget the past and start from scratch because he loved her. There was not a single trace of a grudge in his heart because he loved her. He tried to make her feel like the queen she was to him because he loved her. And there was not a single day he did not express his feelings in words and actions because he loved her. How could she even consider asking that senseless question? Did she believe he could lie to her in something so important? What kind of person did she think he was?

"Kid?" Lou called out when he kept quiet and did not seem ready to talk.

Anger was boiling in Kid's veins, and the effects of the alcohol were also pushing him to the extreme. "What would you do if I told you that what you suspect about me and Gloria is true?"

His unexpected words felt like a punch in her face, and she stared at him, praying that he was just joking, but when she noticed his serious countenance, she felt her heart fall. "Wh… what?" she stammered.

"You want to know what I feel for Gloria. Why?" Kid exclaimed in a loud tone. "Because you think I'm in love with her, ain't that so?"

"Y.. yes," Lou muttered slowly, feeling ashamed all of a sudden.

"What if I am, Lou? What if I admit I'm totally, insanely, passionately in love with Gloria Granger? What if I say she's in my mind all the time? That I can't stop thinking about her for one second. That the passion I feel for her consumes me. That…"

"Shut up!" Lou cried loudly, unable to resist his words any longer. Hearing him was driving her crazy with pain.

"Why, Lou? Ain't this what you want to hear me say? Ain't this what you believe your husband feels? You think I lied to you about Gloria and took you back because I needed any woman to forget her and fill the void she couldn't fill, so who better replacement than the very person who made my love for her impossible?"

"Stop talking!" Lou barked as the tears pushed behind her eyelids. This was too much. What Kid was saying was too cruel and painful, and she couldn't take anymore. This could not be happening; this had to be a nightmare, but she knew it was real, and all she wanted was for the earth to open up and swallow her.

Unable to stand his presence, Lou dashed into the house as if fleeing from hell, but Kid followed her. "Don't you want to learn the truth, Lou? Ain't you curious to know that seeing you two together tonight made me realize how much I love her and how little I think of you?"

"Shut the hell up!"

Kid did not mind her, and took a few steps closer to continue his angry speech. "Haven't you ever noticed that when I kiss you I'm thinking of her? That when I make love to you, I'm imagining that your skin is her skin, that your body is her body, and that my lips want to cry her name? Don't you realize you can't be her?"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" she cried at the top of her lungs, covering her ears with her hands at the same time as tears finally flooded her eyes.

Noticing she was too upset, Kid cursed himself for going too far with this farce, and as she flinched away from him, he tried to stop her by placing a hand on her shoulder. "Lou…" he called in a softer voice.

His touch felt like a branding iron, and in a flash she swirled around back to him. "Don't touch me!" she roared at the same time as her hand impacted against his face in a tremendous, sonorous slap. A sob escaped her lips as her whole world seemed to crumble down at her feet. She was hurting like hell, and blindly she ran up the stairs, ignoring Kid's calls from downstairs. In her room she locked the door and dropped on the bed heavily, and burying her face in the pillow, she could feel his scent, the tears soared and sobs racked her weak, petite body in the most terrible night of her life.


	26. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Sitting despondently in the dining room, Kid stirred the wet porridge in his bowl. It had been a terrible night; he had been unable to sleep a wink, and had cursed himself all night long. How could he let himself get carried away like that, and hurt Lou so hideously? As he remembered and replayed his own words over and over again, he wanted to die of shame and pain. There was no excuse for his behavior and spiteful comments. He had purposely hurt Lou in the most appalling way. No wonder she had locked herself in the bedroom, and even though he had knocked at the door several times last night and early this morning, he had got no answer.

The sound of steps drew his attention, and as he lifted his eyes, he saw Ari appear. The woman smiled as she took her usual seat, and then she started to serve herself some porridge. "Ain't Louise having breakfast today?"

"I… I don't really know."

Ari frowned as she heard the sadness oozing from his voice. "Any problems with your Missus, Kid? I thought I heard some loud voices from my hut last night."

Kid nodded. "Lou and I argued when we returned from the Grangers. I don't think I handled things too well."

"You know it takes two to argue, so don't take all the blame."

Kid sighed, snatched the napkin off his lap, and tossed it onto the table. "It wasn't so much an argument as me saying horrible things to her."

Ari stared at him in disbelief. "I can't believe that from a nice man like you."

"It's true," Kid muttered, hanging his head in shame.

"Well, sometimes even the nicest men react when they're egged on," Ari pointed out.

Kid shook his head. "There's no excuse for that. I'd drunk some at Mr. Granger's too and you know I don't hold liquor too well, but even so, that can't justify what I did and said." He stopped, sighed again, and pressed his hand against his forehead. "I've messed it up, Ari… real bad. I don't know how I'm gonna fix this. If I lose Lou again, I'll die."

"Don't ever say that!" Ari exclaimed loudly.

Kid lifted his head, startled by her abrupt tone, and when the reason why the housekeeper had reacted so harshly dawned on him, he said, "Oh Ari, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Seems all I do lately is to put my foot in it. Please forgive me."

His words managed to soften the woman. "I wouldn't worry too much, Kid. If Louise's intelligent, she'll know what a great man she's married to, and will overlook your indiscretions. But, boy, don't ever let a woman…"

Ari's voice faltered as she suddenly noticed Louise standing at the foot of the staircase, just a few feet from the dining table. "Ma'am," she greeted her politely, "would you like some breakfast?"

Kid almost dislocated his neck as his head swirled to his wife. Lou just nodded at the woman's questions, and with eyes downcast she walked to the table and sat down. Ari poured a cup of tea and placed a plate before her. Louise kept her eyes low, and Kid stared at her unblinkingly. He could see the signs of a sleepless night in her. Her face looked too pale, and there were rings under her eyes. Kid wanted to reach out for her, and hold her in his arms, but he remained frozen in his seat. A single night without her had been tremendously hard and just thinking that Lou had been hurting all night long for his cruel words really killed him.

Lou shifted her eyes just an inch, and as she stumbled upon Kid's gaze, the pain and bitterness she had struggled with all night long hit her full-force again, and the sobs that had been her only bed companion in her loneliness burst out anew. The tears rolled down her already tear-streaked cheeks, and even though she had thought she could be strong, her spirit had broken at the slightest provocation because she felt too miserable to fight.

"Lou!" Kid called urgently, and left his chair to kneel in front of her while Ari decided to leave the couple to deal with their problems in privacy. Gently, Kid dared to wrap his arms around her shoulders, and when she did not push him away, he drew her against his chest. "I'm so sorry, Lou, so, so sorry. Please forgive me. I was so horrible to you. I feel like the dirtiest scum for hurting you like this."

Hearing his voice made her pain soar and her sobs increase. The horrible image of Kid and Gloria Granger together had been a constant nightmare last night, and as he now talked, in the middle of her personal turmoil she could hardly understand if he was apologizing for his words last night, or for loving another woman.

"Please, Lou don't cry for me. I don't deserve it," Kid continued, talking to her softly. "Every time I think about what I told you last night I want to die. That was so uncalled for, and once again I broke a promise to you. I swore I would never hurt you, and here I am, stomping over my words. I couldn't have done it worse."

Louise lifted her face from his chest. There were still tears in her eyes, but it was important for her to say what she had been thinking of all night long. "You… you asked me a question last night," she croaked with a trembling voice. "And I have the answer." She paused, and Kid stared at her, wondering what she was talking about. "You asked me what I would do if I knew you loved somebody else. Well, if you love her, don't let your commitment to me stand in the way. It's not right. Even if that woman is unattainable, you mustn't resign yourself to second best."

"Lou, there's nobody in my heart but you. I only love you. What I told you last night was too insensitive and cruel. I don't know what got into me. Please forgive me," he begged and dared to take her hands in his trembling ones.

"You ain't in love with Gloria?" she asked in a quavering voice as a few stray tears sprang to her eyes.

Kid gently wiped her tears with his index finger. "How can I love anybody when I have 'you'… my friend, my sister, my partner, my lover, my everything?"

"You ain't jealous of Channing?" Lou insisted.

Kid shook his head. "Jealous? Course not. I was surprised, that's all, as surprised as the whole town. I'm glad for them. Channing is a good fella, and Gloria really needs some peace and happiness in her life."

Lou kept quiet and lowered her eyes. They remained in awkward silence; Kid still on his knees before her sitting figure. "Will you forgive me, Lou? You can't imagine how sorry I am."

"What you told me hurt… hurt too much," Lou said in a very tiny voice with her eyes downcast. "I cried all night long."

"I know, Lou. I can't believe I could be so callous with you, the person I love most in life."

This time Louise met his eyes. "Why did you do it?"

"I… I don't know."

"I was just jealous… stupidly jealous," Lou admitted. "But I don't think that justified what I got from you."

"And you're right… absolutely right. I was way out of line."

Lou sighed. "Kid, what's really in here?" she asked, placing her hand on his chest. "What happened last night makes me realize you still have issues with me."

"I love you, Lou."

"I know that… now," she corrected herself, "but that doesn't mean your heart can't hold some resentment for what I did to you and our marriage for years."

Kid wanted to deny her words. He was the first one who always reassured her and insisted they forget the past and look into the future. "The most important thing for me is to make this marriage work. You mean the world to me, Lou… honestly, and I have no regrets for accepting you back in my life because that's what I've always longed for."

"Sometimes what we want and what we feel ain't on the same level. I don't question your sincerity, but maybe deep down you're still sore at me. Please talk to me, and tell me what's bothering you. Otherwise, this kind of thing will keep coming up and hurting us even more."

Kid nodded. She was right. Feeling crampy in his knees, he rose to his feet, and almost as if she could read his mind, Lou stood up for him to sit on her chair, and once seated, she perched on his lap. "Talk to me, Kid, please," she whispered, looking into his deep blue eyes.

Kid nodded again, wrapped his right arm around her waist, and kept thoughtful. Absentmindedly his hand brushed up and down her side, and his eyes focused on the flowery pattern of her dress. "Maybe you're right, and I haven't overcome some of our past problems."

"Tell me about it."

"I… I guess I still can't understand why you could turn me down after I came back from war. I really yearned for some comfort and the love of my wife after years of terrible suffering."

Louise nodded. "I failed as a wife… even as a human being," she admitted bravely. In these past weeks she had accepted to look at the truth without excuses or hiding herself behind nothing but air.

"Lou, I know you're a great person, and that's why I fell in love with you in the first place. And in these two weeks we've been back together, you've proved to me you're still as generous, kind, sweet, and honest as I remember you were in the old days."

"And that makes it harder for you to understand why I let us grow apart for so long," Lou finished the thought for him.

"I guess… yes."

Lou sighed. "To be totally honest, I don't understand it either. Some people might still think I didn't love you enough, but that ain't it. I told you before. Living without you was a self-inflicting torture that was unbearable more often than not. I had all those bubbling feelings inside me, and I felt unable to do anything to help myself when I knew that just a word to you would do magic. All I did was to wallow in self-pity. Every night as I went to bed, the last thing I did before putting out the light was to look at the portrait of our wedding day, which I kept hidden from everyone else, and I told myself 'Tomorrow… tomorrow will be the day' but I never did anything. You know that."

"If you'd shown at my door, or sent me a letter, you'd have made me the happiest man alive."

Lou nodded, and they relapsed into silence. After a few minutes it was Louise who dared to speak up again. "Do … do you think you could ever forgive me completely?"

"Lou, I already forgave you, but maybe this is what we really need… to talk more, and not to block the past as I told you we should." Louise bobbed her head up and down in agreement, and Kid added, "And am I forgiven for last night?"

"You know you are," Lou said. "But please don't do that to me again."

"I promise, and I mean it," Kid replied honestly, "but on one condition."

Lou frowned. "What condition?" she asked in a strained tone which reflected she was not happy with his words.

"Well, I've been honest with you, and now it's your turn," he explained. "I would like to know what problem you have here." Lou tried to speak, but Kid continued, not letting her protest until he had not said his bit. "And please don't make me believe all that about settling down or how nervous you were about meeting my friends."

Lou kept quiet, and her eyes involuntarily turned to the kitchen door through which Ari had disappeared. Kid noticed where her gaze lingered, and he asked, "It is about Ari?"

"I… I don't really want to say anything against her."

"What is it, Lou?" Kid insisted.

Louise sighed. "All right then. Well, you know she doesn't like me very much," Lou said. Kid did not try to deny her words, and she added, "Can you imagine how uncomfortable it is to be around somebody who hates your guts?"

"She doesn't hate you, Lou," Kid contradicted her.

"Maybe the wording ain't correct, but the result is the same. I've tried to be patient and friendly to her, but whatever I do, I end up making a poor show of myself. So lately I just get out of her way, but Kid, I can't live like this forever… locked in my room as if I were a prisoner."

Kid shook his head, not liking what he was hearing. "Despite everything, Ari's actually a nice woman. She's had her share of problems in life, and I guess that reflects on her character. When I first hired her, she also struck me with her peculiar… uh… detachment. But with time she got more accessible, and now I'm really fond of her."

"I ain't saying you let her go, and I ain't questioning she's a good woman. Her dislike of me shows how much she cares for you. I can't blame her."

"But it ain't right she doesn't give you a chance," Kid pointed out.

"Well, that's arguable. Why should she give me a chance, Kid? I'm nothing to her, and if she chooses to dislike me, nobody can tell her otherwise. She ain't paid here to give the lady of the house a chance. And she ain't really nasty. Actually, she's quite civil, but I don't know… I can notice her dislike and I feel so uncomfortable."

"Do you want me to have a word with her?"

Louise shook her head. "I guess I'll try again myself. You know me. I'm stubborn as hell, and when I get an idea in my head, I eventually get what I want."

"That's my girl," he said with a smile, but his beaming expression instantly vanished when he asked, "Are we okay then, Lou?"

"Are we?" she repeated the same question instead of answering his.

"As far as I'm concerned, I am. I promise to talk to you if something's troubling me," Kid replied.

"Yeah…" Lou said distractedly as she seemed to be lost in thought again.

Her vague answer made Kid worry. "What is it, Lou? Are you still unsure whether you can forget or overlook what happened last night?"

"No… I'm fine with that," she added in all honesty. "But what you just said reminded me there's something else."

"Something else?"

"Its … it's silly, I guess. But we have promised to tell each other everything."

"What is it?" Kid asked again, running out of patience with her enigmatic words that unnerved him.

"Uh… from time to time I feel extremely scared… almost panicky," she explained, not really sure how to express what sometimes lately shook her whole soul. "It started when we left Rock Creek. Rachel said something that scared the daylights out of me."

"What on earth did she say?" Kid asked.

"Nothing special, but I don't know… there was something there that frightened me and it happened a few times again with you. I can't really explain it, but it's as if I expect something terrible to happen at any moment."

"Is that all?" Kid asked as relief washed over him. "I thought it was something worse, and you scared me there for a moment." Lou did not like his disregarding tone because for her it was really an issue. "Honey," Kid continued, "it's natural to feel apprehensive after all that we've gone through. I feel the same. It scares me to think I might lose you again. Last night I thought I really had. Please let's think positively for once. Nothing's gonna happen."

Lou stared at him skeptically, and Kid said, "Please give me a smile."

Louise forced herself to smile, and Kid matched her expression when he finally wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "Everything's gonna be all right because now we are together."

Lou kept quiet, and pressed her hands against his back as much as possible. Maybe he was right, but why on earth was he feeling this scared again? What did his last words have that made her whole spirit shake and her body shiver from horrendous, extreme fear?


	27. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

With casual steps Kid crossed the length of the living room, and stopped before the opening door of the study. He smiled as his gaze fell on Lou, who was atop a ladder, smoothing the new curtains she had just hung. For a couple of minutes Kid simply stared at her, admiring her graceful figure as she moved on top of the ladder.

Kid was glad that after their conversation a couple of days ago things had gone back to normal, and despite his reproachable behavior the night of the Grangers' dinner Lou had not kept any hard feelings. After that, in his moments of solitude he reflected upon his relationship with Lou and everything they had gone through, but now his thoughts drove him in another direction. In the past whenever he brought Lou and their marriage to mind, he was full of pain, resentment, and bitterness. Yet, now he looked at everything from a different perspective because Lou was back in his life and everything that hurt him real bad appeared in a new light. After talking to her about what still bothered him, Kid was able to face his real feelings, and relativize everything at the prospect of a happy future with the woman he loved.

Lou had not noticed his presence yet, and unable to stand back any longer, Kid walked inside. As he stopped next to the ladder, temptation trapped him, and his hand slid below her skirt, and brushed up and down her right calf.

The unexpected touch almost made Lou jump out of her skin, and for a moment she staggered on the steps, but quickly reached to grip the ladder frame. Looking down she smiled when she saw her husband. "Hey, you startled me."

Kid grinned and kept his hand under her skirt, caressing her leg. "Who did you think would dare touch you like this? Ari?"

At his comment Louise giggled, and swatted his hand off. "When did you get so forward around women? This ain't the Kid I know."

"I'm not forward around women, just you, because I can't resist your charms," he whispered, running his hand up her leg, this time over her skirt. Lou could not help but laugh and Kid soon joined her. "Come down here," he said, stretching both his arms invitingly. Lou smiled, and jumped off the ladder to fall into his waiting arms. Once safe in his hold, Louise circled his neck and kissed him hard on the mouth.

Kid gently eased her down, and resting his hands on her hips, she shifted her face to the window and asked, "So what do you think?"

"They look very nice. Good job," Kid replied, studying the new curtains. Lou planned to change all the drapes in the house, and spent a great deal of time cutting the material and sewing. The ones now hanging in the study were in a flowery pattern in different shades of purple. Kid had to admit that even though he had never cared about the color of the curtains or any decorative elements, the change made the room look more cheerful and lighter.

"They're much nicer than the brown ones you had," Lou pointed out. "Maybe we could do something with those old plain drapes… cloths or even cushions. I think we could have some cushions for those chairs you have in your shed."

Kid smiled at her enthusiasm. "I think that would be nice," he remarked with profound admiration. Lou had been the same when they had first bought the house in Rock Creek, full of plans and energy, and it pleased him to see some things never changed.

"So what are you doing here in the middle of the day?" she asked.

"Would you believe me if I told you I had an irrepressible desire to see you?" he said, smiling goofily.

"Yes, I would," she replied, playing along. "But I'm sure there's another reason."

"A second reason," Kid rectified, and then added, "Lou, I normally go for provisions in town once a week. I thought we could go together today since we're running out of a few things in the barn. But I'm afraid I'm really busy there."

"Do you think Carla might have her baby foal today?"

Kid nodded. "That's why I don't want to leave the ranch. Lou, do you think you could go to the store for me?"

"Sure."

"Thanks. These are the things we need for the barn," he said, handing her a paper where he had written down everything.

Lou studied the list and without lifting her eyes, she said, "I'll check what we have to buy for the house too."

"Talk to Ari, and tell her to go with you," Kid suggested. "She knows pretty well what we need." At his words Lou raised her surprised eyes and was ready to protest, but Kid's meaningful expression stopped her. "Maybe a ride to town will give you the chance to have that outstanding conversation with her."

"Yeah," Louise replied vaguely. It was true she had not talked to the woman yet as she had promised, but it was not an easy task. Whenever she intended to tackle the matter, one look at Ari's serious countenance put her off and she decided to wait for a more suitable moment, which had not yet come. At least, Lou thought she was coping better with her attitude, and it did not bother her so much to notice her judgmental eyes on her whenever she did something around the house. If Lou managed to establish a more friendly relationship with Mrs. Giles, things would be much easier for everybody. Maybe that would not be possible however much she tried, but at least, she had to try.

* * *

Louise went around the store, picking from the shelves the items on her list and then placing everything in her basket. Her eyes casually scanned around the place, and stumbled upon Mrs. Giles. The housekeeper was at the opposite end, talking amicably to another lady. Shaking her head, Lou turned her attention back to the task at hand. Kid's suggestion to bring Ari along was not really working as he hoped. On the ride to town Lou had tried to engage the woman in conversation, but all Lou had managed was just monosyllables in reply or stiff responses. In the end Louise had given up, realizing she and Mrs. Giles did not have much common ground to stretch a conversation based on one-word sentences. Lou knew that eventually she would have to discuss their tense relationship directly, something she was trying to avoid by resorting to other tactics, but so far being friendly had proved to be a waste of time.

"Louise."

The mention of her name being called pulled her attention from the shelf she was checking out, and then she came face to face with a familiar smile. "Gloria!" she exclaimed in pleasant surprise.

"I'm so glad to find you here," the woman said. "The other day I didn't have the chance to tell you how much I enjoyed having you and Kid over for dinner."

"It was nice for us too," Lou replied politely. Her words were a blatant lie since her insane jealousy had prevented her from enjoying the evening, and then the argument with Kid had ended up ruining the rest of the night for her.

"I hope we can do it again some other time," Gloria continued. Pausing for a moment, she took a step closer to Lou, and said in a soft tone, "Louise, I'd really like to be friends with you. You were so good to me the other night. What we talked about helped me a lot. I don't think anybody can understand me like you do."

Lou smiled. "I'd like that too," Lou replied, silently thanking her for her honest offering of friendship. Gloria was the first person who paradoxically made her feel welcome in this new town. After what she knew from Kid's own mouth, Lou had been quite wary about the woman who she thought might have been a threat to her marriage, and in the end she had ended up liking Gloria more than she had anticipated. "Is everything all right with Channing?"

"Better every day."

"I'm glad," Lou said, and from the corner of her eye she saw Mrs. Giles walking towards them. The housekeeper held a wrapped up parcel in her hands. When she reached where Lou was, she politely greeted Gloria and was about to place her package in Lou's basket, but stopped to have a look inside. Lou noticed the look in Ari's face, and could almost feel her criticism on her skin once again. "Any problems, Mrs. Giles?" she asked, and when the woman kept quiet, Lou added, "I just picked up what you wrote on the list."

"Yes," Ari replied, and as she rummaged in the basket, she talked at the same time as she showed Lou some of the things from the hamper, "but this is beef, not pork. There should be five cans, not four, and this ain't on the list for sure."

Louise sighed tiredly. This was just the last straw she could stand, and her patience was running low. Couldn't she do anything right for this woman? Everything else was fine, but Mrs. Giles had to pick on her for a couple of things, and a bottle of syrup she wanted to buy that wasn't on the list. Lou would accept her rebuke willingly had it not been for the tone of her voice which sounded as if Lou had committed a crime. "Look, Mrs. Giles, I'm sorry. If I do everything so wrong, maybe you should take care of this yourself."

"I already told you, Ma'am. Just let me do my job. It'd be better."

Lou felt a terrible urge to scream, or at least, tell the housekeeper she was also wrong. Kid had told her it was him who came for previsions to town, not her. Yet, Lou had to swallow her words once again. They were in a public place, and she was not going to draw attention upon herself and make a scene with a respected woman in town. Leaving the basket on a display table with a powerful thud, she said, "I'll go to the feed store in the meantime. I guess I won't mess it up there."

Without waiting for an answer, Lou dashed out of the store, and stopped under the canopy of the covered walkway. Cursing herself for losing her temper, she punched one of the posts supporting the structure.

"She's being difficult, isn't she?"

Lou turned her head to find Gloria by her side, and realized that in her confrontation with Mrs. Giles, she had completely forgotten about the younger woman. "Oh I'm sorry. Please forgive my manners."

"You and Ari Giles don't get on well?" asked Gloria.

"You could say that," Lou muttered.

"She used to work for my father before she went with Kid, but I've never been too close to her. She was our cook, and as far as I know, she's a nice, honest woman. She's quite amiable too, and I'd never heard her sound so stiff before. It really baffled me."

"That's what Kid also says. I guess it's me who brings out the worst from her. It must be my fault then."

"Oh no, Louise!" Gloria exclaimed. "Some people just don't get along, but it's nobody's fault."

"Yeah, you're right. But it's imperative I get in good terms with somebody who's under my roof all day long."

"Yes, that's true," Gloria admitted. "You're gonna need a whole lot of patience." The woman paused, and kept thoughtful for a few seconds. "I think I know why she has this attitude to you. I imagine Kid has told you what happened to her son and daughter-in-law. Just horrible. Poor Ari. I'm so sorry for her." Lou wanted to tell Gloria she did not know the first thing about Ari or her son, and in fact, she was curious. Kid had just mentioned Mrs. Giles had had problems in her life, that was all, and now Gloria's words intrigued her. Yet, Lou did not have the chance to speak up as Gloria hooked her arm around hers, and said, "Let me walk with you to the feed store. That's where you're going, isn't it?"

"Yes," Lou replied, starting to walk along since Gloria had taken the lead and was steering her away.

"In the meantime you can tell me what your wedding was like. I don't really know yet what I've got myself into when I accepted Channing's proposal. I need all the advice you can give me."

Louise smiled as she kept walking arm in arm with her new friend. She did not think she had something useful to tell Gloria in that respect. Her wedding had been a discreet, small event. She and Kid didn't do anything special, and they had never aspired to have one of these extravagant weddings, so the arrangements had been small. Lou had bought her white wedding dress in Seneca, which was the only whim she had allowed herself to have despite the fact that she should not have worn white since she was not a virgin. That option had been taken from her unwillingly, so she had thought back then she should overlook that rule about the white color too. Kid had taken care of arranging everything with the reverend in church, and had hired the local music band for the small reception they had afterwards. And Rachel had kindly offered to cook the food. Besides that, they had invited just a small selection of friends and acquaintances. Apart from the Express family, they knew a few people in Rock Creek, among who was Tompkins, who were their guests at the wedding. Lou would also have wanted to have her siblings, and Emma and Sam on her very special day, but eventually none of them could make it. Emma could not travel since she had been heavily pregnant with the twins, and her siblings had stayed at the orphanage because Jeremiah had been fighting off a very strong cold, and Theresa had not wanted to leave her brother like that.

While they were in the feed store, true to her word, Gloria had asked Louise about her wedding, and talked about hers and her plans. Contrary to what Lou had imagined, Gloria wanted to have a small wedding. Even though her father had been a very successful businessman until recently and knew lots of people, she did not wish to be married among a bunch of strangers, but be surrounded by those she held dear to her heart. Both their families were not too big. Channing just had an old aunt who had raised him when his parents had died, and Gloria was just her father and a few relatives. Then they would invite some friends, who included Lou and Kid, the first ones on her list according to Gloria.

Louise had to admit she was enjoying the woman's company greatly. The more she knew Gloria, the better person she thought the woman was. Until now Lou had not realized how much she longed for some female companionship. She was used to having her sister around all the time, and it was now that she came to understand how much she missed Theresa and her friendship. Naturally, she was happy with her husband, but she had to admit she needed a female friend too.

Lou brought the wagon from where she had previously left it to stop in front of the feed store, and Gloria helped her load it with everything she had bought. Lou thanked her friend, and offered to drive her home. "But first, we need to pick up Mrs. Giles," Lou said.

Louise drove the wagon along the busy main street, and her eyes did not dare wander off as she had to maneuver the carriage skillfully so as to avoid other vehicles, horses, and people that mingled in a chaotic landscape along the street. "Ari's there," Gloria called, pointing at the woman, who stood in front of the mercantile holding a basket full of purchases.

Louise waved at the housekeeper at the same time that she called her name. The following couple of minutes seemed to go by in a blur, and Lou was not even aware of what happened. She was maneuvering the wagon, trying to approach the side of the street where Mrs. Giles was walking to. Crashing sounds reached her ears, and Louise just averted her eyes for one second to see a few drunkards involved in a fist fight. It had been just one second and then the worst had to happen.

"Louise!" Gloria's urgent voice cried at the same time that a sudden movement shook her body and a loud scream echoed above the dozens of noises around her. Instinctively, Lou yanked the reins strongly to stop the wagon, and as she turned her eyes to Gloria, and saw her look as pale as a ghost, she knew. Blindly she jumped off the wagon, and ran to the front where a group of people had already gathered. Her heart was pounding powerfully, her whole body was trembling, and when she saw her lying in front of the horse, an anguishing cry left her shivering lips. "Mrs. Giles!"


	28. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Craning his head inside the kitchen, Kid could see Lou's turned figure before the stove. From the way she stood and moved, he could tell she was still upset for what had happened today. After a few minutes he decided to announce his presence, so he approached and stopped beside her. "Hey," he called, using their greeting from their Pony Express days.

Lou did not say a word, just stretched her lips in a strange neutral expression, and kept stirring the soup she was making. Kid did not try to speak, just remained there, waiting and watching her. He knew that Lou could not be rushed, and when she was ready to talk, she would. Louise filled a spoon with some of the soup from the pot, blew on it, and brought it to her lips to taste it. "It needs salt," she muttered, and her eyes scanned the kitchen table and countertops to spot the salt cellar, and when she did not see it, she nervously started slamming the cabinet drawers and doors open and closed. "Where the hell is the salt?" she cried loudly, sounding almost desperate and on the verge of tears.

"Lou, calm down!" Kid stopped her hectic motions by taking her hands in his. "It's here," he said, grabbing the salt cellar from a shelf.

With a serious expression Louise took the salt from him, and added a pinch to the soup. "Honey," Kid started, breaking his promise to keep quiet, but Lou was too nervous to stand impassive. "You need to take it easy. Nothing's happened."

"Nothing?" Lou exclaimed, turning her anxious eyes to him. "I ran her over, Kid! I was supposed to smooth things between us, and I ran her over! I couldn't have done it worse even if I'd planned it beforehand!"

"Ari's fine, Lou," Kid said what he had already repeated to her too many times. "Apart from the scare, she's just sprained her ankle, that's all. A few days' rest and she'll be as good as new."

Lou sighed. "You know, this is just what Mrs. Giles needed to confirm I'm her least favorite person in the world."

"It was an accident, honey. How can you think Ari can take this any other way? I'm sure she knows you feel bad about the whole thing." Kid paused, and stroking her shoulder affectionately, he added, "Please don't worry about this. One day I'm sure we'll be able to laugh at this matter."

"Yeah, can't you see how hard I'm laughing?" Lou replied sarcastically, and at Kid's unhappy expression she averted her eyes and kept quiet. She was still upset and shaken by the whole incident to find Kid's words comforting. When she had seen Mrs. Giles lying on the ground, Lou had almost fainted on the spot. Thankfully, nothing too serious had happened to the woman, and the doctor had confirmed Ari had only hurt her ankle. Lou had told Mrs. Giles over and over again how sorry she was, and even though the woman had assured her weakly that everything was fine, Lou could not help but think that this new episode would add up to the woman's already poor opinion of her.

Lou removed the pot from the stove and ladled some soup onto a bowl. "Are we going to eat dinner yet?" asked Kid.

Louise shook her head. "Not yet. I'm taking this to Mrs. Giles, and see if she needs something else."

Kid smiled and gave her a peck on the check. "You're an angel, Lou. She'll love you for that."

"Sure," she replied with evident sarcasm as she placed the bowl of soup and a plate with cheese and bread on a tray. "She'll even kiss my feet for leaving her busted for a few days."

"Oh Lou…" Kid shook his head at her stubbornness, and just as she was going to walk out, he asked, "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, this is something I need to do on my own," Louise replied categorically.

Ari's hut was at the entrance of the property, and Lou slowly made her way through the yard. The sun hung low on the horizon, and the air felt cold and crisp, but her aggravation for the day's events prevented Lou from feeling anything. Holding the tray with one hand, Lou knocked on the door, and opened it a crack. She saw the housekeeper sitting in a rocking chair next to the fireplace, her bandaged leg stretched and resting on some cushions. Ari lifted her eyes from the framed photograph in her hands when she heard the knocks. "May I come in, Mrs. Giles?"

Ari just nodded, and Louise slid inside. "I've brought you some dinner. I'm sure it ain't as nice as your cooking, but I've tried my best… this time," Lou explained sheepishly as she left the tray on the table next to Ari.

"Thanks," Mrs. Giles replied in a dull voice. "You shouldn't have bothered."

"This is the least I can do," Lou replied honestly. "It's my fault you're hurt, and you can't cook when you can't stand as the doctor told you."

"It was an accident, and thanks for the food."

"Do you need anything else?" Lou asked.

Mrs. Giles eyed the smoking soup, and added, "A spoon… there are a few in the first drawer."

"Sure," Lou promptly said, and walked to the sideboard Ari was pointing at, and besides the spoon, she also took a napkin, and poured a glass of water for the woman.

"Thanks," Ari said again. "Can I bother you again? Could you possibly put this photograph with the others, Ma'am?"

Lou took the framed picture from her, and noticed a table at the opposite end of the hut where Ari's bed was. The table was full of framed photographs like the housekeeper had pointed out. As Lou made her way to the table, she dared to have a look at the photograph in her hands. It showed two young children, a boy and a girl.

Ari had noticed where Lou's gaze was, and all of the sudden, she said, "Those are my grandchildren when they were still quite young."

Lou stopped and turned her eyes to the woman. "They're cute," she remarked warily. She remembered what Ari had said about her personal matters being private, and after what had happened today, the last thing Louise wanted was to stoke the fire between her and Mrs. Giles.

"They're now in their teens," Ari continued as she kept eating her soup. "I haven't seen them in years."

Lou could not restrain her curiosity this time, and asked, "Why?"

"Their mother keeps them from me," Ari explained. "They're all I have left in this life, and I don't even know where they are."

"I… I'm sorry," Lou sincerely, feeling moved by the sadness she heard in the woman's voice.

"My son was a good man," Ari continued, almost talking to herself while she kept feeding herself the soup. "He was the best son a mother could wish for, and a wonderful father for his babies. Meeting and falling in love with Caroline was his ruin, bless him. He was always a clever and hard-working man. He first started working at the bank here, you know, like an errand boy; with time he got a position as a simple cashier, and in a few years he became the director's assistant and best man. He earned good money, and it was then he met Caroline. She was visiting a relative of hers here, and my son fell hard for her, unfortunately."

Ari paused to have a sip of water, and then continued, "They got married, and Caroline talked him into leaving his job at the bank and moving to the east. There in Boston he was a stranger, so he had to work hard to make his way in the city. He had several jobs at the same time, worked from dawn to dusk, but he just wanted his family to have a comfortable life. His apparent happiness and success suddenly broke and turned out to be a disguise of a reality he was not aware of. One day he discovered his 'wonderful' wife, the love of his life, was having a love affair with another man… had been cheating him for years." Ari stopped to let out a sigh, and fight the tears. "The man was a lawyer and a thief, and when my son wanted to divorce Caroline, those two vultures turned against my son viciously, and wounded him where it hurt most**.** Caroline and her man took the children with them, and fled nobody knows where, taking all the money my son had worked so hard for. Even though he tried everything, he couldn't find his children, or where their mother had taken them. So my son ended up alone, without a penny, just in a lonely house that brought him too many bitter memories. When he came back to me, he was a broken man. He was nothing like the man I knew he'd been. And I guess he was not strong enough to overcome all his problems. One week later I found him in his room, hanging by the neck with his own belt."

"Oh my God!" Lou exclaimed, horrified by the whole story. Her hand flew to her mouth in shock, and she realized then why Mrs. Giles had such a bad opinion of her. What her son had gone through with his wife had understandably made Ari think women were greedy, selfish creatures that only wanted to obtain some gain from marriage. And naturally her own story with Kid did not show her in a good light. "That's…. that's… that must've been so horrible for you. I'm so sorry, Mrs. Giles."

"After that, I tried everything to continue the search for my grandchildren, but that was a defeated battle since the beginning. I was told they had gone to Europe, but I just don't know," Ari muttered. "Life's so ungrateful"

Lou stared at Ari, unable to say a word, because whatever she said would be inappropriate. What Ari had told her was so huge that nothing she could utter would mean anything to the woman. When the housekeeper kept quiet too, Louise placed the photograph next to the other ones on the table. She then threw a casual look at them, and understood these were Ari's treasured memories and past. The photographs showed different people who Lou could guess were Mrs. Giles' parents, husband, and other relatives. Suddenly, Lou's attention got drawn to a picture in which there was a group of children, four of them, one of whom was a baby, resting on the only girl's lap. Louise stared at every face in the portrait, and the more she looked, the more intrigued and astonished she got. After scrutinizing the framed photograph for a few seconds, Lou grabbed it and walked back to the woman.

"Mrs. Giles?" she called urgently, pulling the photograph before her eyes.

The housekeeper calmly took the picture, and smiled sadly. "That's my son when he was barely thirteen with my best friend's kids," she explained, not noticing Lou's flabbergasted expression. "Unfortunately, they're gone from my life too."

"Da… Dana?" Lou whispered.

"Excuse me?" Ari asked, not catching what Louise had uttered.

"Is it you, Dana?" Louise repeated the same name again, this time more clearly.

A look of surprise passed over the woman's face. "Nobody has called me that in a very long time. Who… who are you?"

"I'm her!" Lou exclaimed, pointing energetically at one of the children in the photograph. "That girl is me, and these are my siblings!"

"Louise…" Ari breathed, completely bewildered by what she was hearing. "Oh my God, Louise! It's you! And you remember!"

"Of course I remember. I was eight when we had to leave."

"Come closer, please," Ari asked in a trembling voice. "Let me have a look at you."

Louise smiled as she took a few steps closer and sat down on the chair across from the woman. Ari's request could sound quite senseless, considering that she had landed in Fort Kearney almost two weeks ago, and Ari had the chance to lay eyes on her every day. Yet, it was true that it was different, and the way the woman was looking at Louise felt as if she was seeing her for the first time, and Lou also was experiencing the same feeling.

"Oh Louise, you've grown into such a beautiful woman!" Ari exclaimed. "You were always a very pretty girl, and I always kept telling your ma how lucky she was for having you, and how I wished I had a little girl just like you." Lou smiled and blushed at the compliment, and suddenly, Ari remembered what the young woman had told her the first day they had met. "What happened to your ma, child?"

"She passed away two years after we went," Lou whispered sadly. "She got very sick, and she knew she was gonna die. Then my siblings and I were sent to an orphanage in St. Joseph."

Ari shook her head. "Poor Mary, and you poor children," the woman muttered. "If I had known you had lost your mother, I'd…"

"Dana," Lou cut her off, "you couldn't have done anything. Three mouths to feed would've been too much for you."

"But at least I could have made sure you weren't or felt alone," Ari murmured morosely. After pausing for a second, she asked, "And your brother and sister?"

"Theresa's happily married, but Jeremiah died last year. Somebody stabbed him to death, but justice hasn't caught the culprit yet, I'm afraid."

"Oh Louise," Ari exclaimed reaching out for Lou's hand and squeezing it comfortingly. "You haven't had an easy life, my girl."

Louise shrugged her shoulders. "Life's never easy. Losing Ma and Jeremiah have been the worst two moments I had to go through," Lou muttered, reflecting that the third most horrid episode had been when she had believed Kid had died in war. Yet, she did not voice the thought to the woman. It was true that her existence had been full of grimness and heartache, but she was learning not to linger on those, and let the past go. "Apart from that, it's been hard work to reach where I am, but I have to say I'm proud of standing here. I've made many mistakes, and life hasn't made things easy, but in the long run I guess everything has a sense."

Ari nodded, trying to believe what the young woman was saying, but actually, she did not see much sense in many of the things that she had to undergo. The thought threatened her high mood, so she revved from that direction. "Did you ever hear about your father?"

Louise bobbed her head up and down. "He found us years later. It's a long story, but well, the bottom line is that he ain't with us anymore."

"I can't say I'm sorry," Ari remarked spitefully. "A good woman like your mother didn't deserve a rotten soul like him. The only good thing he gave her was you children." Lou kept quiet; she could not contradict what the woman was saying. "I still remember the day your mother found out what his business dealings really were. It was true you were well-provided, but what he had in money and properties from all those shady businesses of his was unbelievable."

"I guess the army took over all his patrimony," Lou muttered.

"You guess?"

Lou shrugged her shoulders. "That's what I figured out. I never gave that much thought."

"The least he could have done was to make sure he left his children enough to live a careless life… after all he put you through. I'd have expected a clever man like him would have considered keeping money safe and free from suspicion. But I guess he just cared about himself."

"I don't know if my father thought that much about us, but even if he had left us his money, I wouldn't have touched a cent."

Ari smiled. "You're a proud woman, huh?"

"I guess I am," Lou muttered, and as she lowered her eyes, they fell on the old photograph still on her lap that had caused her re-acquaintance with Dana.

Ari kept looking at the young woman before her with a stunned expression. "It's incredible you're here after so many years!" she exclaimed. "I've thought about you and your mother a lot in all this time as it had been in another life. I thought everything good I had enjoyed at some point was lost forever."

At Ari's words Lou focused her eyes on the thirteen-year-old boy next to her in the photograph. "I'm really sorry about Tommy," she whispered, touching the boy's printed face with her index finger. "He was a good friend… I remember he made me laugh a lot."

"And I secretly hoped that when you two grew up, you two would end up married… my son and my best friend's lovely girl," Ari said, and Louise lifted her eyes back to her. "Life really has mysterious ways," the woman continued. "You didn't marry my Tommy, but it turns out your husband is like a son to me, so in a way life has granted me my wish."

Lou kept thoughtful for a while. "You know what they say. Watch out what you wish for because it might come true."

Ari understood what Lou was telling her at once. "What happened between you and your husband, Louise? He was hurting real bad. When he opened up to me and told me his story, it was years after your break-up, and he was crying like a baby." Louise shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Ari's words brought up her demons once again. Fidgeting nervously, she pressed her hand against her forehead and then ran her fingers through her short hair several times. "Honey, Kid's a very good man."

"I… I know," Lou replied in a trembling voice.

"But he ain't perfect," Ari continued, almost repeating what Rachel had said weeks ago. "You know, he might fail like all human beings, but he ain't your pa."

"I know he isn't."

"I can hardly imagine how many nasty things you had to witness between your parents as a young girl. All those memories are inside you, and it's understandable your childhood has influenced the woman you are at present. But, Louise, your husband adores you. Anybody can tell by just seeing the way he looks at you. Don't spoil what you have trying to prove he's like your father. History doesn't always have to repeat itself, and all men ain't the same."

Lou kept thoughtful for a while, considering what Ari was saying. As she mused on it for the first time, she wondered whether there might be some truth there. Could it be that her fear for a marriage that mirrored her parents' had made her push Kid away? Had she purposefully struck the first blow, expecting he would hurt her? Memories of her childhood were still fresh in her mind, and she clearly recalled her father asking her ma to forgive him too many times, but he had always proved he did not deserve that forgiveness. Maybe those recollections had hardened her heart in such a degree that she had retaliated herself against the person who deserved her scorn least, her husband.

Louise sighed. "Maybe I'm just the kind of woman who shouldn't even consider marriage to begin with."

"Honey, don't torture yourself like that," Ari admonished her lightly. "We human beings are so complex, and sometimes we need to stop and think why we act the way we do. It may be obvious, but most of the time it isn't." She paused and took her hand among hers. "Louise, from what I've seen lately, I think you're a nice lady, and you can be a wonderful wife to your husband. I know you love him. Otherwise, you wouldn't have endured so stoically what I've put you through in these weeks."

"You did it on purpose," Lou remarked, not really surprised, and in a strange way amused.

"Well, you didn't make it too difficult," Ari joked. "I'm not proud, but well, I'm not perfect either. I have to say in my defense that you were gradually gaining ground with me. This soup you made was quite good actually."

Lou could not help but chuckle. "Thanks, Dana. I'm so happy to have found you."

"Me too, honey. You can't imagine how much this means to me."


	29. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

The sound of knocks at the door resounded in the hut, interrupting the moment between the two women, and as Ari turned to look, she saw Kid's head pop out. "Come inside, young man," the woman said. "Don't stand there."

Kid stepped inside, and straightway he noticed in surprise his wife holding his housekeeper's hand. "I wanted to know how you were doing, Ari," Kid asked.

Lou smiled, aware that Kid had actually come to check on her, and how things were going on. Yet, she kept her opinion for herself. "Much better now," Ari replied, sharing a knowing look with Louise. "I had a very pleasant surprise just now." Kid frowned quizzingly, and Ari added, "Seems your wife and I knew each other years before I met you."

"Dana used to live next door to my parents' when I was just a child," Louise explained, pointing at her portrait in her hands.

"Dana?" Kid asked, confused.

"Back then I went by my full name, Ariadna. Your wife, then a tiny tot, was starting to speak, but couldn't say my very long name, and called me something like Dana. That stuck, and for many years many people called me just Dana."

Kid was looking at the photograph that was guilty of the two women getting reacquainted after so many years. "You were a pretty little thing, Lou, but that's hardly surprising," he muttered, thinking that if one day they had a baby girl, she would look like Lou in this picture.

"Dana and my ma were good friends. This woman," Lou continued, tapping Ari's hand, "helped us so much when things were nasty with my father. She opened her home to us when we… when my pa was in an irritable mood, and was dangerous to be around. The day my mother decided to leave him for good, we could escape from his claws thanks to Dana. My ma always regretted losing contact with her since she couldn't risk us being found by my father, and naturally she never stopped talking highly of her very good friend."

"I just did what any good Christian would have done. Mary was like a sister to me," Ari said in disregard.

Kid glanced at the housekeeper with renewed admiration. "Give yourself some credit, Ari. Think that thanks to you, Lou's now my wife." The housekeeper stared at the young man with a frown, and Kid added, "Who knows where Lou would be now if you hadn't helped her mother escape Boggs? She might not be here with us, and there is a great chance she and I would have never met."

Kid stooped and placed a soft kiss on his wife's cheek, as his own words and the possibility of that happening scared him. Lou smiled at his attention, and said, "Kid's right. We owe you a lot, Dana."

Ari shook her head, feeling she had not done so much to deserve their thankfulness. John Boggs had been a tyrannical, cold, cruel man with everybody, including his family, and the satisfaction of helping Mary Louise and her children away from him was enough reward for her. It was very disappointing, though, to learn that despite all they had to do for Mary to make her escapade, freedom and relief had lasted too little as she had died shortly afterwards. "If you want to repay me, then stay together happily, and bring a baby to this house I can spoil."

Louise blushed and giggled at the woman's comment while Kid said, "Believe me, Ari. We're trying…every night."

"Kid!" Lou exclaimed, smacking him on the leg as her cheeks flamed with embarrassment.

"Honey, there's no reason to turn all shy. Ari already knows we're married, and has a certain idea what married folks do in the bedroom at night," Kid replied teasingly.

"And if you don't behave, those nights are gonna be veeeeery lonely," Lou continued the jest, emphasizing her words and sticking her tongue out at him.

Ari started laughing, and soon the couple also joined in her mirth. Conversation continued as Kid asked question after question, obviously curious about the common past of the two women, and Ari kept reminiscing countless moments from that time, many of which Lou had no recollection of.

An hour later the married couple was walking back to the house. Kid had his arm around her shoulders and Lou wrapped hers around his waist. She glanced up and noticed his faraway look, and wondered what he was thinking about. "Where is that mind of yours right now, Kid? Not here with me, I know as much."

"I was just thinking that some things are meant to be," Kid replied. "Look what happened today, Lou. You were completely distraught about the incident in town a while ago, and see where all this has led you… to discover that sweet link with Ari."

"Are you saying that it is a good thing I ran her over?"

Kid smiled. "No, but something good did come out of it. Had it not been for what happened today, you might never have gone to Ari's hut and found that photograph that led you to know who she was to you. Life is really full of surprises, and what we call coincidence is the way we are guided on the road we should follow. Call it destiny, fate, or predestination. Some things are just meant to happen." Kid paused, and then added, "Did you see Ari's beaming face tonight, Lou? I don't think I've ever seen her smile so much and look as radiant as just now. It's as if she's gained part of her life back, and her heart ain't so empty now."

Lou sighed. "She told me about her son. So horrible."

"Yes, I know. That must have broken her completely."

"Kid," Louise called, and stopped to turn to him and look into his eyes. "Please promise me you would never let yourself fall so deep… so desperately deep."

The young man frowned at his wife's request. "You don't plan on leaving me, do you?"

At his words a chill coursed all over her body, and once again fear shook her whole body. "When I heard Dana talk about her son and her daughter-in-law, I thought about us… about me and our past. It scared me to death to think their story could have been ours. You couldn't do that… what Tommy did. Tell me you couldn't."

Kid took her hands. "I don't think their story is like ours, Lou. Don't think about it. Life is too beautiful with you in it to think about death. We've survived the worst, haven't we? And I still think some things are meant to be. Maybe we needed that to grow strong."

"I… I hope so," Lou muttered hesitantly.

"We're fine, honey, and now that things are settled with Ari, which was the only thing that worried you; everything's bound to be better. Please don't think about the rain when there are no clouds in the sky."

"Yes, you're right," Lou admitted. "I'm sorry for being so negative."

"Maybe we need a bit of cheering up, Mrs. McCloud. What do you say if we mind Ari and try to fill this house with children? You said it yourself, we owe her big, and that's what she wants."

Lou chuckled, fear fading little by little, and her mind feeling more relaxed. "I don't recall her saying anything about a house full of babies. She just mentioned one."

"One, two, a dozen, who cares? We'll start with one, and then play as we go," Kid remarked lightheartedly. Louise's shining eyes stared at him, mesmerized and beaming, and as she remained silent, Kid added, "So Mrs. McCloud, shall we try or not?"

Louise hooked her arm through his, hinting he should lead the way. "We haven't even had dinner yet," she remarked as they resumed walking towards the house.

"That's why I'm so hungry for you," he whispered in her ear. "When you're around, I don't need anything else… just you."

Lou blushed with pleasure, feeling very lucky and proud of the man who was her husband. How she had been able to be without him for so long, she did not know. Now she was full of dreams of a long life next to him, of a house full of children, like he had said, and of love and passion. Could she dare to dream that could be possible? That was all she wished for, but a little voice in her mind kept whispering to be careful, that danger was on its way, and their dreams could crumble down and be turned into nothing sooner than she might think. Another shiver shook her body, and she steeled her hold onto him as they walked into the house. She did not want to hear those whispers inside her head; she just wanted to be deaf and blind, and hear his voice and look through his eyes. Then why didn't that darn voice keep quiet?

* * *

"We'll be back in a few weeks," Lou said as she placed her carpet bag in the back of the wagon. "I just need to pick up my things in Seneca, and sort out my business there."

"I'm gonna miss you two. These weeks are going to feel endless," Ari added.

Lou smiled and squeezed her shoulder fondly. In the last couple of weeks the two women had become closer than Louise ever fathomed. She and Dana, like Lou still called the older woman, had lain good ground for their further relationship, and Louise felt she had found the closest thing to her mother. Not only had Dana known her as a child, but she had been like a sister to her ma, and loved her dearly.

In this time the two women had the chance to talk, and Louise had gained back memories and mementos she had lost in the immensity of time. She enjoyed being around Ari, and the woman was even showing her way around the kitchen. Lou had always wanted to improve her cooking skills long ago, but it had just been her fault she had not fulfilled her aim. When she had first married, she had intended to learn from Rachel, and actually, she had got together with the former station mistress on several occasions to pick up a thing or two from her. Yet, when Kid had gone to war and later she had thought he had been killed, Lou had been too upset to care for her cooking skills or for anything else. Back then she and her siblings spent a great deal of time at Rachel's, and even when they received the good news that Kid was alive, they continued with the same routine. And of course when she had moved to Seneca, there was nobody that could teach her, and Lou made do the best she could. Now she enjoyed learning from Dana, who was as good a cook as Emma or Rachel. With Dana, Lou might not need to set a foot in the kitchen, but she needed to feel useful and help around the house as much as she could. Naturally she knew she was not a good housewife, but she intended for that to change.

"Why don't you meet us in Seneca like I told you?" Lou suggested.

Ari shook her head. "I'd really love to see your sister even though I'm aware she doesn't know who I am. It'd please me to see her as a fully grown woman; she was a baby the last time I saw her. However, I'm too old to travel."

Louise narrowed her eyes skeptically, and rested her hands on her hips in a challenging stance. "Oh come on, Dana! You ain't old. I haven't seen anybody as energetic as you are. You really work your fingers to the bone around here. How can you call that old?"

"It's my job," Ari just said, and as Lou was about to protest, she added, "I'd rather stay here… honestly, Louise."

Lou finally relented. "All right, as you wish. But if you change your mind in this week, know you're welcome there. In any case, Tessie will have to visit me sometime here, so you'll have your chance to see her then."

Kid then appeared out of the stables, carrying his saddlebags, blankets, and bedrolls they might use while on the trail. Their plans included spending a week together somewhere they chose before heading for Seneca.

"Are you ready?" he asked once he left everything on the back of the wagon.

Lou nodded, and Kid turned to his housekeeper. "Take care of yourself while we're gone, Ari. You know, Mr. Moore's son will be coming every day to muck out the stables and feed the horses. He knows where everything is, so don't worry about him." He paused, and added, "We'll be back soon anyway."

"Take care of yourself and your wife, young man," Ari said, pressing his hands between hers.

"You know I will."

Louise came forward, and hugged the woman warmly. "Thanks for everything, Dana."

"Give your sister my love," Ari said. "See you and Kid when you return."

The tone in her voice sounded to Lou's ears like a question, and she stared back at the woman agape, totally confused. Louise was not sure if that pseudo-question implied that Dana wondered if she and Kid would remain together in this time, or maybe she was questioning whether Lou would be coming back at all. Her body suddenly shuddered with a strange cold sensation, and her heart started thumping. She did not like what she was feeling, and once again her whole spirit was dominated by deep fears she could not control.

"Let's go, Lou," Kid said, oblivious of her inner sensations. Louise nodded, and almost by inertia she followed him to the front of the carriage, and got onto the seat with his help.

"Goodbye, Ari!" Kid exclaimed as he slapped the reins on the horses' back and set the wagon into motion. Louise turned on the seat to look back, and saw Ari waving at them. Lou copied the gesture, and energetically swayed her hand to and fro in goodbye. When Ari could hardly be made out in the distance, Louise turned her eyes back ahead, and she realized she was crying. Kid had noticed her tears too, and reached out for her had. "Don't be sad. We'll be back before we realize it."

"I know," she replied in a low tone as she wiped her tears. The same nagging voice from days before resounded in her mind with a clear question: _"Do you really know?"_ The words kept repeating over and over again, and to her shock she realized that she was absolutely scared of the answer.

* * *

Tongues of fire roared in the heart, casting its shadows on the walls and ceiling of the darkened room. Moans and grunts of pleasure could be heard, alternated by soft whispers and murmured words of love. A passionate cry went up in the night as the lovers reached the climax, and silence then ensued, just broken by the pants of the couple, breathless and beaming after joining their bodies and souls in an ultimate act of love.

Wrapped arms and legs around each other, Kid and Louise snuggled up as close as possible. The Southerner brought his hand to caress her face and kissed her on the lips. "I love you," he breathed against her mouth while his hand wandered from her neck to the softness of her naked back.

Lou sighed. "I think I could easily get used to leading this kind of life every day."

"Me too," Kid confessed.

They had been traveling quite a lot in the last week. Kid had given his wife the option to choose where she wished they spent their outstanding honeymoon. Louise had wanted to re-live their past moments and memories, and go back to the places that marked milestones in their relationship. Therefore, they had ridden to all those towns that they remembered with great fondness. They started in Sweetwater where they spent a couple of days, then they had ridden to Redfern, where they had first made love, and Lou had even insisted they drop by the hut where Kid had found out her true gender. The hut had been turned into a shelter for shepherds, hunters or even just drifters, and being empty at the time, the couple had enjoyed a passionate night, which added a new memory to the place. Yesterday they had arrived in Davenport, the town where Lou had accepted his marriage proposal, and this would be their last night of freedom, since tomorrow they would be heading for Seneca.

"Everything good has to finish some time," Lou muttered wistfully.

"It doesn't mean we can't do this again," Kid replied.

Lou nodded, and kept thoughtful for a while. "I wonder what my sister will say when she sees you," she mused as her fingers ran over his chest.

"Do you think she might not like us being back together?"

"Tessie has always been quite discreet about what happened between us. Before I left, she told me she hoped I could find a good man and be happy. And I've done that, haven't I?" Kid smiled, but the awkwardness he showed in his face did not go unnoticed by Lou. "Don't worry, Kid. Tessie's always liked you."

"You should have written to her to explain our situation," Kid pointed out. Lou shrugged her shoulders, and he added, "What about her husband?"

"Albert? Hard to tell. He's sometimes a peculiar character. I ain't even sure if he knows I'm married."

Kid frowned. "How's that so?"

"Well, since I've always shared our surname with my siblings, everybody assumed I was a Miss, not a Mrs. Back then I didn't feel like correcting that when… well, you know. I imagine our marriage is gonna surprise a few people."

"Does that worry you?"

"Course not," Lou replied promptly. "I'm sure you and Albert will get along. In any case, what he says or even what Tessie says shouldn't concern us too much. We don't need anybody's permission."

"Lou, let me ask you this again. Are you sure you want to take apart the life you built in Seneca? You know, we can talk about all our options."

"I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I want to be with you, and make the ranch our home. I'm already happy there."

Kid smiled at her words. His mouth demanded her lips once again. He knew he could never get enough of her. Maybe the long years of absence and emptiness made him long for her with greater passion and yearning. This was a dream. Having Lou was a fantasy for many years, and now that it had come true, he often had to pinch himself to make sure he was not dreaming. A long road lay before them, and he could envision a full life of dreams and plans waiting for them. They had barely started walking together, and he could hardly wait to take and experience every step with the woman that meant everything to him.


	30. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Giggling and soaked to the bones, Louise tried to open the door in the darkened alley, but her hands faltered as behind her some fingers tickled her sides. "Stop it!" she scolded her husband, swatting his hands off. Kid was as drenched as she was, and drops of water dripped from his hat and clothes.

Last night they had stopped to spend the night in the open. The sky had been studded with bright stars and a full moon smiled above them. Yet, at some point torrential rain had surprised them in their sleep, so the weather had decided for them, and the couple had to break camp, and drive to Seneca under the rain. When they had reached the city, a slight drizzle was falling, but by then they were already wet.

Louise turned her attention back to the door. In an attempt not to wake up and startle her sister and brother-in-law, who at this time were surely sleeping, Lou decided they should make their way into the house through the back door of the store. Inside there was a staircase that led directly to the second floor where her bedroom was. After a couple of attempts, she managed to unlock and open the door, and turned to Kid. "Keep as quiet as a mouse. We don't want to wake them up."

Kid nodded, and followed her inside. Everything was pitch black, and barely had he taken a few steps when his knee knocked on some kind of stout wooden piece, and an involuntary curse left his lips. "Shush, Kid!" Lou berated him in a whisper. "Do you want Albert to think we're thieves and shoot us on the spot?" As soon as the words were out, she could not help but giggle amused. She just could not imagine her brother-in-law brandishing a gun and shooting. The odds leaned more to Theresa handling a shotgun than her husband. Albert, bless his soul, was on the weak side, and Lou doubted he was capable of hurting a fly. "Just follow me, honey."

They managed to make their way across the room, and soon they were climbing the stairs. Lou took his hand and led him along the corridor, stopping at the third door. Once inside the room, Lou felt her way to the dresser, and managed to light a lamp. Kid squinted for a moment as the light suddenly hit him, but when his eyes got used to it, he scanned around until his gaze fell on Lou, who was stripping off her coat.

"Very nice," Kid said.

Lou looked at him quizzingly. "You mean the room?"

"No, you," he whispered, staring at her intensely.

It was then that Lou realized where his eyes were fixed, and looking down at herself, she noticed that her wet blouse, sticking to her skin, left little scope for imagination. "Hey!" she exclaimed, feigning embarrassment and folding her arms over her chest.

Kid took several steps closer and ended up standing inches from her. "We need to get you out of those clothes," he whispered flirtingly, and his mouth lowered to her neck, kissing and caressing it while his hands worked on opening her buttons. Their lips eventually found each other hungrily, and as they kissed, they gradually discarded their wet clothes, which wound up scattered all over the room. Kid wrapped his arms around her waist, and lifted her from the floor. Clad just in her bloomers, Louise encircled her legs around him, and among hot kisses Kid started moving towards the bed. Unable to see his way around, Kid took an unsteady step, and tripped over his own boots. Louise let out a shriek as she unexpectedly found herself flying in the air, and then dropped heavily on the bed, and just seconds later her slim body was crushed as Kid fell on top of her.

The unexpected tumble disoriented both of them for a few seconds, and with their faces almost touching, they stared at each other for a while. Seeing his shy and dumbfounded expression, Louise suddenly burst out laughing, loud peals of laughter echoing in the bedroom, and soon Kid also joined her. His hands found her sensitive sides, tickling her, which made her laugh even harder. Lou tried to escape his grasp, and for a while they fought in mock until once again they kissed endlessly. "I want you," Lou whispered as his lips left her mouth to nuzzle her neck, and in a bold motion, she snuck one of her hands under his long john bottoms to caress the firm skin of his buttocks.

A loud, sudden bang resounded in the room, and at once the couple got startled and let go of each other. Kid got a glimpse of the door opening and hitting the wall, and in a flash he pushed Louise behind him protectively. As he sat up, blocking her, he tugged at the quilt to cover himself as soon as he saw a lanky, tall man in a nightshirt standing under the threshold and menacingly holding a poker with both his hands. "Albert," Louise panted as she spotted the man from behind Kid.

"Louise?" he exclaimed in clear surprise. "What on earth is going on?"

The sounds of steps succeeded, and Theresa appeared in her nightclothes. Her eyes narrowed as she looked between her husband and the couple in the bed. Her face showed almost shock as she exclaimed, "Louise and… Kid!" She uttered the Southerner's name with greater emphasis in apparent astonishment. Noticing the lack of clothes on them, she lowered her eyes, and muttered, "We … we heard a noise, and… and…"

"Sorry for waking you up. We tried to be as quiet as possible," Lou said, snuggling closer to Kid and pressing her naked chest against his back.

"It's… it's fine," Theresa stammered, lifting her eyes. Embarrassed and awkward, the young woman kept quiet, and stared at the couple.

"Uh… Tessie, maybe we could talk about everything tomorrow," Lou hinted, eager to see them go, as it seemed her sister and brother-in-law were reluctant to do so. They were frozen on the spot, and Lou was getting nervous under their scrutinizing eyes.

"Oh…oh sure!" Theresa exclaimed, blushing at her own indiscreet attitude. "Let's go to bed, Albert," she said, hooking her arm around her husband's, and steering him out of the bedroom.

As the door closed, Louise flopped onto the bed, howling with laughter. Kid shifted his body to lie next to her, and made a face. "My, what an entrance we've made!"

Lou coughed, and tried to control her giggles. "And I was worried how to tell them about us. I guess there's no need now… it's pretty clear," Lou remarked with an amused grin. She paused, and shaking her head she added, "What's with us that we are caught in these kinds of compromising situations? Remember in Rock Creek with Rachel and Jimmy?"

"I don't know. Maybe it is because we can't keep our hands off each other," he replied enticingly, and true to his words, his hands crept to caress her naked shoulders.

His touch felt electrifying, and a moan left her lips. Louise closed her eyes, and arched her back as his hands moved further and made their way downwards. "Please…" she begged in a whisper, but her voice died as her lips were captured by his, both continuing where they had left off before the interruption.

Outside Theresa and her husband walked in silence towards their bedroom, and as she looked up, she straightaway noticed the expression on Albert's face. The way his brown eyes gazed ahead and his pencil moustache pointed upwards let her know he was upset. "What are you thinking about, Albert?"

The man did not speak up right away, and when they reached the bedroom, he carefully closed the door, and said, "Your sister! Didn't you see what I saw? I can't believe she'd engage herself in such… such immorality! Getting a man in her bed and our house! I always thought she was a decent…"

"Hold your horses there, Albert!" Theresa cut him off. "Don't you dare go down that road, Mr. Keller. My sister doesn't deserve that judgmental buck wash! For your information, that man is her husband!"

Albert frowned. "Her husband?"

"She married him years ago, but then they fell out for reasons I don't think we have the time to discuss now. For obvious reasons I guess her visit to Rock Creek must have brought them close, and apparently they've made up," Theresa explained with a smile.

"And why on earth have I never heard about this husband?"

Theresa shrugged her shoulders. "My sister's always been very protective of that part of her life, and reluctant to talk about him. Their fall-out wasn't a nice matter. I think it hurt her too much to just mention his name, and I always respected her desire for privacy and silence."

"You could have told me," Albert insisted.

"You're right," Theresa admitted. "I… I guess I was kind of afraid you'd think less of her because of the way she decided to live her life without her husband. You know, your ideas about marriage are a bit strict."

"Strict? I think it's the only way to consider the state of marriage," Albert stated firmly. "In any case, I still think it's wrong of her to bring that man in our house and without our permission."

"Oh come on, Albert," Theresa exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around her husband's neck. "We always tell her this is also her home. Do you want to kick them out now? Both of them are part of our family, honey, or do you expect them to stay at a hotel now that her husband is back?" Albert remained silent and with a skeptical expression. "Admit the confusion was hilarious… awkward but funny." As Albert still kept quiet, Theresa raised herself on her tiptoes and kissed him on the mouth. The young man soon followed his wife's lead, but as he was about to deepen the kiss, he stopped when he felt Theresa giggle against his lips.

"What's so funny?" he asked as he pulled away.

"I can still hear them," Theresa explained, grinning. Albert perked up his ears, and very faintly he could make out some kind of guttural or shrieking sounds and the creaking of a bed.

Theresa laughed and sitting on her rocking chair she started to remove her slippers. "Louise has always been quite passionate with Kid. When Jeremiah and I first moved with them, they'd just got married, and we could hear them every night. At the time I didn't really know what they did in their bedroom to be so noisy… After being in an orphanage run by nuns, I didn't have much idea about things between men and women. Miah had to explain it to me, and I was so curious that I even talked him into spying on my sister and her husband when… you know."

"Theresa!" Albert exclaimed, totally aghast.

"Don't throw a tantrum, for goodness' sake. We never saw anything even though we tried. They were too careful. What we've seen tonight is way more than what we tried to see back then." Theresa paused, and thinking about Louise and Kid together now made her aroused. "Albert, why don't we follow their example?" she said suggestively as she pulled up her nightgown to show her bare legs and thighs to her husband.

"I'm not in the mood," Albert replied gruffly, and got himself into bed, covering himself up and turning his back to his wife. Theresa was used to his weird moods, so she simply rolled her eyes and turned around on the bed, and laid down next to him. She looked at him hopefully, but Albert already had his eyes closed. Theresa sighed, and after putting out the lamp, she rested her head on the pillow, and got ready for sleep come to her once again.

* * *

The following morning as Kid and Lou walked into the dining room, Albert was already at the table, tasting his coffee and reading the newspaper. At the sound of steps the young accountant looked up, and simply stared in silence at the two newcomers.

"Good morning," Lou greeted him with a smile and took a seat across from her brother-in-law.

"Morning," Albert replied, but his eyes did not meet Lou's, but kept appraising the man who apparently was her husband.

"Let me introduce myself," Kid said. "I'm Kid McCloud, Lou's husband."

"So I've heard," Albert said, shaking hands with Kid and silently wondering why a man would take his wife's family name. "Would you join us for breakfast, Mr. McCloud?"

"Please just call me Kid."

The Southerner was about to sit on the chair next to his wife when a voice interrupted him. "Kid!" Theresa exclaimed as she appeared, carrying a bowl of hard-boiled eggs she placed on the table. "It's so good to see you!" she added, and came to give him a hug.

"It's been to long, and if your husband allows me, I have to say you've turned into a very beautiful woman."

"Thanks," Theresa replied, blushing.

Kid finally sat down, and Theresa took the seat across from the married couple. The blonde girl kept smiling, happy to see her sister and Kid back together. The hope that Louise would reconsider her attitude and patch up things with her husband had always been in Theresa's heart, but as time went by, that hope had faded to nothing. That was why, when Lou was about to set off for Rock Creek, Theresa had urged her sister to break up with Kid completely and find love again. Yet, Theresa could not have dreamt about a better resolution. She had always liked Kid, and was convinced that he was the man for her sister like Albert was for her.

"So you've been together since you met in Rock Creek, huh?" Theresa asked, unable to control her curiosity any longer.

Kid and Lou shared a revealing smile. Louise then turned her attention back to her sister and nodded. "We've been in Fort Kearney where Kid has his ranch." Lou then proceeded to explain what they had been doing in these weeks, how things were in Fort Kearney, about Dana, about their 'honeymoon', and of course about their plans to return to the ranch and set their home there.

Theresa's smile had disappeared and Albert looked at Louise with a very obvious scowl. "Tessie, we need to talk about the store," Lou continued, having a sip of her tea. "Maybe you'd like to take it over. After all, you've practically been running it with me for years, and nobody knows about it better. But if you ain't interested, I can always talk to Jack."

Theresa stared at her sister agape, and very slowly she said, "You're leaving Seneca."

Before Lou could reply, Albert broke in after being silent for most of the conversation, "Louise, are you sure of what you intend to do?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"You can't just leave everything for the first man that crosses your path."

"One moment…" Kid spoke up, annoyed by the man's words, but stopped when Lou rested her hand on his arm, silently asking him to stay put and let her handle the situation.

"Albert, let me remind you Kid's my husband."

"And where was your husband all these years? Where was he when you first opened the store and had not idea what you were getting yourself into? Where was he when you struggled to make ends meet? Where was he when you were sick with sadness when your brother died? Where was he when we welcomed you to this house with open arms?"

"That's enough!" Lou raised her voice in annoyance. "Albert, I thank you and my sister for having been so supportive for so long, but what happens between me and my husband is private. My decision ain't open for discussion."

Albert kept a serious countenance, and despite Lou's words, Theresa still could not keep quiet. "Kid, I can't believe you're ready to uproot my sister from her family."

"Tessie, for goodness' sake!" Lou exclaimed. "I really didn't expect this reception from you two. This is my decision, and I hoped you could be happy for me. My place is with my husband, and we've wasted too much time without each other."

"But I'm gonna miss you so much," Theresa pouted as if she were a small girl.

Lou smiled. "Me too, but this is what I have to do."

"And Fort Kearney ain't so far away," Kid stepped in. Theresa gave her a resigned look, and the Southerner looked between the young woman and her husband. "And I promise I will take good care of Lou and make her as happy as she deserves."

Louise squeezed her husband's arm affectionately after his words. "We don't doubt that, Kid," Theresa replied, trying to come to terms with the idea that soon her beloved sister and best friend would be too far away.

"We'll still be staying here for a couple of weeks," Lou said.

"Then we'll have to make the most of our time with Louise, won't we, honey?" Theresa remarked, looking at her husband.

"We don't have many more options," Albert said, forcing a smile onto his face. He shifted his eyes to Kid, whose attention was on his breakfast. Albert thought he did not like the fella that claimed to be his sister-in-law's husband. Theresa had explained their story in general terms this morning, and Albert wondered what this man wanted from Louise after so much time. It was a bit strange that he had reconciled with his wife so suddenly, and Albert mused that there must be something more there than met the eye. Albert made a mental note to keep an eye on him in these weeks and see what this Kid guy hid. After all, he thought, he still felt like a guardian to his wife's sister and she was his responsibility.


	31. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Among shadows, the flickering wick of an oil lamp shed its light over the stack of papers on top of the neatly arranged desk. The office was small, with just enough room for a table and a couple of chairs. There was not even a single window, so the atmosphere was usually gloomy and dark at all times of the day.

Sitting at the desk, Louise hunched over the pile of papers, carefully examining each of them. Since she had been away for too many weeks, the paperwork and receipts to check mounted up. Louise usually took care of the store accounts, occasionally requesting Albert's help, but this time she had not asked him to see to the paperwork during her absence because she had not counted on being away so long. In any case, now that she planned to stop running the store, she had to revise and check that everything was in order. Theresa had not told her yet whether she would like to accept her proposition, and after this morning's awkward exchange Lou had not wanted to insist.

The sound of a door being unlocked and opened echoed in the store, and a voice ensued. "My, you're back!"

Lou's attention got drawn away from the tedious paperwork and she smiled when she realized who was talking. "Jack," she said and rose to her feet. "It's good to see you. Yes, I'm back… came back last night."

"You know, things haven't been the same without you," Jack replied, taking a few steps closer and staring directly into her eyes.

Lou started feeling uncomfortable, and lowered her gaze. Jack Stewart had started working for her a year ago as the city had grown, and so had the business. Jack was an attractive bachelor in his early thirties who lived with an uncle of his. Since almost the beginning, Lou had noticed a peculiar interest from the young man, and a few months after he had asked her permission to court her. Lou had naturally said no, but even though Jack had not insisted again, she sometimes could feel his uncomfortable looks and even lust, which even scared her. However, Jack was a harmless soul, and in the year she had known him, he had proved to her he was a good man and a hard-worker. Louise had never regretted hiring him because it was very enjoyable to work alongside such an amiable man.

"Has it been busy around here?" Lou asked, tactfully turning from him and arranging the iron weights next to the scales.

"Like usual. Nothing ever changes around here."

Lou raised her eyes to him after his comment. "Some things might change now," she let out, and at Jack's frown, she added, "We need to discuss something."

"All right then," Jack replied. "Let me make you a cup of your favorite tea first."

"Thanks."

As Jack walked to the end of the store where there was a small stove, Lou returned to her tiny office and the accounts. A pencil in her hand, she ran her finger down the list on a paper, checking every single item, when suddenly her eyes lost their vision as a couple of hands covered them. Lou got startled and inhaled deeply. The familiar touch and the scent she knew so well told her it was Kid straightaway. His lips lowered to her neck and nuzzled it, and then Louise was tempted by a wicked idea, and decided to play a little game.

A moan escaped her lips as she said, "Oh gosh, I love it… you always know how to stir the fire inside me. Oh Richard!"

At once the hands let go of her as well as the lips on her neck. Lou turned in her chair, and when she saw Kid's unhappy and shocked expression she burst out laughing. "Gotcha!" she said among hysterical giggles.

"It ain't funny, Lou," he replied without a pinch of amusement in his voice.

Louise rose to her feet and came up to him. "Oh I'm sorry," she said in an exaggerated apologetic tone, and cupping his face in her hands, she kissed his mouth. "I was just joking," she said and kissed him again.

When Louise pulled away, Kid noticed a man standing a few feet from them and holding a cup of tea. Louise blushed as she saw Jack staring at them with a flabbergasted expression. Smiling awkwardly at her employee, she walked away from Kid towards him. "Uh, Kid, this is Jack Stewart. I told you about him, didn't I? Lou said, sheepishly taking the steaming cup from the man.

"Yes, you did. How do you do?" the Southerner said enthusiastically, shaking hands with the man. "I'm Louise's husband."

"Hu… husband?" Jack stammered in obvious surprise, and sent an annoyed look at his boss, which she ignored. It took Jack a second to get a grip of himself, and he said, "Then I guess congratulations are in order."

"Uh…" Kid's voice faltered, not sure what to say. This kind of reaction was not alien to him since the same had also happened with his acquaintances in Fort Kearney when he had told them about his wife. Few people had known he had been married for long, and the situation for Lou was practically identical. It was an awkward position since he could not accept those congratulating words for a supposedly recent wedding, but at the same time he did not want to explain their matters with Lou to every single soul he came across. "Uh… thanks. Having Lou in my life is enough reason to deserve your congratulations."

Jack did not say anything. The smell of Lou's tea lingered in the air and wafted into Kid's nostrils. "What's that?" he asked curiously.

"My tea," Lou said flatly.

"Tea? It smells quite strong," Kid said, and taking the cup, he dared to take a sip. Instantly, his forehead and nose scrunched up in disgust. "What on earth is this concoction?"

"A special tisane," Jack explained in a stiff tone. "It has different leaves, herbs, and spices. My uncle is an herbalist, and makes special natural compositions."

"It really helps my stomach," Lou added. "And I like it."

Kid then said he was going out for a while, and after kissing Lou on the cheek and bidding Jack goodbye, the Southerner walked out. As the little bell attached to the store door tinkled as it closed behind Kid, Jack turned his annoyed eyes to Louise. "Nice chap… your new husband," he said, not bothering to hide the irritation and sarcasm from his voice.

"He ain't really new," Lou replied non-chalantly. "We've been married for quite a long time, but we had problems, and led separate lives for a bunch of years."

Jack shook his head, feeling anger soar in his heart. "I really didn't expect this from you."

Louise did not like the tone he was using to talk to her, and grew annoyed as well. "Expect what?" she exclaimed. "Why on earth do you sound so annoyed?"

"You made a fool out of me, Louise McCloud! You know what I feel about you and…"

"I said no," Lou reminded him, cutting his angry speech short. "And I told you my reasons."

"Yes, your reasons… all that crap about it being a bad idea since we work together," Jack spat angrily.

"That's not what I just said. I told you I didn't feel that way about you. Did you erase that from your mind or what?"

"I had hopes that you eventually would change your mind about me. You seemed to like me, and I really hoped," Jack added in a low voice.

"And I do like you, Jack. You're a nice man, and a good friend, that's what you are to me. I don't think I gave you any reasons to believe I wanted anything but friendship from you. Or do you think my behavior to you was reproachable?"

"No," Jack admitted between gritted teeth, "but if you had told me you were married."

"Jack, I don't need to use my marriage as an excuse. I just told you how I felt, and that should have been enough. Kid and I were separated for years, and I really thought we'd never get back together again. Do you honestly think your expectations would have changed knowing I had a husband miles from here, and our marriage was practically ruined?"

"I had a right to know," Jack insisted, totally shattered by the pain of learning Lou's heart was not free. He had really thought one day Louise would be his, and now this out-of-the-blue husband of hers changed everything. "I'm really disappointed in you."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Lou muttered. "I really am."

Jack took a few steps closer, and his angry eyes fixed on her. "Louise McCloud, I hope he breaks your heart real bad, and you feel in your soul what pain is actually like."

Jack turned his back to Lou, and walked away. Louise wanted to say something, anything, but the words did not come to her. It was not right what was happening. They had always got on well, and she could even say Jack was much more than an employee. A sense of camaraderie and even friendship had grown between them, and Lou had not expected Jack would react so harshly to her secrecy about her marriage. They had talked and laughed together so much in the time they had known each other, and Lou had often deluded herself to think Jack had forgotten his infatuation. Yet, a single look from him always made her realize that was not the case, and her desire for just a simple, wholesome relationship had crumbled down. Lou had even suggested a few times he give one of the local girls an opportunity, hoping he forgot her once and for all, but Jack had never minded her, and never went with other women. His attitude was peculiar, but Lou had no call to say anything as long as he did his duty in the store, and was a good friend to her. And now resent and bitterness shone in all his self and he sounded as if he really hated her guts.

Lou stared at him, and once again tried to say something. Yet, then the store door tinkled open, announcing their first customer. She would have to find another moment to tackle the situation and talk to Jack. Plastering her best business-like smile on her lips, she stood behind the counter and welcomed the early riser. "Good morning, Mr. Major. What can I do for you this morning?


	32. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Silence dominated the early hours of the evening inside the wide space that encompassed the store. The sounds of life and humanity still lingered outside, and from time to time the peal of the church bells resounded above all other noises.

It was the end of the working day, and Louise was back in her tiny office, counting the day's earnings. After the argument with Jack, nothing had changed, and his sour countenance expressed his latent irritation. Fortunately, it had been a very hectic day, with customers going and coming all the time, so she had been kept busy, and had no time to think much of the situation with her employee. However, she was very aware of Jack's sore feelings as he kept glaring in her direction when she had to ask him something, and the couple of times Kid had shown up, Jack had not tried to hide his discontent either.

"Hey!"

Lou looked up and smiled at her husband, who stood at the door. "What are you doing here? I was just finishing."

Instead of answering her question, Kid asked one of his own. "Are you tired?"

"Not particularly. Why?"

"I thought we could go for a walk. I really want to spend some time alone with you. I missed you today, and I feel like escaping this house and your brother-in-law, who keeps looking at me as if I were a blood-thirsty bandit, ready to kidnap you."

Lou giggled, thankful for having a reason to do so after such an intense day. "He ain't that bad!" Lou exclaimed. "When you get to know him better, you'll really appreciate him. And yes, I'd love to go for a walk with you." Louise placed the takings in an envelope, which she put inside an iron box and locked it. The box then went into one of her desk drawers.

"I'm ready to go," Louise said as she rose to her feet and slid into her jacket.

As Lou and Kid walked the length of the room towards the door, they saw Jack. His eyes darted to Louise and looked daggers at her.

"Glad to be free from work, ain't you?" Kid remarked amicably, addressing the young man.

"Ecstatic," Jack said as he stood by the door. "There are some days that you wish you were somewhere else, and this is one of them," he said sarcastically, glaring at Lou pointedly. "Goodbye," he finally said, dashing out of the store as if he were fleeing from hell.

As soon as Jack had disappeared, Kid turned to his wife. "What's with him? Is he always so intense? He was looking your way as if he wanted to kill you, and I didn't like that. Is he upset that he might lose his job when you leave?"

The couple had already stepped out of the store. Louise was locking the door, her eyes focusing on the key. "No, it ain't that. As a matter of fact, I didn't have the chance to tell him today."

"Then what is it?"

Lou hooked her arm around her husband's as they started walking along the main street. In soft tones Louise told Kid what had happened today and what kind of relationship she and Jack had always had. When she finished, the Southerner said, "I can't say I'm surprised you're a pretty little heartbreaker."

"Kid, please," Lou replied, unhappy about the comment that her husband had meant as a compliment. "This ain't easy for me. Yes, I made a mistake, and I should have been more categorical in my position."

"When you fall for somebody hard, it's difficult to ignore your heart and what it tells you. And involuntarily you always hope for the impossible, or for what you think might be improbable. It happened to me. When we broke up, in the good old days of the Express, I hoped you'd still love me and come back to me even though I hadn't acted right with you. And I also had hopes deep down in these years we were apart."

"And it turned right in the end," Lou remarked.

"Thankfully yes. I was lucky, but it doesn't have to be like this at all. Lou, don't torture yourself, thinking you did something wrong with Jack. He just believed what he wanted to believe, and if he fooled himself with an unreal reality, that's his problem. I think that even if you had told him you were the mother of a litter of children, he would still have hoped something from you.

"I imagine so," Lou muttered.

"And he needs to learn where he stands, and you can't let him disrespect you in any way no matter if he feels upset."

"I know. He's a good fella… I don't think he meant any of that."

Kid looked at her curiously. "I don't need to be jealous about this, do I?"

"Kid!" Louise exclaimed, her forehead creased into an unhappy scowl. "How can you think that?"

"Don't frown, honey. I was just teasing you," Kid said, but deep down a slight pang of jealousy shook him. He knew he had no reason to worry, but the idea that another man was besotted with his wife did not leave him indifferent. "Well, let's forget about the matter, and enjoy this lovely walk on this beautiful evening."

Lou smiled, silently agreeing with her husband. The sun had just a few minutes left to live before it died at the same time as the day. The atmosphere was cool, but not too cold, and there were quite a few people in town. Lou held onto Kid's arm proudly, but also she leaned onto him for protection as she was starting to feel very self-conscious.

All eyes were on them, and Louise could sense the curiosity and even speculation from the onlookers. Since she had a business in town, she knew most local people even though she was not close to anybody. For years everybody had assumed she was a single woman. Lou knew that soon the truth about her real marital status would spread through town like wildfire. Some people would call her a liar, and many would speculate for the reasons why she had concealed her marriage. Lou had never cared much about what other people thought about her, and she felt she did not owe anybody an explanation about her life. Yet, she would hate that in those speculations Kid's good name could be questioned. Louise was sure that some of the neighbors in this town could be cruel and insensitive about other people's private matters, and if they did not know the whole truth about something, they just came up with their own explanations. Lou was sure that would happen when people learned about her husband, which would certainly set tongues wagging, and she would have to endure that as best as possible. Thankfully, in a couple of weeks she and Kid would be gone and on their way to their ranch where they would live their dreams.

"This is very nice, ain't it?" Kid asked, breaking her train of thought.

Lou nodded and smiled. As she looked into his eyes, an idea started to take form. A naughty grin appeared on her face as she said, "I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise? What surprise?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" Lou replied. "Just be a little patient."

Kid did not say anything else, and let her lead the way now. Even though he was itching to know what she was up to, he did not ask her. When she finally steered him to the local stables, he realized what her surprise was. Without uttering a single word, he turned to her and smiled widely, conveying his feeling in a very obvious way.

Lou greeted the stables owner, somebody called Alfred, and then the couple kept walking along the corridor flanked by stalls. As soon as Kid finally saw her, his face lit up.

"There she is," Lou said, pointing at one stall. "Come on, Kid. Go to her."

The Southerner approached the stall warily, not expecting his loyal mare to recognize him after so long. "Katy," he called in a whisper and rested his hands on the stall door. "Katy girl." The mare let out a snort, and her eyes rose to the man calling her. Her muzzle touched Kid's hands tentatively, and somehow she noticed something very familiar, maybe in his touch or his smell. The mare started neighing contentedly, and brushed her muzzle against Kid's hand over and over again.

"I'm home again, and back to you, Katy," he exclaimed, stroking the area between the mare's ears, which he knew she liked.

Lou smiled at the sweet reunion. Now things were finally right. Katy should have been with Kid all along because they belonged together… just like herself and her husband. Little by little what time and her stupid pride had pulled apart was finally returning to its right place.

"Let's go for a ride, Kid. Just like old times," Lou suggested.

Kid turned to look at his wife. "The sun will set soon," he remarked.

"So what?" she exclaimed, giggling. "It wouldn't be the first time, you know. Tonight there'll be a full moon, and I just know the perfect, romantic spot for us to go… a beautiful place… just for you and me… undisturbed."

The Southerner grinned, obviously loving his wife's plans more and more by the minute. "How can I say no to that?"

"Then don't," she added matter-of-factly. "Could you please saddle the horses for me?" she asked while she opened the door of the next stall, where her own horse was. Kid followed her with his eyes as she walked inside, and picked up a leather bag that hung from a nail on the wooden wall. "I have to do something first."

"Do what?"

Lou pulled a brown riding skirt out of the bag and showed him. "I can't ride in these clothes," she said, running her hand over her dainty white blouse and elegant blue skirt she was wearing. "I always keep something here to change into," she added as she came out of the stall. Kissing him slightly on the lips, she whispered, "Won't be a second."

Lou pranced down the corridor to use the small shed where the stables owner allowed her to change her clothes while she called, "Alfred, could you please tell my husband where I keep our saddles?"

Twenty minutes later the couple led the horses out of the stables, and once outside they mounted on them. Kid patted Katy's neck encouragingly, unable to control his obvious high spirits, and smiled at his wife as they steered the horses to the main street. The last weak sunrays had tinted the sky in a myriad of orange and purplish colors, making a breathtaking celestial landscape to admire, and some of those rays fell on Louise. Her hair shone in a reddish shade, and her shades glowed. Kid kept staring at her, drinking from her beauty and his own happiness.

"Shouldn't we let your sister know where we're going?"

"No need," Louise replied. "I sometimes go riding after work, so they know that if I ain't at home by dinnertime, they can start without me."

"All right then."

They continued down the town's main street at a slow pace, talking and laughing together like the newlyweds they still felt. Once they reached the limits of the city, they would set the horses into a gallop, and enjoy outrunning each other like they used to do in the past. Unaware of anything else around them, the couple never suspected that two pairs of eyes were watching them with great interest behind a window on the top floor of one of the buildings.

"Is that him? The husband?" a rough voice asked, tilting his slightly creased face to the sandy-haired young man on the pinto mare.

The other man next to him nodded his head. "Yes, sir."

"Do you realize what this means to us?" the older man asked, and not expecting to receive an answer, he added, "We wouldn't be in this tight spot, if you had done your part."

"I tried!" the young man protested.

"But not enough!" the grey-haired gentleman stated in an authoritative tone. Shaking his head, he added, "Anyway, what's done is done. No use crying over spilled milk. This little husband won't spoil things for us after all, and you know what 'you' have to do."

"Yes, sir."

"We'll have to alter our plans, but time's running out," the older man, added, massaging the junction between his eyes as a mild headache was starting. "Don't fail me, son. I count on you."

"I know."

"And remember, no more hostile outbursts like today's, understood?" The young man nodded, biting his lip, humiliated to be scolded in this way. "I want you to smooth things with Louise McCloud… We can't raise any suspicions. Do anything to gain her trust."

"She already trusts me."

"Then don't let that get ruined because of your stupid irritability! Get on well with her and her husband, and then do your part. That Southern rancher can't be the stone on our road."

"Yes, sir. Don't worry. Everything will go as we planned it. The time has come… finally."


	33. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

Humming a jolly tune, Lou went through the different shelves in her store while jotting down the various items and quantities on a writing pad. Before she left for Fort Kearney, she needed to have the inventory ready for Theresa or whoever would take over the shop.

This morning Louise was feeling in high spirits. Yesterday, despite all her disagreements with Theresa, Albert, and especially Jack, things had ended up in a very happy note. Going riding with Kid had really done her good. It had felt like old times when they raced and tried to beat each other. The result of that did not really matter, because they always had a good laugh, and that was it. When they had finally got tired from all the riding, they had stopped in Lou's special spot, where she often fled to think or even cry when she was feeling in an especially low mood. It was a quite secluded place, next to a stream, which she had found by sheer chance. Last night she and Kid had enjoyed the peace and quite of the place, and had a light dinner of berries they had picked from the many bushes around, and some cheese Lou had found in her saddlebags. As she had previously said, there had been a full moon, whose light reflected in the sparkling waters of the stream, and in this magical haven of peace the couple had ended up making passionate love. When they made it home, it was too late, and the house was silent and dark, but fortunately, there had not been any incidents, like the night before.

Somebody cleared their throat behind Louise, and she turned around to find Jack. The wide, wooden counter separated them, and the morning light coming from the big widows behind him left his face in shadows, which made it impossible for her to read his facial expression.

"Good morning, Louise," Jack said.

"Morning," Lou replied in a flat tone. Yesterday's altercation had taught her a lesson, and she really needed to keep her distance, and try not to mingle work and personal matters. "Jack, could you please see to the customers today? I'd like to finish the inventory and the paperwork."

Lou was about to turn her attention back to the task she had been busy with before Jack came in, and the young man's voice stopped her. "Louise, can we talk?"

Lou did not really want to talk if the conversation was going in the same direction as the day before. Yet, she felt unable to refuse. "All right then."

"I… I want to apologize for my appalling behavior yesterday," Jack started. "I had no right to speak to you like I did. You've always treated me with kindness and respect, not like an employee at all, and I shouldn't have said what I said. I… I was just hurt and angry, and now I'm sorry."

Louise nodded. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my husband, but I had my reasons."

"I… I understand," Jack added. "I hope you can forgive me, please." He stopped, and then added, "I've brought you something as a sign of good faith. My treat this time." Jack placed a big blue tin, wrapped in an exaggerated black ribbon, on the counter, next to the cup of tea Lou had prepared for herself that morning.

Louise recognized the tin that contained the preparation she used for her tea. This one was larger than the one she usually bought from Jack's uncle. "Thanks," Lou said with a smile. "You didn't really have to bring me anything."

"I felt … I feel so bad after what I said yesterday," Jack explained. "I could hardly get any sleep last night." He paused, and looked into Lou's big, brown eyes. "I really don't wish you ill, Louise. Honestly."

"I know. Please don't think about it," Lou replied in a disregarding manner. "We often say many things we don't mean," she added, bringing to mind all the times in the past she and Kid had fought, and remembering everything she had said just to hurt him.

"Thanks. You're a good woman… an excellent woman, and I hope your husband realizes how lucky he is."

At his words Louise cringed inside. She still did not think Kid was lucky for having her in his life. A voice kept murmuring in her mind that Kid would have been much better off if he had not got to know her at all. Yet, Lou had decided lately she would not question what had no answer, and enjoy what life had granted her. "Let's forget about this matter."

Jack nodded. "Thanks for your understanding," he said. "I'll start work now."

"One moment," Lou called. "We need to talk about something else."

"All right. What about?"

"The… the store. In… in a couple of weeks I'm moving to Fort Kearney with Kid."

Jack looked at her with wide, surprised eyes. "You're leaving Seneca?"

Louise nodded. "My husband has a horse ranch in Fort Kearney; he's just starting in the business, but it's there where we want to settle down."

"A ranch?" Jack echoed. "Are you sure you'll like that kind of life?"

Lou smiled. "Believe me, I am," she said with clear determination. "Anyway, what I wanted to talk to you about is the store. I ain't sure if my sister will be ready to run it on her own, but if she decides she doesn't want to, would you be interested in taking over?"

Jack did not speak straightaway. "I wish I didn't have to see you go or make this decision. It's a very generous offer, and if you're sure about this, well, I guess my answer is yes."

Louise smiled. "Nobody could be better than you, Jack. You know everything there is to know about the business. So as soon as Theresa tells me something, I'll let you know."

Jack nodded. "Is there anything else?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Then let me make you another cup of tea," he said. "This one's gone cold."

"Thanks, Jack. You're a dear."

The young man smiled and took the cup and the tin he had brought himself. As he turned around from Louise, and walked to the end of the store, the smile vanished from his lips, and a dead serious expression appeared on his face. As he carefully spooned the herbal mixture into the teapot, he threw a casual look over his shoulder, and watched Louise, who had returned to the job she was doing. His lips stretched into a weird scowl, and his eyes ran up and down her turned body. Shaking his head, he focused his attention back to the teapot.

A few minutes later the caramel-colored brew was boiling, and as Jack poured some into the cup, the smile returned, and with slow steps he walked back to the young woman, carrying the steaming cup in his hands.

* * *

At lunch time Louise usually took a break and dropped by the house while Theresa stayed in the store. As she walked into the living room that afternoon and did not see her husband, she asked, "Albert, have you seen Kid?"

The young man closed the book he had been reading, shifted his crossed legs, and said, "I think he mentioned something about riding."

Louise rolled her eyes amusedly. Where did she expect to find Kid if not with Katy? It was a logical assumption, and Lou could not blame him for doing that. Even though Kid had volunteered to help in the store, Louise had told him that there was nothing she needed his help with. Actually, having him around would be more of a hindrance than a help since he had no idea whatsoever how her business worked. So she had told him, and he had understood. And since he had nothing else to do in Seneca, it did not surprise Lou to hear he was out riding. She was glad he could enjoy the time. However, she was a bit disappointed because she had hoped they could have lunch together.

"Have you had lunch yet?" she asked unenthusiastically.

Albert nodded. "I didn't see you last night," he added.

"Kid and I came back late," she explained. "We went riding, and lost track of time."

Albert nodded again. He kept thoughtful for a second, and then he said, "You know, I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. Theresa and I were way out of line."

Louise smiled, accepting his apologies, and came to sit on the sofa next to him. "I already understand where that came from."

"You do?"

Lou nodded. "I know you're gonna miss me in the same way I'm gonna miss you two."

"Yes…" Albert nodded, lowering his eyes.

"I really have to do this, Al. Kid's my husband, and I love him."

"To be totally honest, I was also surprised about your husband," Albert continued. "I always wondered why a fine woman like you didn't have and want a man in her life."

"I… I know," Lou stammered, ashamed as she thought of her unreasonable behavior for so many years.

"And I really expected the man who'd win your heart one day would be something different… you know, more sophisticated, more intelligent…"

"Kid's very intelligent," Lou corrected him, not happy about the way Albert was classifying and describing her husband. "Running a ranch ain't easy, and you need brains as well as strength to make it work. Kid didn't have much schooling, but he managed to make his way in life without anybody's help, and that just shows what a remarkable person he is."

"I don't doubt that," Albert added. "But a ranch, Louise? A fine lady like you on a ranch? Do you actually see yourself as the little wife of a rancher, and being around smelly horses all the time?"

Lou raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Albert, don't you remember what I told you about the time I worked for the Pony Express?"

"Yes, sure I remember. You worked there many years ago… like the housekeeper of one station or something like that?"

Lou could not help but let out a sonorous peal of laughter. "Albert, do you really listen to me when I talk to you?"

Albert stared at her, not understanding what she was getting to. "Of course I do!"

Lou shook her head. "You know something, Albert? We've known each other for years, and I've been living under the same roof as you, and we know so little of each other," Lou mused thoughtfully.

It was true. Apart from the things she knew from her daily contact with her brother-in-law, she had no idea about much else. As far as she was aware, Albert did not have any close relatives. When he and Theresa got married, his guests were just a bunch of acquaintances from town. His mother was alive at the time, and lived in the east, but since she was quite old and sick, the woman had been unable to travel to her son's wedding. Albert's mother had died a couple of years ago, bequeathing her son some money and a house he had sold. Albert had naturally gone to the funeral and stayed there for a couple of months, sorting out his mother's matters, but Theresa had not been able to travel because at the time of her mother-in-law's decease, the young woman had been sick. Apart from his relations, Lou did not know much about Albert. As a matter of fact, her brother-in-law was a very private kind of person, and did not like to talk about himself. That did not mean he was not talkative; on the contrary, he was quite loquacious, but he usually liked to talk endlessly about the goings-on in town and in his job.

"I think we know what's important," Albert said matter-of-factly to Lou's comment.

"I guess you're right," Louise replied with a smile.

"Theresa made her vegetable soup today," Albert added. "Why don't you go and sit in the dining room while I bring you a plate of my wife's lovely dish?"

Lou smiled, and leaning over, she gave Albert a warm hug. "Thank you!" she said honestly, and rose to her feet. "You're such a nice man, and I'm glad my sister found you."

"I'm the lucky one," Albert replied. Lou kept smiling as she continued to the dining room while the young man headed for the kitchen.


	34. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Deep noises weakly resounded in the haze of his mind, and as the fog of sleep gradually lifted, his senses became more acute. Kid stirred in bed, still half-asleep, and as he finally realized that what his ears perceived was the sounds of somebody throwing up, he quickly sat up.

His eyes darted towards the end of the bedroom, and then he saw Lou bending over the washbowl stand, violently getting sick. The image did not come as a surprise to the Southerner because it was not the first time. A couple of days ago Lou had started feeling poorly and got sick several times a day. Kid had wanted her to go to the doctor, but Lou had refused, arguing that this was just nothing to worry about.

Louise still felt nauseous and continued retching even though her stomach was completely empty. She placed her hand on her belly as she felt cramps and familiar pains. Little by little the nausea faded, and very slowly she straightened up. She got slightly startled as she felt Kid's hands grabbing and holding her softly. After being violently sick, she felt shaken, and her legs were weak, so she was thankful for Kid's strong hands supporting her weak body.

"How are you feeling?"

Feeling unable to speak up, Lou simply nodded, and let him walk her back to bed. She laid down, closed her eyes, and breathed in. Her forehead glistened with cold sweat, and tears escaped from the corner of her eyes after the struggling effort of continuously being sick.

Kid softly caressed her stomach, making circular motions, since he knew that it soothed her. "Lou, why don't we go to the doctor?" he asked, but Louise did not say anything. "Honey, have you thought that the reason you feel unwell is that you might be expecting?"

Lou's eyes instantly shot open, and stared at the ceiling above her. "A baby?" she whispered very softly.

"Haven't you thought about that possibility?"

"Yes," she said in the same soft voice, at the same time praying that what Kid was saying could be true, but somehow she felt that was not the explanation to her queasy stomach.

"It is possible, ain't it, Lou? We haven't been careful at all."

Lou kept thoughtful, trying to remember if she had had her period since she and Kid had gotten back together. She was sure she had it before leaving for Rock Creek, but not in these almost two months. Naturally that did not mean anything because she had never been regular. "Yes, it's possible," she said in a tiny voice.

"Please, Lou. Let's go to the doctor today, and find out."

Louise nodded, and rolled over on the bed so that she could look at Kid, who was lying next to her. "How would you feel if we indeed were to have a baby?"

"How do you think I can feel? Having a baby with you can only make me happier if that's possible." Lou remained serious, and the Southerner grew concerned. "Wouldn't you feel the same, honey?"

"Of course I would!" Lou promptly replied. "I'd love nothing better than having your child!"

"Then what's that face for?"

"I was just remembering something," Lou muttered.

"Remembering what?"

Lou sighed, and snuggling closer to him, she wrapped her arms around his bare trunk. "When… when I got word that you… you were dead, I cursed everything and everybody under the sun. I was going crazy with pain, and I felt so utterly lonely. I had nothing… nothing from you, and I cried for you and… and … and for the baby we never had. That is what I wished I had… a child with your blue eyes, your sandy hair, and your good heart." As she talked, she caressed his face, ran her fingers though his tousled curls, and finally rested her hand on his chest. "A child to feel some part of you was still here with me. That would've been the only thing that would have brought me some peace… a little peace, but I had nothing… nothing."

"Lou, I'm so sorry."

Louise shook her head. "Don't be," she added. "Looking back, I now know it wasn't meant to be, and I'm glad there wasn't a child of ours back then. I wasn't in my best condition to be a mother. My sadness tinted everything, and it wouldn't have been good for a baby… I wouldn't have been good."

"Let's not think about that, Lou," Kid said, brushing his hands up and down her back. "All those ugly memories led us where we're today. That's the way we have to think about them, and you're gonna be a terrific ma."

"Do you think so?" Louise asked hesitatingly. She needed his reassurance because now she was not feeling too confident, and those panicky sensations kept invading her mind from time to time, making her doubt everything.

Kid shook his head. "I'm sure of it."

Lou smiled. "Life's given us a second chance, and I ain't gonna let it go," Lou stated firmly. Her words were rather aimed to convince herself. However, doubts and that annoying voice continued nagging her, threatening her peace of mind, and all she wanted was to silence it forever, or at least muffle it. She stared into Kid's eyes, and added, "Everything's gonna be fine."

* * *

Sitting on a lone chair in the empty, small hall, Kid kept spinning his hat in his hands. Lou was inside the doctor's office while he waited nervously. Dr. Hill had welcomed them with a smile. The physician seemed to be quite amiable, and looked like most of the doctors Kid had come across in his life: middle-aged, spectacled, pale-skinned, white-haired, and a moody expression on his countenance, which did not alter even when he was smiling.

Kid had explained to the doctor why they wanted to see him, and what their hopes were. Dr. Hill asked Lou a few questions, and then kindly told Kid to step outside and wait while he examined her.

The creaking sound of the door had Kid jumping to his feet all of a sudden. "Mr. McCloud," Dr. Hill said as he appeared at the threshold separating his office and the waiting area. "You can come in now."

The Southerner walked into the office after the physician. Lou was sitting before the doctor's wide, mahogany desk, and Kid approached. Louise reached out for his hand, which she squeezed. Kid felt her hands were cold and clammy, and still on his feet he looked down at her, trying to read the expression on her face.

"Please, sit down, Mr. McCloud," Dr. Hill kindly added, as he sank down in the elegant, leather armchair behind his desk. When Kid was finally seated, the doctor started, "I'm afraid your expectations for a baby weren't right. Mrs. McCloud isn't in the family way."

Kid's eyes immediately darted to his wife, and noticed the disappointment in her. "Don't worry, honey," he said, pressing her hand affectionately. "This doesn't mean anything. We have plenty of time ahead of us."

"I… I know," Lou muttered, but something in his words made her whole body shudder, and an undefined pressure in her chest threatened to stifle her.

Kid turned his attention back to the doctor. "Then why has my wife been feeling poorly lately?

Dr. Hill removed his spectacles, massaged the area between his eyes, and then glanced at Lou. "We've already discussed this before Louise. The ulcer you suffered years ago can bother you from time to time. It often happens when you go through an especially emotional period, which doesn't mean it has to be something negative." Dr. Hill paused, and added, "I don't intend to pry, but have you been experiencing emotions lately?"

Louise glimpsed at Kid through the corner of her eye before she nodded. "My stomach has bothered me before, but I haven't felt as nauseous as now."

Dr. Hill raised his eyebrows in a resigned expression. "Our bodies don't react in the same way every time."

"But she'll feel better soon, won't she?" Kid asked urgently as worry was more than obvious on his face.

"Naturally," Dr. Hill replied, totally convinced, and his eyes turned to Lou again. "You already know what you have to do. Watch out what you eat. Try having just soft foods, anything that's easy to digest, and drink lots of liquid, especially that digestive tisane you normally drink."

Lou nodded, already familiar with the procedures, but not too happy about it. Kid rose to thank the doctor, and shook hands with him. Dr. Hill smiled as he walked the couple to the door and bid them goodbye.

The door closed behind them, and Dr. Hill walked back into his office. At the end of the room there was another door, and he marched decidedly towards it, and knocked his knuckles on its surface. "You can come in now; the coast is clear."

Dr. Hill did not wait for whoever he had talked to, and returned to his seat at his desk. As the door creaked open, he lifted his eyes to the young man who approached. "Is it true? Is she pregnant?"

Dr. Hill shrugged his shoulders. "Hard to tell yet. Some people aren't patient enough, but thankfully, if she is pregnant or not, it doesn't matter, does it?" The doctor noticed the strange expression on the young man's face, and grew curious. "Why are you looking so upset all of a sudden?"

"I'm not sure about this, sir. It's … it's too risky. It hasn't been so long since Jeremiah's death."

"Man, you sometimes drive me up the wall!" Dr. Hill snarled, banging his fist on the desk, which sent a layer of dust to the air. "What happened to Jeremiah and this are two totally different things. What's your idea? Wait until she gets pregnant for sure… or maybe until the baby gets christened? You know that would be too bad for us."

"Yes, I know, but I fear the sheriff might suspect something. It'd be strange that two young, healthy people from the same family die so suddenly, and so close in time."

"You know we have to do this… we're running out of time!" Dr. Hill continued. "If you have so many reservations about precious Louise McCloud, you should have tried harder to seduce her as I told you, and then this wouldn't be happening."

"She's already married… and she's been all this time."

"That doesn't really matter. A husband can easily be disposed of. There's something called divorce. But of course, you had to go and play with her sister! Albert, this is taking longer than I counted on because of you!"

The young man's face was red with a mixture of indignation and shame. "Don't blame me! All I'm saying is that we've got to be careful!"

"There's no danger, Albert. You have nothing to be afraid of. I'm the only physician here, because you can't really count the old wheezer the army has. Louise has a history of stomach problems. Nobody in this town of ignorants would doubt my word. Her ulcer could easily turn into a more serious condition, for example, a deadly tumor."

"I guess you're right."

"I am, Albert, you know I am," Dr. Hill stated. "Just make sure you follow my instructions, and add the right quantity every day, not too much, as I told you. Her deterioration has to be subtle and gradual."

"Yes, I know."

"Everything's gonna be all right, son. Even if there's slight suspicion and they find that tisane has been tampered with, the most logical suspect would be Jack or that uncle of his. I very much doubt that'll happen, but if that's the case, we'll worry about building good evidence against them."

Albert nodded. He did not know why he was so pessimistic today, but he knew that having that Southern rancher nosing around his house all day long made him nervous since he could not act so freely now. "You're absolutely right. I'm sorry for being so negative."

"Just relax, Albert. The day Louise McCloud knocked on your door was our big stroke of luck! We've worked too hard to reach here, and we're almost done. Let's not spoil things."

"And soon we'll be clicking glasses brimmed with champagne to celebrate our success!" Albert exclaimed with a grin. Dr. Hill also smiled. Albert sent a look at the clock on the wall, and noticed the time. "I have to go now. Theresa must be wondering where I am."

"Remember, use the back door, and make sure nobody sees you."

Albert nodded with slow motions. He was tired of hearing the same recommendations whenever he came here, but he never protested. He could not protest. "All right," he muttered as he walked back to the door, and before he walked out, he turned his head and simply said, "See you soon, Father."


	35. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Kid pushed the door open, and stepped inside as the bell announcing a newcomer resounded above his head. There were a few men inside the store, and they greeted the Southerner politely. In just the week he had been in Seneca, the locals already knew who he was, since almost everybody knew Lou. Kid just tilted his head in response to the greeting, and kept a serious face as his eyes scanned the place, trying to locate his wife. Jack was behind the counter, transferring a sack from his shoulders onto the big scales, and after checking its weight, he exchanged a few words with the customer he was assisting.

As Kid did not see Lou, he rounded the counter, and decidedly walked to the small office she sometimes worked in, but he found it empty. Worry settled in his heart as he retraced his steps to the store. Lately he was very distressed since three days after their visit to the doctor, Lou still did not feel any better, and he was beside himself with sheer worry. The Southerner had never seen Lou sick before; he remembered she had a slight cold once, which had not kept her from her responsibilities around the station, and the few times she had been shot, she had been back on her feet in no time. Lou was always so full of energy, and it was so unlike her to feel this poorly for so many days.

Jack was still talking to the same customer, but Kid could not wait, and had to break in. "Excuse me," he said, tilting his head to the two men in a silent apology. "Where's my wife, Jack?"

"She wasn't feeling well, and said she'd lie down for a while."

"Thanks," Kid muttered. If Lou had voluntarily decided to leave work suddenly and rest, that meant she was feeling quite sick. Kid dashed to the staircase, taking two steps at a time.

As the Southerner approached the bedroom he and Lou shared, he could hear weak sounds as if somebody was crying. He hurried his steps, and when he walked into the room, he saw Louise curled into ball lying in bed, and sobbing uncontrollably. Theresa was standing at the foot of the bed, holding a steaming cup in her hands, and trying to talk to Lou, but her voice got drowned among her sister's loud wails.

Kid marched into the bedroom, and sat on the edge of the bed. "Lou…" he whispered, gently stroking her side up and down.

Louise lifted her red, watery eyes to her husband. "Where were you?"

"You asked me to go to the church and take the boxes with all the stuff you won't take with you to Fort Kearney," Kid explained, softly caressing her tear-streaked face. "Remember?"

Lou nodded slowly, but almost at the same time she let out a loud yelp, and gasping sobs racked her body again. Her arms reached for Kid, bringing him down against her, and hugging him desperately. "Oh my God, it hurts so much!"

Kid shifted his body, and carefully maneuvered her so that she was cocooned in his lap comfortably. His arms wrapped around her petite body, and his hand stroked her short hair over and over again. "I know, honey."

"I can't stand the pain, Kid!" she sobbed. "I can't! I can't! It's never been like this before!"

Kid sighed in sheer frustration. It broke him to see Lou like this, and he could not do a thing to help her. "Have you been sick as well today?" Kid felt Lou's head nod against his chest as she continued weeping.

"Louise, honey, why don't you take your tea? It always makes you feel better," Theresa said.

"I don't want anything! Nothing makes me feel better! Nothing!" Louise cried loudly, shaking her head at the same time.

Kid slightly pulled away, and putting his index finger under her chin, he lilted her head to him. "Lou, you heard the doctor. You need to drink as often as possible, and you have to eat some too. Please, honey, don't be so stubborn in this."

Louise nodded reluctantly. Kid beckoned Theresa to hand him the cup, and then he helped Lou to drink the strong-smelling tea from Jack's uncle. She took small sips at a time, and when she finished, she was calmer. "Are you feeling better?" Kid asked.

"I guess," Louise replied weakly, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"Why don't you take a nap now?" Kid suggested.

Louise nodded, and lay back down on the bed. Kid covered her body with a blanket, and stooped to kiss her forehead softly. Louise closed her eyes, and Kid stood there for a bit, watching her. Noticing the way her arm sneaked under the blanket and her body curled, Kid knew she was still racked by pain, but she was just trying to be brave, and stifle her moans.

Kid walked out of the bedroom, followed by Theresa. As he closed the door, he kept thoughtful, still holding the knob in his hand. Theresa's voice snapped him out of his pensive manner, and brought him back to earth. "Kid?"

"This ain't right, Tessie."

"What do you mean?"

"Lou ain't feeling any better, and I'm worried," Kid said. "I'm gonna bring Dr. Hill here now."

"Yes, the doctor needs to see her again," Theresa agreed. "Lou's never been this sick before, and you know my sister never complains for just the sake of it."

"Yes, that's what worries me," Kid muttered.

Theresa tapped his shoulders, and smiled wryly. She could not say anything to comfort Kid because she was also concerned about Lou's health. From time to time Lou had complained about her stomach because of her past problems, but this was nothing like her usual ailments. Theresa just hoped that she could get better soon, because it was so hard to see her vibrant, full-of-life sister almost turned into nothing.

* * *

Making a supernatural effort to control his worry, Kid stood in stoic silence in the bedroom, watching Dr. Hill examine his wife. The physician kept pressing his hand on Lou's abdomen, and every time she let out an agonizing cry, which broke Kid's heart. The doctor also checked her eyes, examined her mouth, and placed his ear against some kind of trumpet-shaped object to hear her heartbeat.

"Louise, I'm gonna give you some laudanum to soothe your pain," Dr. Hill said. "It might make you drowsy, but you also need your rest now."

Louise nodded, and her motions were stiff and uncoordinated like an automaton's since she felt so weak and sore she was not even aware of her own body moving. Her face cringed in disgust as her tongue tasted the bitterness of the water Dr. Hill helped her drink, but soon her senses were wrapped in a strange sensation of peace, and her eyes closed, quickly drifting to sleep.

Dr. Hill motioned Kid and Theresa to step out of the room, and as soon as the door closed behind him, the Southerner could not hold back any longer. "What's wrong with my wife, Doctor?"

"Not here," Dr. Hill said in a very serious voice, and led the way down the corridor and the staircase. The physician left his bag on one of the chairs in the living room while his fingers massaged the area between his eyes.

"Would you like some tea or something to drink, Doctor?" Theresa asked politely.

"Tea? … uh… no thanks. I'm fine."

Kid was pushing his patience beyond its limits, and this was more than he could stand. "Could you please tell me what is happening to my wife?"

Dr. Hill sighed dramatically. "I'm afraid I have bad news."

At his words Kid blanched, and his whole body shuddered. "Wh… what?" he croaked, and glancing at Theresa, he realized she was as white as a sheet too.

"I really thought she was having an outbreak of her ulcer, but this isn't it," Dr. Hill elaborated. "Naturally, there are several possibilities to explain why Louise is in this condition, but everything points at something quite serious… I'd have to do further examinations, but I'm pretty sure it's… it's… It's cancer."

Theresa let out a gasp, and her hands flew to her mouth in total shock. "Cancer?" Kid repeated, confused by what he was hearing. "But.. But that's… that's incurable."

"Yes, it is," Dr. Hill whispered.

"Are you saying my wife's gonna die?" Kid exclaimed loudly with wide eyes. The physician remained silent, and Theresa started to cry softly. Kid shook his head several times, seething with disbelief. "You're wrong! Lou can't die… she can't die!"

"I know it's hard to accept, and…"

"You know nothing!" Kid roared.

"Kid, please," Theresa tried to calm her brother-in-law. She was also upset, but it was not right that Kid seemed ready to hit the doctor for just being the bearer of the worst news.

"Theresa, it's impossible! Your sister was fine a few days ago! How can she swerve from being a perfectly healthy woman into one on the verge of death! That doesn't make sense! I can't believe that!" Kid ranted, feeling his own eyes moist at the mere idea this nightmare might be true.

"Son," Dr. Hill said, resting a comforting hand on Kid's back. "Sometimes we don't understand why these things happen. Nature and the human body still hide too many secrets we men haven't unburied yet. Louise's ulcer might have been just a symptom of what her body had actually developed and kept hidden until now."

Kid paled even more as the doctor's words almost implied that it was his fault Lou was in this condition. He knew that Lou's ulcer had started around the time he had been thought dead, because the strenuous time she had to go through had caused a physical reaction in his body. In a way, her stomach problems were his doing, so this meant that whatever was happening to Lou was his fault too.

"You said there are other possibilities," Kid stated, trying to grasp any possible hope on the bleak horizon because he could not believe that tremendous, horrible reality Dr. Hill was describing.

"Yeah… but I wouldn't raise my hopes too high. Expect the worse, Mr. McCloud… you already saw how bad your wife's doing."

"You're wrong! You're wrong!" Kid exclaimed in a broken voice. The place seemed to spin around him, and the air felt stiffly and suffocating. He could hardly breathe, and needed some different air before he fell right here. So tuning on his heel, he dashed out of the room, slamming the door behind him as if he could lock and bury what he had heard inside forever. An intense longing to see Lou coursed through every inch of his skin. He needed to see her, touch her, feel her, and without stopping for one second, he blindly ran up the stairs.

"Forgive my brother-in-law, Dr. Hill," Theresa said as she found herself alone with the physician.

The doctor shook his head. "There's no need to apologize. His reaction is understandable."

Theresa paused, and let out a sigh. "Are you positive my sister's that sick?" Theresa asked as fresh tears dampened her eyes.

"I'm afraid so."

"What can we do to help her?"

"I'll leave some laudanum to relieve her pains," Dr. Hill explained. "And keep feeding her on the same diet as she's been doing lately, soft foods and lots of liquid, water, juice, tea…" He emphasized the last word almost too eagerly, but Theresa did not seem to notice the extra stress there. The young woman nodded, and the doctor added, "And please call me whenever you need me no matter if it's day or night. I'll be back tomorrow morning anyway. I'm really sorry about what is happening to your sister."

"Thank you, Dr. Hill," Theresa said, shaking hands with the man. "You're a good doctor. This town is certainly in good hands, and we're lucky to have you."

"And I'm glad to be any help to your family. You can't imagine how glad," he whispered the last part, but Theresa did not hear him. A dark smile lit up his features as he realized that soon enough all their obstacles would be out of their way, and he and Albert could finally take the reins and do what they had desired so much for too long.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 35**

With soft strokes Theresa brushed her long, blonde hair before the mirror of her dresser. As her eyes checked her image, she shifted in her seat uncomfortably as she noticed the sadness oozing from her every feature. The reason for her dark mood struck her painfully again, and she burst out crying for the umpteenth time today. The brush fell from her hand onto the floor as her head dropped heavily onto the wooden surface of the dresser.

Albert watched his wife curiously. Clad in his impeccable nightshirt, he walked closer to her, picked up the brush, and left it on the dresser again. His hand came to rest on his wife's shoulder, and he massaged it with his fingers. "Please, honey, don't cry."

Theresa lifted her puffy eyes to him. "How can I not? My sister's dying, Albert!"

"I know how you feel, but…"

"No, you don't!" Theresa contradicted his words, cutting him off. "Louise is more than a sister to me. I don't have a single recollection of my own mother, and Lou's been like a ma to me all these years. She's been so much more than a sister… my mother, my companion, my confidante, my best friend."

"I'm really sorry because I'm fond of her," Albert added. "I also lost my mother, honey, but that's life."

"It ain't fair!" Theresa bawled. "Now that she could be happy again… now that she and Kid are back together! Why is life so cruel? She's so young…she's the only family I have."

Albert caressed her shoulders softly. "I'm here, Theresa, and I'm your family too. You ain't alone, and one day we'll have beautiful children." The young woman nodded, and was completely thrown when Albert kissed her fully on the mouth. His lips parted, and his tongue asked for further access, which she instantly granted.

When Albert pulled away, Theresa let out a gasp. She was not used to this kind of spontaneous loving displays from her husband. Albert was very methodical in everything, even in the intimate part of their marriage. He liked his ways, and did not like to explore or try new things, and even for a simple kiss he also had his rules.

His passionate kiss was not the only surprise for Theresa today. Albert took her hand, and gently pulled her up to her feet. "Let's try starting our own family today," he said huskily as he steered her to the bed.

Despite everything, Theresa smiled. Albert turned around to her, and started undoing the tiny buttons on the front of her white nightgown. "What's happening to my husband tonight? Who's this bold gentleman I have before me?"

Albert pressed his lips against her neck, and nibbled the soft skin just below her right ear. "I just love you, baby," he muttered.

Theresa sighed in pleasure, but a slight hint of sadness also tinted her exhalation. Albert looked up, and noticing the question in his eyes, Theresa said, "I'm so sorry for Kid. I can hardly imagine what he's going through."

Albert snuck his hand under the delicate fabric of her nightgown, and softly caressed her skin through her camisole. "Theresa, they've been together for how long? Not even a couple of months. I'm sure he must be understandably sad, but your sister can't mean that much to him."

"How can you say that?" Theresa exclaimed, upset by what she was hearing, and she swatted his hand away. "My sister's been his wife for ten years... and even though they haven't been together for so long, they've been in love all this time."

"I don't doubt that, honey. But he's young. I wouldn't worry about him. He'll find another woman soon enough."

Theresa's face flushed, and her indignation soared as she heard her husband. "Stop talking about her as if she were already dead! Don't you have a heart, Albert Keller?"

"Oh come on, Theresa," Albert said tiredly as the young woman turned way from him, and got ready for bed. "You know I do love Louise like a sister. I didn't mean anything bad by that. I'm sorry."

Theresa was already in bed, and his words did not manage to soothe her. "Good night, Albert."

"Please, honey, how can you think I don't feel sorry about what's happening? You misunderstood me."

"Probably, but today's been a horrible day. I'm not in the mood for anything. All I can think is about my poor sister. Please just let me be."

Albert nodded, and kept watching his wife. Theresa pulled up the quilt, and even covered her head. Her trembling figure under the bed told the young man she was crying, but he did not move. Shaking his head, he cursed his clumsiness. He should control his tongue more or he could end up messing everything up.

This matter was making him too nervous. With Jeremiah it had been different because his father had done practically everything. He had planned the whole thing, and had even plunged the knife into the young man's body repeatedly. Now with Louise, Albert was too jittery because he was responsible of the whole plan, and was killing his sister-in-law little by little. The notion was more than his nerves and sanity could endure.

What he had told Theresa was true. He was very fond of Louise, and it did not make him proud to pull this stunt against her. Of course that cannot be prevented. Louise was just a minor casualty in this particular war of his and his father's. Everybody knew people had to die in wars because that was the way men and conflicts worked. Likewise, his also had casualties. Albert was sorry it had to be Louise, but right now there was no time for regrets. When everything was over, he would make it up to Theresa. He could already envision a beautiful future ahead of them. Theresa was going to have the nice life she deserved, and nothing else mattered.

* * *

_A few days later_

The curtains were drawn, leaving the room in semi-darkness. The door opened slowly, and Kid slowly craned his head inside. His sad eyes directed to the bed where Lou was sleeping. This morning she looked quite peaceful, which was an uncommon occurrence lately. Louise had not moved from bed in days, and had been tortured by terrible pains. The only thing that gave her some relief was the laudanum Dr. Hill had left them, but that meant she spent most of the day sleeping.

Trying to be as quiet as a church mouse, Kid walked into the room, and approached the bed. As he stood above Lou's lying figure, she suddenly opened her eyes. "Hey! You're awake!" he exclaimed with a smile, making a herculean effort to sound contented, when all he wanted was to throw his arms around her, and cry like a small child. "How are you feeling today, sweetheart?"

Louise stretched her lips in a bitter gesture. Her dejected eyes stared at Kid tiredly as she said in a weak voice, "I'd like to sit up. Can you help me?"

Without a word Kid gently eased her body up, placed the pillows behind her back, and let her rest on them. Lou shifted as she tried to adopt the least uncomfortable position. Kid kept studying her face, which in just a few days had thinned and lost its glow, looking sallow and sickly. Black rings under her eyes stood out against her pale countenance, and some strange blemishes had appeared on the area around her mouth. Then Kid noticed her face wince. "Lou?"

"My legs… feel crampy," she said in a very small voice.

"Let me help you with that," he promptly said. He pulled down the covers, and lifted the edge of her nightgown up to the level of her thighs. On the bedside table there was a bottle of the ointment he normally used. Kid poured a glob into his hands, and started rubbing Lou's legs up and down.

Lou looked at her husband in awe, moved by his devotion and obvious love. Kid never complained, and he seemed to endure the situation they were in much better than her. "I'm sorry I keep bothering you."

"Lou, you don't bother me," Kid said, lifting his eyes to her without stopping his massaging motions. "It's my job to look after you, and I'd do anything to make you feel better."

Lou closed her eyes while Kid kept rubbing her skin. His touch worked magic, and relieved the tension and craps in her legs. His hands were so soothing, and brought her so much sought-for peace in one moment. Lou pursed her lips wryly. When had things changed this much? The contact of his hands on her skin used to burn her with pure passion and lust, and these same rubbing motions would have driven her crazy by now. However, carnal desire was as far from her mind as possible; all she wanted from Kid was the relief he could offer her. How sad was that? And how long had she been bedridden? She could not remember; she had the impression it was just yesterday they had arrived in Seneca, but she also felt she had been confined in this bed for weeks, even months. Was this the life that Kid was left to? Condemned to care for a sick wife?

"Kid?" she called softly.

"Yes, honey?" he said as he wiped his hands on a towel after he finished rubbing her legs.

"Talk to me, please. This silence's killing me. Tell me about something… anything."

Kid kept quiet as he pulled down the edge of her nightgown, and covered her with the quilt again. Sitting on the bed, he reached out for her hand and caressed its palm with his thumb. "This morning I dropped by the stables," Kid started in a soft voice. "I thought I could go for a short ride before… before you woke up. When I was there, I decided to take Lightning because I realized she hadn't been exercised since the day we went riding together. Did you know I'd never ridden your horse before?" Lou shook her head sadly. "I always thought she was a bit like you, Lou… beautiful, strong, mysterious, amazing… she's a good animal, and today as I rode, I could tell she misses you."

Kid paused, and stole a glance at his wife. Her liquid eyes shone, and her forced smile silently begged him to continue. Kid cleared his throat, and as he spoke up again, his voice was hungry and quivering. "I… told her you'd soon get better, and then we'd all head home where she could enjoy the empty spaces, the freedom, the peacefulness, and you'd ride her every day the way we used to do in the old days. She seemed to like the sound of it… she even let out an approving neigh. She loves you, Lou… we all love you, and … and…"

Kid's coarse voice broke as immense pain and overwhelming emotion took over him, and his intentions to be strong for her crashed as the tears sprang to his eyes. Kid buried his head in her lap, and Lou softly caressed his hair as she heard him cry. A lone tear rolled down her cheek, which she wiped furiously as if she was swatting an unwanted fly away. "You're such a good man, Kid," she whispered, running her fingers through his sandy hair.

Kid gradually calmed down, and lifted his head. Wiping his tears with the back of his sleeve, he said, "I… I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry." He even tried to laugh, but all he managed was to give her a strange, bitter smile.

Lou gazed at him, fully aware that he was trying to be strong for her but she knew… she knew too well. After a few minutes, she suddenly said, "I was thinking about Cody."

"Cody?" Kid echoed, surprised. "What about him, honey?"

"You know, he would've won his stupid bet after all," she muttered. "We ain't gonna last longer than three months because… because I'm gonna die."

"Lou, please don't say that!"

"I'm going, Kid," she whispered, and despite the effort it took, she lifted her hand to caress his face. "I'm going, and this time it's forever, my love."

"No! You're gonna be fine… you're gonna get better."

"Kid, honey, you know the truth. Please let's not pretend around each other now… this is my end, and I need you to be as honest as always." Lou stopped, and noticed his eyes moist, and she could not choke her own tears anymore. She burst into sobs, and brought her hand to her face. "Oh God!" she wailed. "Oh Kid, I'm so sorry! All these years we wasted because of me and my pride! And now we're running out of time … and I need more time with you… with my husband."

"Please, Lou, calm down!" Kid tried to soothe his wife as he drew her into a hug.

"I don't want to leave you, Kid! I don't want to leave you! I know I deserve this punishment, but what about you? What about you?"

Kid did not know what to say, or how to comfort Lou. He simply kept quiet as his own tears flooded his eyes while Lou sobbed against his chest. This was not fair. They deserved a chance… just one chance. What curse had fallen upon them that kept pulling them apart? All the elements seemed to have aligned themselves against them, and this was just the last, most horrible attack. Lou deserved to live a long life so that he could show her what happiness meant for real. They had so many dreams and plans… and everything crumbled down now because the reason of his existence, the centre of his life was going away. Everything would be senseless without Lou. This should not be happening, and Kid still resisted believing that his light in his darkness was burning out. He wished there was something he could do to hold onto her and keep her by his side if it was possible, he would fight a dozen wars, endure pain, loneliness, humiliation… whatever it took it if that meant Lou could be saved. The sad reality was that nothing would make a difference. His eyes looked down at the woman in his arms… she looked so small, so weak, so different from the woman she was really like, and he cursed himself, he cursed life, and he cursed the very air he was breathing.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 36**

Days vanished torturously fast, and no light could be spotted at the end of the tunnel. Lou's condition did not improve, but rather the opposite; her health weakened with each passing day. She was totally spent, had lost too much weight in just these weeks, and on the last few days she remained asleep almost all the time, or maybe unconscious. Kid was not really sure. The only sounds that came out of her mouth were moans and grunts, especially when he carefully fed her some soup, tea, or anything she could eat.

With automatic motions Kid rearranged the covers around his wife's body. Dr. Hill had just been here to see her, and like every day after examining her, he shook his head with a grim expression. He never had good news, and all he said was that her time was close. Kid had started to dread his visits, and when the physician came around, the Southerner could not wait for him to leave. Dr. Hill's condemnatory words and countenance thwarted Kid's hopes that Lou would get better. This could not be her end, and he still dreamed that she would soon leave that bed and they could continue with their life, their plans, and their love.

Kid smoothed the edge of the quilt over her arms, and gazed at her face. She looked so pale and still that sudden fear gripped his heart. Right away he lowered his face to hers, and as he felt her weak puffs of air on his skin, relief washed over him. His hand ran through his hair frantically. This was sheer torture. He lived on her every intake of air; his sanity depended on them. His mind could not accept that his Lou was waning to nothing; he knew he would go crazy if she stopped existing. In his personal world that was unthinkable, impossible, unacceptable. Lou could not leave him like this when they were happiest. If living without for the last ten years had been hell on earth, the idea of losing her forever was so huge he could not even consider thinking about it.

Kid kept looking at her unchanged face, and unable to hold back, he cupped her left cheek with his hand and placed a kiss on her unresponding lips. "Oh Lou, did I do this to you?" he exclaimed, mortified by the notion he had been the indirect cause of her condition.

Lou had confessed that his disappearance during the war had been the factor that had triggered her stomach ulcer. Fearful, Kid had asked Dr. Hill whether Lou's present state could stem from her past problems. The physician had confirmed his fears, stating that it was a high probability. The idea was killing Kid; Lou's terrible condition was his doing, his fault. Oh how he wished he could go back in time. If he could live everything again, he would never have left her to fight that damn war, which had caused them so much heartache. Or maybe it would have been better if he had stayed away from her or from the Pony Express. Lou would have been much better off if she had never met him. Now it was too late to right wrongs, and Lou's life was at stake because of him.

Kid wiped his most eyes with his hands. Pressing his lips against her forehead, he whispered words of love, and his desire for her fully recovery. Lou remained still and with her eyes closed. Kid felt an intense yearning to see her big, beautiful eyes come to life again, but his wishes were not enough to work the miracle. Today presented itself like all the previous days: too long and lonely without her vibrant presence.

Feeling restless and frustrated, Kid paced back and forth in the bedroom as thousands of negative thoughts bombarded his already crowded mind. After a few minutes, he stopped and leaned against the window frame. Throwing a casual look outside, he could see people coming and going, carefree, smiling, gay faces which contrasted with more contrite ones. Not long ago he and Lou had been strolling leisurely along the same street, without any problems in sight, and looking forward to the future. How could things change so fast? This shouldn't be happening. Why? Oh God, why?

Shaking his head, Kid shifted his eyes from the bustling street and casually dropped his gaze on the peaked gable above the front door below his window. It was then he noticed Albert standing there. The briefcase in his hand showed he was about to leave for work. That, naturally, did not surprise Kid, but what attracted his curiosity was the way the man gesticulated while he talked. Kid angled his body, trying to see who Albert was speaking to, and he managed to get a glimpse of a thin hat brim, and a leather bag. It was Dr. Hill, who had not left yet. Albert naturally wanted to know about Lou too. She was his sister-in-law, and he would be worried. Yet, there was something about Albert that unsettled Kid. It was the smile on Albert's face which did not match in the picture. What on earth was he talking about that made him smile? Apart from asking about Lou's condition, what on earth could he want from Dr. Hill? Having lived in Seneca for a long time, Albert was surely on friendly terms with many of the neighbors, including the physician, but how could he make small talk or joke with the doctor when they were living such a terrible reality?

"That ain't fair," Kid silently scolded himself. Not everybody could feel as strongly and intensely as he did. Life went on for the others even though his had stopped when Lou had taken sick. Why couldn't Albert share a few light words and smiles with Dr. Hill? That was not a crime. Maybe that was his particular way to cope with the sadness that lately dominated his home. Why not? Kid felt he had no right to judge anybody or how people dealt with their own pain.

A soft moan coming from the other end of the room interrupted his musing, and as he turned his gaze from the window, his heart skipped a beat when he realized Lou was awake. Her eyes were opened just a slit, and then her mouth moved soundlessly, trying to call his name.

"Lou, I'm here," he exclaimed, crossing to her side in just a few strides. Stooping before her, he took her hand in his, and repeated, "I'm here."

"K…Kid," she whispered so low that her voice was barely audible.

"I'm here, my love," he replied, squeezing her hand. "Do you need something?" Louise made an attempt to nod her head, but she was unable to move it at all. Kid understood she was assenting, and asked again, "What do you need? Please tell me."

"I…" Lou tried, her breathing quickening at the effort that meant uttering a single word. She swallowed painfully, and had another go in the same weak voice. "I… I need… to go… home."

"Home?" Kid echoed, totally confused by her request.

Lou closed and opened her eyes slowly. "Home," she repeated faintly. "Please… take me… home."

Kid stared at her with a stunned expression. Home, he repeated mentally. She wanted to go home, and the Southerner knew she did not mean the ranch, the place they had decided to settle down and live their dreams in. No, Lou was not talking about the ranch. She meant Rock Creek, and her next weak words confirmed his suspicions.

"I need to… say goodbye," she murmured, and feeling his reluctance, she added, "Please."

Her eyes closed as she drifted back to sleep. Kid remained on his feet, gazing at her. Take her to Rock Creek, he mouthed slowly. Lou had opened her eyes and talked to him for the first time in days. Going home was important to her… vital indeed. Rock Creek was not close, and travelling with a very sick Lou sounded crazy. Yet, that was what she wanted, what she needed… How could he then refuse her request?

His hand brushed against her cheek and ran through her hair. She remained as still as she had been for the last days. Kid bent over, and placed a kiss on her forehead as he whispered. "Don't worry, honey. We'll go home. We're definitely going home."

* * *

Even though Kid hated to leave Lou's side during the day, he did not have another option today. Without explaining himself much, he had asked Theresa to keep an eye on his wife while he went on some errands. The young woman had naturally agreed, and despite her silent curiosity, Kid had kept quiet. Now he could not deal with Theresa and her reaction to his decision. He would tell her about his intentions later. Theresa would probably hit the roof, and oppose his plan to take Lou to Rock Creek, but nothing she could say would make him change his mind. This was what his wife wanted, and he would make sure she got to Rock Creek even if he had to carry her in his arms all the way there.

It took Kid a few hours to arrange everything. First, he headed for the telegraph office, and sent several telegrams; one to those in Rock Creek, explaining that Lou was very sick, and they would leave Seneca tomorrow morning. The other telegrams were addressed to Cody, Buck, and Ari, requesting them to go to Rock Creek and the reason why. As he finished, a strange sensation overcame him. This felt so wrong. Summoning their friends in this way was too unsettling, and a horrible idea crept into his mind. Was this a call for her funeral? No, that was not it. He needed to hold onto his weak hope. Yet, the idea was already in his mind, and sent a terrifying shiver throughout all his body. As he stumbled out of the telegraph office, he could hardly breathe. Dizzy and overwhelmingly shocked, Kid staggered into an alley and bumped against a wall. Leaning backwards, he closed his eyes and tried to get his breath back as he whispered, "Lou ain't gonna die. Lou ain't gonna die. She's too strong, and once she's at home and surrounded by everybody who loves her she'll get better. She has to get better."

His own words sounded too feeble to him, but this is all he could do not to succumb. He was too close to crumble down, but he could not allow himself to cave in. Lou needed him, and he had to be strong for her.

Even though he did not feel much better, he made an effort to carry on. After the telegraph office, he went to the local stables, and talked to Alfred. The groom instantly asked about Lou, and Kid just said what he told everybody. "She's holding on." Kid felt unable to say out loud that his wife was getting worse and worse with each passing day. That would sound too real to his ears, and he could not accept it.

Kid asked Alfred to fix the back of their wagon to transport Lou safely to Rock Creek. Since Kid was in a hurry to leave Seneca as soon as possible, he stayed to give the man a hand. Both men made a makeshift bed with several blankets on the wooded surface of the wagon, and then they fit bows from side to side on the frame so that they could cover its length with canvas. Lou needed all the protection he could provide, and he needed a covered wagon to protect her from the unstable weather at this time of the year.

Kid thanked Alfred for the job, doubling the number of coins the groom usually charged. After leaving the stables, he went to the general store, and bought the provisions he would need for the ride to Rock Creek. Once finished, he headed back for the house, carrying his purchases in a wooden crate.

As Kid reached the house, he walked into the kitchen to leave his things before dashing upstairs to check on Lou. In the kitchen he found Albert before the stove. The young man was holding Lou's tea tin and a teaspoon, ready to brew some tea. When Albert noticed Kid's presence, he put both objects down on the kitchen worktop as he muttered, "Theresa asked me to make some tea for your wife."

Kid could hear a shivery, strained timbre in his voice, and looked at him quizzically. His trembling tone was plain for Kid, who understood that the man was trying to conceal his irritation. From the little the Southerner knew, Albert was a very peculiar kind of person. After seeing him and Theresa together, Kid thought Albert was not the kind of man he would have imagined his vivacious sister-in-law would end up with. Albert was too strict in some very trivial things, had rules for everything, and his opinions sounded like they were from another century. Kid imagined that Albert's current irritation was addressed to him as he had been forced to do something domestic like brewing tea while Kid was outside.

"Don't worry. Let me do it myself," The Southerner said, leaving the crate on the table, and taking Albert's place.

Albert threw a casual look at the crate brimming with Kid's provisions. "You've been busy at the store," he muttered as his eyes examined the contents of the wooden crate.

Kid turned slightly from the stove, and realized what Albert was talking about. "I bought a few things I need," he said, and reading the man's silent question in his eyes, the Southerner cleared his throat before speaking up again. "I wanted to talk to you and Theresa about something. I… I'm going tomorrow morning and…"

Kid's voice trailed off as he noticed Albert's smug smile. The Southerner did not know what reaction he would expect from him when he announced his intentions, but this was certainly not how he had imagined Albert would react. "It's understandable," Albert said, still smiling.

"What's understandable?" A new voice resounded in the kitchen, and they saw Theresa appear.

Without any preambles, Albert blurted out, "Kid's leaving tomorrow."

"What?" Theresa exclaimed loudly, turning her furious eyes to her brother-in-law. "You're leaving! You can't be serious!"

Before Kid could reply, Albert stepped in, "Hold your horses, honey. Please don't be so harsh with the man. Taking care of a sick person like one in Louise's condition is too draining. A person has certain limits you can't forcefully stretch. Kid has other responsibilities too, and he can't leave everything for your sister. Life goes on, and Louise is fine where she is… with us."

"One moment!" Kid blustered angrily. "What the hell are you saying, Albert? What kind of person do you take me for? My wife is my first responsibility, nothing else! How could you even believe I'd abandon her when she needs me most?"

"Sorry I thought…" Theresa tried, but Kid cut her off.

"It's true I'm leaving tomorrow, but I'm taking Lou with me."

"What?" Theresa exclaimed in the same shocked tone. Albert's face had also changed suddenly, and he did not look as pleased as he had been so far.

"Lou asked me. She woke up for a minute this morning, and said she wanted to go to Rock Creek."

"Kid, you can't be considering this seriously," Theresa replied. "My sister can't travel in her condition. She's too sick."

"That's what she wants, Tessie, and I plan to do as she told me. You should've heard her this morning. She practically begged me. For some reason it's important to her."

Theresa softened, considering what Kid was saying, but Albert was not happier. "She must've been delirious then. What do you want? Kill her?" Albert snarled, his face red with anger while panic crept into his soul.

"Kid, it's too risky… she's too sick," Theresa said softly, torn between the two men's arguments.

"I'll take care of her. Nothing's gonna happen. All I know is that she needs this," Kid stated without a single trace of doubt.

"Louise isn't going anywhere. She's my responsibility… this is my house, and I say no!" Albert continued in the same tone.

"She's my wife!"

"A wife you didn't give a damn about for years!" Albert cried loudly. "I won't let you harm her more than you already have! She stays here where she belongs… with those who really love her. If you want to take her away, you'll have to do it over my dead body!"

"Are you challenging me, Keller?" Kid roared, and unceremoniously a hand grabbed Albert by the collar while the other balled into a fist. Fury coursing throughout his veins, Kid lifted his hand against the man, and if he had a gun at this moment, he would be aiming it at this infuriating man.

"No!" Theresa cried, rushing to stand between the two men and pulling them apart. "Please don't fight. Kid, please. Albert is right. Lou's not well to travel. I understand you want to do what she asked you, but you know, she can't tell the difference whether she goes to Rock Creek or not. She isn't conscious most of the time, you know that." Kid lowered his fist, and released Albert when he noticed Theresa's hot tears running down her face. "This is too hard as it is. My sister's dying… dying. Oh God! Please don't make this harder than it is. Let her die in peace. This is the best for her in this moment. This is Lou's home… and she deserves to be undisturbed in her last moments in life."

The last sentence came out of the young woman's mouth in a sob. Theresa lunged herself against her husband, crying on his chest. Albert stroked her hair while his eyes looked at Kid glacially. "Don't worry, honey. Your sister isn't going anywhere. She's staying with us."

In silence Kid glared at Albert, and before he did something he might regret, he turned on his heel, and dashed out of the kitchen and up the stairs. In despair he rushed to the bedroom where Lou was in the same position as when he had left her. Approaching her, he stroked her face with the back of his hand as he whispered, "Lou, we're going home. Soon… very soon."


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 37**

Darkness wrapped its thick black cloak around the sleeping town, only with the chirps of crickets and the howling of the gentle wind disturbing the stillness of the night. Silence dominated the world after the boisterous activity of the day. However, almost imperceptible sounds completed the picture in the black canvass of the night.

In a dark room the soft rustling of clothes and shuffling of feet broke the silence. Kid moved around the bedroom cautiously, trying to locate the saddle bags he had previously packed and hidden. After a few minutes, his eyes got used to the lack of light, but even so, it was a tricky task to find his way in the darkness. He did not dare light the lamp for fear that Albert and Theresa would notice and ruin his plans.

Kid intended to sneak Lou out and travel to Rock Creek under the protection of the night. Albert and Theresa had positioned themselves against his intentions to take Lou home just like she desired. Kid knew that nothing anybody said could prevent him from granting his wife her wishes.

Nobody could stop him. Albert Keller could not stop him. Kid would stand up to him any time, and wouldn't need to sneak out in the middle of the night like a thief. Yet, logic told him to avoid any further confrontations. After all, Theresa and Albert were family, and he would not do Lou or himself any favors if he did not try to avoid strain with his in-laws. Naturally, when they found him and Lou gone, Theresa and Albert would want to throttle him, but he would deal with them at the time. Right now what mattered to him was Lou, nothing or nobody else.

The almost full moon poured its light through the curtain-opened window, illuminating Lou's figure on the bed. Kid approached, and very gently he shifted her body. Louise moaned, and in a whisper he said, "Honey, I'm taking you home… to Rock Creek." The Southerner did not know if Lou could hear him, but after his words she stopped her moans. As carefully as possible he maneuvered her to put on a coat over her nightgown and covered her head with a hood. Then he bundled her up in a couple of thick blankets. It was cold outside, and every precaution was a must. Kid then slung the saddle bags over his shoulders, which contained what was strictly necessary. Trying not to raise suspicions last night, Kid could not take with him everything he had bought at the store, and had selected just a few things Lou would need during the ride.

"Lou, it's time. Let's try not to make any sounds," Kid whispered before he scooped her up in his arms.

Walking in the dark was tricky in itself, but carrying somebody in your arms made the task twice as difficult. Kid moved along the corridor slowly, and with every step he took the floorboards creaked under his weight. It was an almost imperceptible sound during the day, but in the silence of the night to Kid's ears it reverberated as stridently as an out-of-tune trumpet. The Southerner held his breath as he shuffled by the door behind which Theresa and Albert slept. For some reason his steps on the spot seemed to tap against the floor more loudly, and he was afraid he might wake up the couple, and as he got past without incident, relief coursed throughout him.

The corridor today looked longer than ever, and Kid felt the urge to run. Yet, he continued advancing at a slow pace. The more steps he took, the farther the end felt. Kid let out his held breath as he finally reached the beginning of the staircase. His steps sped up. He could not wait to leave the house.

Just as he and Lou had done a couple of weeks ago, Kid walked through the store on his way to exit the place. Had only two weeks gone by? Kid wondered. It felt much longer, but at the same time it also felt like yesterday that he and Lou had stormed inside this house, soaked to their bones and giggling happily. Where had those carefree days gone? Where was his Lou? The unmoving woman in his arms wasn't her. Who had stolen her vibrant soul? Who had poisoned her spirit?

Distracted by his black thoughts, Kid unexpectedly bumped against the table where the scales stood, much in the same way he had done weeks ago. The table staggered, the scales rattling, and to Kid's horror the iron weights and metal pans fell onto the floor raucously, the clacking echoing in the room and the rest of the house. Kid kept still, dreading to be discovered and what was to follow. He silently counted to ten. Nothing. He counted to twenty. Nothing.

"That was a close call, honey," he whispered. "Let's get you out of here before your clumsy husband wakes the whole town."

Without delay he walked across the room, and relief washed over him when he unlocked the door and finally stepped out into the cold, night air. "We're going home, Lou, just like you wanted."

* * *

The rumble and creaking of the elegant desk echoed in the room as its bright, mahogany legs shook, supporting the powerful impact of a punch against the shiny, wooden surface. Albert looked at his father with a fearful expression. "When did this happen?" Dr. Hill demanded to know.

"He… he must have snuck out in the middle of the night," Albert explained in a soft voice. "Yesterday he told us he wanted to take Louise to Rock Creek, but I thought…"

"For goodness' sake! Don't you know what this means for us, Albert?"

The young man's mouth curled down in a disregarding way. "She's too sick. She'll probably die before reaching the next town. We're good, father."

"Good! Good!" the doctor roared, thumbing both his fists on the table. "What if she doesn't die? What if her husband calls another doctor? The dumbest physician could tell what's really happening to her."

Albert paled, and his voice started trembling. "But… but you said it was safe."

"As long as she stayed in Seneca!" Dr. Hill exclaimed, rising to his feet. "You just had to make sure she wouldn't go anywhere. That wasn't too difficult, was it?"

"How could I imagine her husband would play that trick on us?" Albert snapped back as fury bubbled inside him. Sometimes his father treated him like a fool who could not do a thing right, exactly like he had done when Albert was a child. His strict, patronizing ways were too much for Albert, but he knew he couldn't rebel, or break ties from him. He was his father, and there were more reasons to stay together than blood connections.

"I told you from the beginning he would create problems… the bastard," Dr. Hill muttered as he started pacing up and down his office.

"And you were right… like always," Albert said between gritted teeth.

Dr. Hill stopped his pacing to look at his son curiously. "Do you think he suspects something?"

"I don't think so. How could he?" Albert muttered, and shaking his head, he added, "I really don't know. He looks like a fool, but he isn't one."

Dr. Hill came closer to Albert, and tapped him on the back. "Don't worry, son. Nothing's changed. This is just a little obstacle." The young man glanced at him expectantly, sure his father had a backup plan. His expectations had to be put off since Dr. Hill was curious about something else. "What has your wife said?"

"She's frantic with worry, and furious with Kid. As soon as we found them gone, she wanted to ride after them."

"She's a very clever woman. It's a shame she and I can't have a normal relationship as relatives. We'd get on very well."

"I doubt she'd appreciate you killing her brother, and planning to do to the same to her sister," Albert drawled pointedly.

Dr. Hill chuckled. "You sometimes surprise me, son. I didn't know you had a sense of humor." Albert remained stoically serious while his father added, "You know I'm not proud of this. I swore to save lives, not slash them short, but this is something different. We have no alternative."

Albert nodded. "What are we going to do now?"

"Do what your wife says. Follow them to Rock Creek. With a bit of luck, there won't be a Louise McCloud anymore. It's surprising she's still holding on."

"And if she's still alive? What if they find out the reason why she is so sick?"

"We'll stick to our initial plan," Dr. Hill stated thoughtfully. "If there are any suspicions, which I doubt, they should fall on the fella working at the store. You haven't tampered with anything else other than those tea leaves, have you?"

Albert shook his head. "This scares me," the young man muttered. "If they find the connection, we'll be lost."

"Nobody will find out anything."

Albert raked his fingers through his perfect brilliantine-laden hair as he exclaimed, "Oh Pa! I hope she's dead! I hope she dies soon! I was really fond of her, but now it's her or us. And I want her dead even if I have to kill her with my own hands."


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 38**

Kid slapped the reins against the horses' back powerfully as Rock Creek's outline appeared before his eyes. Finally they were there. The ride had been too slow and long. Despite his eagerness to reach their destination as soon as possible, Kid had been unable to make it to Rock Creek faster. Lou was too ill, and he had to stop every few hours to feed or check on her, to help her when she got sick, or simply to water the horses. Her nausea was not as bad as at the beginning, mainly because her stomach had nothing much to eat, but even so, she was still shaken by bouts of retching.

On the ride Lou had come out of her constant sleep a couple of times. The first time she had fought him when he had tried to feed her. Unexpectedly, Lou had hit his hand, which had caused him to spill her tea, but fortunately, he had managed to calm her down, and gave her some soup. The second time she had opened her eyes wide and stared at him unblinkingly. "We're going home," she had said in a weak voice. Kid had smiled, assuring her they would soon be in Rock Creek. Louise had managed a weak smile before she had contorted in her too-usual pains, and that had been the last time his wife had been conscious.

Kid drove the wagon through the town's main street. His solemn eyes looked around the familiar surroundings as if he were seeing everything for the first time. The buildings and people oozed sorrow and deep grimness, a direct reflection of his own mood and hopelessness. Now that they had reached Rock Creek, what next? Was this the end of their road? What was left for him to do? Just hope? Hope for a miracle? Or maybe hope for his own death? If Lou went, he would not have any wish to keep walking on this earth alone.

The house were they had spent the first blissful couple of months in their marriage arose before his eyes in the relatively small distance. Lou was right, and he realized he shared her feelings about the house; this was their home. When he had been at the front lines during the war, his thoughts always went to the place he wanted to come back to, that is, to the two-storied house they had bought and filled with dreams. Even when he knew he was not welcome, he still felt it was the only place he would certainly call home. However, he now realized that the house was just stone, wood, and mortar, nothing else. His home was his Lou. If her abode was a shanty, a swamp, or the open desert, that would be his home too. His heart belonged just where hers was.

Kid stopped the wagon in front of the house, and before he eased down, the door opened, and five somber-looking figures filed out. Kid did not say a word as his friends approached. His dismal face spoke volumes, and as he stalked towards the back of the wagon, Teaspoon grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Son, could you…?"

"Not now, Teaspoon," Kid broke in. "Let's get Lou settled first, and then I'll tell you everything."

Kid did not wait for his reply, and continued on his way while he heard Rachel say, "He's right."

As Kid poked his head inside the covered wagon, he could hear her deep intakes of breath. "That's it, my love. Breathe, keep breathing for me," he silently voiced. Crawling inside the bed, he paused to look at her, and like usual, his hand softly brushed against her face. His eyes suddenly widened and his whole body jerked back so powerfully that he fell from the wagon onto the dusty ground.

"Kid!" Teaspoon called urgently while Cody rushed to help his friend back to his feet.

"She's burning!" the Southerner exclaimed desperately.

"I'll get Dr. Sullivan," Buck volunteered, and dashed off as fast as his still lean body allowed him.

"Oh God!" Kid cried, throwing his arms to the sky. "Ain't she going through enough as it is? What kind of punishment is this? Why? Why?"

Kid's voice faltered, drowned by overwhelming sobs. His legs buckled, and he fell heavily on his knees again. His hands raked his hair hectically, and he did not care if his friends saw him cry like a baby; he just could not take any more. This was too much, and he could not hold back any longer.

"Jimmy, please, carry Lou inside," Teaspoon instructed, and crouched before Kid. The marshal pushed the Southerner onto his feet. "Son, please pull yourself together! Remain strong for Lou."

Kid wiped his wet eyes and nose with his hands. "It's too damn hard!" he cried; his exasperated eyes following Jimmy as he scooped up Lou's languid figure in her arms.

"Son, what's wrong with Lou? You just said she was sick in your telegram?"

Kid turned his pained, wet eyes to the marshal. "Teaspoon, she's dying," he let out in a struggling voice as his eyes welled up again.

A cold shiver ran through the marshal's spine, and he exchanged an anguishing look of disbelief with Cody, whose blue eyes expressed the same agony. Gazing back at Kid, the marshal patted his former rider's shoulder as he said, "Kid, she ain't dead now. Save your tears and your strength. She needs you strong, and tears are a bad omen. Keep your faith. Let's not give up on her."

"It's our Lou, Kid… Lou!" Cody repeated her name as if that was enough to explain why he found it so difficult to believe what his friend was saying. "She's a fighter, and she'll come out of this."

Kid nodded somberly. He really wanted to believe their words. In fact, he had first refused to believe he was losing his wife. Lou's stronger than this, he told himself, but as the days had gone by, and her condition worsened, his faith had also waned. Now hearing Cody and Teaspoon talk, he urged himself not to despair, and believe that the unlikely was possible. Lou needed him and his faith, and he needed her desperately.

* * *

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Kid took her unresponding hand in his. "Lou, we're home," he whispered softly. "Just like you wanted." His hand touched her feverish face. Rachel had placed a wet rag on her forehead, trying to bring down her temperature, but she still felt too hot.

As his eyes focused on her face, he could hear some voices behind him, but their words did not register in his mind. His whole attention was on Lou and his own prayers. A hand on his shoulder unexpectedly snapped him out of his private world, and as he looked up, Dr. Sullivan's stern face appeared before his eyes. "Mr. McCloud, would you please step outside for a few minutes while I examine your wife?"

Kid simply nodded and followed the others out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Rachel and the men settled in the living room. Nobody said a word, and Kid could hardly keep still. A single minute away from Lou's side felt like an eternity, especially since he knew that every moment was too precious. He really wanted to have faith, and believe that Dr. Sullivan would give him a little hope.

After pacing up and down his living room, the Southerner perched sideways on a lonely chair by the window, and his eyes absentmindedly looked out, watching without seeing life passing by. Without turning his eyes from the window, he suddenly blurted out, "Lou knew something bad was gonna happen."

Rachel and the men exchanged a look. "What do you mean, Kid?"

The Southerner averted his gaze to look at his friends. "She told me that since we left Rock Creek, she kept having these strange sensations that something wasn't right… like a warning. I just put it down to her anxiety for everything to be right between us, you know, given our past history. Yet, now I wonder…" Kid's voice trailed as he felt overcome by emotion. "It ain't fair; it ain't fair. We still have so much to live. It ain't fair."

Nobody spoke as Kid kept muttering. They all knew that their friend needed to vent his frustration and pain. He did not want to hear empty words of consolation, or false, patronizing phrases. They let him talk freely, all feeling his pain and despair, and after a while, the Southerner kept quiet, and nobody else dared to break his silence.

Half an hour later they heard a door open and close upstairs. Kid instantly rose to his feet, and waited for the doctor at the foot of the staircase. Dr. Sullivan climbed down the stairs slowly. Kid simply stared at him expectantly as the physician stood before him. The doctor ran his eyes through the men and woman flanking the Southerner, and finally directed his gaze to Kid. "The fever will probably go down with the medicine I've given her. On the ride she must have caught a chill." The doctor paused, and looking away from Kid, he added, "Marshal, could I have a word with you in private?"

Teaspoon looked visibly surprised, noticing the doctor's peculiar attitude. He had known Sullivan for years, and he could tell there was something weird that the doctor did not want to say. The marshal wondered what he was hiding, but instead of asking, he said, "Sure, George. Just lead the way."

With narrowed, suspicious eyes, Kid watched Dr. Sullivan and Teaspoon walk to the front door. He feared what the doctor would not tell him. The two men stepped outside, and through the window Kid could see them. First, the physician seemed to be muttering something with a solemn countenance. Whatever he was saying did not leave the marshal indifferent. Teaspoon's face clearly expressed a mixture of shock and surprise, and the conversation between the two men started to heat up. Teaspoon kept gesticulating with both hands while the doctor nodded or shook his head. After a few minutes the marshal turned on his heel and stalked back into the house with Dr. Sullivan in tow.

"Kid," Teaspoon called in a firm voice, "the doctor here has something to tell you about your wife."

Dr. Sullivan pointedly threw a glimpse at the group of people in the room, and reading his thoughts, Kid remarked, "You can say whatever you have to tell me about Lou before my family."

"All right," the doctor nodded. "Mr. McCloud, this ain't a simple matter. After examining your wife, I have reached the conclusion that her condition has nothing to do with the tumor you claim she has."

Kid frowned, and cast a look at Teaspoon, who remained impassive. "Wh… what do you mean?"

"It's not cancer." Dr. Sullivan replied.

"Then what is it?" Rachel dared to ask.

Dr. Sullivan inhaled deeply before answering the question. "All her symptoms point out that Mrs. McCloud is a victim of poisoning."

Rachel gasped while everybody else looked at the doctor in total shock. "Poisoning?" Kid echoed, not really understanding what he was hearing. "But… but that ain't possible. Who could do that?"

"I thought you could enlighten us, Mr. McCloud," Dr. Sullivan remarked stiffly.

"How … how … how can I know" Kid stammered, still in disbelief, and as he glimpsed at Teaspoon, it suddenly dawned on him what they were not saying. "You… you think I'm behind all this?" he exclaimed in a struggling voice.

"Kid," Teaspoon said, resting a hand on the young man's tense shoulder. "I hate to do this, but I have to ask. Dr. Sullivan thinks Lou can't have ingested a harmful substance by accident… it seems she must've been made to consume something poisonous for a while. Son, answer this." The marshal stopped, cleared his throat uncomfortably, and finally asked, "Do you have anythin' to do with this?"

"No!" Kid exclaimed loudly, his face red and his eyes bright in a mixture of pain and shock. "How could you even think I could do anything to kill Lou? She's my whole life! I could never hurt her… how could you believe I could try to kill her?"

Teaspoon patted the young man on the back comfortingly. "Son, I don't doubt ya. It's just my darn job. I know how much you love Lou, and I could never picture you harmin' a woman, let alone your wife."

"But… but… I don't understand. How… who…? Is Lou going to be fine?" Kid asked in the same despairing voice, unable to form a coherent thought into words. This was too strange and horrible to be true.

"Mr. McCloud, please calm down," Dr. Sullivan said. "We first need to talk this through, and you might have the answer to your own questions."


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 39**

Rachel excused herself, and hurried upstairs to keep watch over Louise. The men settled around the table in the living room. Kid dropped his elbows on the wooden surface of the table, and rested his head in his hands, trying to digest what Dr. Sullivan had told them. It was so incredible that he did not know what to think of it. He even found himself doubting the doctor's words. How was that possible? And more important, who wanted to harm Lou and why?

"Son, are you all right?"

Still with his face in his hands, Kid shook his head. He rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands, and then lifted his gaze to the marshal. "I haven't been fine for weeks, and I won't be until my wife gets better." Kid then looked at the doctor, and asked, "Is she gonna get well, Doc?"

Dr. Sullivan did not speak right away as he tried to find the right words to say. Mr. McCloud was logically quite upset, so the doctor told himself he needed to be careful about his explanations. "I can't give you a straight answer, I'm afraid, Mr. McCloud. Your wife's full recovery very much depends on the kind of poison she has been administered. In some cases a single dose is enough to kill a person in minutes or hours. In other cases the deterioration is slower, but death is unavoidable at the end of the road. And quite often when the poison is possible to be purged, it can also leave lifelong effects."

As Dr. Sullivan spoke, Kid's face gradually got a deadly pallor, and he felt sick to his stomach. "So my wife can still die?"

"Kid, let's not be so pessimistic," Teaspoon interjected. "There are cases in which a person can have a full recovery. Ain't that right, George?"

The doctor nodded. "It's vital to know what kind of poison we're talking about."

"And how on earth can we find that information?" Buck asked, staring at the doctor as if he were a fool.

"Maybe if we knew who wants to harm Lou, we could've some clues to follow," Teaspoon suggested.

"And then what? Ask them politely? 'Could you please tell us what you've given our friend? We'd be eternally grateful to you.' For God's sake," Jimmy said sarcastically.

"Jimmy, if you have nothin' better to do than that, please keep your opinions to yourself! We need a trail to follow… somethin'… anythin'," Teaspoon stated angrily. This matter was affecting him more than he had stopped to consider. There was somebody out there that had tried to kill Lou, his sweet girl. Teaspoon usually managed to remain cool and unbreakable in the worst situations he came across with in his job, but when his family was involved, he could not stay detached.

Dr. Sullivan ignored the dialectic exchange between Teaspoon and his deputy, and turned his attention to Kid. "Mr. McCloud, who cooks the food your wife has lately been eating?"

"A few weeks ago we were at our ranch. Ari, my housekeeper, usually does all the cooking, and…"

"Do you think your housekeeper might have added more than salt in Lou's meals?" Cody asked, cutting him off.

Kid shook his head energetically. "Not Ari. She wouldn't hurt her. She and Lou didn't start off on the right foot at first, but they later discovered that they went back a long way… Ari and Lou's mother used to be friends, and she's very fond of Lou. I also wired her, and she'll show up today or tomorrow."

"And in Seneca, Kid?" Teaspoon asked.

"Theresa… Lou's young sister, cooked our meals, but she wouldn't do anything against her own sister."

"We know, Kid," Buck said.

"All of us ate the same as Lou, and the food came from the same pot and platter," the Southerner continued. "If there had been something toxic in Lou's plate, we would also have fallen sick too, wouldn't we?"

The doctor nodded, musing that somehow someone had just tampered with Mrs. McCloud's food in a way that was not so obvious. "Did she always eat the same as you?"

"When she started feeling sick, the doctor in Seneca changed her diet, and recommended she had plenty of liquid and soft foods. So then I took up preparing her meals."

"Just you?" Dr. Sullivan asked.

"Just me."

"All the time?"

Kid nodded. "Yes, all the time, but I swear to God I could never harm her on purpose." His lips trembled as he shook his head in disbelief. "Just saying this aloud sounds so absurd to my ears. Me trying to kill Lou, the woman I adore."

"We understand how you feel, son," Teaspoon replied, reaching out to tap his back encouragingly.

"In Seneca it was you, Theresa, and her husband, wasn't it?" Cody remarked, and at Kid's nod, he asked, "Do you think Tessie's fella might have anything to do with this?"

"Albert? I don't think so," Kid muttered. "He's very fond of Lou too, in a strange, possessive kind of way."

"What do you mean by that?" Jimmy asked this time.

Kid swayed his hand to and fro disregardingly. "Lou's been living with them for quite a long time, and Albert feels she's his responsibility, as if she belonged to him. He practically threw a tantrum when I told him I wanted to bring Lou here. I guess he still aint' used to the idea that Lou's my wife. He's a peculiar fella, that's all."

"Mr. McCloud, there's little doubt your wife's suffering the effects of poisoning," Dr. Sullivan added. "There's somebody out there with very real reasons to harm her."

"Right now what most matters to me is my wife and getting her back to good health," Kid stated firmly, pressing his fists at his sides. "When that happens, I'll be able to bring myself to think about all those possibilities. Right now my mind is just with her."

The room remained quiet for a while, and the doctor broke the silence again. "I understand your feelings, but do you realize that if we don't know what your wife has ingested, I won't be able to help her effectively?"

Before Kid could say anything, Teaspoon stepped in. "If only Kid and Theresa handled what Lou ate, there must be another way the poison got to her."

Dr. Sullivan nodded. "There are other possibilities, naturally. Somebody might have tampered with the food before it was cooked. It could also be something else other than in her regular meals, candy, chocolate, water, coffee…"

"Tea!" Kid exhaled, the word rolling off his tongue and his eyes almost moistening as the truth fell over him unexpectedly.

"Exactly. Things like that," Dr. Sullivan agreed.

Kid shook his head and lifted his palm to the doctor as a way to sign for permission to speak. "Lou takes an herbal tea that supposedly helps her when she has an upset stomach. Only she drinks it. Nobody else. I took a sip once, and it almost made me gag. It's a special preparation she gets from a local herbalist, and she claims it soothes her stomach."

"Do you think that herbalist could have loaded that tea with too much ammunition?" Cody asked.

"I don't even know the man," Kid replied. "But his nephew Jack works for Lou in the store. He's the one who brings her the tea. And…" Kid paused, as the truth dawned on him like a ton of bricks, "And according to Lou, Jack got quite upset when he learned she was married to me… he had… uh… he had some romantic ideas about my wife."

"So this Jack's feeling scorned and might be trying to get some moral vengeance on Lou?" Jimmy asked rhetorically.

"I don't know. I wouldn't say that much. Ain't it a bit far-fetched?"

"Son, in my ample experience there are three main reasons why folks kill: money, power, and, believe it or not, love," Teaspoon added.

The Southerner listened to the marshal while considering what he was saying. There was something that did not added up here; something they were forgetting, but he could not put his finger on it. His mind could not reconcile itself with the idea of Jack being behind all this. The man was not cut out to be a cold-blooded murderer, but it was true that he still had problems accepting that somebody could go to the extreme to harm his wife for some reason. "I really don't know."

"Mr. McCloud," Dr. Sullivan called, snapping him out of his train of thought. "We first need to make sure that is the way your wife was poisoned. Do you happen to have some of that tea with you?"

Kid nodded. "I have a tin in my saddle bags," he muttered.

The Southerner soon retrieved the tea from his bags he had left in the wagon, and brought it to the doctor. The physician opened the tin, smelled its strong aroma, and had a look inside, finding a huge mixture of different herbs as far as he could see. "I'll go to my office, and find out what is in this tea. I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible," the doctor said as he put the lid back on the tin and got ready to leave.

"Thanks, George," Teaspoon said, shaking hands with the doctor. "And please let's be discreet about this matter." The physician nodded in understanding, and the marshal swept his eyes around the other men. "This goes for all of us. Not a word to anybody."

"Why, Teaspoon?" Cody asked.

"Heed me in this, please," the marshal added. "We still don't' know who's behind this sordid matter, and who wants to kill our Lou. Let's keep the information to ourselves. That might be our powerful weapon."

Kid agreed with the marshal's request for caution. "If anybody asks, just tell them my wife's very sick."

All the men nodded eventually, and the doctor took his leave. The door had not even been closed when Kid was dashing upstairs to Lou. He was not sure what he was feeling any longer. The idea that Lou had been poisoned on purpose was so bizarre that he still did not know what to believe. Who could do such a thing to her? Could Jack Stewart try to kill her out of spite? And if not him, who? At the moment, like he had told the doctor, all he cared about was that Dr. Sullivan could save his beautiful wife, nothing else. When Lou was out of danger, they could track down the bastard who had tried to kill her, and he hoped justice could be done. Yet, until then all his thoughts and energy went out to Lou and his desire to see her back to life.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 40**

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Kid held Lou's right hand between his, and kept pressing his lips against her knuckles every few seconds. The fever had come down notably with the medicine Dr. Sullivan had prescribed. However, she now had a slight cough, but even so, her eyes remained tightly closed in a deep slumber. Kid prayed with all his heart that since they knew what was wrong with her, she could be nursed back to health.

It was so strange to see her so still and quiet. Kid missed her smile, her laugher, her voice, her kisses, all of her. If when they had been separated, he had felt her physical absence too strongly, now things were twice as bad. The powerlessness and frustration were too much, and he could hardly refrain from shouting at the top of his lungs, but he just sat there, watching her with his very sad eyes, which had cried in the last days more than in his whole life.

In these moments of silence and solitude with Lou, Kid silently wondered if Lou could now be better, why Dr. Hill hadn't found out what was really wrong with her. The Seneca physician had been so confident and certain about Lou's grave condition that Kid had never questioned his diagnosis. His initial refusal to believe Lou was so sick had been just a way to disguise his pain and desperation, but he had never thought for real there was another explanation to Lou's condition. Kid cursed the doctor for not seeing the reality, and he painfully realized that if he had stayed in Seneca, Lou would have met her death eventually. Now there was a hope, and he wanted to believe she could eventually heal.

"Lou, you're gonna be fine. We need to have faith like Teaspoon says," he whispered, bringing her hand to his lips and planting another kiss on her knuckles.

Lou coughed as if she was replying to his words, and Kid managed to smile weakly. Once again his thoughts wandered off, and he kept analyzing everything he had learned today, but the more he thought about it, the more confused and clueless he got.

In the silence of the bedroom Kid suddenly heard the roar of voices coming from downstairs. His friends were in the house, and Kid wondered what was happening. Thinking that Dr. Sullivan might be back with more information, Kid decided to find out. Placing a kiss on Lou's forehead, he whispered, "Won't be long, honey."

As Kid made his way down the stairs, the loud voices boomed in the house in a cacophony. His steps quickened as his curiosity perked up. He wanted to know what had caused this din, and then he would put an end to it. Lou needed her rest, and he wouldn't have this ruckus that might disturb her. As he reached the end of the staircase, he got a brief glimpse of Theresa when a powerful punch landed on his face, making him fall on his backside.

Disoriented, Kid rubbed his sore jaw, and lifting his eyes, he saw Jimmy grab Albert by the collar and pin him against a wall. The loud voices continued between Jimmy and Albert, and as the Southerner took the hand Buck offered him and rose to his feet, he thought Jimmy looked as if he was ready to kill Albert.

"You bastard!" Albert snarled, pushing his way free from Jimmy, and pointing a threatening finger in Kid's direction. "What the hell are you trying to do? Kill Louise?"

"Albert Please, calm down," Theresa tried to mediate, but her husband was way too furious to hear her.

Kid took a few steps closer to the red-faced man, and with a very calm voice he said, "First of all, keep your voice down. My wife's resting upstairs, and the least she needs is to be disturbed. And secondly, you're talking about _my_ wife, and I have her interests and welfare at heart. Never forget that."

His words managed to soothe Albert, but the accountant still kept glaring at the Southerner angrily. "Kid," Theresa stepped in, "we told you how we felt about you taking Lou away. Don't you realize that all this travelling might have caused her more strain than she can endure? How could you go against our wishes and warnings on purpose?"

"With all my respect, Tessie, I don't give a damn what you or the whole world think," Kid said between gritted teeth. "My wife calls the shots here, not me, you, or your husband, and she wanted to come home."

"Kid, she's too sick to know what she wants!" Theresa cried out. "Does she really know where she is now? I doubt she can tell the difference."

"I do believe she'll feel better now that she's at home," Kid insisted stubbornly.

"Oh for goodness' sake!" Theresa exclaimed, almost in tears and frustrated by her brother-in-law's stubborn attitude.

"Please Tessie," Rachel broke in, coming closer to the girl and passing an arm around her tense shoulders. "Just drop it, please. Lou's already here, and it makes no sense to argue about something that can't be changed."

"I've been so worried," the younger woman admitted in a small voice.

"I know, honey," Rachel added. "But think that Lou's now with all her family and we can all help her."

"I didn't want to worry you, Theresa," Kid said honestly. "But I don't regret bringing Lou here."

Theresa stared at him, not sure whether she wanted to kick him or cry against his chest. Since Lou had fallen sick, Theresa's life had turned into a mess. She was too sensitive to everything happening around her, and all she wanted was to cry all the time. Not even did Albert manage to calm her down, but the opposite. His presence and usual attitude made her irritated. "How's my sister, Kid?" she finally asked.

"The same," the Southerner muttered, consciously not voicing the fact that Lou had caught a fever and been left with a cough.

"I want to see her," Theresa demanded in a serious voice.

"You know the way. This was also your home… and it still is," Kid replied.

Theresa nodded, and shifting her eyes to her husband she said, "Let's go, Albert."

The man sent Kid a cold look before he walked to the stairs with his wife. Rachel followed the married couple, wanting to check on Lou herself. As the men in the room heard their steps resounding upstairs, Jimmy said, "That fella Theresa married is an idiot."

Kid stretched his lips into a thin line in an ambiguous way. He did not know what to think of Albert, but he was sure that if he wasn't Theresa's husband, Kid wouldn't have any kind of relationship with him.

"Ain't you gonna tell Theresa what Dr. Sullivan said?" Buck asked.

Kid shook his head. "Not yet. Teaspoon told us to keep quiet about this, and I think he has a point there. Besides, I don't want to upset Theresa more than she already is. Hopefully, we might give her some good news soon."

His friends nodded in understanding. The front door slammed open, and Teaspoon strode in. "Kid, Dr. Sullivan wants to see us," he announced without preambles. "I thought we better talk in his office."

"He already knows?" Kid asked in a trembling voice.

"I imagine so," the marshal replied. He noticed Kid's countenance pale, dreading what the doctor might tell them. Teaspoon realized that there was a possibility that Dr. Sullivan might not have good news for them, and if Kid got as upset as he had first seen him today, he would need more moral back-up. "Jimmy, please come with us."

"We'll stay and keep an eye on your brother-in-law," Cody said, sinking down on the sofa. "We don't want another one of his uproars around here."

"Thank you, boys," said Teaspoon. Even though his former riders were now grown men, and had stopped being boys a long time ago, he still called them in the same way as when they were teenagers working for him. Nobody would dare to correct the marshal. It was refreshing in a way, and whenever they were all together, it was like going back to old times, and everything from that time made sense even today.

* * *

Kid inhaled deeply, feeling his body tremble from head to foot. What if the doctor told him that there was nothing unusual in the tea and he couldn't help Lou? Or worse, what if there was no hope for her and Dr. Sullivan confirmed that he would lose Lou eventually? That would mean going through the same agony once again, and he did not know if his spirit could endure it again. As the terrible thoughts entered his mind, Kid sighed and shook his head. He could not let his fears drag him down, and he should mind Teaspoon and be more positive.

Teaspoon opened the door to the doctor's house. Mrs. Sullivan received them in the foyer, and told them that her husband was waiting in his office. The three men walked into the room the woman pointed out at them. Dr. Sullivan was sitting at a rickety, old desk. The place was in semi-darkness; on the wall behind him there was a very small window through which the day's last weak sunrays filtered, and apart from that, a single lamp burned on top of one of the cabinets.

Dr. Sullivan beckoned the men to sit down, and when they were finally seated, Teaspoon asked, "What can you tell us, George?"

The physician pulled a desk drawer open, and for a few seconds he rummaged inside. Kid was so nervous that he kept fidgeting in his chair, and wringing his hands over and over again. Jimmy threw him a meaningful look, and the Southerner tried to keep still and get a grip of himself.

Dr. Sullivan straightened up in his chair, and to everybody's puzzlement, he placed a white flower on the wooden surface of the table. "This is what's killing your wife," the physician blurted out.

"Wh… what?"

The doctor picked up the flower, and pulled the pistils off. Holding them between his fingers, he said, "The tin you handed me hours ago was full of these, hidden among the other herbs. Even small and apparently harmless, this is the most poisonous part if given the right dose, and when dried, it is almost flavorless. No wonder your wife never noticed any difference in her tea."

Kid stared at the dried pistils in bewilderment. That minuscule wisp was killing Lou… that damn tiny thing. It was almost unbelievable. After the life she had led, fighting to survive for years, and coming out victorious and strong, now this almost invisible nothing could clearly defeat her. "Is… is my wife gonna get well?" Kid asked the question that mattered to him the most.

Without answering his question, Dr. Sullivan rose to his feet, and opened a cabinet from which he took two small bottles. Returning to the desk, he sat back down, and placed the two bottles on the desk. Kid studied their labels. One was castor oil, and the other one had one of those long names he would be unable to pronounce.

"Hopefully the poison has not caused irreparable damage, and we can cleanse your wife's organs," Dr. Sullivan explained while scribbling down some notes on a piece of paper. "I expect she responds to the treatment. She's young, and that plays to our advantage. I'm writing here step by step what you should do. I'll drop by every day to check on her."

For a few minutes the doctor explained his written instructions in detail, and answered the men's questions. Kid thanked the physician, and then the three men shook hands with him before going out.

Once outside Teaspoon turned to Kid, who held the two bottles of medicine in his hands as if he were holding a holy treasure. "Son, do you think that… Jack has really a part in this plot to kill Lou?"

"I… I don't know, but I guess it's the most logical assumption," Kid replied. "If it ain't him, then who?"

Teaspoon kept thoughtful, walking behind the two younger men. "One moment," the marshal called, and as his two former riders turned their attention to him, he added, "I think we need to find out the truth, and somebody should ride out to Seneca, and…"

"Don't count on me, Teaspoon," Kid interrupted the man's speech. "I ain't leaving Lou until I know she's out of danger."

Teaspoon nodded in agreement, and his eyes shifted to Jimmy pointedly. "Shall I arrest the fella, Teaspoon?" Jimmy asked.

"No. Take Cody with you, and try to find out if he's behind all this. Right now we have nothin' real against him."

"We'll leave right away," Hickok replied.

"Thanks, Jimmy," Kid said honestly. "You know how much Lou and I appreciate what…"

"Please Kid, you know we're family! There's no need for all that stuff. Don't make me embarrassed with all this soft talking. Just wish me luck… or rather wish luck to whoever is trying to hurt Lou because he's gonna need it when I find him."

Kid nodded, understanding his friend's feelings completely, and like Jimmy requested, he simply said, "Good luck, Jimmy."


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 41**

Cody and Hickok rode out of town as soon as they got ready. There was still a couple of hours' light, and when night fell, they made camp by a creek. The two friends had not said a single word since they had left Rock Creek. Even when they stopped for the night and could finally relax and eat some dinner, they kept quiet.

"Who could have thought you and I would be riding together again?" Cody finally broke the silence.

Jimmy stared at his friend above the camp fire that separated them. He calmly chewed a mouthful of beans, and when he swallowed them, he said, "You're right. It's been too long. This is important and for a good reason. It's about Lou."

"Do you think she'll make it?" Cody asked in a low, concerned voice.

"Of course she will. You know what a fighter she is, and Dr. Sullivan sounded quite optimistic."

"I hope you're right," Cody remarked, toying with the uneaten beans on his plate. "I can only imagine what Kid's going through. If something similar ever happened to my Louisa, I don't know what that would do to me."

Jimmy stared at his friend with obvious surprise. "I've never heard you so… so concerned and loving before."

"I love my wife and my family, but believe it or not, I'm quite… uh… shy when it's about them."

"You shy? Are you trying to pull my leg, Cody?" Jimmy exclaimed, unable to hide his disbelief and amusement.

Cody shook his head, and to Jimmy's total bewilderment his cheeks blushed. "It's true," Cody muttered. "They're my most beloved treasure, and… I don't know. It's difficult to explain. I feel I don't want to show them to the world. I just want them for myself, and even a hug in public feels as if our love gets soiled. I know it doesn't make sense."

Even though Cody was right and his explanation could not be more muddled, Jimmy understood him. "You're very lucky, Cody."

"I know," he admitted without the merest attempt to conceal the pride from his voice.

Jimmy nodded again. Maybe he would be lucky one day too, or who knows? Perhaps he was already lucky. He liked his life as it was. His friends meant the world to him, and had become the family Jimmy had always lured himself to think he did not need. Right now he could not imagine himself without them, and although they were not together all the time, he knew he could count on each of them no matter how far they were. He also loved his job and the action and adventure that came with it. It made him feel useful and alive, and he really couldn't see himself doing anything else. Maybe if he had a wife and children to think of, he would have to re-think his responsibilities. A wife might want him to lull and do a more regular job, which Jimmy would surely dislike. So in a way he was lucky not to have a little wife at home.

Despite his convictions Jimmy also felt a deep longing for a woman in his soul, and he would really like to start his every day in a crowded bed, and hear something more than silence in his empty house. At the moment he was courting a girl from town, Millie, but he didn't think it would last for too long. Even though he had been seeing her for months, Jimmy felt there was something missing, and he knew she wasn't the one.

Jimmy pondered over all the women he had loved in his life and had let go for one reason or another. Sometimes it had been his lack of courage, and others his pride. If he had done things differently, he would not be so lonely now. Yet, there was no time for regrets, but to look ahead, and trust the future.

Downing the rest of his coffee, Jimmy reached out to pour himself another cup. "Have you thought what we're gonna do when we get to Seneca?" Cody asked.

"We just have to do what Teaspoon told us: go and see Mr. Jack Stewart."

"And how are we gonna make him fess up?" Cody continued. "We can't expect him to spit a confession just like that."

"I have a plan… I always have a plan," Jimmy said with a crooked smile.

"I hope it works, Jimmy. I want the bastard who tried to kill Lou to pay for it," Cody said, his blue eyes shining with a dead serious quality that was too rare to see in them.

"I want that too, and we'll catch him," Jimmy stated matter-of-factly. Both men relapsed into silence once again. Neither said a word for the rest of the night as they kept in thought. They knew they could not fail; Kid and all the family counted on them. Jack Stewart had to pay for what he had done to Lou, and in the silence they swore to everything holy that nothing would stop them from doing justice.

* * *

It had been years since there had been so many people eating in his dining room. Nobody wanted to leave Kid while Lou was still so sick, so they all hung out in the house. Rachel had cooked dinner, and it had taken very persuasive powers to drag Kid away from Lou's side and convince him he needed to eat. Even so, the Southerner barely had a few bits and kept moving the food on his plate to and fro. The others talked in soft tones, words that Kid did not bother to understand. Theresa, Albert, and Rachel were on one side of the table, while Teaspoon and Buck sat opposite them. Kid had taken the place at one end while Ari was in the seat that should have been Lou's. The woman had arrived a couple of hours ago, and had been totally distraught when she had learned how sick Louise was.

"Kid, you should eat a bit more," Ari said, snapping him out of his thoughtfulness. "You won't be of any help to Louise if you get yourself sick."

"My stomach can't take any more," the Southerner added, pushing the plate away from him.

"It's understandable you have lost your appetite," Rachel continued. "But you have to make an effort."

"And you know Lou will have our hides if we don't look after you properly."

Kid managed a sad smile after Teaspoon's words. Even though Dr. Sullivan had given him the hope he had so wished for, the Southerner would not be able to relax until Lou was certainly out of danger.

To everybody's surprise, Theresa thumped her fist against the table, making it rattle, as she exclaimed, "Will you stop pretending my sister's gonna be fine? She's dying! Don't talk about her as if she only had a simple cold! The sooner we come to terms with her real situation, the less hurt we'll be adding to this already too sharp a pain!"

Theresa burst out crying loudly, and moved by her tears, Ari and Rachel also started weeping. Kid watched them in silence and with guilt. Following Teaspoon's warning, nobody had said a word about the real cause behind Lou's sickness. Not even Rachel knew everything, and they even had to come up with a lie for Jimmy and Cody's absence. Kid felt too bad to cause the women such a distress. Yet, if Teaspoon thought it was better this way, he might have his reasons. The marshal was rarely wrong, and Kid had blind faith in him.

"Tessie, I don't think givin' up on Lou is gonna help your sister," Teaspoon said in a soft tone.

Theresa lifted her moist eyes to the marshal. "Nothing can help her… nothing at all."

"Maybe not," Teaspoon conceded. "But you know what our Lou is like, and I don't think she'd appreciate to see how little faith we have in her. She'd go ballistic if she heard us right now."

Theresa kept quiet, and nobody else dared to say another word. Kid pulled the napkin off his nap, and rose to his feet. "I better take Lou some dinner," he muttered as he picked up his half-eaten plate and cutlery.

"Do you need any help?" Rachel offered.

The Southerner shook his head. "Go home, Rachel. Allan and your little one must be missing you. There's nothing here you can do, and your family needs you."

Kid disappeared into the kitchen, closing the door behind him. "Theresa, I think we should go too," Albert said, and as his wife looked at the closed kitchen door, he added, "He'll be fine on his own, and I'm sure he'd really welcome some quiet moments without people around."

"And if he needs something, I'll be here," Ari said with a smile. Kid had asked her to stay in the house, using Jeremiah's old bedroom. Theresa would have liked to sleep in her old home too, but she knew she couldn't just leave her husband alone in the hotel, and her old bed was too small for the two of them.

Theresa did not want to leave, but she knew Albert was right. Nodding, she rose to her feet. "Good night then," she muttered to no one in particular.

"Sleep well," Teaspoon added with a smile.

Theresa nodded again, and turned her attention to Ari. "I'm sorry to meet you under these terrible circumstances, Mrs. Giles. My sister was so glad to have found you after so many years, and she told me all about you."

Ari smiled, accepting she was nothing to this young woman who she had held in her arms as a baby. "Please call me Ari, or use your sister's nickname, Dana. You were such a lovely baby, Theresa, and it's hardly surprising you grew into this beautiful woman." Despite the deep sadness she was feeling, Theresa smiled thankfully, and Ari shifted her eyes to Albert. "You're a very lucky man."

"Yes, I know," Albert replied, passing an arm around his wife's shoulders.

Ari stared at the man for a few seconds, deep in thought. "You know? I have the weird impression I've seen you before. Have you ever been to Fort Kearney, Mr. Keller?"

"No, never," Albert replied in a flat tone.

"I don't know why, but your face looks so familiar."

"I guess I have one of those common faces," Albert remarked.

"That must be it."

Albert tilted his head to the woman politely, and steered his wife away, following Rachel to the front door. Ari stared after them, racking her brains to remember where she had seen Albert Keller before. She was sure today was not the first time she had laid eyes on the young man, but if for some reason he did not want to admit, it wasn't really important.

* * *

Cody and Jimmy arrived in Seneca around midday. Before getting down to the business that brought them to the city, they got themselves a couple of rooms at the hotel where they washed up and rested for a while. Later they had lunch in one of the restaurants.

It was late in the afternoon when the two former Pony Express riders made their way to the store. It was the only place they knew they could find Jack Stewart, and they hoped the man hadn't decided to close the store and have a day off since neither of the McCloud women was around.

Luckily, the store was open for business. It was quite full of customers when the two friends stepped inside. There were several men and women, looking around or waiting for their turn to talk to Jack Stewart, who was busy dealing with a tall gentleman. Cody and Jimmy roamed around the store, discreetly studying their target man. He was obviously very efficient and his smile was imperishable as he talked to the customers one by one.

When the last man left the store, carrying his purchases with a satisfied gait, Cody discreetly latched the door to avoid any interruptions. Albert had a ready smile as he approached Jimmy, but his face scrunched up in annoyance when he heard the metallic click at the door, and his displeased eyes shifted to Cody. "Hey, what the heck do you think you're doing?"

Cody did no reply, and walked closer to where Jimmy and the store keeper stood. "Jack Stewart, my name's James Hickok. My friend Cody and I work for the marshal in Rock Creek," Jimmy said, showing the badge pinned onto his vest.

That drew Jack's attention. "What can I do for you, Mr. Hickok?" he asked, wondering what business these two lawmen could possibly have in Seneca, so far from their location.

"We're also friends of Louise McCloud's," Cody added.

Jack's expression changed drastically as he remembered that his boss originally came from Rock Creek. It was there where her husband had taken her, according to Theresa, sneaking her out in the middle of the night like a thief. Jack did not approve of what Kid had done because Louise was too sick to travel, but as the young man had told Teresa, her husband had every right to decide what was best for her, and nobody could say anything against it.

"How's Louise?" Jack promptly asked, clutching his two hands together as he dreadfully waited for the answer.

"Not very well, I'm afraid, but she's still holding on," Jimmy replied, studying the man's face for any reactions.

Jack sighed. "I still can't believe she's so sick. Somebody so energetic and full of life like Louise, and so young…"

"Nobody's safe from disease," Cody ventured, expecting some change in the man's countenance, but Jack did not let anything on.

"I guess not," Jack said in a sad voice. It was devastating to think about Louise, and he could hardly reconcile with the idea of losing her. He genuinely loved her, and it was too hard not to be able to show the ripping pain searing him inside. He had no right to feel her loss so much; he was nobody to everybody's eyes, and he was especially nothing to her as she had clearly told him.

"Jack," Jimmy called, snapping the young man out of his thoughts. "May I call you Jack?" the man nodded, and Hickok said, "I'd like to ask you some questions."

"Questions? What questions?"

Jimmy ignored Jack, and took the tea tin out of his jacket pocket. "Do you happen to know what this is?" he asked, placing the tin on top of the counter.

Jack dropped a casual look at the container, and instantly recognized the pattern of smooth blueness marred by tiny white flowers. His uncle's shelves in his small store were full of these tins in different sizes. Jack lifted the one sitting on the counter to his eyes, and said, "My uncle sells them… well, rather what's inside."

"This belongs to Louise. You gave it to her?" Cody added.

Jack nodded. "For months now she's taken a preparation of herbs… some kind of tisane, which apparently is good for her stomach. You know, she sometimes suffers from pains and heartburn because of a stomach ulcer she's been fighting off for years," Jack explained, unsure why these two friends of Louise's were asking him these strange questions.

"I'd really like to try a cup now," Jimmy said. "What do you think, Cody?"

"I think it's an excellent idea," Cody replied with a smug smirk.

"Uh… there's a stove at the back. I can boil some…"

"Don't bother yourself. I can do it perfectly," Jimmy cut him off, and before Jack could say another word, Hickok whizzed past him to the back of the store. In the minutes that Jimmy was busy, brewing some tea, Jack remained in uncomfortable silence in Cody's overbearing presence, not really understanding what these two men were doing here, why they had invaded the store, or what they really wanted. A few customers knocked at the window, demanding to be let into the store, and Jack politely had to tell them to come back later, which in most cases did not sit well with the people who were in a hurry to be done with their purchases.

Jimmy returned a few minutes later. Placing a steaming cup of the brew on the counter, the deputy turned to Jack with no-nonsense eyes. "This is for you, Jack Stewart. Lou's special tea. Go ahead and drink it up."

Jack shifted his eyes between Jimmy and Cody, realizing that they had something up their sleeves they weren't saying. "Thanks, but I'm fine. Nobody but Louise likes it."

"This ain't a request, Jack. Drink it or I'll feel terribly offended."

"Let me tell you something, Jack. It's dangerous to irk Jimmy even for the simplest reasons. He's likely to shoot first, and apologize later."

"I never apologize," Jimmy said, slightly moving the edge of his jacket to reveal his shining colts.

Jack stared at the two men as if they had lost their mind, and he couldn't wait for them to leave. This was totally insane, the weirdest situation he had ever found himself in. Had this Hickok guy threatened to kill him if he didn't drink this darn tea? What kind of friends were they to Louise? Where they really lawmen, or were they simply playing a very strange joke on him? Jack did not want trouble, so without a word he picked up the cup, intending to drink his bitter tea and be done with this mad situation.

"Good thinking," Jimmy said with a smirk. "Drink the tea. I've added double dose of those miraculous herbs."

Jack did not reply, and just as his lips made contact with the china cup, a strong force knocked it down which collided with one of his teeth, which almost cracked from the impact. Jack's hand flew to his mouth and stared at Jimmy in dumbfounded silence, realizing that the long-haired deputy had punched the cup away from his hold. Broken pieces of the ceramic cup spread on the counter, and the tea formed a puddle on its surface, running the length of it and dripping onto the floor. "Are you crazy?" Jack exclaimed loudly. "What the hell is this about? I don't understand a damn thing!"

Cody and Jimmy exchanged a knowing look. It was possible that Jack Stewart had nothing to do with Lou's poisoning; he had been ready to drink the tea without apparent fear. Or would he take the risk because he knew a cup would not be lethal? Cody and Jimmy had no way of knowing what was true, and there were no other leads to follow. They suspected Jack had tried to kill Lou, but if he was not behind this sordid matter, then what now? Cody decided there was just one thing they could do. "Jack, did you know that the tea Lou dutifully drank for her stomach was a deadly composition that is killing her little by little?"

Surprise and shock instantly registered on Jack's face. "What? But that's … that's impossible."

"The doctor in Rock Creek confirmed it," Jimmy added. "Somebody tampered with Lou's tea on purpose, loading it with very dangerous ammunition for her health. She could be dead now if nobody had realized what was happening to her."

"I swear it wasn't me!"

"It was you who brought her the tea," Jimmy reminded him. "And I gather that having an herbalist as an uncle, you know quite a big deal about poisonous flowers, plants, and all that."

"What? No, no!" Jack denied, shaking his head energetically.

"And we know you had more than a friendly interest in her, and didn't react too well when you got to know she was married," Cody added.

"But… but I could never harm Louise, or any woman. Yes, I was hurt because I fell for her, and I fooled myself thinking she might want me one day too. That didn't mean I would wish her ill, or do something against her. You have to believe me! Louise is a good friend above anything else. You have to understand that because you're also her friends!"

Cody and Jimmy shared another look, silently agreeing that this man was telling the truth and was blameless. "Jack, somebody tried to kill her," Cody said. "If it wasn't you, then who? Who could know Lou was the only one who drank this concoction, and more importantly, who could know where she kept it and had access to it?"

"Only her family… Maybe her husband; she started feeling sick when she returned with him."

If looks could kill, Jack would be dead right now. "Leave Kid out of this, understood?" Jimmy snapped angrily. "He has nothing to do with this! Don't even go down that road!"

"I'm sorry. It's just a logical conclusion."

"Not so logical if you really knew Kid," Cody added.

"Then that leaves only Theresa and…"

"We can't count Tessie in this," Jimmy said thoughtfully. "That just leaves us her stiff husband. What about him?"

"I don't know much about Mr. Keller, but I doubt he could do something like that to Louise. As far as I know, he's very fond of her."

"Appearances can be defective," Cody mused.

"I wish I could have something more to tell you," Jack said honestly, but stopped short when he was hit by an idea. "Would it help if you could snoop around their house? Louise keeps a key in the office for emergencies."

Jimmy nodded. "I don't know if it'll help, but we won't know until we have a look."

Jack hurriedly ran to the office to find the key, leaving to the two former Pony Express riders alone. "So stretching the law a bit, Mr. Hickok? Trespassing is a crime, ain't it?"

"This is for Lou," was all Jimmy offered as an explanation. "Are you game or not?"

"Do you have to ask? You know I'll follow you anywhere… to hell itself if necessary."

Cody's teasing words made Jimmy crack for the first time in days. Trust Cody to lift spirits, and he would never let you down. Right now what they really needed was a boost of confidence and optimism, and trust that Lou would get well, and the rotten soul behind this strange plot would finally receive what they deserved.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 42**

There was not even a moon that night, and the clouds that poured continuous rain all evening also covered the stars that should be shining in the sky. The air felt damp, but the rain had given a truce for a few hours. The unsteady weather had emptied Seneca's streets, and tonight not even the regular drunkards could be seen roaming around the saloon or the brothels.

Only two figures broke the emptiness of the night. Jimmy and Cody casually sauntered along the covered walkway, and discreetly kept looking around, making sure that no eyes could spy them from the darkened windows in the surrounding buildings which in appearance looked safe and empty.

When the two friends reached the corner, they slipped into the alley. Jack had also given them the key of the back door to the store. That way it would be easier to access the Kellers' abode without being spotted. Cody unlocked the door, and they sneaked into the building. It was pitch black inside and they could not see beyond the end of their noses. They could not risk lighting a candle, fearing somebody might see the light in the store through its wide windows and raise alarm. Jimmy and Cody felt their way to the staircase, bumping against almost every object in the place.

When they finally started up the stairs and found themselves before the door separating the store from the house, Jimmy rummaged in his jacket pocket for the matches and the candle he had brought along. A loud thump suddenly echoed in the cavernous place, and the two friends almost jumped out of their skin in fright.

"What the hell was that?" Cody exclaimed in a whisper.

Jimmy pretended not to be bothered by the noise. "It must be the wind," Jimmy said non-chalantly.

"What wind?"

"Come on, Cody. Cut the chit chat, and light the damn candle. Let's get done with this so that we can go back to bed."

Cody struck a match and as he brought it to the candle wick, another noise, this time closer, startled then. Almost in unison both men turned around, and as the burning candle cast its light all over the length of the staircase, they finally discovered the source of the sound. "Gosh, Jack! You scared us to death!" Cody exclaimed loudly.

"What the heck are you doing here?" Jimmy asked in a calm fashion.

Wordlessly Jack made his way up the stairs, and stopped a step lower from where the two former riders stood. "I wanna help, and find out who tried to kill Louise."

Jimmy shook his head. "Please Jack, go home, and let us do the job. We don't need your help or anything from you."

"I ain't leaving, and nothing you say will persuade me," Jack replied stubbornly. "I really want to prove to you that I have nothing to do with the poisoning because I'm sure there's still a hint of a doubt about my innocence in this matter."

Jimmy just looked at him, silently conceding that there was still suspicion dangling over the young man's head. Yet, Hickok was not convinced by Jack's arguments to stay, but Cody stepped in, "Let's let him. Otherwise, we'll be arguing about it all night, and time is pressing."

Jimmy shrugged his shoulders in indifference, and turned to unlock the door, which opened into a long corridor. "Mr. Keller's bedroom is the second door on the right," Jack explained as they slowly advanced along the hall. "And his study is downstairs."

"Let's start there then," Cody suggested. "It's unlikely he keeps anything suspicious in the bedroom he shares with Tessie."

The study was a stuffy room, overcrowded with shelves packed with old books, a too big carved table, and several leather armchairs. There was not a single window, and since there was not a single inch of wall uncovered, the suffocating sensation was very palpable. In silence Jimmy and Jack started their search in the desk drawers while Cody had a look at the pile of papers and ledgers on top of the table. "There are just numbers here," Cody said. "Not really surprising. He's an accountant, ain't he?"

"And I know he works in this room quite often," Jack replied, likewise going through a sheaf of invoices and receipts.

"This is nothing, nothing at all!" Jimmy exclaimed. "Maybe we're barking at the wrong tree again."

"Don't look at me," Jack replied, lifting his hands above his head in mock surrender. "I told you. I have nothing to do with this horrible matter."

The three men shared a deflated look, realizing they were no closer to catching whoever had tried killed Lou. "Maybe he's just a sly fox who knows how to hide his tracks."

"He's not stupid, that's certain," Cody added.

As the two other men spoke, Jimmy kept deep in thought as he looked around the study. Cody noticed his friend's pensive mood, and his curiosity perked up. "What's in your mind, Jimmy?"

"I was thinking that if Albert has something to hide, I doubt he would be so careless as to leave proof where anybody can get hold of it. I imagine that Theresa cleans in here." The deputy lifted his hips from the desk where he had been perched, and walked straight to behind the majestic leather chair. There was a small cabinet, and above it there was a still life painting that showed a simple vase of flowers in bright colors. Jimmy removed the picture from the wall, and the three men discovered what was hidden behind it.

"A safe," Cody muttered in a flat tone.

"And here's where we'll find our prize," Jack added with a smile. "If there is a prize."

Jimmy shook his head. "Don't sound so chirpy, Jackie. Now we face a major problem."

"Find the way to open this thing," Cody filled in for his friend.

Jack grinned coyly. "Men of little faith. Please allow me," he said, and with a gentle push, he shoved Jimmy aside, and he repositioned himself in front of the iron safe. Pressing his ear against the cold metal front, he started turning the spinning tumbler. Cody and Jimmy exchanged a look, one amused and the other skeptical. After a couple of minutes, a click sounded in the room, and Jack pulled the safe door open. "Bingo, gentlemen."

Cody smiled in obvious surprise and awe while Jimmy frowned as he said, "But how…?"

"You better not ask," Jack cut off, and Jimmy nodded reluctantly. The deputy then started to take out the contents of the safe. There were a few sheaves of banknotes, a revolver, and some documents that Hickok left on the desk for further examination.

"Who's this Alfred Sanders?" Cody asked as he studied some of the papers on the table. "According to this, he has vast amounts of money in several bank accounts in San Francisco, Sacramento, and some other cities."

"Maybe he's one of his clients," Jimmy ventured.

Jack eyed the papers in Cody's hold, and read the figures. "Nobody in Seneca is so rich," he remarked. "And I doubt Mr. Keller has clients in other towns. He barely leaves the city."

"Forget about Alfred Sanders, and have a look at this," Jimmy said, as he opened the leather folder in his hands for the other two men to read. "You'll be surprised."

As soon as Cody's eyes registered the name written on the first sheet of paper, his bewilderment was evident just like Jimmy had predicted. "Boggs?" he said half way between a question and a stunned exclamation.

"Who's Boggs?" Jack asked.

"Lou's father," Jimmy replied. "He died over ten years ago. He was a despicable criminal, and his wife kept his children from him for a long time, even changing their names to McCloud."

"This is his will," Jack added, running his eyes throughout the document. "There's nothing strange in Albert Keller keeping it in his safe. After all, he's married to Boggs' youngest child."

"Jack, as far as we know, there was never a will," Cody continued. "Lou doesn't talk about her father much, but I know she thinks everything Boggs owned was taken over by the army, and consequently the government."

"According to this, there was… or is something that escaped the army's notice," Jack contradicted him as he read the rest of the pages. "There are several accounts in San Francisco in the name of Carl Staines with, I assume, Boggs' money."

"But how did this will find its way to Albert's safe?" Jimmy asked rhetorically. "I wonder if Theresa and Lou know this document exists."

Nobody could answer those questions, and Jack carried on reading the will. "According to this, in the event of Boggs' death, apart from some provisions left to his wife and daughters, everything else goes to Jeremiah, which would have made him a very rich man."

"Poor Miah is dead, and so is his mother," Cody added.

"Then his children would inherit everything. Yet, since Jeremiah had no offspring, the next beneficiary is Louise, and in her death her children."

"But if she died suddenly and childless…" Cody started as a cold chill ran down her spine.

"The money would go to Theresa and consequently her husband."

The three men remained in silence, trying to digest what this information meant. "Albert has a humungous motive to want Lou dead," Cody spoke up, finally breaking the silence.

"And I imagine that when she turned up with her husband, which was a secret for most people in this city, even Albert Keller, he would probably be afraid that she might conceive a child that could spoil his plans for that alluring wealth," Jack said, almost talking to himself.

"So he had to dispose of the problem as soon as possible," Jimmy concluded.

"But why Lou, and not Kid?" Cody wondered. "It would have been easy to get rid of him."

"If Albert hoped to lay his hands on that money, Lou would have to die sooner or later so that he could have the road unobstructed. So I guess he thought he could tackle the problem from the very root instead of getting himself into a bigger hassle."

Cody nodded, understanding Jimmy's reasoning. "In any case, this really doesn't prove anything, only that he has a very strong reason to benefit from Lou's death."

"Yet, that's true, I'm afraid," Jimmy agreed.

There was a moment's pause, and Jack asked, "Do you think he might be behind Jeremiah's death too?"

Cody and Jimmy exchanged a look, realizing they hadn't thought of that. "It's a possibility," Hickok muttered.

"And now what?" Jack asked, his eyes excited and lively as if he was living the most thrilling experience in his life.

Jimmy snorted derisively, and Cody couldn't conceal an amused smirk. "Look, Jack," Hickok stated not very happily. "What we do or don't do from now on, it ain't none of your darn business. But…" he paused intentionally to fix his brown eyes into the store assistant's grey ones. "But when we ride out of here tomorrow afternoon, you're coming to Rock Creek with us, understood?"

Jack stared at him in confusion, not understanding what Hickok was up to. First, he told him to stay away and now he wanted to have Jack along. The store assistant did not long for anything else more than to join these two men in their quest for the culprit in this matter, but he also had his responsibilities. "I can't leave the store. Louise counts on me."

"I'm sure Lou will understand," Cody added. "You're still on our list as a suspect, and we can't leave you out of our sight."

"But I've proved I have nothing to do with this. I'm willing to help."

"Maybe help yourself to put the blame on others," Jimmy continued. "What we have found in Keller's safe tonight might be fake for all we know. Who can say that before leaving the store you laced this safe with all these documents to frame Keller? After all, you've shown us how easily you can open this thing."

"I swear I…"

"Keep your oaths for those ears that might care. Just make sure you're at the hotel tomorrow afternoon, or we'll hunt you down," Cody said, pointing a menacing finger in his direction. Jimmy had already stuffed his pocket with the documents found in the safe, and both friends simply walked way, leaving a stunned Jack behind, who was cursing the day these two had appeared in his life.

* * *

It was another morning, another day… a long, anguishing day lay ahead, and even at this early hour Kid was already feeling totally exhausted. Last night he had been up until very late, hoping to see some improvement in Lou, but she was still the same after he had done everything Dr. Sullivan had told him to. Kid feared the poison had done too much harm, and now it was too late to bring Lou back to health. The previous night the Southerner had watched her like a hawk, checking every reaction, listening for any sounds coming from her lips, or counting every breath. It had been almost three o'clock that he had finally given in to tiredness, and today all his body was sore and stiff after sleeping on the chair he had crashed in.

Some knocking sounds had woken him up, and he realized they came from the door. "Come in," he called groggily and his eyes automatically shifted to check on Lou, who continued as unresponsive as in the last few weeks.

"Good morning," Ari greeted him as she stepped into the bedroom. "I've brought you some breakfast."

"Thanks," Kid muttered with a small smile. Rising to his feet, he walked to the dresser, poured some water in the wash bowl, and splashed some on his face. After drying himself, he turned to Ari, who had placed the tray with his breakfast on the bedside table. "You shouldn't have bothered. I ain't hungry."

"Kid, you need to eat something."

Without a word, the Southerner shrugged his shoulders in indifference, and just took the cup of coffee from the tray. That would help him get through the day. Yet, the liquid did not taste much like coffee, and left a sharp bitterness in his mouth. The problem was not really the coffee, but his whole body. Since Lou had fallen sick, his body was acting up, and he felt as if it didn't belong to him.

Kid cringed in disgust as he downed the coffee and put the cup down. Ari was right, he mused. He needed to force some food down his stomach if he wanted to be strong for Lou. He just could not falter. So even though he did not have any appetite and felt like gagging, he picked up a flapjack and started nibbling at it. His eyes moved to Ari, who gave him a satisfactory smile, and then they simultaneously turned to Lou.

The flapjack slid off his finger and fell to the floor when he realized that her eyes were open and looking at the ceiling. "Lou!" he called urgently, stooping and stroking her face, eager to let her know he was there with her. Ari had also run to her, and stood framing the other side of the bed.

"Lou!" Kid repeated in a softer tone.

Louise's eyes traveled from the ceiling and gradually lowered, and when Kid's concerned face appeared before her, she tried to smile, but realized she had no energy to even move her lips. "Kid," she breathed in such a soft tone that all Kid saw were her lips mouthing his name.

"How are you feeling, baby?" he asked.

Lou breathed in, trying to muster up some strength if there was any left in her body. "I dunno," she managed to say. "I… I feel hungry, strangely famished."

Ari and Kid shared a smile. "That's good to know," Ari replied. "I'll rustle up something for you. Won't be a moment."

"Thanks, Dana," Lou whispered, this time with a weak smile. As the older woman left the bedroom, Lou lifted her eyes to find Kid's that stared at her unblinkingly. "Where are we, Kid? Are… are we in Fort Kearney?" she asked, feeling totally lost.

It was logical assumption for her to make after seeing Ari here. Kid shook his head. "We're at home… at our old home in Rock Creek just like you asked me. Don't you remember?"

Louise tried to take her mind back to her memories, and multiple overlapping images in a tangled succession came back to her. She remembered the sweet moments she and Kid had shared after their reconciliation, and suddenly, she recalled getting very sick. "How long have I been ill?"

"Three weeks… almost four."

Lou's ragged breathing was her surprised reaction to his revelation. It felt as if it had been just yesterday that she and Kid had arrived in Seneca, and apparently weeks had gone by, and she wasn't even in Seneca anymore. The images that rolled in her mind became clearer and clearer, and she asked, "Kid, am I… am I gonna die? Please tell me the truth."

Kid caressed her tousled hair, and smiled sadly. "For a while I thought I was gonna lose you, but now I'm positive you're gonna get well."

"I feel tired and… and weird," Lou croaked.

"I know, honey."

Lou kept quiet, and stared at him. Her eyes felt heavy, but she stubbornly resisted the strong temptation to give in to sleep. She wanted and needed to keep looking at her husband, and imprint his image in her mind. Despite what Kid had said, she was afraid she might die and leave this earth and Kid forever. These moments were too precious, and she needed to keep awake as long as possible. There was also something else she longed to ask. "Kid, what's wrong with me? Why have I been so sick?"

The question triggered an instant reaction in Kid, and Lou noticed his troubled and distraught countenance straightaway. For a few seconds the Southerner debated with himself what he could tell Lou. She was still unwell, and learning that there was somebody who wanted her dead would not do her good now. "Lou, honey, I promise I'll tell you in good time, and what you now need to worry about is to get well. That's all."

"Kid, what ain't you telling me? You're scaring me."

"Honey, trust me. Nothing's gonna happen to you, but before we have this conversation, you need to get your strength back."

Lou was not convinced, but she did not have the energy to insist. A yawn escaped her control, and she could not resist her tiredness any longer and closed her eyes. "I'm so tired," she muttered again weakly.

"Get some sleep then," he said with a smile, bending over, and pressed a kiss on her hair. "I'll watch over you, and I'll be here when you wake up."

With her eyes closed, Lou stretched her lips into a small smile as she drifted back to sleep. Kid dragged a chair closer, and sat down. Not once did he avert his gaze from Louise. For the first time in weeks his lips shaped into a genuine smile. Now there was hope in his life, and he really believed Lou was going to regain her health. They would overcome another obstacle in their way to happiness, a huge one. Life could be so fragile, and he had learned the hard way not to take Lou and her well-being for granted. Hopefully, this was once again another chance they were given, and Kid swore to himself that he would make the most of it, and live every day as it were the last one. That had been his lesson, and from now on all he cared was to enjoy and be thankful for the blessings his wife was to him.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 43**

"Oh damn!" Kid exclaimed coarsely as the milk boiled over, flowing all over the iron surface of the stove. His first instinct was to get hold of the pan, his hands getting scalded in the process. He let out another curse, and brought his burned fingers into his mouth to somehow soothe the painful sensation pulsating in his sensitive skin.

"Men and cooking… never a safe combination," Ari remarked teasingly as she walked into the kitchen.

Kid had to chuckle at the comment and his own clumsiness while Ari removed the pan from the stove and carefully started wiping away the spilled milk. "I wanted to take Lou some hot milk. She'll probably wake up soon."

"Louise seems much better," Ari said as she rinsed the milk-soaking cloth. "Maybe she's on her way to recovery… you know, doctors often make mistakes."

Kid nodded slowly, and the words left his lips before he was even aware what he was saying. "Lou ain't gonna die. Nobody's gonna hurt her."

Ari stopped her motions and cast a confused look at the young man. "What do you mean by that, boy?"

Kid realized he had talked too much, but he did not regret it. Actually, he was dying to tell Ari the good news. She had been the shoulder to cry on for years, and he didn't feel right hiding this.

"Kid?" Ari urged him when he kept quiet and deep in thought.

The Southerner strode to the door and closed it to avoid the conversation being overheard even though there was nobody else in the house apart from Lou. Kid returned to Ari's side, who was perplexed by the young man's mysterious ways. "Lou's never had cancer."

"Then I'm right, and the doctor made a mistake."

Kid nodded. "Unfortunately, Dr. Hill failed to find out what was making my wife so sick. Poison."

"Poison?" Ari echoed in obvious shock and disbelief.

"Somebody's tried to kill Lou, Ari. The tea she usually took was laced with a very poisonous plant. The doctor here in Rock Creek discovered the real cause of her declining health, and it seems his treatment is really helping my wife. You saw her this morning… awake at last."

"But, Kid, who would want to harm Louise? And why?"

"I ain't sure. Her assistant in the store supplied the herbal tea that she claimed helped her soothe her stomachaches. He was quite upset and outraged when he found out she was married to me. You see, apparently he thought of her as something more than his boss. I don't know if that's enough reason for anybody to wish somebody dead. Jimmy and Cody rode out yesterday to find this man and prove what we suspect."

"Poor Louise. It's unbelievable."

Kid nodded. "For some reason Teaspoon wants to keep hush-hush about this. Only my former fellow riders and I know about it. That's why we kept this from you. Rachel and Theresa don't know either."

"And Theresa's man?"

Kid shook his head. "He's in the dark too, but to be honest, I feel better that way. He's behaved like a pig lately… as if my wife belonged to him, and I don't like his attitude… or him for the matter."

"He's sure an enigmatic gentleman," Ari mused. "And I can't shake off the feeling I've seen him before, but he denies it."

"You mean in Fort Kearney?"

"He claims he's never been there, and you know I never go anywhere else. I wish I could remember. It's silly, but when an idea gets into my head, I can't rest until I haven't solved the puzzle. It drives me crazy." Ari giggled, and added, "In any case, I guess it's not important, but somehow he looked troubled when I told him."

Kid's interest perked up instantly, and an idea crept into his mind. "I just hope for Tessie's sake that what he's hiding ain't a woman on the side. I can't think why else he would deny you seeing him before. Maybe he was where he shouldn't."

"Who knows, Kid? If I could remember, I could tell you."

Kid shook his head as he poured some new fresh milk into a clean pot, and placed it on the stove. "In any case, he's my least worry now. All I want is for Lou to get well, and see the man who tried to kill her brought to justice."

Ari smiled wryly, and patted him on the back. "When are your friends due back?" she asked.

Kid shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno. What I do know is that they won't come back until they had turned every stone. I blindly trust them, and I'm sure they won't let Lou and me down."

* * *

"Do you really have to do that here?" Theresa exclaimed annoyed as she energetically brushed her long, blonde hair. In the reflection of the mirror she could see her husband slumped in a chair and smoking one of his thin cigars. "You know I hate it when the stench clings to my clothes and my skin, and I smell like an ashtray all day."

"Don't start, Theresa," Albert replied, blowing a puff of smoke in her direction. "I know you're nervous, but please don't take it out on me. I also have a right to soothe my nerves whatever way I choose, and a good cigar always does the trick."

His words did not appease Theresa, whose irritation soared by the minute. "You men are so selfish! All you think about is yourselves and nobody else!"

"Theresa…"

"I'm so fed up with your kind!" the young woman continued in a loud voice as she expertly braided her long hair. "You, Kid, and all the rest! A bunch of selfish morons!"

"Stop right there, Theresa," Albert said in an authoritative tone, stubbing out the cigar in an ashtray and rising to his feet. "Don't ever compare me to that cretin! Ever! I'm a real man who knows his place and responsibilities. I'd never do anything to endanger or harm my family. I could never do anything like Kid McCloud who didn't give a damn about his wife for years, and now regardless whether she gets hurt or worse, all he cares about is doing his will."

Albert's furious speech took Theresa by surprise, and she felt she could not stay put. What he was saying was totally unfair, and she had to voice her opinion. "That's going too far, Albert," Theresa said, turning around to face him. "I agree Kid shouldn't have taken Lou away when we expressly told him not to, but I do know he's well-intentioned and loves my sister."

"You're too soft, honey," Albert said, lifting his hand to caress her cheek. The young woman had to suppress a scowl as the tobacco reek clung to his hand reached her nostrils. "You'll soon see your brother-in-law's true colors. I bet that as soon as your sister dies, it won't take him long to find a replacement."

"Albert!"

"What's that face for, honey? I'm just doing what you said last night. You were right. It makes no sense to pretend Louise isn't so sick. It's too sad, but we all know your sister isn't going to make it."

Theresa's eyes welled up. "It's so, so hard," she croaked bitterly.

"I know, my love," Albert whispered, massaging his wife's tense shoulders. "Nobody can do anything for your sister. We can only hope God takes her soul soon because she's just going through unnecessary suffering."

Theresa nodded, and wiped her tears gruffly. Turning around back to the mirror, she finished doing her hair, and washed her face to erase the trails the tears had left on her cheeks. "I'm ready to go now," she said, sniffing, and as she noticed that her husband was still only in his shirt, she added, "Come on, Albert. Grab your jacket, and let's get a move on."

The man shook his head. "I ain't going today."

"Wh… why not?" Theresa asked, totally befuddled.

"What's the use, honey? Me being there won't help your sister."

"But these might be the last days or even minutes we have left with her."

"Theresa, the sick woman lying in that bed isn't Louise, and I refuse to think of your sister as a poor, dying woman. I want to remember her as she always was… lively and cheerful. I'd hate it if my memories of her were smudged by the image of what's left."

"I… I understand that, but I really need to be with her… until the end. It's important to me."

Albert nodded, and planted a feathery kiss on her cheek. Theresa donned her hood and tied the ribbon under her chin. Once Theresa had walked out of the door, Albert took another cigar and lit it. The smoke filling his lungs really relaxed him, and he was glad Theresa was gone to enjoy this petty pleasure of his. As he took a deep puff, there was a knock at the door. "What now?" he groaned irritated, expecting it to be Theresa who had forgotten something. Yet, when he gruffly opened the door, he was surprised to find his father before him.

"Why is your wife going out all by herself?" Dr. Hill asked without preambles, pushing his son out of his way and walking into the room. "And please, put that out. The whole room stinks," he added with a disgusted expression.

Albert quickly stubbed out his new cigar, and said, "What are you doing here, Father?"

"Do you honestly think I'd step aside when we're at a crucial point in this business? We're very close, Albert, and we can't afford mistakes."

The young man knew that his father's veiled criticism was addressed to him, and even though it irritated him to be constantly reminded of his flaws, he did not say anything. "Everything's getting on as it should," he stated firmly.

"You haven't answered my question, son. Why is Teresa going on her own?"

"She wants to go and see her sister… I don't know why because Louise isn't aware what happens around her. She's practically a corpse."

"Cut the short talk," Dr. Hill ordered him roughly. "Why aren't you acting as a dutiful husband? You should be with your wife and in that house! Our whole future depends on what happens there. Don't you understand?"

"I have my reasons to stay away," Albert replied defensively.

"What reasons?"

"I've been recognized," Albert blurted out, and as his father instantly showed a horrified expression on his face, the young man continued, "Louise's husband has some kind of housekeeper. She's now here. I didn't think much of her at first, but it turns out she also knew the McClouds as children. It's Ariadna Giles, Father, and she kept saying I looked familiar to her."

"And what did you say?"

"I kept denying I've ever met her, naturally. I can't understand how she can remember me. It's been twenty years or more."

"You were eleven back then, and still have the same acid face and gawky figure. Ariadna was always a nosy busybody, and very clever for a woman," Dr. Hill spat scornfully.

"What are we gonna do about her?"

"To ensure our safety, the most effective measure would be to get rid of her," Dr. Hill said casually, and at Albert's troubled expression, the physician let out a guffaw before he continued, "That wouldn't be too smart, though. It might raise suspicions, so you better stay clear of that woman. After all, your wife is in the house and will keep us updated."

"I've never wanted anything as much as Louise's death!" Albert exclaimed. "All this waiting's becoming a torture."

Dr. Hill remained impassive after her son's passionate harangue. "How was she yesterday?"

"The same. At death's door," Albert replied spitefully.

"Did the local doctor see her?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know!" Dr. Hill roared angrily. "You don't know! Albert, don't you realize what that would mean to us?"

"She's already more dead than alive. We're safe," the younger man replied casually.

"No, we aren't! There are ways to fight the poison, and if a doctor realizes what's really wrong with Louise McCloud, all our efforts would have been in vain. She's likely to heal if she gets the right treatment; after all, she's proved to be tough, holding on all these weeks."

Albert started to panic. "Louise has to die. She must die!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms to the sky. "We should have used something stronger, like cyanide, and she'd have been dead for weeks by now."

"Alfie, Alfie, could you please stop to think before talking nonsense?"

Albert's baffled eyes darted to his father. "You haven't called me that for ages… since I was fifteen."

Dr. Hill shrugged his shoulders. "It's your real name even though I sometimes forget it, and whenever you start acting like a fool, I have the impression I'm dealing with a child and not a grown-up man." Albert's face hardened at the new poisonous arrow hitting him square in his pride. Dr. Hill ignored his feelings like usual, and added, "What is vital now is to send Louise to the hereafter by any means and as soon as possible."

"But… but how?"

"You'll have to figure that out. You're the only one who has access to her. She's your family… Sneak into that house at night, and press a pillow against her face… shoot her… stab her… just anything, but don't get caught."

"Don't worry, Father. Louise will die… she sure will."


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 44**

His soft voice hovered in the air comfortingly as he read from the book splayed out on his lap. His right hand held hers gently while his left one turned over the pages of the novel once he reached the last line. Lou's eyes were closed, but Kid knew she was awake, listening to every single word he intoned with raptured attention.

If Kid had to define what happiness was, he would choose this very minute to exemplify what it meant to him. Lou and he joined in this simple peaceful moment. Now he was positive that she was going to be fine. She had woken up an hour ago, eaten some broth, and asked Kid to keep her company. The Southerner did not need to be asked twice, and had volunteered to read from the book he had brought for her before she had fallen sick. Fortunately, Louise had not asked him again about her ailment, not even when he had fed her the bitter spoonfuls of medicine that Dr. Sullivan had prescribed her. Lou simply swallowed them without a word, but Kid knew she would try to satisfy her curiosity sooner or later. He would not be able to stall her for too long, and was worried how she would take the news when he finally told her.

The door creaking open diverted his attention, and his voice stopped. "Kid, since I'm here now, you can go," Theresa announced abruptly as she walked into the room. "I'll stay with Louise."

Kid noticed Lou's fingers squeezed his hand more strongly as she heard her sister's voice, clearly expressing she did not want him to go. "I'm fine here," Kid contradicted Theresa. "I ain't leaving Lou."

"Suit yourself then." Theresa was eying Kid with cold interest, and missed her sister's open eyes. The young woman was still angry with her brother-in-law, and somehow everything he did or said now annoyed her beyond reason. "Kid, what the heck are you doing? Reading to Lou? What on earth for?"

"Because I asked him to," Lou's very weak voice replied to her sister's recriminating words.

Theresa's surprise was evident as she turned her eyes to find Lou fully awake and staring at her. For a moment she stood there speechlessly, looking at her sister with big, shocked eyes. "Lou… Louise."

Lou managed to crack a tired smile when Theresa almost threw herself to her and pressed her body and face against hers. "You're awake! You're awake!" the girl exclaimed over and over again like a mantra as tears slid down her face. Pulling away to look at her sister's open eyes again, she wiped her tears with her hand and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"I… I'm not really sure."

Theresa turned to Kid. "Has the doctor seen her?"

"Not today," Kid replied, unsure how much he should tell Theresa. Teaspoon's warning still weighed on his mind, and after confessing to Ari what was wrong with Lou, he thought he had to be wary about how much to reveal. "He's coming later."

The young woman nodded, and directed her eyes back to her sister. Lou met her glance and smiled. Yet, Theresa kept a serious countenance as she grabbed her sister's hand possessively. Fear coursed over her overwhelmingly. In her young life she had heard countless times about people in the throes of death have an almost miraculous recovery just before passing away. Old folks believed that it was a granted chance to say goodbye before parting for the long journey. As the notion struck Theresa, she could not help but be crushed by strong pain. Dr. Hill had clearly stated that Louise would die inevitably, so she could not delude herself into having her hopes up. Thick tears poured from her eyes, and sobs started racking her body.

"Tessie, please, don't cry," Lou said, stroking her sister's hand comfortingly.

"I… I don't want to lose you. I need you!" Theresa wailed. "I need you so much!"

"Lou's gonna be fine, Theresa," Kid stated in a firm voice, unable to be indifferent to the woman's pain. The girl seemed not to have heard him he repeated, "Lou's gonna be fine."

"Wh… what?" Theresa croaked, lifting her wet eyes to him.

"The doctor in Rock Creek is positive," he said, turning his smiling face to his wife. "We need to look after her, and make sure she follows the doctor's instructions, and soon our Lou will be out and about, keeping us on our toes." The tears did not stop trickling profusely from her eyes, but Theresa managed a smile that gradually turned into weak giggles.

"If I weren't so tired, I'd jump to your arms for a well-deserved snuggle, my dear husband."

No sooner had Lou uttered the words that Kid bent over and brushed his lips very slowly and with all the tenderness he was able to show, wordlessly expressing what she meant in his life and how he felt completely alive once again.

Theresa watched the pair with a big smile, even though she wasn't totally sure she could believe her sister was going to be healthy again. Lou now sounded weak, but like the person Theresa knew and loved, and she told herself she should focus on that hope, and wish for the best.

"Oh Albert's going to be so happy when he hears… I can't wait to tell him," Theresa said, smiling from ear to ear as her heart swelled with love and pride. Life was not so bad after all; the black clouds would hopefully disperse, and very soon a blue sky would appear to her eyes, bright and spotless.

* * *

"Don't go thinking I don't know what my wife was up to," Kid suddenly said, looking at Ari sideways. "I know her too well to buy her… her fibs."

Ari grinned in silent admission. "You can't blame her if she cares so much for you."

Kid nodded. "I know, but next time she'll have to come up with something better than that sudden desire she claims she feels for pears."

"I'm sure she could do better if she weren't so tired," Ari continued in a soft voice. Kid's lips pursed in a bitter gesture, and the woman added, "Breathing some fresh air will do you good, Kid. You've hardly left her side for weeks, and she knows you need a break."

"I can barely stand being away from her even for a few minutes," Kid admitted in a soft voice. "I'm still worried… she's been so sick, Ari. I really thought I was gonna lose her."

"I know."

"Just thinking about these past few weeks fills me with utter dread."

"Louise's gonna be fine, Kid. Didn't the doctor say so?" The Southerner nodded, and Ari added, "Come on, boy. Let's go to the store and buy some scrumptious pears that your wife wants so much. The sooner we do it, the sooner you can return to her side."

The pair walked along Rock Creek's main street in companiable silence. Kid wrapped his coat more tightly around his trunk as the cold permeated through his bones. The winter was not far away, and the first snow flakes would soon cover the earth. This year they might enjoy a white Christmas, and even if that did not happen, it did not matter. After so many Christmases apart from Lou and the last scary weeks, this year was going to be perfect. Lou and him together as it should always have been. Kid planned to make it up to her for all those long lost years, and they deserved something good to forget what they had to go through in these last weeks.

Kid's thought stopped as well as his feet when something caught his eye on the other side of the street. His smile froze, and he simply kept staring while his heart thumped strongly in his chest.

"Kid, what's wrong?" Ari asked as she followed the direction of the young man's gaze, which fell on three men on horseback.

Ari's voice snapped him out of his reverie, and momentarily he averted his eyes as he said, "They're back. Cody and Jimmy are back."

* * *

It had been a wild, fast ride limits being pushed as the only perspective in their minds was to reach Rock Creek as soon as possible. They had stopped only when it was strictly necessary, and not even when torrential rain had stumbled upon them, had they been distracted from their aim.

Jack Stewart had ridden alongside them at the same breakneck speed. In Seneca he had been waiting for them at the appointed time and place, and reluctantly Jimmy had to admit that if Jack was actually a murderer, he was doing a heck of a job at faking his personality with this helpful alter ego. The odds were that Jack was no more of a killer than the local minister. Before leaving Seneca, Cody and Jimmy had talked to Jack's uncle, the herbalist, and it was obvious he had nothing to do with Lou's poisoning either.

When the first buildings in Rock Creek appeared in the distance, the three riders felt an overwhelming sensation of relief. The sun hanging low on the horizon announced that the evening was close, and as they finally made their way into town, they found half-empty streets, devoid of the frenetic activity that filled them during the rest of the day. There were a few sluggish citizens who with all probability would eagerly head for the saloon to indulge themselves in the earthly pleasures that it offered.

Dismounting before the marshal's office, Jimmy led the way inside the jailhouse. Teaspoon, spectacles dangling on the bridge of his nose, was reading the newspaper splayed out on his desk. At the sound of heavy steps the marshal lifted his eyes, and folded his arms over his stomach. Jimmy and Cody stood before the desk while Jack lagged behind discreetly.

"How's Lou, Teaspoon?" Jimmy asked right away.

"Better," the marshal replied with a crooked smile. "I dropped by her place earlier, and she was awake and talkin'."

Cody and Jimmy exchanged relieved grins. Even though neither of them had mentioned Louise on the way back, they had both been thinking of nothing else. What good would their findings do if they lost Lou in the end?

"I imagine Kid must be over the moon," Cody remarked.

Teaspoon nodded. "He's still cautious, and I bet he won't completely believe Lou's out of danger until she leaves that bed."

"That's Kid all right," Jimmy added.

There was a second's pause. Teaspoon leaned back on his chair, his hands intertwined over his paunch. His sharp eyes spied the figure lurking behind his two former riders, and he guessed he was the fella who worked for Lou and was suspected to be after this unfortunate business. "So did you find out anythin' in Seneca?"

Jimmy nodded, and moved aside as Jack took a step closer. "Teaspoon, this is Jack Stewart," Cody said.

Teaspoon rose to his feet, and rounded up his desk. Jack stretched his hand to shake the marshal's when suddenly, a strong push made him lose his footing and his body crashed against something. Before he could react, he found himself pinned against the wall, and a couple of fierce hands violently were intent to squeeze the air out of him. When his eyes managed to focus, he found Kid's red, angry face inches from his, silently threatening his wellbeing.

"You bastard!" Kid barked angrily, shaking Jack and pushing him against the wall. "Despicable hyena!"

"Let go of me!" Jack cried, thrashing and using every ounce of his strength to shove him off, but Kid was unstoppable.

"You tried to kill my wife, and you deserve no mercy! I should kill you with my bare hands!"

Cody and Jimmy instantly ran to Jack's rescue, and even in their joint effort it was not easy to restrain Kid. Jimmy circled his arms around his friend's neck whereas Cody strongly yanked his arms. When Kid felt he was being pulled off Jack, he tried to break free as he angrily roared. "Get off me! Get off me!"

Kid's violently thrashing and yanks were almost impossible to resist, and Jimmy managed to say, "Kid, he didn't do it! He didn't do it!"

When Jimmy's voice managed to penetrate the Southerner's foggy mind, his motions stilled and his confused eyes searched for Jimmy's. "He didn't do it?" Kid repeated slowly as if trying to make sense of what his friend was saying. Jimmy nodded, and Kid added, "So then who?"

This time the words came from Teaspoon's mouth. "Why don't we all calm down and let 'em tell us what they know?"

Kid nodded as he tried to get his breath back. Seeing Jack had ignited such a fire inside him that he had been unable to control himself. Like a madman, he had rushed across the street and barged against Jack blindly. Calmer now, he lowered his eyes, bewildered by his own reaction, but he realized this matter was more than he could handle. As Kid turned away from Jack, Ari smiled and patted him on the arm affectionately. For the first time Teaspoon and his riders noticed the woman's presence, and Kid realized what their expressions were hiding. "Whatever you have to say, you can do it in front of Ari. She knows everything."

Teaspoon nodded his assent. "Please, Mrs. Giles, take a seat."

Ari sank down on the chair the marshal pointed at while Kid remained on his feet next to her. Jack had not moved from the wall he had been pinned against before, and remained discreetly there. Jimmy dropped his saddlebags on Teaspoon desk, and took out the folder and other documents he had stolen from Albert's safe. Cody opened the folder in which Boggs' will was and Kid and Teaspoon studied the document. After a while, they looked up, visibly surprised.

"This means Lou's about to inherit good money," Teaspoon muttered reflexively.

"It makes sense," Ari stepped in. Kid had passed her the will and the woman ran her eyes through it. "Boggs was a very clever man, and despite everything, he was very proud of his family. I guess he loved them in his particular way. I always thought it strange that he didn't try to provide for his children after his death."

"You used to know Boggs, Mrs. Giles?" Teaspoon asked with evident curiosity.

Ari nodded. "Unfortunately, I did also see what kind of man he was. Mary Louise, his wife and Louise's mother, went through hell with him. At least, he did a decent thing before dying… leaving his children his money."

There was a silence pregnant with dread and anxiety as everybody in the room kept deep in thought. "What you're trying to tell us is that somebody tried to kill Lou for this money?" Kid asked, unsure of what this meant.

"Kid, we found the will in Albert's safe," Cody said.

"And if Lou, God forbid, died, Theresa would be the only heir. That money would be hers, and consequently her husband's," Jimmy filled in where his friend had left off.

At the implications behind their words Kid started running his fingers through his hair repeatedly, and his feet were unable to keep still. "Albert? I… I don't know."

"It makes sense, Kid," Jimmy continued. "He has a very powerful reason and the opportunity."

"I grant you that, son, but this paper doesn't really prove he tried to kill Lou."

"Teaspoon!" Jimmy exclaimed, annoyed even though he had already thought the same. "Who else could poison Lou if not him? Theresa is out of the question, and I very much doubt she knows this will even exists. She wouldn't be part of a malicious scheme. What we need to do now is to push him to speak up. I'm sure he was behind Jeremiah's death too! If we break him, he'll confess."

"If he keeps denyin' everythin', we'll have lost him!" Teaspoon contradicted him. "We need somethin' more definite."

Silence ensued, and then Ari said, "I wonder how he got hold of this will when Boggs' children had no idea of its existence."

"I wonder the same," Cody muttered.

Kid remained silent, trying to digest what he had just learned. Nothing made much sense. If accepting that Lou was the victim of intentional poisoning had been a real internal battle, this was not easier. How could he believe that wimp Albert was behind this malevolent campaign? Kid had never liked or even trusted Albert, but thinking that he was a murderer was going too far. Albert was family, and Kid knew Lou was very fond of him. How could he do anything to harm her?

"Did … did you find out anything else?" Kid asked in a stunned stutter.

"Not really. There was some more paperwork in his safe… well-fed accounts in several cities. We just think it must belong to one of Albert's clients."

Teaspoon took the documents from Jimmy, and whistled appreciatively at the figures imprinted on the smooth paper. "This is probably nothin', or maybe our man is simply involved in some other shady business with this…" Teaspoon paused, put on his spectacles, and read the name, "Alfred Sanders."

"Sanders… Sanders," Ari whispered, the name rolling easily on her tongue as memories rushed back to her. "Oh God!"

All the men turned to look at the woman who kept wriggling her hands nervously and lifted her wide eyes to Kid. Ari could sense the question in the men's stare, and she said, "Albert… I now know why he looks so familiar. Of course Sanders! How didn't I remember before? It wasn't in Fort Kearney I knew him from. It was years ago when he was still a child. That name… Sanders just hit me like a revelation."

"Who's Alfred Sanders, Mrs. Giles?" Teaspoon asked.

"It's him… Albert," Ari replied.

The men exchanged curious, cautious looks before Kid spoke up. "Are you sure, Ari?"

The woman nodded confidently. "I never forget a face, and even though many years have passed, I know it's him. I don't know why he goes by Albert Keller now, but his name is Sanders, Alfred Sanders." She paused to catch her breath, and as she noticed the disbelief in the men's gazes, she added, "His father… we learned later, had dealings with Louise's father."

The words had an instant reaction, and the men's curiosity perked up at once. "You mean Boggs and …uh… Albert's father?"

Ari nodded, and Jimmy questioned further. "Who was this man… Albert… Alfred's father?"

"He was the doctor… came to town when Dr. Bailey retired. Dr. Sanders was young, respectable-looking, and reliable. Everybody felt sorry for him and his young boy, you know, a widower and an orphan without a woman in their lives… that's enough reason to inspire people's compassion."

"How did Boggs get involved with the doctor?" Teaspoon asked.

"I don't really know. Dr. Sanders was ambitious, and I imagine a doctor's wages weren't enough for him," Ari explained. "I remember Mary Louise telling me about the suspicious growing friendship between her husband and Dr. Sanders. She didn't let on much, and not long afterwards Mary fled with her children and I didn't see her again."

"And Boggs?" Cody asked.

"Unfortunately, I did see him again," Ari muttered, remembering the unfortunate subsequent encounter with Boggs as the man believed she had helped Mary Louise in her flit. Naturally, he was right, but Ari had not let him intimidate her, and Boggs had eventually given in. "A couple of months after that he sold the house where Mary Louise and the children lived, and he was never seen anymore. But what is interesting is what happened to Dr. Sanders."

"What was that?" Teaspoon asked.

"He was sent to jail. The territorial marshal arrested him, and it was such a commotion in town. He was accused of assault and some other money matters. The whole town was there to watch the trial, and he kept denying the charges, and accusing Boggs. I suspect he felt betrayed. Anyway, in the end he was sentenced to serve five years in jail."

"What happened to his son?" Jimmy asked.

"I don't know… I imagine he was sent to an orphanage. The boy didn't have anybody else," Ari replied.

Kid had listened to the woman's account unblinkingly, and suddenly, an idea crept into his mind. "What was Dr. Sanders like?" he asked.

"A normal fella. Tall, slender, black-haired, bespectacled… I remember he had this strange habit of massaging the bridge of his nose as he was tired all the time."

Kid stiffened as a clear image came to his mind doubtlessly. "It's Dr. Hill," he whispered and suddenly, he remembered that time when he had spied Albert and the physician in a suspicious attitude, or how Dr. Hill had insisted on Lou taking her tea. It was that doctor who had made a mistake in his diagnosis, but now Kid realized that it might not be a mistake after. "Dr. Hill… he's the doctor in Seneca. He and Albert were in this together… Oh God!"

Before anybody could react, Kid turned on his heel and dashed for the door. Yet, Jimmy intercepted and grabbed him by the arm to stop him. "Where are you going, Kid?" Teaspoon said in a disapproving tone. "I told you; we have to calm down."

"When we left, Albert had just arrived. Teaspoon, my wife's in danger if that man is around her, especially when he realizes she's getting better."

As soon as Kid stopped, Teaspoon grabbed his belt from the peg behind him, and said, "Come on, boys. Let's go."


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 45**

His thumping heart was the only sound reverberating in his ears as Kid shot out of Teaspoon's office. There was one single idea in his mind: getting to Lou as fast as possible. Sheer fear shook him overwhelmingly as he stumbled and almost tripped when he jumped off the walkway onto the dusty street.

Kid wanted to believe that he had nothing to fear. Albert would not dare to harm Lou when his own wife was around. Theresa would never allow anybody to hurt her sister. Lou was safe. Yet, Kid did not want that weasel near his wife.

His legs could not move fast enough, and his house felt as if it were farther than ever. Kid could hear his friends' running steps behind him, and he briefly thought they must be a peculiar sight to passers-by, all sprinting along the street like mad men. The Southerner was out of breath and his chest and legs ached from forcing himself to go faster than he was able to, but he could not stop. Lou needed him, and he could feel her calling so strongly that his ears rang.

Suddenly, he noticed a woman in the middle of the street, looking in his direction with a bemused expression. It took Kid a few seconds to realize that the woman was Theresa. His steps gradually slowed down until he stopped in front of his sister-in-law. The young woman was grinning, and Kid tried to speak and ask her what she was doing outside, but he hardly had any air in his lungs to utter a single sound.

"What's wrong, Kid?" Theresa asked in an amused voice as she eyed the other men hightailing after her brother-in-law. "That's the way you men entertain yourselves now? Racing each other?"

Even though still out of breath, Kid finally managed to find his voice. "Tessie, what are you doing here?"

"I forgot something at the hotel, and I thought of getting it," the woman replied. Actually, Albert had asked her to go and bring him his pipe, and even though she had refused at first, she had eventually relented. Theresa was not sure why she had not been straight with Kid, but somehow she did not want him and his friends to think she was nothing but a docile little wife.

"And you left Lou alone!" Kid exclaimed a bit too harshly.

The tone of his voice did not sit well with Theresa. The young woman folded her arms in a defensive fashion, and tilting up her chin proudly, she said, "For your information, she ain't alone! She's with my husband! You fool!"

Color drained from his face, and panic seized his whole body. "Oh God!" he exclaimed, and without offering an explanation, he bolted away as fast as he had been running before.

"What on earth is the matter with him?" Theresa exclaimed, gesticulating exaggeratedly.

Jimmy and Cody exchanged worried looks, fully aware that when the truth came out in the open, Theresa would suffer a terrible shock and bitter disappointment.

"Kid's gone through a dreadful ordeal, and he's still havin' it rough," Teaspoon said in a low voice.

"He seems to think he only has a right to hurt, Teaspoon. Louise is my sister, my only living relative, and I've also suffered too much."

"I… I know," the marshal muttered.

"Teaspoon, we need to go after Kid," Cody broke in, and the marshal nodded.

Theresa eyed the three men warily, feeling there was something they weren't saying. "What's happening here? I know you're hiding something," she asked in a demanding tone.

Teaspoon patted the young woman on the arm affectionately. "All in good time, honey," he said, and when Theresa stared at him uncomprehendingly, the marshal shook his head and followed his two former riders, leaving a totally befuddled Theresa on the spot.

* * *

Two soft knocks were heard in the silence of the room before the door opened tentatively. Propped up on the pillows Theresa had accommodated under her back, Lou smiled as she caught sight of the person walking in. "Albert, I was wondering when you'd come to say hello. Theresa told me you were here, and I got to think you were hiding from me."

Albert plastered a fake smile on his lips. "Whoever wants to hide from someone as lovely as you must be a damn fool." He paused for a second, and added, "I'm really glad you're feeling better… You actually look much better and have some of your color back."

Lou nodded, and noticing the steaming cup Albert was holding, she asked, "Is that for me?"

Albert looked at the brown liquid trembling inside the cup, and his eyes shone in anticipation. "I thought you'd want something hot to drink."

"Thanks. You just read my mind," she replied, not noticing the intense look Albert threw in her direction. Nausea had become her constant companion since she had woken up, and after throwing up a couple of times that morning, a sour taste reigned in her mouth, and she needed something to wash away that terrible flavor.

Albert left the cup on her bedside table and stood next to the bed. "Has the doctor been here to see you?" he asked, his figure hovering over Louise imposingly.

"Yes, he was here a couple of hours ago."

"What did he say?"

Lou made a gesture of indifference. "He told Kid I should continue with the treatment, and I'd probably feel much better by the end of the week."

"What treatment, Louise?"

"I ain't sure. Kid's been secretive about it, and I'm too tired and drained to care. All I want is to get well, so I'll just take whatever he wants me to." Lou looked up and noticed his set jaw and shining eyes. "Are you all right, Albert?"

The man stretched his thin lips, attempting a smile. "Just fine, Louise. I'm still worried. You gave us quite a scare."

Lou smiled. "You're sweet, Al."

The man looked away and stared at the smoking cup on the bedside table. "Aren't you going to drink your tea?"

"Uh yes," Lou replied. Her arm reached for the cup, but when her fingers grabbed the handle and tried to lift it, the cup trembled in her hold and some of the liquid spilled on her hand and the quilt.

"Let me help you," Albert offered and took the cup from Louise. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he brought the tea closer to her lips.

Louise took a tiny sip, and pulled away, cringing as the tea made contact with her tongue. "It has a weird taste… uh… like bitter almonds."

Albert did not show any emotion on his face as he said, "I couldn't find the concoction you normally drink. I just found this tisane in your kitchen."

The man brought the cup to her lips again, but Louise moved her face away. "Thanks, Al, but I don't like it."

Her refusal took him off guard since he had not counted on Lou refusing the drink. This might be his only chance to have Louise unaccompanied, and he couldn't fail. "Come on, Louise. This will do you good. You need to warm your insides, and…"

"I already had some food," Lou cut him off, and pushed away the cup that Albert held too close to her mouth.

"Stop being difficult, Louise," Albert said in a patronizing way. "You know I just want the best for you, and I'll feel offended if you turn away the tea I so fondly prepared for you."

Lou did not protest because she knew reasoning with her brother-in-law was impossible. So she better get it over with, and he would leave her alone then. In his eagerness for her to drink, Albert strongly forced the tea into her mouth, hitting the edge of the china cup against one of her front teeth. "Hey!" Lou exclaimed, bringing her hand to touch her sore tooth. "That hurt!"

"I… I'm sorry. How clumsy of me. Come on. Be good and drink it up… don't leave a single drop."

This time in a gentler way, he rested the cup against her lips again, and just when the liquid touched her mouth, some noises reached her ears. Lou pressed her hand against Albert's chest and pushed him away. "What's that? Can you hear it?"

Albert was getting annoyed by all her interruptions, and his irritation easily escaped his control "I don't know, and I don't care!" he barked, and his free hand circled around her right arm, his nails digging into her flesh. "Just drink the damn tea!"

"You're hurting me, Albert!" Lou protested, squirming in his hold as she tried to break free, but Albert would not loosen his grip and forced the cup against his lips again. "Albert, stop it! Stop it!" Lou cried out, tossing her head to and fro, which made some of the tea spilled all over the front of her nightgown.

The bedroom door suddenly burst open, and Kid found his wife fighting Albert. The Southerner drew his gun and pointed at the man threateningly. "Steer clear of my wife!" Kid roared angrily, startling Albert and Louise who had not noticed his presence. "Now!"

Strangely with a calm demeanor, the man left the cup on the bedside table and rose to his feet. "What the hell was that, Albert?" Louise demanded to know, sounding stronger than she actually was. "Are you crazy?"

Albert did not say anything, but Kid still kept pointing his gun at him. "Raise your hands above your head, Keller! I have half-mind in blowing your brains out right now!"

"Kid!" Lou exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

Heavy steps resounded in the house, echoing as they dashed up the stairs, and just as Lou demanded an explanation from her husband once again, Teaspoon, Jimmy, and Cody stormed into the room, the three men brandishing their guns. Lou stared at them uncomprehendingly, and she tried once again, "Kid?"

Now that the others were there, Kid lowered and sheathed his revolver. "Everything's fine, Lou. Please don't worry."

His disregarding words managed to irritate her. "Don't give me that, and stop treating me like a fool!" she croaked angrily. "You barge in here, threatening to kill Albert, and you still keep giving me the cold shoulder!"

Kid took a deep breath, unsure how to deal with his wife, but knowing there was no way he could conceal the truth from her any longer. Before he could utter a single sound, Teaspoon asked, "Is everythin' all right here?"

"He… he was forcing Lou to drink from that cup," Kid said, the fury obvious in his trembling voice.

Teaspoon grabbed the cup, smelled the tea, and had a sip. "Did you drink any of this, honey?"

Louise was taken aback by the seriousness in Teaspoon's expression. Actually, everybody was acting very strangely today, and she did not understand what was going on. It was obvious that in the weeks she had been sick, something weird had happened, and she had a right to know about it. "Uh… no, just a sip," she replied hesitating. "What… what's wrong, Teaspoon? Please tell me because you're all scaring me."

Teaspoon shifted his eyes to Kid, who nodded his permission at his silent question. "Bitter almonds…" Teaspoon started slowly. "That tea tastes like bitter almonds."

"Yes," Lou confirmed. "So what? What's all this fuss?"

The marshal took a deep breath. "It's cyanide… that tea is loaded with cyanide. That's why it has that flavor."

"Wh… what? I don't understand," Lou whispered, lifting her eyes to Albert, who looked blankly at the wall opposite him.

"Why don't you tell her, bastard?" Kid barked, giving him a hard push, but Albert did not react, and instead he acted as if he was not in the room at all.

"Lou, your brother-in-law has been feeding you a deadly poison for weeks. That's why you were so sick. You could have died," Jimmy explained.

"And since that didn't kill you, he's now tried something stronger and more effective," Cody took on where his friend had left off. "Cyanide. That would have killed you for sure."

Lou's hand flew to her mouth and a shocked gasp escaped her lips. Her horror-stricken eyes lifted to Albert, and in a trembling voice she muttered, "That… can't be possible. Albert, that ain't true, is it? Please tell me that ain't true."

"Of course it's not true!" the man finally reacted. "They're making all that up because they envy me! You know I could never hurt you, Louise."

Kid clenched his teeth, almost feeling sick to his stomach, just by hearing Albert lying so cynically. "Why don't you tell her how her father's will was in your safe? Why don't you explain that with Jeremiah and her out of the way Theresa, your wife, and consequently you would inherit a small, coveted fortune? Why don't you make her understand why you go by Albert Keller when your real name is Alfred Sanders?"

Louise shook her head, and her hand rubbed her forehead as she was feeling the pulse in her temples throbbing painfully. "I… I don't understand," she whispered in a tiny voice.

"Sanders, don't you think it's high time you fessed up," Jimmy stepped in, not moving his gun which was kept directed to the young man. "The game's over, and you'll be done as soon as a doctor confirms that what there's in that cup of tea is cyanide."

Albert's legs buckled and he heavily sank down on a chair. This was his worst nightmare coming true. "I… I'm… I'm sorry," he stuttered, keeping his eyes downcast as he was unable to face anybody's accusing gaze. "This… this shouldn't be happening. Things should be different."

"Different?" Kid echoed spitefully. "Different in what way? You mean my wife should already be dead? Huh?"

"No!" Albert exclaimed, meeting the Southerner's eyes, and as his blue eyes looked as if he wanted to kill him, Albert was instantly overwhelmed by sheer fury. "This is all your fault! You're the only one who's responsible for this mess! Nobody but you!" Albert barked, pointing a menacing finger in Kid's direction.

"What the hell are you raving about?" Jimmy exclaimed.

Without averting his eyes, Albert jumped to his feet and carried on, "Louise was supposed to have no husband! You… you alone made this happen. This shouldn't be taking place!"

Kid shook his head, shocked and in disbelief as he heard Albert. How did he have the nerve to put the blame on him? Kid was pushing the limits of his patience and self-control more than it was possible, and he was too close to losing the last ounce of restraint in his will. His feet took an impulsive step toward Albert, but he stopped when he felt a hand in his. Kid instantly knew it was Lou's, and he turned his gaze at her. Louise stared at him with shocked, frightened eyes, silently begging him to stay put. At once, Kid forgot about his thirst for retaliation. Lou needed him, so he sank down on the bed next to her, and wrapped his arm around her, letting her know he was there for her.

"Sanders," Teaspoon conjectured. "Stop all that gab. We're done with your lies. We know way more than you imagine." Albert looked at the marshal with skeptical eyes, and Teaspoon added, "We know you ain't alone in this morbid business." The marshal paused to think about the right words to use before carrying on. "Whose idea was it to use poison against Louise? Was it yours… or Dr. Hill's… your father?"

Albert met his eyes, but did not seem ready to talk. "You better spill the beans," Cody broke in. "You've lost, Sanders, and there's no way you can escape."

Albert still kept quite, and after a few seconds he hung his head and said in a low voice. "Yes, it… it… it was my father's idea. He … said we couldn't wait."

"Why not?" Teaspoon asked.

"Louise announced her plans to go away with her husband, so that meant we had to act fast."

"You mean killing her," Teaspoon said, and Albert nodded reluctantly. "Was that in your plans all along?"

Albert shook his head. "Not initially. When she first came along and we realized who she was, I… I was supposed to seduce her… get her to marry me."

"And naturally, even though you didn't know, she was already married, and wouldn't let you drag her to that game," Teaspoon muttered, meeting Lou's eyes. The young woman's face was flustered, obviously shocked and appalled by what she was learning today, but the marshal was sure she wouldn't want to miss any bit of the truth.

"And… well, her sister was more receptive to my …uh charms."

"So you decided to try your hand on young Theresa instead."

"Yes."

"Louise, though, was still in the way to your plans, and had to be done away."

"Yes."

A loud sob resounded in the bedroom, and as all eyes moved in the direction the wail had come from, they noticed Theresa standing at the door. Angry, shocked tears rolled down her face, and her fiery eyes stared at her husband dangerously. Nobody knew how much the young woman had heard, but it was obvious she had heard enough. "How could you? How could you?" she wailed, and overwhelmed by the suffocating pain she was feeling, she swirled around and bolted away.

In an impulse, Louise made an attempt to go after her sister and leave her bed, but Kid held her back. "Don't even think about it. You're still not well."

Before Lou could protest, Jimmy said, "Don't worry, Lou. I'll go and see that she's fine."

As Jimmy left the room, Lou sighed and rested her head on the pillow tiredly. Kid squeezed her shoulders and she cast a black look in Albert's direction. Yet, he never saw her since his eyes remained lowered. Louise knew that after this nothing would be the same. She had never felt so hurt and disappointed in her whole life, and Theresa must surely be feeling twice as bad. Teaspoon's voice started again questioning Albert, and Lou wished she could be deaf to their words, but at the same time she longed to know… she wanted to know everything.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 46**

Louise was feeling very tired, and for a second she closed her eyes. Her left hand spontaneously moved and reached for Kid. She rested her fingers on his thigh and gave it an affectionate squeeze. Today was proving to be unbearable, and she needed to feel Kid by her side. Over the years Louise had gone through very harsh moments, especially when she had lost those dear to her, but the desolation and powerlessness she had now been left with could not be compared to anything she had felt before.

Teaspoon's voice started again, and Louise opened her eyes. She threw a glimpse at Kid, whose blue glance was focused on the men in the bedroom. The cold shine in his eyes and his tightly-pressed lips told Lou about the battle he was fighting inside. Kid was very transparent in his feelings, and most times Louise could foresee what he intended without him opening his mouth to talk.

"What happened with young Jeremiah?"

Teaspoon's question captured Lou's complete attention, and her heart started pounding as she expectantly dreaded her brother-in-law's answer.

Albert shook his head. "I had nothing to do with his death."

"Then who?" the marshal asked, and when Albert kept quiet, Teaspoon added, "Was it your father who killed him then?"

Albert shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't see him do it."

"But you smoothed the way for him, didn't you?" Teaspoon insisted. After his long talks with Lou and the sheriff in Seneca, he was familiar with every single detail of the circumstances under which Jeremiah had been murdered. "Who was Miah supposed to meet that night? Who persuaded him to keep that nightly rendezvous a secret? We all know that young Jeremiah usually didn't go out when the sun set, and if he did, he always told his sister where he went. Who could snare him out of his home that night? Only someone who knew him well enough, for example, his brother-in-law."

Albert averted his eyes, confirming what Teaspoon was hinting at, and Louise could not hold back her tongue this time. "You scum! You killed my baby brother! We trusted you… we welcomed you to our family with open arms! We loved you!"

"I didn't kill him, Louise."

"Don't you dare call my name, you snake! My brother was a wonderful young man, full of life, and you destroyed him! No matter who held the knife that killed him, it was also your doing!" Lou roared with more passion than she had the energy to gather, and tears started springing up to her eyes.

"Sweetheart, why don't you calm down?" the marshal said. "Gettin' this upset can't be good for your health."

"Teaspoon, maybe you should continue your questioning somewhere else," Kid suggested, agreeing that Lou did not need this hassle right now.

"No! Please! I need to listen to everything he has to say! I deserve to know the truth first-hand! I'll behave, I promise."

Teaspoon met Kid's eyes, and the Southerner nodded his head in assent. Louise noticed the exchange, and breathed out. Despite her protests and begging, she knew Teaspoon could take Albert somewhere else whether she wanted or not, and then she could do nothing about it.

Tired of the gun's weight in his hand, the marshal left it on the dresser, folded his arms, and turned around towards Albert again. "Why was Boggs' will in your safe?" Teaspoon blurted out, changing the direction suddenly.

"We… we thought it needed to be kept in a safe place," Albert muttered. "The will was too important to be left anywhere else, and there's nothing suitable for that in my… in the doctor's office."

"How did your father get hold of Boggs' will in the first place?" Cody asked this time.

"He didn't steal it if that's what you're implying!" Albert exclaimed, perceiving Cody's question as an accusation. "Years ago when Boggs was still alive, he and my father did business together. Apparently, Boggs trusted my father more than his usual thugs, so he confided his will to him. Boggs made my father promise he'd look for his children, especially his son, and make sure they received what rightly belonged to them."

"But your father never fulfilled his promise," Cody remarked.

"How could he?" Albert said in a loud tone. "Boggs betrayed him, and because of him, my father was jailed and I had to grow up in an orphanage!"

"You weren't the only one, Albert!" Lou suddenly broke in. "You know, my siblings and I didn't have an easy childhood, and we didn't grow up in a palace!"

"We didn't know that until destiny brought the three of you to us. By then it was already too late."

"Too late?" Teaspoon echoed questioningly. "What do you mean it was too late?" Albert kept quiet, and the marshal ran out of patience. "Sanders!"

With a sigh Albert reluctantly carried on. "By the time Louise and her siblings showed up, Boggs' money was… wasn't completely intact."

"How so?

"After jail, my father was quite hard-up, and making ends meet was almost impossible," Albert explained. "That will worth thousands of dollars was in his possession, and he barely had a penny to his name. So he came up with an idea that would make it possible for us to lay hands on that money. Nobody knew who Jeremiah was, what he looked like, how old he was, so…"

"You impersonated him," Cody finished the thought for him, and Albert nodded reluctantly.

"What happened then?"

"We transferred some of the money to different accounts. It was then we changed our names, and moved around the country quite a lot. After a while, we settled in Seneca where my father was hired. Nobody knew we were related, and we kept it like that as a precaution. In Seneca we bought a couple of properties and some land. We lived quite comfortably even though we didn't dare to use all the money in the will."

"And then the McClouds turned up," Teaspoon pointed out.

Albert turned his eyes to Lou, and said, "If you hadn't shown up at my door, your brother would still be alive today."

Lou's face drained and her whole body stiffened. Albert's words naturally did not sit well with Kid, who barked angrily, "Don't you dare put the blame on my wife! Only you did this! Stop making others feel guilty when it's just your doing!"

Albert snorted disdainfully, ignoring Kid's angry speech and turning his attention back to Teaspoon. "I panicked, but my father convinced me that their showing up was a stroke of good luck because we could now find a way to make all that money legally ours. I wasn't sure I liked his idea of… of getting rid of our… our obstacles. When I married Theresa, we didn't mention our previous plans again. We still had access to the money, and murder was too big a risk. Yet, something unexpected happened."

"What was that?" Teaspoon urged him.

"One year after my wedding, Jeremiah approached me. He had received a strange letter from a lawyer in San Francisco, regarding some unspecified matter of his late father. At once, I knew who the lawyer was and what he might want to talk to Jeremiah about. I'm not sure how he found out the real Jeremiah's address, but the fact was that he did. I started to panic, and that day we decided Jeremiah had to disappear."

Lou's body shook as she heard Albert talk so casually about her brother's life, and she had to make an almost supernatural effort not to shed the tears that strongly pushed behind her eyelids. Noticing her tremble, Kid steeled his hold around her thin frame, and placed a soft kiss on her temple.

Now that Albert had opened Pandora's Box, he gradually felt more and more relaxed, and his words came out easily. "Jeremiah didn't want to tell his sisters about the letter because they always got upset about anything related to their father. That was my luck. I told him that somebody from my office happened to know quite a few lawyers in San Francisco, and he might want to check with my… my colleague that the letter was genuine and the lawyer was trustworthy."

"And that was why he went out that night… to meet your supposed colleague, but he only met his death," Teaspoon stated in a grim tone of voice.

Albert did not comment on the marshal's words, but continued his account. "I was worried Louise would get another letter from that damn lawyer. So I persuaded Theresa to ask her sister to come live with us after Jeremiah's death. That was quite easily done, and that way I could control the mail Jeremiah still received and hers as well. Actually, I intercepted three letters from that nuisance of a lawyer." Albert stopped to catch his breath for a second. "After killing Jeremiah, we knew the path was now open, and Louise was up next. Naturally, we couldn't do it so close to Jeremiah's death. We'd wait for a year or so, but naturally her husband and their plans pushed us to act."

"And what then?" Kid spoke up, unable to keep quiet. "Was Theresa your next victim, or did you plan to run away on her when the money was finally yours?"

Albert shook his head. "Theresa's my wife, and we have a nice home. Why would I want to leave her? I've really grown quite fond of her over the years, and she's a pretty good wife."

Teaspoon noticed Lou's face red with total indignation. If Kid was not holding her, she would already have jumped off the bed and lunged against Albert mercilessly. The marshal tried to redirect the conversation to other matters. "Where's your father, Sanders? Is he still in Seneca?"

Albert sat down and slumped on the chair. His right leg folded on his left one in a too casual way. "I don't know. I'm not his guardian."

"Damn it! If you don't…" Cody exclaimed, angry and frustrated by the man's attitude, but Teaspoon cut him off.

"Cody, Cody, Cody," the marshal said in a too calmed tone. "You can't lose your temper over this. It's understandable that a man wants to protect his father and sacrifice himself for him. Sanders here is right to do so. His father promised him wealth and a carefree life, and if that turned out quite differently, who's to blame? If Sanders has to face his destiny alone, then let it be."

Albert snorted. "I know what you're trying, but that won't work with me."

Teaspoon came closer, and stopped at a few inches, his figure hovering over Albert's threateningly. "Look, sonny. You're already doomed, so erase that haughty smile off your damn face. With or without your help, we'll catch your father and if we don't, that will mean little to your case. You're as good as dead."

A shiver ran down Albert's spine, and suddenly, he came face to face with the dismal destine awaiting him. His whole body started trembling, and he felt a strong urge to cry. His scared eyes lifted to the marshal, and in a soft voice he muttered, "He's here in this town… I don't know where."

As soon as Teaspoon heard him, he said, "Cody, take this poor excuse to the jailhouse, and then find buck. We have another weasel to hunt."

* * *

Her eyes unblinkingly strained to see what was happening in the street. Her knuckles were white as tension built up within her. A group of curious citizens had gathered in front of the hotel, and after a while the continuous rumor of their voices stopped at once and their attention shifted in the same direction simultaneously.

Theresa leaned forward, almost pressing her face against the window pane. A few seconds later she could see Teaspoon step from under the wooden canopy sheltering the hotel entrance. While demanding the small crowd to move, he shouldered them out of his way. Behind him came Cody and Buck, flanking Dr. Hill. The physician, shackles around his wrists, walked with eyes downcast, and from her position Theresa could hardly make out the expression of his face.

Sighing, the young woman let the lace curtain drop, blocking her view of the world outside. "He's been arrested," she muttered very softly.

"Fortunately, this nightmare will be over soon," said Jimmy, who was sitting on the only chair in the hotel room. After learning about her husband's part in her sister's decaying condition, Theresa had been inconsolable. Jimmy had escorted her to the hotel where she had sobbed uncontrollably. No words had been spoken, not even when she had seen her husband being dragged to the marshal's office. Theresa had just stood there, by the window, silently crying, and Jimmy had felt he had no comfort to offer.

At Jimmy's comment, Theresa turned to him and shook her head. Her eyes were puffy and swollen, but there were no tears in them for the first time that afternoon. "My nightmare starts now, Jimmy," Theresa let out in a deep sigh and walked closer to her friend. "I feel so sad and angry at the same time, but somehow I still don't know how I really feel about all this."

Jimmy nodded with slow, bobbing motions. "It's understandable, Tessie."

"Has my life in the last four years been nothing but a lie, Jimmy?" the young woman exclaimed loudly. "I thought I was happy. I thought I had everything I could wish. I thought my husband loved me. Now it turns out I've been married to a complete stranger whose name I don't even know! A snake that sneaked into my family with the worst intentions because I was stupid enough to fall for his lies and marry him!"

Hickok rose to his feet and came to stand before the young distressed woman. "Tessie, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself," he said, squeezing her shoulder fondly. "You're a great person with a golden heart. What's happened ain't your fault, honey. There are too many despicable men out there, and you were just unlucky to stumble upon one of them."

"How did I never suspect a thing?" Theresa kept asking. "I've shared my bed with him for the last two years, and I never suspected he had some other ulterior motives."

"Nobody did, honey. Not your sister, and not even Kid when your… when Albert was poisoning his wife under his very nose."

Theresa brushed her hand over her tired face. "Thankfully, Kid had the brilliant idea of bringing Louise here and away from us. Otherwise, she'd be dead now. No wonder Albert got so nervous and almost threw a tantrum when he found them gone," she muttered.

"For once Kid managed to squeeze a good idea out of his dry brain. That was a one-time thing, but don't expect that to happen again," Jimmy joked, trying to lift the young woman's spirits.

Theresa managed to stretch her lips in an awkward, sad smile, but her countenance sobered again as she said, "I feel so cheated, Jimmy."

"I know, sweetheart."

"What am I supposed to do now? What am I gonna do with my life?"

Theresa stared at Jimmy with big eyes, expecting an answer, a miraculous recipe to her now messy life. Jimmy cleared his throat uncomfortably and whispered, "I'm afraid I don't know. But I do know you don't have to do it alone. You have us, Tessie. Your family is here for you."

Theresa's tears that had not gone away too far sprang up to her eyes once again. Jimmy's words had managed to move her more than she could express, and now she felt too small and needy. Her hands reached out for him almost desperately as a sob escaped her mouth. Her face buried in his chest and as her body was cocooned in his arms. Her pain and anger got unleashed as a sensation of warmth and comfort gripped her heart, feeling safe and understood as she leaned against her good friend.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 47**

It was eerily silent in the jailhouse, and the only sounds that managed to reach his ears were the soft murmur or his own breathing. Sitting on the thin bunk where he had slept on and off the night before, Albert cast a look around the small office.

The marshal had left a few minutes ago, and only his deputy remained in the place. The man rocked his chair on its two back legs to and fro, and even though he was facing the cells, his attention was focused on the piece of wood he was carving into a shapeless figure. Strangely enough, the whittling knife made no sound at all. Albert thought that the silence was going to drive him insane.

His eyes fell on his father, who had been placed in the adjacent cell. His back was purposefully towards him; since he had been brought to the jailhouse, the doctor had not addressed a single word to his son, and Albert could not stand his cold treatment any longer. "This was a risk we always knew we were taking," Albert remarked as casually as if they were talking about the weather over a cup of coffee. "You shouldn't be so surprised."

Dr. Hill turned around slowly, and his dark, mysterious eyes darted to his son. "I can't understand how you can sound so smug and carefree after what you've done, Alfie," he spat disdainfully.

"I couldn't do anything else! They knew everything!"

"You fool, they never knew everything," Dr. Hill contradicted him. "You were just a toy in their hands, and they played you well."

"You're being unfair! You weren't there!"

"You even told them where I was!" Dr. Hill barked angrily. "It wasn't enough for you to sink in mud, but you had to drag me into the pit as well! I heard snakes feel a greater sense of loyalty than you!"

Annoyed by the loud voices, the deputy left his place and stepped out of the office, but neither of the two men in the cells noticed his absence. "They'll have found you sooner or later!"

"Is that your pitiful excuse?" Dr. Hill asked, his voice full of scorn and spite. "I'm ashamed of having you as a son."

Despite boiling with anger inside, Albert made a gesture of indifference. "You've never been proud of me anyway. I was never good enough for you, was I?"

"Please spare me the lecture," the older men retorted in a mocking tone. "I'm sick and tired of you and your words! Don't you realize that we are as well as dead? So if you don't have any brilliant ideas how to get us out of here, you better shut your trap!"

Dr. Hill turned his back to his son again, putting an end to the conversation. Almost at the same time Teaspoon walked in. The marshal took a few slow steps closer to the cells and stopped at a certain distance. His arms folded over his chest, he directed his eyes to the men with a mixture of curiosity, frustration, and rage. "How d'you find your accommodation, gentlemen?" he asked sarcastically. "Don't get too cozy though. Soon you'll be partin' to a more proper… destination."

Dr. Hill did not move a muscle, and Albert simply lifted his annoyed eyes to the marshal. For a moment Teaspoon thought the young man was going to speak up, but suddenly, his eyes softened as he looked at something behind the old lawman. The sound of heels against the wooden floor echoed in the room, and when Teaspoon turned around, he was surprised to find Theresa.

The young woman stopped for a second as her eyes darted to her husband. His gaze almost burned, but Theresa held her head high and proud as she walked to him, passing by the marshal without a single look in his direction. Teaspoon noticed the determination in the young woman's bearing, and decided to make himself scarce. He discreetly returned to his desk, so that Theresa could enjoy some privacy but at the same time he would be close enough in case she needed him.

For a few seconds Theresa simply stared at Albert through the cell bars, and the intensity of her green eyes was too much for him to endure. When Albert lowered his head, she finally spoke up. "Why, Albert? Why?"

"This has nothing to do with you?" he muttered.

"How the hell not? It's my brother you killed, and my sister you poisoned!"

"It was just a matter of luck… rather, bad luck. They… you were simply born to the wrong man."

"And all this for money," Theresa insisted in a shrill tone.

"Yes," Albert admitted as he lifted his eyes back to his wife.

"And me?"

"What about you?"

"Was marrying me part of your plan?"

Albert hesitated for a second, and then he nodded. "Yes, it was."

"You've never loved me!" Theresa exclaimed in an accusing tone.

"Love is a relative notion. I think you're a pretty good wife, and I guess I love you in my own way."

"In your own way?" Theresa whispered, trying to choke back the tears of shame and pain that threatened to escape.

"I did love you, Theresa," Albert stated. "And I know we could have lived a very happy, long life." The man lowered his gaze and noticed her hands gripping two cell bars. Without thinking about it twice, he dared to place his own hands over hers. "If I hadn't been caught, you could have enjoyed the luxuries of a queen. I'd have pampered and given you everything. It'd have been bliss."

Theresa stared at him in horror, and quickly removed her hands. "Don't touch me! Don't you ever touch me! You're sick and disgusting, and I've had enough! Go to hell!" Tears were pouring from her eyes as she swirled around and darted out of the office in a flash.

Teaspoon did not even have a chance to ask her whether she was fine, and as he glanced out of the window, he realized Theresa was already almost at the end of the street, clearly heading for her sister's place. Teaspoon rose from his chair, feeling as appalled by the men in the cells as Theresa had stated. These two people could not even been called men, and the marshal had to make use of all his restraint power to control the urge to draw his gun and empty it in the pair.

"You proud of yourself?" Teaspoon could not help but drop sourly.

Albert kept quiet, but Dr. Hill turned from the wall he had been staring at for the last twenty minutes, and said, "Marshal, keep your lectures and wise words for those who are interested in listening. What would you expect from that woman anyway? She's never been too bright, and she knew she was marrying above herself when Alfred proposed to her. Well, everything has a price in this world of ours."

Teaspoon took a couple of steps closer as his anger kept burning his very soul. "If you say one more malicious thing about Theresa, I'll forget I'm the law here. You deserve death through and through. How can you be so cynical when a death sentence dangles over your head?" Noticing Dr. Hill's derisive expression, the marshal felt fury soar inside, and suddenly a wicked idea crept into his mind. "I'm curious about something. Tell me how it feels knowin' all your plottin' and crimes only got you to death? And what for? For nothin'."

This perked Albert's attention at once. "What do you mean for nothing?"

A lopsided, ironic smile crept into his mouth. "That money you so lusted for is gone," Teaspoon said, enjoying the sight before him. The two men's faces looked visibly troubled, and even Dr. Hill's face had whitened in fear at the possibility the marshal had mentioned even though his whole self was set to deny the whole thing. "We had to check with the bank, and apparently there's been some complications."

"Complications?" Dr. Hill echoed, his deadly pale face revealing that his pretended indifference was crumbling down.

"Bad management and somethin' called the… the stock market have thrown that bank and others into bankruptcy," Teaspoon carried on with his concocted story. "They've lost all their clients' money. There's been quite a riot up there."

"But… but that's impossible!" Albert exclaimed. "The bank has a duty to guarantee the safety of our money… of people's money. It surely…"

"Shut up, Alfie!" Dr. Hill roared as he sank down on the bunk and buried his face in his hands. Right now he could not stand his son's foolishness, and his fury and frustration rocketed as misery wrapped around him.

Teaspoon gave a crooked, sarcastic smile. "Ain't it ironic? After all the trouble you went through to lay your dirty hands on Boggs' big dollars, it seems the money would never have become totally yours in the end. And now you're doomed."

The marshal did not linger there for a response, and instead turned around and stepped out of his office. Right now standing around those two was more than he could stand. Maybe his lie was not right, but he felt those two men needed a bigger lesson than death. What they had done was way too horrible, and they deserved their moral punishment, and if that meant to resort to a lie or two, Teaspoon did not feel guilty at all.

* * *

The window shutters were slightly open, and only a few sneaky sunrays made their way into the bedroom. Their light fell on the bright crystals embellishing the lamp of the dress which reflected a myriad of colors on the ceiling. Louise kept her eyes directed upwards, blankly staring at the game of lights and shadows. When the door clicked open, she unglued her gaze from the ceiling and saw her husband walk inside.

Kid's features lit up with a bright smile instantly as he asked, "How are you feeling today?"

Louise shrugged her shoulders in indifference. "Could you pleased open the shutters, Kid? The room looks even gloomier than I feel," she asked instead of answering his question.

The Southerner strode across the bedroom, and as he pulled the shutters widely open, he said, "Lou, you shouldn't torture yourself this way. The important thing is that you're gonna be fine, and we need to put these horrible weeks behind us."

Lou kept her arm dangling above her eyes to block the bright sunshine that momentarily blinded her. "My poor brother wasn't that lucky," she said grimly. "He didn't have the chance to even defend himself."

"I… I know," Kid agreed. "That was very unfair indeed."

Lou kept quiet for a few seconds, and then she added, "I wonder how Tessie's doing. She hasn't been here to see me since she fled yesterday. I know her, and she must be having a hell of a time."

"Last night she stayed in her old room in this house, but she wouldn't talk to me or anybody," Kid explained, and as Lou sighed unhappily, he added, "She needs time, but I'm sure she'll talk to us when she's ready to do so."

"She's gonna need us terribly."

Kid nodded, and slowly walked closer to the bed. "I've been thinking about something, Lou." He paused, and as his wife silently sent him an enquiring look, he continued, "We could ask her to move to the ranch with us. She shouldn't be alone after all that's happened. And … and if the idea doesn't appeal to her, well… we might even consider living in Seneca."

"Would you be ready to do that?" Lou asked in obvious astonishment.

"I… I don't know," Kid admitted. "I just know you and your sister have gone through too much for the last couple of years, especially in the last couple of days, learning the devastating truth that Albert hid. You two need to be together and support each other, and I won't stand in the middle like a stupid obstacle."

Lou smiled for the first time. "You're so generous, Kid. You never cease to amaze me."

Kid blushed, feeling very awkward to be receiving her praise he thought he did not deserve. "All I want is for all of us to be fine. Lou, I've been so miserable and scared in these weeks when that damn doctor kept saying you were going to die."

Lou took a deep breath. "I… I know," she muttered.

"The idea of losing you forever made me realize that nothing matters more than family… those you love. I don't care about the ranch or anything else… one way or another we'll make do, but we need to stick together as Teaspoon always says."

"The ranch's part of your life too," Lou contradicted him.

"But I'd trade it for you and your happiness," Kid insisted honestly.

Lou smiled and spread her arms to him. "Come here, Kid," she whispered, and her husband promptly snuggled in the warmth of her embrace and held her as close to him as possible.

"Oh Lou, I'm so glad everything's over and you're almost well," he exclaimed. "I thought I'd never hold you again."

"Oh one day you'll get tired of these old bones of mine. What was it you called me once? Oh yes, only bones and skin."

Kid drew away and looked into her big, brown eyes. "Never, Mrs. McCloud. Even when your beautiful skin gets wrinkled and your lovely chestnut hair turns into a layer of grayness, I won't be able to keep my hands off you. I want your nice bones and skin forever. Please let's love and grow old together, my beautiful wife."

Louise grinned. "You've grown into such a sweet talker, Kid," she teased him. "Have you been taking lessons from Teaspoon?"

Kid ignored her jest as his mind was dominated by more compelling matters. "Let's grow old, Lou," he repeated. "No more surprises."

Louise realized he was serious and was not in the mood for joking. For weeks Kid had thought she was dying, and as Lou put herself in his shoes now, she could hardly bear the mere thought. Her mind traveled back to those months she had believed he had been killed in war. The agony and pain were still fresh in her soul and even though her husband was before her at that moment, her eyes suddenly filled with tears. Cursing herself for crying, Lou forced herself to push those negative thoughts out of her mind and wiped those ominous tears from her eyes. Her honest gaze directed to her husband as she opened her mouth to speak. "No more surprises, Kid. I promise," she said, and even though her promise was senseless, this was something that the two of them needed to hear.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 48**

A piercing, terrified scream suddenly broke the silence in the first hours of the morning, reverberating throughout the jailhouse. Teaspoon had been dozing in his chair when the deafening yell woke him up startlingly, and he almost found himself hitting the hard wooden floor. The scream was followed by short high-pitched yelps and, as soon as the marshal shifted his glance in the direction the disturbing sounds came from, his eyes fell on Albert.

The young man was on his feet, taking in rapid, gasping breaths as he kept darting yell after yell out of his throat. Teaspoon grunted tiredly. Yesterday more than once Albert had crumbled down and made a show of himself, dropping to his knees, and crying for mercy and forgiveness like a baby. Teaspoon was running out of patience, and starting off the day with one of Albert's stunts did not help his growing irritation. "Sanders!" the marshal growled as he rose to his feet. "Please shut your trap!"

Albert's yelps were replaced by shivering wails and his index finger lifted shakily, pointing at the adjacent cell.

"Holy Mother of God!" Teaspoon breathed in shock as he finally realized that it was not one of Albert's stunts but he was genuinely distraught.

A couple of legs dangling to and fro was what the marshal first saw, and as his eyes travelled upwards and took in every detail of the hanged body, it was obvious there was nothing to be done. The man was dead. Dr. Hill's eyes were slightly open, directed to the floor, his head falling against his left shoulder, and his skin was so white that it looked translucent. It was obvious that during the night Dr. Hill had stealthily killed himself, using his braces.

Teaspoon ran to open the cell door and struggled to release the body. Dr. Hill fell heavily on the floor, and then the marshal hauled him up onto the bunk. Even though he knew the man was dead, the marshal checked for his vital signs. There was no heartbeat; his body was cold and showing signs of rigor mortis. Teaspoon lifted his eyes, and looked at Albert through the barred barrier separating the cells. A shake of his head just told the younger man what he already knew.

As Teaspoon looked away and shifted his gaze back to the lying body, something caught his eye. There were a few words scratched on the wall. His index finger touched and ran through the carved letters, and as he did so, the tip of his digit came out covered by a flimsy layer of whitish powder, so he deducted that the simple inscription had not been there for too long.

"I think he left you a message," Teaspoon muttered.

Calmer now, the young man wiped his bloodshot and puffy eyes with the back of his sleeve. "Wh… what?"

"Your father… it seems his last thoughts were for ya," Teaspoon replied, pointing to the letters scratched on the wall with his thumb.

"What… what does it say?"

Teaspoon cleared his throat before he said, "I'm sorry, son." Looking back at Albert, the marshal noticed the young man was clearly battling with a myriad of feelings, a mixture of shock, pain, and fear. "He must've loved you in his own way too," the marshal could not help but sarcastically drop the same comment Albert had uttered about Theresa. Yet, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. No matter what these two had done, he should not gloat in the face of death. Yet, he could not suppress the rage he was feeling, and he just could not show mercy for these men. They had crossed a line, which was untouchable. So before he did something he might regret, the marshal rose to his feet and turned from the cell. "I'll fetch the undertaker," was all he muttered, and without sparing a single look, he just walked out.

* * *

After Dr. Hill's suicide, Teaspoon found that this was not the last problem to face. When the judge arrived in Rock Creek a couple of days later, Albert decided to deny everything he had confessed before, swearing the marshal and his men had coerced him to say what was not true. Under oath during the trial Teaspoon and his ex-riders told the judge what Alfred Sanders had admitted to having done. Naturally, they all feared that those contradictory testimonies might acquit Albert, but thankfully the physical evidence found in the safe of the accused man as well as the suspicious accounts had finally proved that Albert was guilty. Just as it was expected and hoped, the judge sentenced him to death.

During the two days that the trial lasted, Theresa had been a constant spectator, and nobody had been able to persuade her to stay put. The young woman had been too distraught after discovering who her husband really was and what he had done. Several times in the last few days she had needed to be treated by the doctor when she had suffered several episodes of anxiety and nervous attacks. Dr. Sullivan had prescribed her some tranquillizing syrup, and had advised her to have some rest, but evidently, she had turned a deaf ear to his recommendations. Everybody could see Theresa was not well, but hopefully, time would finally heal her deep wounds.

Early that morning Teaspoon and Jimmy set for St Joseph where they would take Albert for execution. From a safe distance Kid had seen them ride away. The nightmare was finally over, but the Southerner still needed to see the snake go away with his own eyes. As the dust settled after the three riders and Kid could not see them anymore, he started back for his home.

Albert was a thing of the past, and now they would have to rebuild their lives out of the ashes all this morbid matter had left. Lou was getting better with each passing day, and Dr. Sullivan had assured him she would be able to travel in a few weeks. She had left the constant position in the bed a few days ago, and now took small strolls around the house, trying to get her strength and energy back. Even those brief walks she took were enough to tire her out, but day by day she was getting stronger.

When the time came to leave for Fort Kearney, they would not go alone. Although reluctant at first, Theresa had accepted their invitation to stay at their home. The young woman had argued, though, that her stay would be temporary, just for a few weeks, enough for her to get back on track. Kid and Lou had not insisted because at least Theresa would not be alone in these first hard weeks of her new life, and they would worry about her if she decided to stick to her intentions.

As Kid reached his house, Dr. Sullivan was on his way out after visiting Lou. The physician only came to see her every three days now, which was an obvious symptom that she was better and did not need so much medical attention. Kid smiled at the doctor, and asked the usual question, "How's my wife?"

Dr. Sullivan did not answer straightaway, and Kid noticed he seemed distracted. "Uh… fine, she's fine." The doctor paused, and then asked, "Could I have a word with you, Mr. McCloud? There's something important I need to discuss with you."

Even though the physician had just said that Lou was fine, his enigmatic last words troubled Kid. "Sure."

The Southerner led the way into the house and the study that had not been used for years. It was dark inside, so Kid opened a window and light rushed inside. The doctor sat down across from Kid, and in a very soft voice he finally spoke up.

Kid's eyes almost popped out as he heard the physician. "A… a baby?" he echoed as if he had not heard right. "Pregnant? Pregnant?"

"I don't know how I missed it before," Dr. Sullivan said in an apologetic tone. "I guess I was worried about other matters."

"But everything's fine, ain't it? She's fine, ain't she?"

Dr. Sullivan nodded. "You have nothing to worry about. Both mother and child are all right."

"This… this is so unexpected that I don't know what to say," Kid muttered.

"It's understandable," the doctor remarked. "You've all been through too much, but I believe a baby can bring some peace and joy after everything that's happened. It's a real blessing."

Kid simply nodded, and after walking the doctor to the front door and conveying his thanks, he rushed back to the bedroom. Contrary to his expectations, he found Lou alone, sitting on her rocking chair. "Good morning," he called as he slid inside. "I thought your sister'd be keeping you company."

Louise smiled and stretched her hand to him, which he took in his and placed a kiss on her knuckles. "She had a headache and went back to her room a minute ago." Lou paused, and then asked, "Where have you gone so early today?"

"I had some errands to run," he simply said. Lou got too upset when Albert's name came up in their conversations, so Kid tried to avoid uttering his name at all costs, especially after learning the news from the doctor. The least Lou needed was to start the day in a foul mood. That was why he rapidly changed the subject. "You definitely have more color on your face this morning. You look so pretty."

Lou grinned, pleased by his compliment, and then added, "Did you talk to Dr. Sullivan?"

"Yes," Kid whispered.

"And he told you."

"He told me."

"And how do you feel about it?" she asked.

"How do you think I feel, Lou?"

Louise nodded in understanding. "This is such a good thing, something we should already be celebrating, but all this dirty business has smeared everything with so much sadness and pain."

"I know, but we can't let this matter spoil things. For once we have good news, and like Dr. Sullivan just told me, this is what we need to lift our spirits. You know this is just wonderful."

"You're right," Lou admitted in a soft voice.

"And you're right too. We're so sad, and we should be celebrating instead of moping around. Maybe this ain't a good day, but let's tell Theresa, and we'll have our celebration… just the three of us. We need to make an effort for us and for her. I'll cook, and you girls can relax and talk about babies and all that."

Lou grinned. "Tessie really needs reasons to smile again. She's lost too much… way more than me, and I'm sure this can help us to leave the past behind."

"Like Ari told us once, a baby in the house will make a big difference. This is a sign, Lou, a sign for a better future that'll bloom like flowers in spring. I'm sure it is."

Lou smiled ruefully. "I really hope so."


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 49 – Epilogue**

_Fort Kearney – Seven months later_

Rain fell steadily, pattering against the glass pane with a soothing rhythm. Leaning against the window frame, Kid blankly stared at the spotted composition the raindrops had randomly created on the surface of the glass. His eyes followed a single tiny drop that traveled from the top until it disappeared into the window sill.

Beyond the confines of the window the verandah surrounding the porch gracefully supported the flower pots that Lou had put so much care and love into all winter long. The seeds had already given birth to some green shots, and Kid could now even see the germ of a few flowers among the greenery. Big raindrops fell on the new leaves and stalks, showering the shy, young saplings with their life-giving kiss. Soon enough the porch would boast its beauty when colorful flowers majestically sat in their pots in the otherwise dull environment.

Kid moved from the window and looked around his living room, which was oddly packed. A week ago he had welcomed his friends, who did not want to miss the birth of the first baby McCloud. Teaspoon was sitting on the rocking chair that Lou usually favored at the end of every day, and for once he was very quiet. Cody and Jimmy were talking in soft tones, seated side by side on the sofa while Buck stood by the fireplace, listening to them.

"They've been up there for too long," Kid said, lifting his eyes to the ceiling.

"These things take time, son."

"Teaspoon's right," Buck added. "All the times Julia's gone into labor, it's been torturously long. When our youngest was born last February, it was a twelve-hour wait, and that was pretty quick compared to other times."

Kid blanched as he heard Buck, and as Jimmy noticed his friend's expression, he added, "It doesn't have to be like that now."

"When Louisa had our Kit," Cody added, "he was in such a hurry to get out that he was almost born in the wagon as I drove my wife home."

"I know this is natural for women," Kid said in a morose voice, "but you know, these months have been too hard for her, and I hope this…"

"She'll be fine, Kid," Teaspoon assured him. "As soon as the baby's born, nothing else will matter to her, you'll see. We'll all become invisible."

Kid nodded. "Yes, I know, and she's now much better. The worst is gone. It's really admirable how she's pulled it off after what happened."

"And you helped… a lot," Jimmy reminded him.

"But I still think that nice amount of money Pa Boggs left would have given a nice helping hand too," Cody remarked.

Kid shook his head. "Both Lou and Tessie were adamant. They didn't want to touch a single cent of the money which led to their brother being killed and caused so much turmoil in their lives." Lou had been the first to renounce her rights as her father's heiress, which had left Theresa as the only beneficiary, ironically just as her husband had wanted. Then Tessie had also refused, and both sisters had agreed to give that money to the orphanage they had grown up in. The years had left their weakening mark in the place, and thanks to the McCloud sisters' generosity, the nuns were now refurbishing the old orphanage and turning it into a cozier home for those parentless children they took in.

"Givin' all that money away was so good of your wife and Tessie," Teaspoon said with a proud smile.

The sound of a door opening and closing followed by quick steps drew the men's attention at once. Ari rushed down the stairs and breathlessly said, "Not long now." Without waiting for anybody to respond to her words, the woman ran into the kitchen and reappeared seconds later, carrying a pot of boiling water. She hastened up the stairs again without uttering a single sound or looking at anybody. The men remained in silence, almost holding their breaths and praying everything would go fine.

Half an hour later a wail was heard in the silence of the house, and only then Kid and the other men could breathe out. A whoop sounded in the living room, and hugs and smiles were exchanged. Dr. Lloyd climbed down the stairs, and before anybody asked him, he said, "Both mother and child are well and happy."

"Can we see them, doc?" Teaspoon asked.

"Sure, but just for a little while. She's tired and needs her rest."

Kid led the way up the staircase, closely followed by Jimmy, Cody, and Buck. Teaspoon stayed downstairs, thanking the doctor and walking him to his wagon. Kid knocked at the bedroom door, and carefully opened it a crack. "May we come in?"

"Of course Kid," Rachel replied from inside.

As Kid walked into the room, he straightaway saw his wife cradling the baby in her arms. Louise grinned at him, and they shared a tender, knowing look, which was suddenly interrupted by Theresa's demanding voice. "Lou, give me my baby!"

Louise smiled as once again she found herself the aim of her sister's strange moods as of lately. Naturally, she could not blame her. In the last month of her pregnancy Theresa had got so big that she could barely move, which had made her frustrated and difficult to deal with most of the time. Kid and Lou had tried to become almost invisible around her in the last weeks, but their discretion had also annoyed her. Her irritability had naturally soared during labor, and Lou and the other two women had to challenge their patience more than once. Now that the difficult time of giving birth was finally over, Theresa was still jumpy, and Lou guessed her sister needed more time to calm down.

Louise walked to the bed and placed the baby in her sister's waiting arms. Theresa's eyes suddenly filled with tears as she felt her baby's soft skin and warmth. "He's such a beautiful boy," she croaked as tear drops trickled down her cheeks. And he was a real blessing in all senses; when Theresa had been deep in sorrow after learning what a fiasco her marriage had been, learning about her longed-for baby felt like a miracle and what had saved her sanity.

"Yes, he is," Ari whispered, her own eyes misting.

"Congratulations, Tessie," Kid said with a smile. "You made us all proud."

"Thanks," Theresa replied, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. She had never meant something more in her life. Kid and her sister had been there for her when she had been at her lowest ebb and felt her life had no sense. Her boy was truly blessed because she knew that with her family he would not miss anything, not even his father.

"A boy then," Cody remarked with a smile.

Theresa nodded, and Jimmy asked, "And does the little tot have a name yet?"

The new mother found her sister's eyes before she said, "His name's Jeremiah… Jeremiah McCloud."

"That's a good, strong name," said Teaspoon, who had just walked through the door.

"And your brother would be pleased to know his nephew will carry his name," Kid said softly, wrapping his arm around Lou's shoulders as he noticed her teary-eyed.

"This boy is a McCloud through and through," Theresa said stubbornly. She had started using her maiden name the moment she set foot in Fort Kearney. After all, her married name was a lie, and she could never use Albert's real surname because she felt it didn't belong to her. "He does look like us… like our family, doesn't he, Louise?"

"Honey, please, don't torture herself with that again. It doesn't matter what he looks like. He's a beautiful boy and your beloved son."

Theresa lowered her eyes to her baby, and sighed. "You're right. Even if he gets to be the spitting image of Albert, it won't matter to me. I already love my boy so much. My son is the only thing my husband gave me and I'm thankful for."

"We all love him already," Lou said. Theresa closed her eyes and started humming a lullaby to her son. Louise stared at the scene between mother and child, and leaned closer against Kid. His left hand instantly came to rest in her middle and started to caress her still unnoticeable bulge. Just last week the doctor had confirmed that she was expecting, and they were both still bewildered by the news.

For months Louise and Kid had been very careful during their intimate encounters, and even after being assured that there was no trace of poison left in her body, the couple had been wary and concerned. This pregnancy had been a surprise, and they were worried, especially Kid, although the doctor had assured them that they had nothing to fear. Yet, Lou knew that they couldn't just not worry after what they had to go through all those months ago. Fear had such a strong grip on them that they had not yet told anybody about the baby, not even Theresa.

Now as Lou watched Tessie and her boy, she wanted to believe that everything was possible. Her sister had been left stranded in a fake life with nothing and nobody to hold on to, and in the darkest moment of her existence she had been granted a hope, a sweet gift. Life was cruel, but also full of blessings. Lou was aware that they all stood on unstable ground, and at any moment a single step might send them to the abyss. Naturally, this was not a fairytale, but she had faith there was a reason for everything even though she often was too blind to see it. Now a life was growing inside her. Why should she doubt her own baby could turn out to be anything but good? The doctor believed so, then why did she have to be so incredulous? She and Kid had overcome too much already: a war, a wrong death, stupid pride that had kept them apart for too long, threatening jealousy, murder, and over all terrible pain. Now they were together against all odds, so why did she have to be so negative when they were being given a miracle, the best gift they could receive?

Rachel was asking, or rather demanding, the men to leave and let the new ma have her rest. Lou steeled her grip on her husband, and followed him outside the room. The men scurried downstairs, and Lou stopped just in the corridor, preventing her husband from moving too. When she looked up, she saw his questioning expression. Pulling herself up on her tiptoes, she planted a big kiss on his lips out of the blue. Kid smiled a bewildered smile, and she said, "We are fine, Kid. We are all fine, and we will be. And you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you kept your faith and rescued what little was left in me. When we met in Rock Creek all these months ago, I was withered, almost dead inside, but you kept me alive in more than one sense, and made me bloom again. And now," she stopped for a second to touch her middle before continuing, "And now this baby will grow fine and healthy because I have your strength and faith in me. I know it's true… it has to be true."

Kid smiled. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes," he repeated almost instantly, trying to convince himself that there was nothing to worry about. He took a deep breath, smiled again, and said, "And you know something."

"What?"

"You're still the prettiest flower I've ever seen."

His words had an instant effect on Louise. She threw her head back, and laughed… a carefree, open laugh like a prelude of all the good things that were sure due to come.

_The End_

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**_Note: Thanks to everybody who has followed this story and has left such encouraging comments, especially AA, Brankell, Segate, Michelle, Wendy and Gina. Girls, you know your feedback, which I often feel is totally undeserved, means the world to me and keeps me going. Thanks a lot_**


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